A/N: Apologies for no update last week. I had HUUGE amounts of prep (H/W) which bogged me down. So you get double this week. This is last weeks chapter.

Enjoy

Merlin thought for a bit on the best way to describe how he felt before settling on an appropriate analogy.

"Well sire. It's complicated. Imagine a balloon a huge balloon the size of my body inside me. All my Magic is in that balloon, and before when I used magic I had to make a small hole in the balloon to let it out," Merlin paused to make sure that they all understood.

Uther nodded. "So far I don't see what is so complicated"

Merlin continued. "I had to want to let the magic out, or else once a week. It would make a hole of its own and use itself. Now imagine the balloon bursting. The air is still there but there is nothing keeping in there. Well that's what has happened sire. Magic was inside my body but trapped unable to leave unless I let it. What was keeping in that place that I had to break into each time has burst. There is nothing keeping it there. As though I have made a hole and Magic is waiting to be given a use. There's more to it than that Magic is alive. But, that's the simplest explanation I can give sire." Merlin shrugged.

They all thought about the implications of this and it was Arthur who asked the next question.

"But what does this mean in your day to day life? How is it going to affect you?"

"Well basically if I want something done Magic will do it automatically. I had to forcibly stop it clearing up the water. And if anything shocks me Magic will be my automatic defence. When you threw that pillow at me, I could see it going in slow motion which allowed me to dodge it. I wanted to send something back at you" he gestured around the room "Hence all of the extra pillows."

He suddenly stopped. And started pacing, still speaking. The other occupants only caught bits of what he was saying and what they heard scared them.

"But what if… that wouldn't be good… I can't… I will have to… I will have to leave… I can't stay… It's not safe. Damn." He ran to his room.

Everyone looked at each other in confusion. What did he mean he would have to leave? Why? Merlin came back with a rucksack on his back.

Morgana spoke for them

"Merlin, where and why are you going?"

He ran his hand through his hair.

"Don't you see? I have to go. My chores are literally going to do themselves. Everyone will notice my gold eyes and anyone who gets too close too quickly will suddenly be knocked back. I am a danger to everyone and especially to the king and his son.

When the people know what I am and that they already knew and I wasn't dead. They will start breaking the law even more, after all if I can get away with the breaking the law on magic, THE most enforced law, then they can get away with breaking other laws. I can't stay here Morgana. When people find out they can't hurt me they will hurt the ones I love. I can't see Gwen dead again, I would try to revive her and if I pushed all my Magic out in one go it would either kill me or put me in a coma again, making me easy prey. I CAN'T see Gwen dead again. I can't see anyone in this room dead. You all mean too much to me. I don't know where I will go. But I know I must. I'm so sorry."

Here he turned to Arthur, no one in the room could say anything they were too shocked to speak or to try and stop him.

"I'm sorry sire. I really did believe I would be in your service the rest of my life. It has been said that magic will be free again when you are on the throne so maybe, we'll see each other again. One day" He looked at the current king and spoke this time to him "I hope that day is not soon."

Looking now at Gaius he continued to speak "Continue helping people. You're a great man and I think of you as a father. All children must leave home someday I am just going earlier than expected. Gwen, my Gwen. I love you don't forget that but don't pine for me. You'll be fine without me, find someone else. I promise to love you forever but you aren't bound by Magic like me so find someone Gwen, you're young, be happy, enjoy whatever fate throws at you. Sire I beg your leave." At Uther's automatic nod Merlin tried a trick he had never done before but knew instantly he could do. Copying Anhora he disappeared from where he was standing in Gaius' chambers.

He found himself back on the isle.