Matt POV
Near this and Near that. Oh, hey, Matt, guess what, Near fucking beat me again. Or, Hey Matt, I got 100 percent on that test but Near got 101! Near Near Near Near Near Near Near! Fucking Near!
Near, you better fucking watch your back because when you least expect it, I will fucking kidnap you, torture you for days on end, make you cry and go insane, lose thousands of your many brain cells you never seemed to lose, and then murder you!
I so fucking tired of hearing about you every single day of my life. You're in most of my classes, which sucks ass, and when I finally get to escape to my dorm room where I can forget everyone and everything annoying, Mello storm in and starts ranting about you! I sick of hearing all the magnificent bullshit you do.
And just so you know, Mello doesn't love you. Get over it. He's mine. So you can stop trying to sneak in our room to rape him when I'm asleep. I will catch you every time and beat the shit out of you. And I don't care how many times Roger yells at me for doing that.
And also, with your creepy nature, I bet L won't pick you to be his successor. Because you're fucking weird and need to grow of few feet and learn how to get up off the ground and walk by yourself instead of having people carry you. And get rid of the toys, they creep me out. I keep thinking they're going to come alive and eat me or something.
Go buy yourself some porn or something.