The Uncanny Couple

(Formerly known as What a Revoltin' Development!)

Chapter 10: Say Uncle!

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Darkjadedrose- Glad to see you back, luv.

Agent-G- Oh yeah, you can bet that the Selene/Subby fight is gonna be good.

The Baxter Building-

It was mid-morning at the Baxter Building, home of the Fantastic Four. As usual, Reed Richards had chose to forgo breakfast and was still in his lab experimenting with random doo-dads. Susan Richards was feeding baby Val while searching for Franklin's favourite cereal. Ben Grimm was making the coffee and was waiting for the hot water to boil. Johnny Storm was slouched in front of the TV watching cartoons.

Selene walked in the kitchen and greeted everybody amicably.

'Good morning everybody.' She said, rather too perky for such a time in the morning. 'How is everybody this fine afternoon?'

'No talk, TV.' Johnny mumbled from his seat on the sofa.

Selene walked over to Ben and kissed him on the cheek.

'Having a little problem with the coffee pot, Ben?'

'Yeah, the frickin' thing won't work.' Ben replied. 'Stretcho goes and invents a new one and the piece of trash won't work.'

'Maybe I'll be able to help.' Selene said as she pointed a finger at the pot. A small lick of flame shot out from her finger and enveloped it, boiling it pretty much instantly. 'See?' She grinned. 'Simple as that.'

'I don't see why you couldn'ta done that, Torchie.' Ben said.

'But I don' wanna...' Johnny pouted.

Selene took a seat and helped herself to some random pastries.

'Is anybody doing anything exciting today?' She asked. 'Fighting the Super-Skrull? Is Mole Man up to his old tricks? Perhaps Diablo wants his butt kicking.'

'Nothing as exciting as that.' Sue replied. 'Reed still refuses to come out from his lab, Johnny has to see our lawyers about merchandising rights and Ben promised to help She-Hulk with some heavy lifting.'

'What about you Sue, have you got any plans for today?' Selene asked.

'Well apart from dropping Franklin off at school, nothing.' Sue replied. 'Why, have you got any plans?'

'There's a new exhibition in town showing genuine Roman artefacts.' Selene said. 'I thought that I'd pop in and see whether they really are Roman artefacts.'

'And you'd really know such things, right?' Ben asked.

'Well I was around then.' Selene replied. 'One never loses an eye for genuine Roman artefacts.'

'If you want some company, I'll be happy to join you.' Sue said. 'It'll give me something to do anyway.'

Later-

Sue had dropped Franklin off at school and Val at her babysitter's and was strolling through the museum with Selene.

'That's fake, that's fake. Fibre glass, Greek...' Selene said as she ascertained that most of the exhibits there were fakes or in the completely wrong area of the museum. 'I can't see how these scientists can call themselves experts. In my day I would have had them flayed alive and thrown to the lions.'

'You are joking, right?' Sue asked nervously.

'I never joke about Roman history.' Selene replied seriously. 'Kidding!' She added off Sue's shocked look. 'No, I would have had their hands chopped off, then flayed and fed to the lions.'

'You have a seriously warped sense of humour.' Sue groaned.

'But such a beautiful face.' A masculine voice said from behind them.

Sue and Selene both spun around and looked at the face of the speaker. It was Namor, the Sub-Mariner.

'Oh Namor, what a pleasant surprise.' Sue said, her words dripping with sarcasm.

'What have I done to receive such animosity from you, Susan?' He asked.

'That was the time when you teamed up with Doctor Doom.' Sue asked. 'And that one time where you and the Atlantean army invaded New York. Not forgetting the other time where you teamed up with Doctor Doom, yet again, to drive Reed mad.'

'But I only did it for you, Susan.' Namor replied. 'I only did it for you love.'

'Well you certainly have a funny way of showing it.' Selene snorted. 'Why not drown the city while you're at it?'

'I think he did that in the Thirties.' Sue replied.

'Oh.' Selene said. 'I didn't know that, I was still in Nova Roma.'

'Come away with me Susan. Leave this place and join me.' Namor continued.

'You certainly have a lot of guts.' Sue said as she shook her head in exasperation. 'Have I ever accepted you offer?'

'No you have not.' Namor replied. 'But that has not stopped me from trying.'

'You might want to do the lady a favour and leave.' Selene said. 'We came here to have a quiet day out and you slither in from the sea and stink out the place like some rotten fish.'

'You had better watch how you address me, woman.' Namor said as he narrowed his eyes in anger. 'I do not wish to do anything that you may regret.'

'I somehow doubt that.' Selene snorted. 'In the many years I have been alive, I have done things that would make you wish that you were in a can, like all your other little sardine friends.'

'I am warning you...' Namor said as he put his hand on Selene's shoulder in warning.

'Oh no.' Selene replied, not moving an inch. 'I'm warning YOU. You had better remove your hand or you will see what I can really do.'

'Selene, I don't think this is a good idea.' Sue said as she tried to calm matters. 'There are too many people about. If you have to fight, take it outside.'

'Oh I plan to take it outside.' Selene replied as an evil grin spread across her lips. 'Let me ask you something, your majesty, have you ever been to been to England and tried battered fish?'

'No, I have not. Why do you ask?' Namor asked.

'Because you're about to find out what it is like.' Selene replied as she summoned a huge fireball and smashed Namor through a wall.

'Selene!' Sue gasped. 'There was really no need for that.'

'Oh come on Susan. That man is infuriating. He had it coming.'

'You will pay for that woman.' Namor snarled as he got to his feet. 'You will pay dearly.'

'It has been such a long time since I have tested myself in battle.' Selene grinned. 'I look forward to it.'

While all this posturing carried on, Sue retreated to a safe distance to call the other members of the Fantastic Four.

Outside-

The action had spilled out onto the street with each combatant both throwing mean punches. During the fight, Selene had started to feel her strength come back, just like the Hulk did when he gets angry, so she and Namor were evenly matched.

'You are a worthy adversary Selene.' Namor said as he wiped blood from his mouth. 'It will be such a pity to harm such a beautiful face.'

'I wager you say that to all the women you fight.' Selene said as she hefted up a car. 'That seems to be all you are good for nowadays.'

Namor narrowly avoided getting squashed by the car as Selene threw it at him.

During the fight, Namor neglected to notice a crack in the sidewalk that had been arisen during the fight. He was about to make a running charge at Selene when he tripped on the crack and fell flat on his face.

'Enjoy your trip?' Selene chuckled as she hefted up another car. This time her throw was accurate as it landed on top of the Sub-Mariner. 'Do you submit?' She asked.

'I will never submit!' Namor said, already getting up on his feet.

Selene hefted up another car and threw that on top of the first.

'Come on, you can't possibly keep this up all day.' She said.

'I am Namor and I will keep this up until my last breath!' Namor said as he crawled out from underneath the wreckage.

'Very well.' Selene shrugged as she picked up yet another car. 'I'm not your mother.'

Namor was almost free from the wreckage when Selene threw the car on top of him again.

'Say uncle!' Selene said.

'NEVER!' Namor yelled form underneath the wreckage.

'I was hoping you would say that.' Selene grinned.

Several more cars later-

Selene had piled nine cars on top of Namor and yet, he still came back for more. Selene was just about to see if Namor could handle ten cars on top of him when an arm stretched around the car and pulled it away from her.

'Selene, that is enough!' Reed said as he, Johnny and Ben appeared in the FantastiCar. 'I may not be much of a fan of Namor myself but there is other ways to deal with this.'

Selene reluctantly stopped fighting and helped Namor out from under the wrecked cars.

'You're lucky that Reed and the others came here when I did.' She hissed. 'You had better not come back to New York in a hurry.'

'You are a most worthy adversary.' Namor said as he took Selene's hand and kissed it. 'Your strength is only outweighed by your beauty. I look forward to seeing you again.'

And without another word, Namor flapped those tiny little ankle wings and flew away.

'Well it certainly looks like Subby's over you, Sue.' Johnny grinned. 'Now he's got the hots for Selene!'

Selene just shot the Human Torch a glare and walked off back to the Baxter Building.

END...

Next: He's baaack! Find out who in... 'If it's Good Enough for Claremont...'