Part 10
I had worked my socks off the week after being in the bottom two. I had sung Take That's relight my fire. I had gotten some really good feedback and more importantly I wasn't in the bottom two. I remember crying with happiness when I had been told. I also remember getting pretty drunk that night as well. This week the theme was American Anthems and I was singing Areosmith's 'Don't want to miss a thing'. I had heard the song a thousand times before. I knew how to sing it and I knew all the key chains, when to sing softly and when to belt it out. Cheryl had been very supportive and had asked for my opinion on the song choices. She understood my personality, knew my style and adapted the themes to it. People would think that my song choice was a little odd. I mean I'm 17 years young and the song is pretty old. I liked the song and it was a classic. I was pretty excited to sing it and I had done a lot of preparation for it. I thought I was ready for it.
I slipped into my lilac floor length dress. My ginger hair was piled up on my head and I had two simple sliver earrings in that hung from my earlobes. I checked the clock on the wall. I had an hour before I had to go and wait to go on. I slipped out the dressing room and walked down the corridor. I needed to get some fresh air. I walked towards the exit. I pushed open the door and was greeted by a few fans waiting outside. I smiled and signed some posters and papers. I had photos with fans and I said I would follow some people. After I had said bye to everyone I went around the corner away from the hype and the pressure of the X Factor. The cold air brushed over my skin, refreshing my whole body. I lent my back against the cold wall and rested my head on the wall. I took a deep shaky breath, centering my mind. I couldn't deal with all this stress, it was getting too much. Every week you had to be better otherwise it was almost certain you would be in the bottom two. Also there was the thing with Harry. Simon had approached us the other week asking if anything was happening between us, of course we lied. But since then we were hardly ever alone with each other. It was killing me. I heard someone mutter from around the corner. I stood away from the wall and walked around in my high heels. I rounded the corner and what I saw made my physically sick. It was something that would haunt me for the months to come. Harry was up against a wall locking lips with Sarah the dancer. They hadn't seen me, I backed up around the corner. My back coming into contact with the cold wall. Once so inviting. I brought a shaky hand up to my mouth the stop the scream that wanted to escape my lips. I ran from my hiding place and slammed through the door and stumbled as I sprinted down to my dressing room. I slammed the door shut and sank down the floor. The tears rolled down my face. Me and Harry were never official, we were never girlfriend and boyfriend. But I thought he loved me and I know I loved him. Did our 'relationship' mean nothing to him? Did the words 'I love you' just go in one ear and out the other. Did he not realize my love for him was genuine. Something clicked and everything was put into perspective. I knew why Simon didn't like people in the house being in relationships, they would be focused on other things. I was so focused on me and Harry being together and not getting caught that I forgot the reason I was here. To get a chance to be a singer. If I could go back in time I would go back to the day I first met Harry. I would not have flirted with him and I wouldn't not have shown any interest in him. I wouldn't have kissed him. It was like he had ripped my heart out while wrapping his arms around that dancer, laughing at my broken body. It didn't feel nice.I knew that was the end for me and Harry.
I can't remember anything about my performance, I know I did an OK job. Singing soft when needed and belting it out when I had to. I don't remember the comments and I don't remember how my performance was compared to the others. Harry was just clouding my mind. I thought about him all night. How he had betrayed me. How could I have loved someone like that?
I was back at the house and I knew I couldn't have him in my room tonight. That was for sure. I walked through the crowded kitchen to the living room where Harry was lying along the couches with the boys and Katie.
"Harry Can I talk to you?" I asked, He dropped his left eye and nodded at me. He got up and I heard Louis shout something about 'No Hanky Panky'. I smiled at them, my face not let any other expression fall on my face. I turned on my heel and walked down the corridor till I reached a door. It lead into the gym, I yanked it open and wondered inside. Harry shut the door behind me. I turned around and looked at him, properly looked at him. His gorgeous body, he sexy, smoldering green eyes. His curly chocolate hair. The face of an Angel. But under the angel is a devil that has broken through and ruined his look. He wasn't the same Harry I had fallen for. This was a different Harry.
"Harry I don't want you coming into my room." He looked confused. He just nodded before stepping closer to me. I would have stepped back but there was some weights behind me. I let him come closer. Before I could dart out the way, he brought his lips to mine. At first I closed my eyes and kissed him back. I kissed him back urgently. Then I had a mental image. Of him and her. It wasn't a good one. My eyes started to sting with tears. I raised my hands to his chest, still kissing him. No matter how hard I would try I couldn't stop kissing his gorgeous face. Finally I knew I had to take action, I pushed his chest and slid from under him. I dodged his grip and jogged to the door. I ran through the house and up the stairs, the tears starting to flow. I slammed my door shut and sank to the floor. I knew when I first kissed him that this would end by somebody getting hurt. I just wished that hadn't of been me.
I wiped away the tears that had fallen from my face. I got up from my position on the floor, resting against my door. I thrust open the door and walked down the white corridor. I reached the door at the end, the one I knew was risky. I knocked on the door and waited till I heard someone grunt and plod towards the door. The door opened a crack and someone groaned.
"Who is it?" I breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't Harry.
"It's Iv, can I come in Louis?" I asked him. He brightened up.
"Yeah course you can." He swung the door open so I could step in. I took a shaky step in and dodged any of the shit on the floor. I dived on the bed and sat on it with my legs crossed. Louis shut the door and bounced over to me.
"What's up?" He asked cheerfully and sat down next to me, he took in my messy hair and my red puffy eyes. My crumpled clothes and the non-existent smile on my face. "What's happened Iv?" He asked as he wound his arm around my shoulder.
"It's nothing I'm overreacting!" I tried to cover up the real reason I was here. He knew about me and Harry but I feel like bringing up the subject even though Louis is the best person to talk to.
"No it's not Iv! What ever it is it's obviously eating away at you." I took a deep shaky breath as the tears threatened to take over. I had to tell him, I had to vent my feelings. I closed me eyes, squishing them together before opening them wide.
"It's Harry…" I eventually got out. He looked right into my eyes.
"What has he done Iv?" He asked me, I just shook my head.
"Nothing, nothing I am overreacting." He looked at me and something flashed across his face.
"What. Has. He. Done? Ivory please tell me."
"He cheated on me." There. I got it out. I had told someone. Now Louis was going to think I was a little controlling seeing as we weren't even going out.
"Oh…Ivory I'm so sorry." He pulled me into a warm huge, the hot tears flowing down my face. My whole body shook with the tears.
"Oh I'm such a saddo." He smoothed my back down.
"No you're not. I would be pretty cut up if Hannah cheated on me." I clutched onto his t-shirt. "Does Harry know you know?" He asked me.
"No I ran away. I haven't confronted him yet."
"Would you like me to have a word with him?" I shook my head.
"No there is no point it won't change anything. I will talk to him when the time is right." He nodded at me.
"Okay then. I'm here of you need me." I kissed his cheek and got up. I reached the door and was about to open it when I turned around.
"Thanks Louis." He smiled at me and I walked out the door. I slipped down the hall and back into my room. I grabbed my book and delved deep into the story, losing myself in their perfect world