Valyn was back in the dungeons before she realized where she was going. She rounded the stone wall and, murmuring the recently changed password (Exploding Dungeons) and slinking into a chair, mind and heart racing.
"Hey, Val," It was Reg, who was beside her; she hadn't even noticed him. He seemed to be in a very foul mood.
Well, so was she. "Your brother keeps kissing me, damnit," She said. "He hates me, but he won't stop. It's confusing."
Regulus looked at her sharply, eyes calculated, and for a moment she regretted telling him. After all. she didn't know him, and if Sirius was a dick to all his friends-
But he laughed, and looked down at his folded hands. "Yeah, he's... Diconcerting."
Valyn gave a snort at the fancy vocabulary, before realizing that she, too, was fond of ridiculously uncommon, unneccessary adjectives. "He's absolutely vexatious. Positively exasperating. Incredibly maddening."
It was the boy's turn to chuckle at her words. "Sounds like you're made for each other," He said in a decidedly mild tone.
"Are you two close?" Valyn asked, deciding not to rise to his comment.
"Oh, no. We used to be, before Hogwarts, though." Regulus gave a smile.
He had the exact same face as Sirius, though the way he wore it was entirely different. His smiles were small, guarded and tense, albeit cordial, whereas Sirius wore giant, arrogant, fiery grins. Like she'd thought before- if Regulus were a prince, Sirius was the devil. Unfortunately for Valyn, she'd always been much more infatuated with evil than royalty.
Regulus' hair was wet, presumably from a shower, if the fresh, brisk scent wafting from him meant anything. The short-ish hair was drying, though, and it fell into his face. His eyes held a wicked intelligence in them and Valyn thought that he may be a prince, but he couldn't be too noble a prince. She wondered briefly if it was environmental.
"What is Elvendork?" Valyn asked, and Regulus gave a loud, honest laugh, one that held a whisper of Sirius' playful demeanor with James.
"Elvendork is Sirius' motorbike," Regulus said, grinning. "He got it from Potter's dad for his sixteenth birthday, and not a month later, he left."
"Left?" Valyn asked, studying the slightly younger Slytherin's face, which was sobering.
"Sirius ran away last year, a bit after his birthday. Lives with Potter, I do believe." Valyn folded her legs, one on top of the other; not quite Indian style, it was actually a yoga position.
"May I ask why?" Valyn asked quietly. Regulus cleared his throat.
"Well, believe me when I say I am not the one to speak for Sirius Black, but.." Regulus sighed and smiled in a resigned fashion. "Let's take a walk, Val."
They walked out of the common room and through the dungeons, Valyn's companion assuring her they wouldn't get lost.
"Sirius was our father's golden child when we were younger; he was their heir, and I was the spare. Mother doted on us both equally, but I believe saying father was partial to Sirius is an understatement. We were close, though; we have compatible personalities. He's big and bold and playful and mischevious, and I'm mild and observant and I enjoy seeing others enjoy themselves," Regulus gave a smile, far away smile, reminiscing. "I was his baby brother, and he was my best friend. But he's about ten months older than me, and he went to Hogwarts first. When he got Sorted into Gryffindor..." Regulus looked down, somber. "It didn't chang that he was the heir, but Mother was livid. She began to favor me, and whatever happened, when he came back that Christmas he was not the brother I remembered. He was... Distant. Cool, if you will. I thought it was being a Gryffindor... I thought it changed him. He was cruel when I got Slytherin the following year, and he progressively got worse, standing up for blood equality and the like. Things like that didn't bother me; I'm not a supremiscist, you see. But he's gotten so irksome; he'd do things for the sole purpose of angering our parents. Our mother was enfuriated- she swears she hates him. Their relationship went from average, over-spoiling mother and the son who'd shrug her off to a wicked, evil woman and some self-righteous fool. It wasn't until he started going on about loving a male werewolf that she started..." Regulus cleared his throat. "My father had had enough of it. Said Sirius was no heir of his; I became the favorite of both of my parents. Sirius got even closer to Potter, and started visiting them over the holidays instead of m- us. Me and Sirius continued to drift apart, as he's been an outright maggot to my mates. Then, during the winter holidays, he came home, loaded up what he wanted from our house, and flew to the Potter's on his massive enchanted Elvendork. Refuses to speak to me, too, what little I've tried. Mother mailed him the emancipation and disowning malarkey, and she burned him off the family tree." Regulus sighed.
"I... I'm sorry, Regulus." Valyn whispered, he looked at her for a long time, and she didn't break eye contact. Suddenly he stopped and faced her, and for thirty seconds, she watched as the walls, restraints, and decorum slowly faded from his eyes.
"Our mother is insane. She was amazing to us one moment and would jinx us the next. Her favorite curse was the Cruciatus."
Valyn froze, looking at him. "Sirius doesn't like love. he's not fond of niceties, or companionship, and he isn't used to it, either. I don't know what he accepts from the Potters or the Marauders, but from anyone else, he accepts nothing, Valyn. Don't get attatched to him. Don't fall in love- you'd do yourself best by forgetting about him entirely."
The blonde looked into the brunet's eyes, green and vibrant with stunning patterns visible with her close proximity, which were filled with some feeling Valyn was pretty sure did not have a name. She breathed out her mouth something like a long, drawn out, silent sigh, shaky and visible in the dungeon chill.
"I don't know what love is, really," she said quietly. "But I do believe I feel every emotion in the world for Sirius Black, all at once."
Regulus looked at her for a long time, his seemly composure rebuilding inside his eyes. "That's very unfortunate for you, Valyn. You'd do well to stay away from black cats, white lighters, and ladders- they're bad luck."
Valyn got a brilliant smile. "I only use white lighters," she said, knowing exactly what he was referring to.
"That's your problem, Val," Regulus joked. "Now Sirius will never love you."
Valyn laughed brightly, and they turned around.
"I've tried to kill myself three times," Valyn said, and Regulus' head swivelled to look at her, but said nothing.
Feelings surged throughout the girl, and she looked to the side and down, giving a small smile. When Regulus found that she would not indulge more, he asked in a very quiet, gentle tone, "Why?"
"My mother died giving birth to me. The first thing I ever did was kill," she said, feeling the tears prickle her eyes. "And it ruined my father. He loved me dearly with what little heart he had, but he... He would go insane, I guess. Grow cold and distant and cruel, and he'd leave me alone in the woods for weeks. Sometimes, I was his perfect little princess, and others, I was the devil who killed the only person who'd never rejected him." Valyn was crying now, and Regulus stepped in front of her. She let him wipe her tears away and pull her forehead onto his shoulder. "And I couldn't handle it. I am a weak, weak person. The forst time, I was eleven, and I tried to use the Killing Curse on myself. My dad made me kneel on pine cones and screamed at me that the next time I wanted to die, he'd gladly assist. The second, I was fourteen, and my dad was crying because he'd nearly thrown me into a dragon pen on purpose. I tried to cut myself but my hand... It wouldn't cut deep enough no matter how hard I willed it to. And the third was..." Valyn wrapped her arms around Regulus' shoulders, which was easy, since they were the same height. "I magicked myself to be tied to a traintrack, and waited. My father found out, but his magic... It doesn't always work, ever since I killed mum. He untied me but his stupid boot got caught. We would've barely made it, but he- he lost his leg, and I was panicking, and I didn't get help because I was too stupid to-"
"Shhh," Regulus said as Valyn became hysterical. She could see it all happening again...
It was the middle of the night and Valyn couldn't take it anymore. She's scratched through the skin in her arms again and stalked out to the railroad tracks, barefoot and in her nightdress, her hair a mess. Her eyes were wild, practically unseeing, and she could hear her parents whispering; You killed me, her mother accused. You stole my life and left your father stuck with you, a rude and useless ingrate. You've driven him insane! He's nothing now, just like you.
Did you mean to do it? Her father was asking cruelly. Did you mean to wrench the life from her beautiful eyes? I bet you did; you're evil. But even if you didn't it doesnt change the fact that you're repulsive, nasty, and worthless. I'll be much, much better without you- maybe even happy. Don't you love me, Valyn? Don't you want me to be happy?
Yes, Valyn thought. It was the only thing she wanted...
But that was a lie. She was a selfish, evil little girl, and the only good she could possibly do was rid the world of herself. She sped up and pulled out a wand made from Slytherin's tree; the tree that grew from Salazar Slytherin's wand, her ancestor. She used the Incarcerous spell to tie herself to the tracks.
The train was coming, and Valyn was numb, listening to her parents ridicule and belittle her. She was crying as she lay there, though she did not utter a peep nor move a muscle in her face. Her finger nails, too long for her own good, were digging into the soft flesh of her palm, and she felt blood drip.
She could feel vibrations from the oncoming train by the time her father found her, frantic and near tears himself.
"Valyn!" He cried out loudly, panic in his handsome voice. His accent came out whenever he felt something wtrong, or was drunk. He was both that night.
He tried to use magic to get her out, but it simply wasn't working, so he feverishly worked at the thick rope until she was free. Valyn didn't move at all, and barely noticed that she was being removed until her father tried to pick her up.
"No!" she shreiked in the voice of a deranged woman. The train was too close to stop now, and if it did, it would only kill her slower- if they were even seen in the black abyss of the moonless night. "No, I have to die, I have to make you happy-" she babbled, fighting her father with bloody fists.
He was strong, but so was she, and it took him a hot minute to flig her out of the train's way. The buckle of his brown leather boot caught- and the train was so close-
Logic broke through her catatonic self-hatred, and she dove for her father, but his magic prevailed and he sent her flying.
She shot towards her father again, the night blocking the details of the loss of both of his legs.
"Daddy!" she shrieked so loudly that the Heavens shook. She dragged him away from the train, weeping. "It's all my fault," she gasped. "It's all my fault, all my fault, all my fault again-"
"Princess," he muttered. Had the bloodloss and intoxication not been unravelling his train of thought, he'd have told her to call someone, but he just touched her face. "It's not your fault. I love you,"
"You shouldn't," She sputtered, and moved to push on the wounds before the smell hit; she wrenched away and vomitted.
"Daddy don't leave me," Valyn grunted when she turned back.
Her father bled out in minutes.
When she stopped remembering, she was in someone's arms, being carried bridal style. She opened her eyes to see Regulus, who was carrying her into the common room.
He set her on an empty couch when he noticed she'd woken up.
"What happened to her?" Bella said from somewhere over the back of the couch, voice surprisingly concerned.
"We've all got demons, even little miss perfect," Regulus said, sitting in a chair by the couch. "Valyn graced me with the opportunity to see a few of hers."
"I don't have any others," croaked the sleepy girl. It probably wasn't even dinner. She didn't know much besides the dream, and the walk she'd gone on with Regulus, and their talk...
But Andy jumped the back of the couch and sat in front of Valyn's legs. Things were coming back.
"What is it, four?"
"Just about five," Andy corrected. Valyn nodded and turned onto her side.
"What demons?" Bella asked, peeking over the back of the couch. Curls fell into Valyn's face.
"I killed both my parents."
"You did not," Regulus and Lucius said simultaneously.
"She seems vicious enough, with her pretty blonde hair and pretty voice," Bella said, feeling Valyn's forehead. "You're warm."
"I'm smokin' hot," corrected Valyn, and Andy laughed.
"Seriosuly, the dungeons are freezing. How-?"
"Overactive blood flow." Valyn said without the slightest clue as to what that was.
"Yeah, and I've got dragon pox," Bella said with a frown.
"Should probably get that checked out," Valyn informed her, running fingers through Bella's hair.
"You're a pest,"
"A surprisingly enjoyable one, though," said Valyn with a smile. Her friends laughed.