Disclaimer: I do not own Spenser, Hawk, Susan or any of the other characters created by Robert B. Parker.
Rating: PG-13 for now. May go up in later chapters for violence and a bit of sexual content.
Warning: This fic contains slash, meaning a physical relationship between two male characters, namely Hawk and Spenser. (Hence the title.) If this squicks you please turn back now before you get upset. Will contain violence and a bit of Het in the first few chapters as well.
A Sharp Chopping Knife
The month between Susan's departure to Florida was the darkest time of my life. She got out of the hospital two days after our last conversation, and when I came home that Wednesday I noticed all of her things were gone.
It was if she had never been there at all. Over ten odd years all gone in one afternoon, without my input or permission. Up until then, I had kept the hope that Susan would change her mind and stay. That was obviously not to be, it merely took a large beating about the head to make me realize it.
I sat on the couch in my living room holding an old picture of us during happier times when we first met. That morning I saw Susan off to the airport without her knowledge. I'm pretty good with the covert stuff when I want to be after all.
I watched as she boarded the plan without so much as looking back. I only moved from my stupor when my stomach began growling in complaint. So it was that Hawk found me in my kitchen an hour later, Patsy Cline blaring in the background, as I began chopping vegetables for a soup.
The simple chopping became an exercise in anger management however, by the time Hawk arrived. I was slamming the knife down repeatedly while cursing up a storm. I must have made quite a sight, my hair and clothing all askew and completely enraged. Normally I'm an even-tempered kind of guy, but at that particular moment in time, I was as far from calm as it is possible to be.
Hawk stepped up to the counter and grabbed four stalks of celery and a blade and began to expertly dice them, all without a word. I was thankful for both his presence and his restraint.
"Soup?" He asked after a while, now chopping slices of carrots.
"Soup." I answered in between bringing the knife down on the cutting board. "Can you believe that she didn't even say goodbye? She just up and leaves, after all the time we were together. Don't I even warrant the consideration of a conversation after all those years?"
"Uh huh."
"I mean she knew what kind of life I lived before we got together. Now all of a sudden she's surprised?"
"Usually she doesn't get up close with the danger." Hawk pointed out logically.
"I know that." I agreed, quieting somewhat when I remembered how badly she looked when we rescued her. "But the Gioletti's are all on their way to prison for a long time so there is no reason for her to worry."
"Perhaps."
"You know I would have quit if she asked me to." I told him brokenly as I put the water on to boil. "But she didn't ask."
"Being a private detective is not just your livelihood, but your passion as well. Susan knew that, she would never have asked you to give that up."
"But what if I wanted to?" I asked petulantly.
"Did you, then?"