A/N - Hello everyone, I'm back again...in desperate need of ideas. Just thought I should mention that.
WARNING: Do not read if you suffer from reallybadhaikuaphobia (the fear of haikus written by Apollo.)
Apollo Enters a Poetry Competition: Apollo, god of poetry, has entered a mortal poetry competition.
Artemis: Oh, no.
Apollo: Oh yes, little sis.
Man, I like haikus
They are the best poetry
They are so awesome
Artemis: You can't be serious, Apollo.
Apollo: Can you guess what kind of poem I'm going to be doing? Can you? I dare you to guess!
Artemis: Gee, let me think. Oh, I know! You're doing a haiku! Surprise, surprise.
Apollo: Wow. *Scratches chin* Was it really that obvious?
Artemis: Yeah, it was.
Apollo: Really?
What gave it away?
Really, was it obvious?
I do not think so
Athena: You've been spouting haikus for the last century or so.
Artemis: Really, really bad haikus.
Athena: Yeah. And, you just did one. Two, now.
Apollo: Yeah, but surely it wasn't that obvious.
Artemis: It was. But nobody ever expected much from you, brother, so it doesn't really matter.
Apollo: Hey!
Artemis: It's true. There's a reason you're the god of wisdom.
Zeus: However much I agree, Artemis, I think that this article was not chosen for discussion so you could make fun of Apollo.
Percy Jackson: Wow, you sound like an adult reprimanding little kids.
Zeus: Jackson...shut up before I give you a taste of my master bolt.
Artemis: You'd better watch it, boy, or I'll turn you into a jackalope.
Hephaestus: Which you do not want.
Percy Jackson: Sorry, sorry! And...wait, Hephaestus, you've been turned into a jackalope?
Hephaestus: Um, yeah, I have...
Percy Jackson: Uh...okay.
Ares: You see, you should have killed him while you had the chance, Mars.
Zeus: Mars?
Ares: At Camp Jupiter.
Zeus: What?
Ares: Oh, I suppose it makes sense that I know more about his comings and goings, even though you're Zeus...
Zeus: What are you talking about?
Ares: *Sighs* Mars. Mars. Know who I mean?
Zeus: Oh. Oh.
Ares: He's not here right now. He's overseeing that little demigod fight at Camp Jupiter.
Zeus: I wish it was Camp Zeus.
Athena: They're Roman, so no. And unfortunately, the Romans are out there.
Zeus: Yeah. I hated having split personalities. I'm glad we're separated from those Romans.
Athena: For now we are. Sooner or later, we will come together again. It is inevitable.
Zeus: Thanks for those positive words, Athena.
Athena: I'm a realist. I don't ignore threats.
Apollo: Just practicing here, okay?
Those Romans are cool
They too call me Apollo
But no haikus there
Artemis: A pathetic attempt at a haiku.
Apollo: That's mean.
It was mostly good
Maybe the third line was bad
You can do better?
Artemis: Well, I don't pretend to be good at them.
Apollo, you're bad
Haikus, wisdom, so much more
Some poetry god
Athena: Well, it was better than his.
Zeus: Yeah, it was.
Hermes: Hehe, I like the last line. And I agree.
Hephaestus: Definitely better than his.
Ares: Yeah. Whatever.
Poseidon: Because Athena doesn't like Apollo's, I think it's better.
Demeter: Artemis's is better.
Athena: So, six people prefer Artemis's haiku, and one prefers Apollo's.
Apollo: Aw, come on...
Poseidon is cool
Because he likes my haiku
But I am cooler
Artemis: I could compose another haiku, but I'm going to just say what we're all thinking: that was a really bad haiku.
Poseidon: It was good, but the last line...
Apollo: Is true.
Poseidon: Is a lie.
Apollo: It's the truth, Poseidon.
Poseidon: If today's opposite day, then yeah.
Apollo: Όχι έτσι, ψάρια λόρδος (Not so, fish lord)
Poseidon: Ψάρια λόρδος? Είστε μια ποίηση έκτρωμα (Fish lord? You're a poetry freak)
Apollo: Whatever.
Ποσειδών, ο λόρδος ψαριών (Poseidon, fish lord)
Κάλεσε εμένα μια ποίηση έκτρωμα (Called me a poetry freak)
Ο ίδιος δεν είναι εκπληκτική (He is not awesome)
Percy Jackson: Um, guys, all this Ancient Greek is making my head hurt. Can we stick to English?
Athena: You're a demigod. You can understand Ancient Greek.
Percy Jackson: Even with the auto translate thing in my head it gives me headache.
Apollo: Hmm. Thinking, thinking...
Most demigods can
Understand Ancient Greek but
Percy Jackson can't.
Percy Jackson: I can understand it, Apollo.
Apollo: But you just said...
Percy Jackson: I said it gives me a headache.
Apollo: Fine.
Percy Jackson can
Understand Ancient Greek but
It gives him a headache
Artemis: The last line was six syllables.
Apollo: Was it? It-gives-him-a-head-ache. Yeah, it is...I've got it! It gives him headaches. Ah, yes, good. I think I'll win.
Hermes: Yeah, like you won't do something if you don't.
Apollo: Good point.
If I do not win
My next poetry contest
I'll get super mad.
Hermes: Of course you will.
Artemis: Yeah. Men are so unreasonable.
Apollo: Hey, you turn men into jackalopes at will!
Hephaestus: *Shudders*
Artemis: They always ask for it.
Apollo: They do?
Why would someone want
To become a jackalope
That would be so wierd.
Athena: Apollo, "weird" is spelled w-e-i-r-d, not w-i-e-r-d.
Apollo: What?
Athena: The "I" comes before the "E".
Apollo: Wait, I thought it was always I before E, but not after C. And W isn't C.
Athena: *Sighs* "Weird" is an exception.
Apollo: Um...okay.
I comes before E
Except after W
Weird's an exception
Athena: No, you thick-headed idiot. I comes before E, but not after C, and "weird" is an exception to that rule.
Apollo: Oh, I get it now.
I comes before C
Except after E
Weird follows this rule
Athena: No!
Apollo: Oh, wait, it's...oh, I give up, I don't care.
Hermes: Okay, Hephaestus, can we end this before we have to hear any more haikus?
Hephaestus: Yeah, good idea. Good luck on your poetry contest thing, Apollo, and cool off by next week.
A/N - I hope everyone liked this chapter. So, any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Anything that comes to mind, any random related thought. Thank you!