Spencer's words had been like a punch to her gut, and though she hadn't meant to start crying, she still ended up in tears, swiping them away before Hotch could comment. He did caress her shoulder as she brushed past him, and that was enough to comfort her as she made her way to the bathroom.

JJ had spent the rest of the case glued to Rossi or Emily's side, not wanting to lose sight of them, since for some reason they made her feel safe. A small part of her had wanted to seek out Hotch, but that same damn stumbling block stood in her path once more, keeping her from his side. Though she couldn't place the reason why she was now feeling vaguely uneasy when around him alone, she knew that the feeling was there, much though she didn't want it. And that troubled her more than she was willing to let on.

And so, she once more trudged up to her bedroom, and shrugged off her clothes and, having successfully closed the case, tried to remove the lingering tentacles of fear and horror that had wrapped around her heart. This time, she was not so lucky at not disturbing Will, and he woke up to smile at her. JJ went to smile back when she noticed a flicker of irritation that was gone in a flash, and instead she shrugged a bit before sliding beneath the covers.

"I take it that was a bad case," he said lowly, and she nodded. "Then again, you don't ever seem to catch any easy ones."

"No, we don't. Sorry I'm later than I expected. Hotch wanted us to do a team building exercise over at Rossi's after this case. Reid is not adjusting to Emily's return, and I think that it has us all worried."

"The man doesn't like secrets being kept from him. I can't say as I blame him, Jen," her lover replied, his voice sounding strained and harsh to her ears. JJ frowned a little as she made herself comfortable on the bed, turning on her side so that she wouldn't have to face him. "I know that you did what you had to do to protect Emily, but there are just some things that a person can't reconcile, and that is one of them."

"I suppose," she muttered, suddenly feeling exhausted beyond belief. "We'll talk about this more in the morning."

Will muttered something in reply, but by that point, JJ was well on her way to sleep, and unable to comprehend the words he said. Her dreams started out benignly enough before turning into the nightmares that she only seemed to have at home. This time, she dreamt that her daughter was learning to turn over already, advanced for her age, but JJ knew that that was from the combination of her and Hotch's DNA. And then, a faceless woman swooped in and picked her up, spiriting her away.

JJ woke up screaming for her baby, and she barely registered Will's hand on her shoulder, pushing her back down on the mattress as he covered her mouth with his free hand. "Be quiet! You'll wake up Henry!"

"But she has my baby!" she sobbed out, turning to her partner and wrapping her arms around his waist, holding tightly to him as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Why did she take my baby?"

"Your baby died, Jen. Don't you remember? You were in that attack in Afghanistan, and there was nothing that they could do for you. Remember?"

As his words settled beneath her skin, she nodded. Still, she trembled as she thought about the nightmare. It had been so real, and she so wanted the hope of having a child out there, somewhere, that she might one day find, rather than thinking of her baby's life slipping away from her as she tried to recover from the explosion. "I do, I just, there are times when I don't want it to be true. Where I want this to be the nightmare, and I wake up, holding her close to my breast as we take care of Henry."

"We can always try again, cher," he said soothingly, and she shrugged a bit. "What? Am I not good enough for you?"

The quick anger in his voice took her aback, and she shook her head rapidly. "It's not that, I'm just not certain that I want to try and have another baby so soon after losing this one. A part of me doesn't even know if I want another child. I don't want to take the chance of failing again. We could always adopt, you know."

It was his turn to shake his head, and JJ tried not to get upset at the coldness in his eyes. "No, I want another baby of our own someday, when you've forgotten the pain of this miscarriage. I know that it won't be today, but we're together for the long haul, so soon, we'll have another child."

As he spoke, his grip on her shoulder tightened until she was hissing in pain as she wriggled it free. "I suppose," she whispered before turning around to face the wall again. A small part of her ached to know that they were not on the same page any longer when it came to their relationship, and she yearned to make things right between them.

"And, I want our second child to be born under the covenant of our marriage. I don't like the fact that Henry came before we were married. That's not the way I was raised."

She bristled at his outdated belief system, just as she had bristled under that same, smug, surety when he had come to New York and demanded she go on immediate desk duty. There was no arguing with him, though, when he got like this, the best she could do was mollify him. "We'll have to see when a good time to get married will be. I'm not ready right now."

"I'm not sure you ever will be," he muttered as he let go of her completely, turning away from her to face the bedroom door. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay." JJ listened to the way his breathing quickly evened out once more, sleep seeming to come much more quickly to him than it did to her, and sighed deeply when he was fully under. She was seeing a side to him that she didn't really like, and she wondered if it would always be like this in their relationship. If so, it may have been a blessing in disguise, losing that baby, since the knowledge of its parentage would likely be a stumbling block between the two of them for years to come.

Groaning a little, JJ slipped from bed and padded over to the bathroom, peeing quickly before taking a swig of water and trying to wash the taste of almonds from her mouth. She didn't know when she had come to associate their bitter taste with her nightmares, but it was a habitual occurrence that never failed to upset her, since she wasn't certain how the two things had become conflated in her brain, since she was fairly certain she hadn't eaten anything containing almond when she had been over at Rossi's with the team.

Shaking her head a little at her reflection, JJ swiped a damp washcloth across her face before heading back to bed and crawling in beside Will once more, trying to find the peace of sleep that seemed intent on eluding her that evening.