Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT.

Words are said, but not the right ones to the right people

Raphael pulled into the lair as the first rays of sunlight broke over the horizon. He couldn't really remember the journey, it's like he had been lost in a void. All he could think about was Leonardo. His long lost brother. The brother he had found. Also...

What was he going to tell his family?

He pulled down the motorbike leg and paused. What was he going to tell them? How do you tell your family you found their long lost brother? Their son?

And then he thought about something Leonardo had said.

"Didn't you hear to me? I don't remember you. I don't remember them. I don't know who you are, I don't even know if I can trust you. I wasn't ready for this!"

Maybe he shouldn't tell them? Give Leonardo some time to get to know Raphael, to trust him. Explain what actually happened on the bridge, the full story. The thought went around and around his head and after sitting for ten minutes, he was still no closer to an answer.

Something will come to me, he thought, as he got into the Utron elevator.

Below ground, Raphael could hear low voices coming from the kitchen. Michelangelo and Donatello were talking at the table.

"Where's Master Splinter?" he said as way of greeting, taking a seat. His voice was calmer than he expected.

"Still in bed," Donatello said, glancing up at him. Like April, his relationship with his brother was still a little rocky after punching him those weeks before. "He isn't feeling well."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"If we don't push him with needless worry, he should be fine."

Donatello didn't need to be specific; Raphael knew he was talking about him. Before he could reply, Donatello narrowed his eyes and said: "Where were you last night? I called April and she said you were 'out'?"

Raphael's mouth went dry.

Now isn't the time, now isn't the time, now isn't the time.

"I was out."

Donatello shook his head and turned his eyes to the newspaper in front of him. Raphael ignored Mikey who watched him for a moment before turning away as well.

I'll tell them tomorrow, he told himself as he reached for the cereal.

Tomorrow never came. There was always a reason.

He didn't tell them the next day because Master Splinter was still unwell. The day after was the first day Master Splinter joined them for morning practise, and he did not want to put too much pressure on him. The day after, he'd already not said anything for a few days so why bother them? Anyway, he was seeing Leonardo that night and he was worried they'd want to come, which would definitely be in violation of his brothers desire not to be 'pushed'. Maybe he could convince Leonardo to come home and he wouldn't have to tell them anyway.

Yeah, that seemed like a good idea.

April was another problem. What to tell her? She'd been texting him to know what happened. Initially Raphael thought he'd lie and say he hadn't found Leonardo, but what if his brother called the shop? He had to tell her, but he worried what she would do with this information. He went to visit her the evening after he returned, and after telling her what happened, she started pressuring him to tell his family.

"You haven't told them?" she said, surprise evident on her face. "You have to! They deserve to know."

Raphael instantly regretted telling her. She pushed and pushed until he snapped.

"Look, you said it yourself; if we push him, he'll run," he snarled. "He doesn't remember anything. He doesn't want to meet them. If I can have some time with him, maybe I can help him remember. I can bring him home."

In the end, April begrudgingly agreed to keep quiet. He left promising to keep her in the loop while also promising himself he'd pass on as little information as possible.

She'll just complicate things. He told himself as he hurried back to the lair, ignoring the voice that also said without April, he wouldn't have found Leonardo in the first place. He found it was easier to bury that voice. He had enough troubles.

It was hard fighting the urge to ring his brother. He knew the landline number and had been on the verge of calling more than once, just to hear his voice, but each time he stopped himself.

What if Leonardo tells me not to come back? he thought to himself; at breakfast, during training, while attempting to watch television in the hope it would make time somehow hurry up. It was that fear that stopped him.

Finally, Thursday arrived.

The sun had barely dipped below the horizon when Raphael was on his bike and zipping through New York's traffic. With a sense of purpose and a burning desire to make sure he had not dreamt the previous trip, he broke the speed limit the whole way. Before long, and definitely way before the estimated arrival time, he was parking his motorbike again in the undergrowth.

He looked up at the house. It wasn't that late yet most of the lights in the house were off.

What if I imagined the last meeting? he thought, suddenly unsure of whether he should be going into the house again. What if Leonardo isn't there?

He shoved that voice down, and was finally reassured when he'd crept around to the back of the house and saw a light on in the attic.

He took out his sai at the back door and found it unlocked again. He gritted his teeth and decided he had to have a word with Leonardo. It wasn't safe to have an unlocked door and he locked it as soon as he was inside.

He made his way into the house proper, listening for any noise. Not hearing anything, he made his way up the staircase and into the bedroom, where he found the collapsible attic ladder already down. It was here he first heard voices; two of them. One he recognised as his brother, but he didn't know the other and an unexpected wave of hot anger crashed over him. Gripping the ladder harder than required, he pulled himself up into the attic with a loud grunt.

The voices stopped. Raphael waited a moment before he picked his way through the chaos to the edge of the space where Leonardo was. He breathed in, waited a moment, and then stepped into the light.

Raphael felt his hands instinctively move towards his sai. Leonardo sat on his bed but he wasn't alone. His companion was the adult male he'd seem the time before, and the name 'Cody' slowly drifted around Raphael's head. Cody the 'friend'. Cody the 'human'. Cody sat ridged in the other camp chair; his eyes wide. Even from here, Raphael could see his hands shaking. But he wasn't looking at Raphael; he was focused on the sai. Raphael knew Cody wasn't a threat but he twisted his sai, letting the light bounce off their edge. The other human seemed to shrink back, as of trying to somehow disappear into the camp chair.

Raphael smirked and then turned to Leonardo, only to find his brother looking furious. He dropped his hands from his weapons.

Leonardo turned from Raphael to the human.

"Cody, this is Raphael, the turtle I told you about."

That stung more than Raphael expected. He took a step forward and said: "I'm his brother."

"Apparently," Leonardo muttered.

Raphael clenched his fists, but then made himself relax.

Don't rush this, he told himself. Don't push him. Patience…

He breathed out.

"The backdoor was open – again," he growled.

Cody cleared his voice.

"Ryan said you were coming. I didn't want you to have to pick the lock."

It took Raphael a moment to figure out who Ryan was.

"His name is Leonardo."

Cody went bright red. He looked from Leonardo to Raphael and back again.

"Shall, shall I get you some water?"

"Got any beer?"

He wasn't surprised when Cody shook his head, but Raphael saw a chance to get rid of him for a while.

"Water's fine. Tap water from the kitchen would be great."

Cody quickly got up as if glad to leave the room. Raphael followed him with his eyes until he disappeared down the ladder, before turning back to Leonardo. His brother was glaring at him.

Raphael was struck by a wave of memories. How many times had Leonardo glared at him from across the Dojo, the breakfast table, the couch, the room, the rooftop? And three years later, it was still the same look. How he had missed that look. How he had missed his brother.

He blinked and realised he'd missed what Leonardo said.

"What?"

"What. Is. Your. Problem?"

Raphael walked over and took Cody's chair.

"Nothin'"

Leonardo narrowed his eyes.

"Don't be rude to Cody. If you're going to be a jerk, you can leave."

A sick feeling washed over him, and Raphael realised he had to change tactic. He didn't know how far he could push Leonardo and what he would need to do to actually get Leonardo to kick him out? Leonardo couldn't physically make him leave, but that wouldn't stop Leo refusing to see him.

Or he could disappear again without a trace? Raphael thought as panic seized him. He decided to behave.

"How've you been?"

"Fine."

"Remembered anything?"

"No."

Silence.

"Have you been trying?" was on the tip of his tongue when Cody reappeared.

"I got you water but then I remembered we had some soda in the fridge. Do you like soda? I wasn't sure. I don't mind soda. Ryan, sorry, Leonardo, umm, anyway, isn't a fan and I didn't want to bother you again to ask so I just brought one of everything we had."

He held out what had apparently been a full glass of water but was now half empty, and then cradled awkwardly in his other arm were three different cans of soda.

Raphael blinked. He had never met a human so socially inept and lacking in confidence? This human stood in his own house, sweating and babbling at a complete stranger. April was strong and confident. Casey was usually confident, though he would get tongue-tied when he first met April. He didn't know whether to pity Cody or laugh, but then he caught sight of Leonardo watching him closely.

He knew if he didn't pick his words carefully, the next words out of Leonardo's mouth would be telling him to leave. He had to think fast.

Raphael smiled widely and said "Thanks"; grabbing the glass of water and two soda cans, immediately popping the lid on one of them.

Try and kick me out now, he thought, taking a small sip. It would be rude to kick someone out who hadn't finished their drink. And I'm going to take all night.

xxx

Raphael couldn't fault Cody, he was a gracious host. Cody disappeared again and returned with slices of pound cake. When that was finished, out came the biscuits and Cody kept refilling his water glass. Before long, Raphael had to ask for the bathroom.

After he was done, he was about to go back up to the attic when he heard the soft murmur of voices overhead. He stole up the ladder and waited quietly behind the door. He could just hear the end of a conversation.

"He's so rude. How can we be related?"

"He's probably just reacting the only way he knows."

"By being a jerk?"

"Maybe."

They were silent for a moment.

"How do you feel?"

"Okay. I don't feel sick anymore."

Sick? Raphael thought, worry blossoming in his chest.

"Maybe you should tell him how it affects you when he asks questions? If he knew, he mightn't push. I don't think he'd want you to suffer."

"No. I don't trust him. I think it might be easier to just ask him to go. A-And not come back for a while."

Raphael froze. Asking questions was making Leonardo feel sick? He'd never have known if he hadn't heard.

"No. I don't trust him. I think it might be easier to just ask him to go. A-And not come back for a while."

Now it was Raphael's turn to feel sick. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want his brother to suffer either.

Raphael almost missed Cody's reply.

"Give him another chance," Cody said gently. "From what you told me, he searched for you for years. And now he's finally found you, maybe it's not the happy ending he was expecting. It's probably hard on him too, and he mightn't know how to react."

Raphael drew away. He suddenly had a completely new appreciation for Cody. He would back off from the human's case, until at least Leonardo trusted him.

So they didn't think he'd been listening, he crept back down the stairs and shut the bathroom door loudly. He made his way back to the attic. Time for a new tactic and he'd spotted it before he left.

"Who wants to play Call of Duty?"

xxx

Raphael stayed as long as he could, but knew he would soon run the risk of still being on the streets when the sun rose. Cody had long ago fallen asleep on the bed. In the silence, few words had passed between his brother and him as their players raced around the screen, but it was almost comfortable. Finally, Raphael's character died and he knew with a sinking heart it was time to go.

He put the controller down and stretched.

"Good game," he said, slowly getting to his feet. "I almost had you a few times."

Leonardo flashed him a rare grin.

"I've had a lot of practise."

Raphael moved over to where he'd dumped his jacket earlier in the night.

"Can I come back in a few days," he said over his shoulder. He didn't want Leonardo to see how desperate he was to hear him say he could. He fiddled with his jacket for a moment before turning.

Leonardo was watching him. Raphael knew he was sizing him up and he was flooded with relief when his brother finally nodded.

"I brought you this," Raphael said, walking over to his brother and giving him a Shell Cell.

Leonardo turned it over in his hands.

"What is it?" he asked. He clicked a button and it opened.

"It's a phone," Raphael said. "Donatello made them for us a few years ago. This is an old version and pretty basic, but it works."

Leonardo looked up at him with a surprised look. Raphael shrugged.

"Donatello's a genius."

It was an early prototype, the battery life wasn't great, it couldn't make calls only send texts, and it could only hold a few numbers which were scrambled to protect them – it's not like the brothers had many people to contact anyway – but they were virtually indestructible. Also, though Raphael didn't mention it, they were the first phone to come with a small tracking module. He kept that knowledge to himself.

He watched as Leonardo clicked on the contacts icon and found there was only one.

Raphael.

He looked up and Raphael shrugged.

"In case you wanted to contact me."

He cleared his throat.

"You can't make calls on that, only accept them. But you can text. And … and I put some family photos on there in case you were interested."

He felt Leonardo draw back a little.

"Did you tell them about me?" Leonardo said, not meeting his eyes.

"No," Raphael said, glad at the decision he had made. "I didn't want to push you."

He paused for a moment and then added: "I'll let them know when you're ready."

He turned away so Leonardo couldn't see the look on his face. He was rather proud of himself, that had been a stroke of genius.

"Thank Cody for the cake," he said, slinging his jacket over his shell. "And the biscuits. I'll see myself out."

He was halfway to the attic door when he heard his brother say something.

Leonardo was standing on the edge of the light cast by the lamp; half in and out of the darkness.

"Thank you," he repeated.

Raphael smiled.

"See you in a few days."

Next chapter: Family reunions and family feuds.