Chris Thorndyke was streaming a rousing game of Counter-Strike: Global Offensive in his mom's basement when he sensed that trouble was brewing.
"No,it can't be!" he said, jumping out of his mustard and ketchup stained comfortable leather recliner. "Sonic's power level is...!"
Faster than his stream viewers could begin to upload this sudden weird outburst to Youtube, the man child began rummaging through the messy state of his dark, dim dwelling place to gather his travel gear: a fedora, a Steven Seagal autographed katana (maybe), a backpack filled to the brim with individual canisters of Gamer Grub and cans of Monster energy drinks (staples of his diet despite his lean build), a TSM fanboy jacket even though it was seventy degrees outside because it was imperative that he still 'represent', a framed photograph of a 7/10 girl he once talked to online, and his Nintendo 3DS with a Pokemon Y cartridge loaded into it (should any trainers dare to challenge him and his shameless all-legendaries team, along the way).
Chris's mom asked him where he was going so he responded with a firm "wherever the fuck I want", and because she was so proud of him actually leaving the house for a change she didn't press the point, but insisted he take the trash out while he was at it. So, Chris begrudgingly rolled the trash can out to the road whilst pondering what he would say if any cops caught him out in public with his katana again, as well as what grand perils awaited him on his valiant quest should he successfully manage to procure a ride.
This final thought only struck him as he made it to the end of the road, and his subsequent apprehension about talking to strangers left him with but one clear choice as was initiated by his next line of dialogue:
"Yo, mom! Can you get your fat ass up and give me a ride up to Sonic's house?"
Ms. Thorndyke was more than happy to oblige Christopher's unusual desire to play with Mr. Sonic, so they drove to the Green Hill Zone only stopping for burgers along the way. Although Ms. Thorndyke wanted to believe that they were spending quality together this way, Chris was buried too deep in the goings-on of his internet life and a greasy Big Mac that he barely seemed to notice her. It made her think of the beautiful baby boy she once held in her arms, and where she might have went wrong as a parent in the years since then. Was it the divorce? Is technology to blame? Or, should she have been more strict during his formative years?
Sorry about that, I'm in a bit of blue mood right now as I'm writing this.
In any case, Chris made it to Sonic's humble abode and as he entered with his mom waiting behind in the car, at first nothing seemed to be out of place. At the center of the living room there was a glass display cupboard wherein Sonic kept various mementos: his smash trophies, framed fan submitted drawings from the '90s (the age of innocence), and limited edition production copies of his shitty library of games. Chris gave it one quick look-over, and from that look alone he obtained an important clue.
"You're wasting your time," he said, not directed at you but at the shape of rippling air currents that he had noticed hiding in the corner above a sizable mound of dirty, giant red running shoes when he first walked in. "Sonic's chaos emerald shard is gone, so that must mean he's on an important mission somewhere, but even I don't know what that could entail."
Espio the chameleon detective's camouflage dissipated. He looked pissed, as usual. "The other two went missing as well, and Amy still hasn't been found since she disappeared two days ago."
"What do you say we join-"
Chris Thorndyke's mom repeatedly honked the minivan's horn, but it did little to disparage the oncoming beast's advance.