Leah stood in front of the bathroom mirror, straightening her black sleeveless dress. Yes, she was wearing a dress. It was placed on her chair when she woke up, with a note attached to it saying:
Hey Leah
Thought you might need this for today. I mean, I know that you don't care about clothes and all but I thought you would at least have the decency to wear this for a day like this. Rose and Edward said that you would just roll your eyes and chuck it away; please don't. We all pay our respects, by the way and remember we're always there for you (Even though it doesn't matter to you as much, but we are growing on you I can see). So when are you coming over? It's been a while and Emmett and surprisely Jasper, are really keen to see you; not to mention Rose and of course me too. See you soon.
Alice Cullen.
P.s: Prefer if you wore some nice shoes as well. I would have bought a pair but Edward didn't let me.
Well Rosalie and Edward were right about Leah rolling her eyes but Leah was actually grateful that they understood what today meant to her and how it affected her. She let out a sigh as she slipped on her black leather biker jacket (she didn't want to look all that decent). She gazed at her reflection in the mirror and saw her facial features look so down and droopy. Taking in a breath and letting it out slowly, she walked out of the bathroom and slowly dropped down to sit on her bed. She slid on one of her sneakers just when, a knock was heard on her door (which was really unlikely since no one knocks when entering). Her eyes darted for the door as she saw the frame of her little brother, came through the small gap between the doorframe and the door. He brought his eyes to his sister, giving a half smile and burying his hands in his jacket pockets. It was the first time she (or even him for the matter of fact) had seen him, fully clothed (and quite quiet as well) since they started to phase.
"Hey, you ready, Lee?" Seth asked, rubbing the back of his head, burying his hand in his shaggy black hair. Leah looked down at her shoes, biting her lip as she slipped on the other pair and placed her feet on the floor. She let out a sigh of disbelief and looked up at her brother, through her short strands of black hair.
"Sure, let's get over with this" she softly replied, pulling herself off the bed and walked towards the door; Seth held her sister's arm as a sign of support as they both left the room.
"Paul, would you just pick a fricking radio station already?" Jacob groaned in frustration. Jacob didn't even know why he put up with Paul; oh right, because he's his sister's imprinter and Rachel would eat Jacob alive if he did anything to hurt her 'precious' Paul. Both, Billy and Jacob gagged at that point.
"Chill Black, if you didn't have such sucky reception and stereo system, we won't have this problem" Paul said, turning the knob of the radio.
"It's your fucking car, Paul and your fucked-up stereo" Jacob snarled, earning a small glare from Billy (who was sitting in the front passenger seat, next to Jacob) but Jacob chose to ignore.
"And whose fault is that?" Paul said, raising his eyebrow at Jacob. Jacob felt a small growl emerge from his chest; why? Why? Why did he even promise to fix Paul's car when he couldn't care any less? Oh right, because of his darling sister, again.
"Boys, settle down" Billy spoke, shooting glances at both, Jacob and Paul. Paul retracted his hand from the radio and slumped back onto his seat, next to Rachel. Jacob was trying so hard not to jump onto the backseat and punch Paul but in the end, he let out a frustrated sigh and kept his eyes glued to the road.
"Paul, please behave. We're almost there and you promised to behave, for today" Rachel said to Paul. Jacob wished that she would tell him to shut up for the rest of his life but of course that won't come true anytime soon. Paul gave one nod and then kissed her on the lips.
"Ugh, guys please. Enough tonsil tennis" Jacob groaned as he viewed them from the mirror and pulled a disgusted look. Paul pulled away and smirked at Jacob's reflection.
"This is nothing compared to—" Paul said before getting cut off by Billy. It was a good thing that Billy cut Paul off because Jacob was on the verge to do some real damage.
"Kids, for once please just shut up" Billy groaned. Everyone knew that it wouldn't happen that easily.
"I'm being good and an adult, right dad?" Rebecca said in her sweet tone. Billy nodded whereas Jacob and Rachel rolled their eyes.
"Suck-Up" They both muttered in unison. Paul chuckled while Rebecca stuck out her tongue at them; Billy was the only one who was not impressed. He seemed to be kind of serious today and everyone knew why.
"Please, you all know what today is and I wish not to yell today. I want to say hello to my old friend. You know how much it means to me and the Clearwaters" Billy spoke, softly and sadly but yet in a serious tone. Jacob ducked his head down a bit, feeling guilty for almost forgetting what today meant for Billy, Sue, Seth…Leah. Everyone in the car got quiet and nodded in agreement. Jacob finally got a view of the large black gate and the courtyard beyond it. He pulled the car to a stop and removed the keys out of ignition, before getting out of the car with the others. Paul took Billy's wheelchair out and set it up and, Rebecca and Rachel helped their disabled dad onto it. Jacob stood in front of the large gate, just gazing at it. He felt a small shiver of horror and sadness crawl through his spine; it was like a blast from the past.
This was where his past and loss were left behind and just some memories that did cause some sadness and pain for his family. He felt fingers interlock with his, on both of his hands and looked to see Rachel and Rebecca, one on his left and the other on his right gazing at the gate just like he was. Then the Black siblings exchanged supporting glances and Jacob pecked his elder sisters' hands before letting them slid off. This was one of the reasons that Jacob loved his sisters; even though they teased him and they always fought with each other, they were always there for each other in times of grief, pain and guilt. Jacob heard Billy get wheeled (by Paul) next to them; Jacob knew how this also gravely affected his dad as well. Letting out a sigh, Jacob pushed open the large black gate, making room for Billy, Paul and his sisters to enter this large green courtyard of people's past.
There was a gathering of people surrounding, just a few feet away from Harry Clearwater's grave when Jacob and his family (and Paul) emerged over the small hill. They were instantly greeted by Jared, who had Kim attached to his arm; Collin and Brady; Quil, holding Claire's hand, who standing next to her mother and father; Embry and a couple others from the reservation. Jacob and the others walked up to Sue, who was held by the waist by Charlie. Jacob could tell that Sue was crying since her eyes were a bit worn out and red but she would keep denying it; something that Leah had got from her. They were both strong yet stubborn at times. Billy took Sue's hand into his two hands and gave a small smile.
"You are a really strong woman, Sue. You have done such an amazing job with everything in yours and the kids' life. I don't think Harry ever regretted having you as a wife" Billy said to her, patting her hand. Charlie looked a little uncomfortable with that statement but he knew that it was true and he kissed Sue's forehead, as a sign of comfort and support.
"You and me, both Billy; we both are on the same boat. You've also done a wonderful job with your kids" she replied softly, giving smiles to Rebecca and Rachel and stopping her gaze at Jacob, making her smile widened a bit. Jacob really appreciated Sue's hospitality and kindness. When his mom wasn't around, Sue was always there as a second mom. She would take care of him and his sisters, take them to school, feed them (loads of food) and love them as much as she loved Leah and Seth.
"Mind if we go and see him?" Billy asked and Sue merely nodded. Billy patted Sue's hand and gave Charlie a nod, before being pushed to the tombstone by Paul; The twins and Jacob followed them behind. Jacob looked around to spot the Clearwater siblings and saw Seth, standing with Embry, looking a bit grim (which was so unlike him but of course he would be grim on a day like this) but Jacob couldn't seem to find Leah. Did she even come? Of course she would come. It's her dad's memorial. Unless maybe it was too much for her to handle. These thoughts flooded Jacob's head but stopped shortly when he reached the tombstone, engraved 'Harry Clearwater, wonderful husband, father and person'. It was just like other tombstones; grey, big and rectangular but it had couple of bouquets and wreaths surrounding it. Harry Clearwater was known by almost all of La Push so it wasn't surprising to see so many unknown bouquets. Billy sighed as he brought his gaze up to the tombstone. Billy did miss Harry; he missed Harry's jokes; Harry's fish fry (not that it was a big thing but it was a sign of their friendship); Harry's company and his understanding, when Billy had problems with the kids as well as his condition when Sarah Black passed away.
"Hey there, old friend; Long time no see. Well, I guess I should be blamed for that, since I'm the one who hasn't been coming to see you. Forgive me for that…" Billy spoke to the tombstone, as if Harry was actually there. Paul raised his eyebrow, in question and thinking that Billy was losing it but Rachel gave him one hit on the back of his head; The Black kids knew what this meant, not only to Billy but to themselves as well.
"Everything has been going good. Sue seems good, especially since our man is there to keep an eye on her. Don't worry, he would never replace you and he knows that you'll probably kick his ass if he does when he comes to that side…" Billy said, earning small giggles from the twins and a small smile from Jacob.
"The kids seem to be good too since I have my boy to look out for them…" Billy said, turning to Jacob; Jacob grinned and gave a nod. Billy knew that Jacob would be there to take care of Leah and Seth, not as a favor but because he cared for them as much as Billy did. Billy smiled at his son and then turned back at the tombstone, sighing.
"But I do miss you. You were always my right-hand man and you always will be. I hope to see you soon, old man" Billy stated, as his eyes started to sparkle from the little water collecting in his eyes, as Jacob's and Paul's eyes widened while the twins exchanged saddened looks. They weren't exactly surprised at the fact that Billy was tearing up, but they were surprised that he brought up the fact that he won't be there for so long. It was just so hard for the Black children to think of their other parent to leave them, all alone just like their mom did. The loss of one parent was bad enough for Jacob and his sisters, but to lose their darling father was just unthinkable.
"Dad…" Jacob whispered, in a very tense tone. Billy merely gave a weak smile to his kids; they all knew that he won't be here for so long, even though they didn't want to accept it. Billy sighed and then gestured to his daughters; Rachel and Rebecca gave a small nod and took a step forward together towards the tombstone, as Paul pull Billy's wheelchair to make room. The twins sunk down to both their knees and then Rebecca placed the large yellow tulip on Harry's grave.
"We all miss you, Harry…" Rebecca said, softly to the grave.
"Yeah, you were always like a father to us" Rachel sighed. Jacob walked up behind his sisters and placed his palms on his sisters' shoulders, giving them a reassuring smile. Rachel and Rebecca gave identical smiles to their baby brother as they got up and went in for a sibling cuddle. It was like old times but things changed when Rachel had moved to Washington and Rebecca married that Hawaiian surfer but now here they were, together like real brother and sisters. They pulled away from their hug and Rachel went into Paul's comforting arms whereas Rebecca gave Billy a kiss on the cheek. Jacob sighed and gazed at Harry's tombstone again.
It was just so weird to be here, to see a tombstone of someone who meant so much to you and was like family, just lay there in front of you. Jacob was of course, used to it but still had to fight that pain he felt inside. The pain of losing someone who you cared for, someone who you loved, someone who was family, someone who was a friend, a husband, a father…Father, that's when Jacob's head snapped up and turned to search for a similar face. Then he finally saw it. There she was, standing under a large oak tree, just about 50 feet away from where he was. She was leaning against it, wearing a black knee-length dress (including the black jacket and sneakers) and her head was looking to the ground. It wasn't even that she was looking something; she was more in deep thought. Her shoulder length hair and the leaves on the floor, brushed against her copper skin as she just stayed still. Jacob just gazed at her, unable to comprend if this was the same girl who used to fight and argue with him, because the beautiful, sad girl in front of him was nothing like that; it worried him a bit. He wanted so bad just to go and hold her and tell her that everything would be okay, but just when he was about to, he was interrupted by a voice.
"Will everyone take their seats? The ceremony would start shortly" the reverend said. Everyone started to shuffle towards the chairs. Paul and Rachel pushed Billy to the seats while Rebecca, wrapped her arm around Jacob's arm, supportively. Jacob snapped out and gazed at his sister, giving a small smile and started to walk to the chairs and happened to see Leah, lift her face up at the reverend's words, looking blank.
"Thank you all for coming" Sue thanked the packs and their imprints. The ceremony had gotten over and now everyone was crowded, behind the black gate at the entrance of the graveyard.
"Don't mention it, Sue. We're family, we're always here for each other" Jared said, holding Kim under his large arm, who was agreeing with whatever he said. Jared was second in command and now taking charge of Sam's pack while Sam is away on his honeymoon. Paul thought that the power might get into Jared's already big head but what could they do. Jacob walked up to Seth Clearwater, with Rebecca holding his hand. Seth looks up at his alpha and gave a weak smile. It was almost not right for Jacob to see Seth, so down and unlike.
"Hey Jacob, thanks for coming" Seth said, in his-not-so-normal-tone-but-kind-of-sad-tone. Rebecca and Jacob exchanged worried glances before Rebecca broke off from Jacob and wrapped one of her arms around Seth's chest and the other on his shoulder, patting him comfortingly.
"No problem, man. How are you doing?" Jacob asked carefully to Seth, trying not to hurt him in any way.
"Hmm…I guess I'm doing well. I mean, not the best. It feels so weird you know, so…lonely. I mean he isn't around. It has been 4-5 years but still" Seth sighs, burying his hands even more into his pockets which made Rebecca, hold him tighter.
"We know what you mean, Seth and we're here for you. We totally understand and we're sorry" Rebecca replied to Seth. Seth gave Rebecca a small smile and then removed his hand from his pocket and placed one of his arms around her shoulders. Rebecca always did like Seth. When they were young, Seth was the youngest and Rachel, Leah and at times Jacob would bully him and tease him, and Rebecca would always be there to protect and take care of Seth; she was like his superhero. Rebecca then gave Seth a small peck on his cheek (she had to stand on her toes to reach him) while Jacob just stood there, smiling understandingly.
"Well I guess we can all head back to my house for some food" Sue announced, holding Charlie's arm. Everyone agreed and was ready to go out the gate when Rachel spoke.
"Oh, where's Leah?" she asked, turning to Seth, Jacob and Rebecca. Everyone then noticed that Leah wasn't around…come to think of it, Jacob wasn't even sure if she followed them back to the gate.
"Oh, she must still be there" Seth replied.
"Okay, I'll go get her" Rachel said, removing Paul's arm from her waist and about to make her way down the path.
"No…" Jacob spoke, making Rachel stop and turn to him
"I'll get her. You guys go ahead to Sue's, I'll bring her" Jacob declared, pushing Rachel back to Paul.
"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah I'm sure" Jacob blandly stated.
"I'll come with you" Embry said, moving away from the crowd and looking at Jacob. Jacob looked at Embry, narrowing his eyes a bit but then rubbed the back of his neck, sighing.
"No, it's okay. I'll get her back. Don't want so much of a commotion. You guys go on ahead" Jacob uttered.
"Well, I'll wait by the car then" Embry announced. Jacob knew that Embry won't let it go; he doesn't let anything go easily which kind of gets annoying. Jacob looked at Embry and just merely shrugged before turning and walking down the path.
Jacob silently walked down the grassy path back to where the memorial was held. He shivered a bit at the sight of the tombstones, crowded around him which made him dig his hands deeper into his pockets. It was not that he was scared of the graveyard (even though it's nothing to love) but just the thought of people's bodies, buried under this green is just so weird. People who had once been brave, who had once been cared about, who had once achieved so much, who once had a life and family, who had once been loved. Jacob let out a sad sigh as he remembered the first time he had come here; the first time that he ever felt so empty, lonely, in pain, vulnerable; like someone had ripped a part of his heart out. It was as if he could still visualize his father, sunk down on his knees staring blankly at the coffin in front of him; as if he could still hear the faint cries of his sisters as they watched the coffin cover slam shut; as if he could still hear the voices in his head, screaming with mixed emotions: agony, anger, confusion, frustration when he saw the coffin being placed into the hole; the coffin of his loved dead mother. Jacob clenched his jaw tight, trying hard not to think of what he and his family had gone through when they lost his mother. It was as if there was no life in his family; there was no light from the burnt-out sun.
Just when he thought he was on the verge to run away from here, his gaze flew to a shadow peering over the tombstone. Her black hair was flat against her lean back and her hands were brought to the front of her. It was her. She was kneeling down in front of her dad's grave when Jacob slowly creeped behind her and happened to catch what she was doing.
"Hey dad, beautiful day isn't it?" she whispered to the tombstone. She's talking to her dad about the weather? Jacob smiled to himself.
"Well, you know I'm not good in this whole talking to a tombstone thing you know. It doesn't seem to be right. But I thought I would try" Leah said, looking at her lap.
"Okay…" she sighed and looked up at the tombstone. "I miss you, of course. I mean you're my dad, you mean a lot to me."
"Just because he was your dad is why he means a lot to you?" Jacob blurted out, raising an eyebrow. Leah instantly jumped up and spun around to face Jacob, looking stunned.
"Jesus Christ, Black…" she said, running her hand through her hair. "You should really keep your opinions to yourself."
"It was just so weird that you used that an excuse to miss him" Jacob shrugged. Leah sighed, looking to the ground as a small wave of sadness rushed through her face but she hid it from him. She then put on a brave face and looked at Jacob with her mocking look.
"Whatever, Black. What are you doing here anyways? Stalking me?" she questioned, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Sure, that was what I was doing. I can't get enough of you, Leah" Jacob said, rolling his eyes and Leah huffed.
"I came to take you back. Everyone is going to your place for food" Jacob explained and Leah rolled her eyes, annoyed.
"Great, more pity. Why don't we just have a sign saying 'come on in; we're sad, hurt and have no life, power or strength so please come and throw your pity at our faces!'? Seriously, some people can't strap on a pair" Leah huffed, looking away. Jacob narrowed his eyes at Leah for a minute before replying to her.
"You do paint an interesting image, Leah but I don't know why it bothers you so much" Jacob spoke.
"Because it's pathetic…" Leah spoke, turning her gaze to Jacob. "Just because something grave happened does not mean the world stops, okay? Just for a loss that someone has had doesn't give the others the advantage to feel sorry for that person, who in the end makes that person feel like a loser" Leah explained, in her annoyed tone. Jacob raised his eyebrow at the comment she made. It seemed too different and out-of-the-blue for her to say something like that. Reading Jacob's expression, Leah let out a frustrated sigh and storms past him, down the path. Jacob took a minute to clear things in his head and then turned his gaze at Harry's tombstone, sighing.
"Your daughter, I swear" and with that, he turned around and headed off in the direction, after Leah.
Leah stormed into her room, and closed the door behind her before letting out a small frustrated groan. She had just spent about 15 minutes in the car with Jacob and Embry and couldn't stand all the sad and worried looks they gave her. And as soon as she entered the house, Kim had jumped and attached herself to Leah for what felt like an hour, and Kim was sobbing. Isn't that just lovely? Leah huffed at her thought. Leah removed her jacket and sneakers and then just tossed it, aimlessly on her bed before retreating to the toilet. She locked the door and then started to slowly pace around, trying to think of ways to just shut all those people up. After Kim's little sobbing and hugging and 'I'm here for you' fiasco, Leah was barricaded by all these unknown people. They had their comfort, sad, pity faces on, along with a chorus of 'I'm sorry', 'Don't worry', 'You're so pretty and strong (which by the way was so random)', 'You must be taking good care of your brother and mother. Such a sweet girl' and 'Your father is really lucky to have a daughter like you.' That was the comment that made Leah snort yet feel angered about. No, he's not lucky to have a daughter like me. You know why? Because I'm partly the reason he's dead! Leah's thought screamed (or wanted to scream at them).
"Sweetheart, you really should stop yelling in your head. It may cause you a minor migraine" a voice, hitting the insides of Leah's ear walls; a very familiar voice. A voice which she hadn't heard for ages and thought that she would never hear again. Leah turned around to follow that heart filling voice and she felt her body freeze at the sight. It was just unbelievable; he was there. She didn't know how and why and what but all she did was, looked at him. His long black hair was tied up in a ponytail like it always used to; his copper skin was glowing like the sun, which was behind him; he was wearing his warm smile which Leah used to always fall for; and he was wearing his favorite shirt and pants, which used to bug Sue so much because he wouldn't wear anything else but that; the same clothes he wore the last time she saw him. Leah thought that she was going to collapse, seeing this man who she loved more than anything, standing by the window in her bathroom. Then Leah shook her head trying to argue with herself again. What the hell is going on here? What is wrong with you? You're going crazy, Clearwater! She yelled at herself again.
"What did I just say?" Harry sighed, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning on the wall behind him. Leah turned her gaze to him, narrowing her eyes.
"Well, I'm sorry for yelling at myself for going crazy and hallucinating stuff that will never be possible!" Leah huffed, rolling her eyes and Harry sighed.
"Boy, you're humor and sarcasm is getting thicker by the day. No wonder, Sue always got irritated with my humor. I guess you got that a little too much from me" Harry stated, gazing at the window.
"What are you even doing here? In my bathroom? You and Seth never got into the habit of knocking. Why are you here? Why? Why?" Leah questioned, crossing her arms and making her lips go into line. Harry turned his gaze away from the window to his daughter.
"I think our whole family never got a habit of knocking…" Harry chuckled and then looked calmly at Leah. "…and also I saw my baby girl upset."
Baby girl? Yeah right. Upset? I'm not upset. I'm okay, not upset Leah chanted in her head.
"If so, then why are you crushing a tampon in your hand?" Harry replied. Leah's eyes widened and then realized that she was gripping onto something. Oh shit she thought but then opened her hand and saw it was nothing more than a bubble gum wrap.
"Gotcha" Harry laughed at his daughter as Leah narrowed her eyes at him.
"That was lame, dad" Leah rolled her eyes, throwing the wrap at him.
"Anything to make my girl laugh" Harry stated and Leah sighed.
"That hasn't happened in a while" she said.
"That's not true. I see you laughing with Billy's son" Harry replied.
"Jake? Hmph, he's just an idiot so I laugh at his stupidity" Leah snorted.
"No, I can see it's something else" Harry smiled and Leah raised an eyebrow at her dad.
"Whatever, and what do you mean you 'see'?" Leah asked.
"You don't think I know what goes on down here? I occasionally come to see how things are. How your mom is, how Seth's been, but most importantly how you've been" Harry explained and Leah huffed, pouting a bit.
"When you were young, I used to tickle you to make you laugh" Harry grinned as he took a step closer to Leah.
"I'm not that ticklish, anymore" Leah spoke.
"Then how about this?" Harry said and then stuck his finger in his mouth, drenching it in his saliva and waved it near Leah. Leah dodged and looked at her dad, disgusted.
"Eww, wet willy. Gross dad" Leah groaned, chuckling a bit. Harry chuckled at his daughter's reaction, retracting his hand and wiping the spit on his pants' side.
"See, I made you feel better, right my little Simba?" Harry said. Leah's smile widened a bit at the old nicknames that she and her dad used to have when she was young (they used to love watching Lion King together).
"You remember that, old man?" Leah grinned but also saddened at the fact that this would never happen again.
"How could I forget it? Leah, no matter what, you'll always be my little girl who used to call me in her room in the middle of the night, and pretend to be scared of the monsters in her cupboard, just so I could stay with her and tell her stories. Or the girl who I used to place on my lap as we sat on the cliff, staring at the sunset whilst talking about the journeys and stories we could have together or talk about your future…" Harry said, placing his hand on Leah's cheek, softly. Leah slowly closed her eyes as she could still feel the slight dad warmness of her father as Harry sighed. "What happened to all of that, Leah?"
"It all disappeared…" Leah softly choked as she opened her brown eyes at her father (which was now, getting a bit glassy). "It all went away when my fate changed…and you left."
"I was there with you, Leah" Harry stated. Leah felt a bit of anger run into her at his words and she pushed his hand away from her cheek, glaring at him with glassy eyes.
"No, you weren't! Where were you when I held mom, to stop her from crying? Where were you when I turned into a wolf and I thought I lost everything? Where were you when I had to work under the same guy who stomped on my heart? Where were you when I needed you the most?" Leah snarled at Harry. Harry saddened face looked at his frustrated daughter before taking another step closer to her. Now she was snarling but her eyes were in pain and filled with sorrow.
"I know I wasn't there and I so hated that. But remember one thing Leah, I'm always there with you…" he said and then placed his hand on the left side of her chest. "…In there. Just remember that."
As Harry's hand dropped, Leah's snarl dropped as her lips started to tremble. She really missed him; she wanted him to be with her, her whole life. It was his promise to her, but she guessed that promises started to lose its value. Harry sighed and then turned his head to face the window and from the corner, there was a small smile on his face.
"It really is a beautiful day today, isn't it?" Harry said, looking into the sunlight. Leah looked at her dad, painfully and sadly, biting her lip from stopping the tears from falling down.
"I'm sorry, daddy…" Leah choked. "I'm sorry that I'm the reason you're not here with us; with me. Please forgive me. I love you soo much and I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm sorry that I'm the reason you're dead" she managed to choke and then looked away, biting her lips even harder, clenching her fists and shutting her eyes even tighter. Harry turned his old face to his daughter, with a weak smile and care in his eyes.
'Lee…" he managed to say, softly which made Leah tighten her fists even more. His voice was so caring and loving (she missed it so much), she had to gaze at this man. She slowly relaxed fists and lips; her head was low as she slowly relaxed her eyes lids; she turned her head to him before slowly lifting her head up and revealing her brown eyes at him (the same ones he had).
The next thing that happened came as a complete shock. As soon as Leah's eyes opened to his sweet father, his smile instantly dropped and his eyes were widened with shock and also…fright. Leah saw her dad's chest rise up and down, quicker than usual which made her, fill with worry. He took two steps back, still with that expression.
"Daddy…?" Leah asked, shocked and almost scared as she took a step forward towards him. He took a step away from her again, moving backwards towards the widow. Leah looked pained at her father and took another step forward to him, stretching her arm at him. As soon as her fingertips were about to feel his touch, there was a horrid gasp that came from…him, and then he…was gone; all that was there was small dust, twirling in the sunlight. Leah gasped in horror before immediately taking her hand back, clasping it onto her mouth and the other holding her chest, which was beating even harder. She felt her face get warmer and wetter, as the tears she tried to hold face, came flooding down her eyes. She just looked at the sunlight, the same place her dad was a minute was, choking on her gasps and tears, and she slowly sunk down to her knees in thump, shutting her eyes tightly making the tears and sobs increase.
It was exactly what happened before; what she exactly feared and dreaded. It was like a déjà vu. That dreaded day; the day she lost almost…everything. She could still hear her mother's shriek when she entered Leah's room and saw the 2 huge wolves there; she could still hear the hard footsteps on the staircase as her dad rushed up to see what was wrong; she could still hear Sam's and Seth's thoughts as well as Paul's cussing in her head; she could still see her dad's face when he saw her. It was the same. The same way he looked at her right now. He was ashamed and terrified of what she was; he couldn't even live to see her like this. Leah let out a small whine before, sinking down to her bottom and then resting on the bathroom floor, lying on the side of shoulder. She felt the tears change course and roll down her nose and other side of her cheek before falling on the cold white bathroom floor. She let out small almost inaudible sobs, clenching onto the bathroom rug and burying her drenched face in it as the pain shot through the core of her heart.
"Leah?" Jacob whispered as he slid into her room, closing the door behind him. It had been about half an hour since he last saw Leah (after the whole pity session, which made her storm up to her room) and he was curious to see how she was. To his surprise, she wasn't in the room. Her jacket and sneakers were thrown on the bed but there was no Leah. She didn't run away did she? Oh man, I better call the others Jacob thought, but when he was just about to leave, he heard a small whimper. He froze in his place and slowly turned his body at the small noise, crunching his eyebrows together. The minute he took a step forward, the noise stopped. Okay, that was weird Jacob scratched his head. He was about to leave again but then he decided to find the source for that noise. Maybe it's Leah…but from where? He asked himself. He walked around her room, observing it. He had been in her room…once or twice, before she kicked him out. The walls of her room were pale yellow, with couple posters of Paramore, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Metallica, Slipknot and others like that. Who knew that Leah actually like music, even though it's mostly loud and screamo music Jacob shrugged and then moved his gaze from the walls, to her large blue covered bed, then made his way to her dresser which had nothing on it, then to her study and her cupboard. But what got Jacob's gaze was her bookshelf. There were all sorts of books, magazines, albums but mostly importantly photo frames. Jacob stood in front of the bookshelf, gazing at the frames and the people, smiling and posing in them.
The one on the at most left was a wooden frame of her parents, on what looked like their wedding day. It was pretty old since Jacob could barely recognize his father in the background, next to Harry Clearwater. The young and handsome Harry had his hand draped around the beautiful Sue as they both smiled at the camera with their bridesmaids and groomsmen in the background. Jacob's brown eyes moved to the other wooden frame next to it and he couldn't help to chuckle slightly. The smiling 9 year old Leah had her arm around Seth's neck and giving him a hard rub on his head, while a pissed 5 year old Seth was pouting. The next picture was of Leah in her teens with her arms around teen Rachel and Rebecca on both sides, and some other kids that Jacob recognized from his old high school. Jacob had to admit that Leah was pretty attractive(she still kind of is) with her skinny jeans, her long hair moving with the wind and her black sleeveless that barely covered her flat stomach. The next picture was with Leah and her dad, by the beach. Leah's head was laying on her dad's lap while he stroked her forehead, and they both gazed at the sunset. Jacob knew how close Leah and her dad were and how pained she was for her when he passed away. The last picture which was on the right side was of Leah. The old Leah you could say. She was standing on the cliff, wearing her plain jeans and shirt and smiling. It was so weird and different; even though it was few years ago when the picture was taken, it felt like a lifetime for most. One of Jacob's finger traced Leah's past picture and a small smile appeared on his face.
The bathroom door suddenly flew open, hitting the back wall and making Jacob's head snap to its direction. Jacob's eyes widened at the sight. There was Leah, standing by the door with her hair, a bit messy and kind of covering her face and her head was held low, but Jacob could notice the trails of dried tears on her cheeks and then redness of her eyes. It was just so unbelievable for Jacob. This girl, this girl who he knew for god knows how long, this girl who is so tough, strong, cocky and one of the most sarcastic yet brilliant people he has ever met, was an emotional wreck right now. He saw Leah's drenched face lift up slightly and their eyes met. The first thing he saw in her eyes was vulnerability, sadness, loneliness and pain before it was shadowed by anger.
"What are you doing here, Black?" Leah demanded as her eyes started to harden its gaze and she roughly wiped off her tears.
"I came to check on you, Lee. Are you okay?" Jacob said, softly afraid to take a step towards her, in fear that she would explode.
"Yeah, I'm fine. What would make you think I'm not okay? Look, I told you before Black, stay the hell away. I don't need you, I don't need anyone!" Leah snarled but Jacob cringed at the pain that was released between those words.
"Leah, I know what you're going through. I've been there and I'm here for you" Jacob explained, desperately trying to reason and help her.
"I don't need you! I don't need you to feel pity for me! I'm fine! By myself!" Leah yelled, making her eyes even redder and she clenched her fists. If it was another guy right now, he would have instantly run out of the room, but not Jacob. No, because he knew her better and he was there for her, no matter what.
"I'm not pitying you, Leah. I'm saying that I'm here for you, because I know what it feels like to lose someone you love so much. I'm here for you, because you don't deserve to do this alone" Jacob explained, taking a step forward with his hand still on the photo frame. Leah's mouth started to tremble as she fought her way from the tears. She took in a sharp breath and then glared at Jacob, still feeling the pain jolting in her.
"No, you don't. I'm fine. I'm fine being by myself. Being alone! This is who I am! I do deserve to be alone! I do!" Leah started of screaming but then she started to choke on her tears, at her last words. Suddenly Jacob dropped his hand from the happy and care-free Leah and walked and wrapped his protective arms around this broken and fragile Leah; A side of Leah that he never saw and never wanted to see. Leah tried to push away from his grasp, trying not to give in to the tears but in the end, lost strength and collapsed into his chest, pounding onto it desperately. Her sobs didn't lessen but increased even more when the pain again reflected back on her. Her new trails of tears, stained Jacob's shirt but he didn't care; all he wanted to do is take care of this girl.
"Shh Leah…its okay" Jacob whispered, against her head as he started to slowly move backwards, leading them to her bed. But Leah didn't stop sobbing. There was no use of her keeping it in anymore, since now Jacob had seen her this way and plus, it just hurt too much. As neither of them broke from the grasp and sat down on the bed, it was as if everything was focused on them and nothing else. All that mattered was this time and them. Jacob pulled his head away from the top of her head, loosening his wrap and tried to look into her watery eyes.
"It was all my fault, Jake" Leah sobbed, as Jacob cupped her chin in his hand so he could look at her, but her eyes were to her lap. "It's my fault that he's not here today."
"No Leah, don't say that. It is most definitely not your fault and everyone knows that. Even Harry did" Jacob spoke, rubbing some of her tears off her cheek with his thumb.
"It was. He...H-He died because I-I was a mon-monster. Because he was ashamed of wh-what I was! He-he was sc-scared of me! My own fa-father" Leah moaned, looking into Jacob's eyes finally. Jacob nearly cringed at her state; her eyes were so red and there were dark trails of tears down her cheeks as well as her eyes, still carrying excess waters.
"Leah, that is not true! Don't ever say that!" Jacob gasped. Jacob couldn't even believe that Leah would think of such a thing.
"…it is" Leah moaned again, closing her eyes.
"No, it isn't. Listen to me…" Jacob said, holding on to her chin firmly as her eyes slowly opened again. "He loved you, more than you would ever know. Of course, he hated the fact that fate and our ancestors chose this path for you but he never would stop loving you. You meant everything to him and he would never ever regret having you as his daughter. Even if you're a dog or if you think that you have no future."
"Jacob…" Leah managed to choke, before being pulled into his chest again. She felt small new trails of tears fall, but she just tightened her hold around him.
"I'm here for you, Lee. You deserve so much better. And I know it" Jacob whispered, against her hair on the top of her head as he gently rubbed her back with his hand. Leah rested her head against his shoulder, letting out a strained sigh before closing her eyes, slowly reducing the tears and the sobs caught in her throat.
Jacob's head was resting on the backboard of the bed as he took small breaths, eyes closed. He was exhausted. It had been about 2 hours since he helped Leah to stop crying and not blame herself; it really takes it out off a guy. Jacob's dozed off head slowly rocked to the side, before giving up and completely falling to the right but luckily Jacob was able to pull his head up. His eyes snapped open as he gently shook his head. But then he felt something against him, or holding him on the right side of him and the bed. He turned his gaze to see what it was and wasn't totally surprised to see black hair attached to a sleeping Leah Clearwater.
He had dozed off here and now he was on Leah Clearwater's bed with the one and only Leah Clearwater. Her head was laying against his shoulder, while his right arm was draped around her shoulders and her arms were around his chest. Her body was slightly angled towards him and her left leg was kind of over his right leg. Boy, if Leah woke up right now and saw this, she would have a full-on fit Jacob's thought screamed but right now for him, it didn't seem to matter. For once, he didn't care how Leah would react or how he would; all he seemed to care about was this girl who was curled next to him. She looked so peaceful and soft when she slept (something that most of the guys never experienced. Once in a life-time opportunity, probably). Her slightly sharp features were now soft and so gentle; Jacob couldn't even tell if it was the same girl. A small smile plastered on his face as he felt her body move up and down as she slept, soundly. Taking his free hand, Jacob carefully took a strand of her hair that was lying across her face, and gently swiped it behind her ear. She moved closer to his body when he gently stroked her forehead, which made the heat between the two, increase. Just then, Leah's door flew open and in came running the bubbly, 5 year old Claire who was beaming away.
"Aunt LEAH! Uncle JAKE!" Claire exclaimed, entering the room and running to the bed.
"Shh Claire" Jacob whispered to Claire. Claire let out a small giggle and leaned on the bed.
"Claire, I told you. No storming into Aunt Leah's room without knocking unless you want to die-" Quil called out and then in entered, tall and burly Quil into Leah's room, who stopped talking after seeing Jacob holding the sleeping Leah.
"Leah's asleep" Jacob stated as Quil took a step forward.
"I can see that. Woah, what did you do to her? Put her on drugs?" Quil asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No…" Jacob replied, rolling his eyes. "She was just really distraught with today and all. She just needed someone."
To Jacob's surprise, Quil had his buzz grin on his face and then gave a nod saying "It's good to know you're there for her, Jake. She really needs someone like you right now."
"Thanks, Quil" Jacob replied, unsurely. Quil still had the grin plastered on as Claire slowly climbed onto the bed and sat next to Leah.
"Anyways, we just came to say bye. Oh by the way, your dad, sisters and Paul left already with Embry and they wanted me to send you home when you're ready to come home" Quil spoke, crossing his arms across his chest. Jacob gave a small nod and then peered over to see Claire plant a small peck on Leah's cheek.
"Bye Aunt Leah…" Claire whispered and then looked at Jacob, smiling and leaning forward. "Your turn."
Jacob let out a soft chuckle and bent towards Claire, who then gave him the similar peck on his cheek and retracted away, and started climbing down the bed. Jacob smiled at Claire, holding firmly onto Leah's shoulders.
"Well, see you later, Jake and tell Leah we've got her back" Quil said, grinning.
"We always have and will do" Jacob replied. Quil gave one nod before taking a hold of Claire's hand and leaving the room, closing the door behind them. Jacob sighed and shifted his weight to avoid strain, and just then his phone buzzed. He lifted himself up, holding Leah properly and making sure that he didn't wake her and took out his phone from his back pocket. It was text from…Renesmee, saying:
How did today go? Is she doing okay? You were there for her right? She needs you Jacob as much as you could possibly need her. Remember that. Dad said that you already knew all this stuff but I was just making sure. Take care of her and I miss you.
See you soon, Love Ness.
Jacob raised his eyebrow at the message. He didn't know that the Cullens knew about today. Well, they probably heard it from around; it's as if you can't hide anything from them, especially with Edward around. It felt kind of weird to Jacob that Nessie sent this message saying this and since when was Edward concerned and relatable to Leah? Jacob sighed again and then looked around to where he could place his phone. He saw the bed side table and stretched to place it on it but it seemed too far. It's amazing how a grown and tall man like me can't even place a phone on the table Jacob rolled his eyes and took another attempt but ended up losing a bit of his balance but luckily being able to pull himself up. But then he felt Leah shift, letting out a small moan. Oh great, I woke her up. Way a go, Jacob.
Leah's eyes fluttered open and she began to get a view of her room. She felt something warm and comfortable that was either draped around her or she was holding and was surprised to see an arm around her shoulders and her hands around someone's firm chest. She followed her gaze up and was met with the similar brown eyes. Those memorizing eyes, the ones she could look into forever, the one she could possibly drown in, those eyes only. And they belonged to….Jacob.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" Jacob asked, with an apologetic look on his face. Leah snapped her gaze from his eyes and gazed at his face, overall before realizing that they were on her bed, together.
"I dozed off? Oh why didn't you wake me up? You must be cramping right now" Leah stated, lifting her weight from his shoulder.
"No, it's fine. Besides it looked like you needed the sleep so" Jacob said, slowly stretching his shoulder and relaxing his back on the backboard while Leah sat straight with her body angled to him.
"But you didn't have to stay, you know" she said and Jacob merely smiled.
"I didn't have to but I wanted to. It looked like you needed someone today and I was here" Jacob explained. Leah felt the sides of his lips, tug up at that remark.
"But you still didn't need to" Leah said again, looking at her lap.
"Look Lee…" Jacob sighed taking hold of Leah's hand which made Leah's head snap up at him. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I always will be; as your alpha, as a friend, as anything. This does sound corny but you mean a lot to me, Lee."
Leah gaped at his comment and just gazed at this boy's face. She could feel a small rush of heat, hit her cheeks, as well as his heat from his hand, takeover her body. His brown eyes were laid on her, softly deepening into her eyes and his soft smile, burned into her. She felt her heart speed up for a second while her breath hitched in her throat. It was a sensation she hadn't felt in a long time; or maybe something else.
"Thanks Jake…for being here" Leah managed to say, in her memorized state. Jacob's smile widened before he pulled on her hand, bringing her closer to him and eventually making her hit against his chest (where she was few hours ago).
"Don't mention it, Lee" he whispered, as he rested his chin on the top of her head. Leah let out a small and calm sigh, pulling her body closer to him. It felt good, felt secure and felt comfortable. Like she could stay like that forever or as if she was meant to be like that forever. She took in a deep breath, naturally taking in his body essence. He smelt like evergreen and something else which made his scent, intoxicating. But something bothered Leah. How come all of the sudden she started to feel so comfortable and close to Jacob? How come all of the sudden, she feels like she needs him? How come she feels so much open and alive with him? Leah closely pulled her head away from his chest and slowly lifted her head, only to be greeted by those eyes again. God, those eyes are just so… Leah stopped herself from finishing that sentence and just settled with a genuine smile.
"I hope I was help, then" Jacob chuckled.
"You were" Leah replied softly, not breaking contact from his eyes.
"Then that's good. But I have to leave now, Lee. It's 7 already" Jacob announced, releasing one of his hold around her and picked up his phone. Leah felt weird when he lift her hold, and not in a good way.
"It is? You spent half the day here. That's crazy" Leah replied.
"Not really, I was here for my beta so I'm good" He smiled which made few more shots of heat, rush to her cheeks but hopefully Jacob wouldn't notice cause it was covered by the tear trails.
"Well, bye Lee. I'll see you soon" Jacob said, turning to Leah and then leaning down to her forehead, before laying his lips on it, gently. Leah again felt her heart stop for second as her eyes closed. It felt so real and there was a strange yet amazing sensation she felt when she felt the heat from his lips as well as the heat from her cheeks, blend together. She didn't want him to let go but alas, he pulled away after minute, with smile and got off the bed and headed for the door. Leah opened her eyes slowly, sighing and then looked to Jacob, standing by the door.
"Take care. Love you, Lee" Jacob said, smiling at her and then giving a wink before opening the door and walking out, closing the door behind him softly. Leah slowly sunk down to her thighs and looked at her lap as she felt his warmth disappear from her, leaving that lonely coldness circling her. She couldn't exactly tell what had just happened and what she felt but most importantly why she felt it. It was as if she had just seen Jacob clearly for the first time ever. It was as if her eyes were finally opened and she saw what she had been missing; the obvious. She knew that she couldn't kid herself, let alone her dad. Incapable and unsure of what to do and why it should be done, she let out a small, soft sigh, closing her eyes again taking in all his fading away essences.
"…Me too."
OMG! YAY! Finally! I am so sorry for the delay but well, I thought this would be a short one but I was proved wrong again. Around 10,000. I am out of control! For this chapter it was only like parts but it turned out to be so much more. I even removed 1-2 scenes (can you imagine how much I would have written if I added them?) but still sooo much. As you can see, I tried to write 3rd person. It's so hard! I mean I'm so used t writing in thoughts and all but hey, I tried. The next chapter would be "hopefully" a bit shorter and will be out kind of soon. It's just been crazy with the MOCKS and all the other shit, so yeah. OH! And I forgot to mention the last time, I got a Leah haircut XD It's not like a bob, but it's short, sleek and sexy (its side parting so one side kind of sometimes covers one of my eyes) and kind of how I imagined Leah's hair to be in BD. In MD, she has the same style but like longer (till her shoulders).
So, Feelings are beginning to unravel. For Leah. But you can still see how she's unsure and like not fully relating or opening up to it so you'll see the progress in the other chapters. I decided to make this a week after Sam's wedding and I also made it Harry's death anniversary because it could be relatable to both, Jacob and Leah and you could see how it affected them and how they both can help each other. The whole Harry/ Leah scene was to explain Leah's stubbornness as well as the transition between her hard exterior and her soft interior. Plus, Harry is also kind of Leah's subconscious you could say since he mentions of something more between Leah and Jacob which could mostly be Leah's unsure feelings for Jake. The whole Cullens/Nessie part in this is to show how they also are relating and support Leah in all her endeavors (and maybe something else).
"Heart of metal has different interpretations to it, though they're all related. Metal represents being cold and stubborn. The metal is stopping her heart from being able to feel. Also, the metal is like a casing. The readers will later see that this metal casing will very gradually break down until Leah has broken free from this state of not being able to feel, not being able to move on."
So I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and the other chapters so far and are waiting for the other chapters ahead. And don't worry, I won't try to disappoint.
Reviews are nice and rewarding, for me. =D