The Privilege Of Being Yours
Kate stirred as the unmistakable sound of children's laughter pierced through the air. She rolled over to find that the sheets were warm, and yet there was no sign of Gibbs; only the ghost of his scent. Her eyes flicked open, revealing an empty bed. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and glanced at the time. It was only 7am. She stretched her arms above her head, making a little satisfied noise as her back cracked. Kate sat up, yawning and stretching her back out one last time before grabbing the nearest hoodie and going to find Gibbs.
She found him in the back garden, lifting Sophie above his head and spinning as fast as he could. She leaned against the frame of the back door, smiling at the sight.
"Gibbs, if you drop my niece I will shoot you."
"That's no way to talk in front of children." He grinned, placing Sophie's feet firmly back on the ground and making sure she had her balance before moving toward Kate, and kissing her lips softly.
"Good morning, Katie." He murmured against her lips.
She stole a few more, chaste kisses from him, and smiled.
"Good morning. You should have woke me."
"You needed your rest. Besides, me and Soph are having fun, aren't we?"
Sophie nodded, a toothy grin plastered on her face, and Gibbs hoisted her into the air again.
"Kate! You look like hell."
Kate whirled round, grinning at the sound of her eldest, and favourite, brother's voice, Mark.
"Mark! Hey, when did you get here?" She pulled him into a friendly hug.
"About a half hour ago. How are you, baby sister. You doing okay?"
"Yeah, I'm doing great. Have you um, met Jethro?" She asked.
Mark glanced over her shoulder.
"Yes, actually. Isn't he a bit old for you? And your boss?" He cocked an eyebrow, tauntingly.
"Not you as well." She whined. "I've already had that conversation with mom. It didn't end well."
"I'm joking, lighten up," Mark laughed, "he seems nice, Kate. Willing to listen to stories about you, interacting with the family. Besides, you seem so smitten."
"He is nice. Wait- what stories?"
"The one about that time you needed stitches on the back of your head because you were determine to prove you could paint the garage just as well as us boys, and fell backwards off the ladder."
"Really? You just had to tell him that? Ugh! I could really just kill you sometimes."
"It was cute, Kate. You've got balls, and determination." Gibbs said, slipping his arms around her waist from behind, making her jump a little, but she soon relaxed into his warm embrace.
"Yeah, that's why you hired me."
"And, why I like you so much." He placed a soft kiss on the back of her head, where he only imagined her small scar would be.
"Did you know, Kate used to have a lisp?"
"MARK!" She shrieked. "They day has barely begun and already it's 'make fun of Kate' day."
"What, really?" Gibbs turned his head to look at her face, his eyebrows raised. The exasperated he found there was enough to tell him that her brother wasn't making it up.
Mark laughed, "yeah. Took four years of speech therapy to improve. It was terrible when she was a kid."
"Well, I don't really anymore. Can we move on please."
And that's when he noticed it. She did, she had a tiny, barely noticeable, lisp. Quite frankly, Gibbs found it adorable. Her pronunciation of certain words always drew him to her, and he'd often find himself gazing at her lips, trying to work out what it was. Yet, all those hours spent with her and he hadn't been able to pin down what it was until this precise moment.
"It's you. So I love it."
Mark frowned at the comment, did Gibbs just - in a completely round about way - just say he loved her? Kate, however, was oblivious, simply leaning back into Gibbs and looking up at him.
"Right," Mark shook his head. "Breakfast is almost done anyway, that's why I came out here."
"Cool, thanks. I want to shower first though." She said, leaving Gibbs watching her leave.
"You really like my sister, don't you?"
"Very much."
Mark smiled and nodded, going to join Rosalie in the dining room to help set the table.
When Kate finished in her shower, she pulled on some jeans, and his faded red USMC hoodie. She swept her hair into a low ponytail and applied the minimal amount of makeup. She fetched Gibbs and they sat in the dining room ready for breakfast. It was clear Rosalie liked catering for her guests, because she ran the place like a hotel.
Whilst eating, once again the family's attentions turned to Kate, and Gibbs.
"Mr Gibbs, are you the reason Aunt Kate doesn't come here a lot anymore?" Thomas asked.
"Sometimes, I can be. Yes."
"Our work is very demanding. But I wouldn't have it any other way." Kate piped up.
"Caitlin was only taken by some crazed man the other week. Was that your fault?" Rosalie joined in and Kate rolled her eyes.
"I do blame myself, yes."
Kate's eyes shot over to him. "You'd also like to know that Jethro was the only one who didn't give up. The place was on fire and he risked his life for me. He didn't leave my side once."
"Your work is very dangerous Caitlin. Why do you put us through that? I understood when you were protecting the president, but now… your efforts seem a little pointless."
"For one, I love it. I love it a lot. And two, what, you wanted me to be bored out of my ass with being a stuck up lawyer."
"Language!" Rosalie yelled.
"I am very proud of our Caitlin." Andrew's comment, though sincere, was a weak attempt to redirect the conversation.
Kate sighed with relief. At least someone had her back.
Gibbs respected Andrew's efforts, but something in his gut churned at Rosalie's comment, seeing Kate's face drop, and her hands start to fidget, he knew it had got to her.
"I second that. Mrs Todd, Kate's role at NCIS is just as significant as her role in the secret service. She is strong, and intelligent, and brave and you should be very proud of her too. She puts others before herself, and those acts of selflessness seem to put her in danger, but it has also saved a lot of people. Myself included. I understand the worry, but if it's any piece of mind please don't doubt for a second that I will protect her with my life."
"I understand. But if you don't have children, Agent Gibbs, then you can't possibly understand the worry."
Her words hit him like an icy wind, and a lump formed in his throat.
"I had a daughter. I understand plenty. Please excuse me, thank you, for breakfast."
Kate dropped her head into her hands before pushing her chair back as she stood and letting it scrape across the floor.
"Thanks, mom. And you wonder why I never want to come home." She muttered, leaving the dining room.
Everyone else sat silently, shocked and slightly embarrassed by the events that had just unfolded in front of them.
Kate found Gibbs sitting on the front porch steps. He flinched a little when she touched his shoulder but soon relaxed when she sat behind him and pulled him back into her chest.
She held him tightly, and kissed his temple, down to his cheek.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered.
"No, I'm sorry."
"No it wasn't! God, I don't know how you didn't throw a chair at her. I would have. Hell, I want to." She muttered, and this made him smile weakly.
Kate didn't press him. She knew about Shannon, and Kelly, but he never talked much about it and she had accepted that.
"I usually visit them this time of year. I haven't had the time."
"Then go."
"I couldn't. It's far, and trying to get a flight on Christmas eve will be damn near impossible."
"I'll go with you?" She chanced.
"Really?" He seemed somewhat happy, surprised by her offer.
"Yes, really. They were a huge part of your life Gibbs and if it's okay, I'd like to meet them. The airports will be busy but we're bound to get a couple of returns."
He turned to face her, "you're incredible."
She bit her lip, smiling, and then placed a tender kiss on his lips.
"We'll go soon, while it's still early. Flights are what, 4 hours? That way we'll be back for Christmas tomorrow."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Come on. Let's go inside. I'll go break the news to my dad, he can tell my mom because I'm not talking to her."
"In her defence, she didn't know."
"You're really defending my mother?" She took his hand and helped him up.
"She didn't know, Kate. It just, hit home."
"Still. She's a bitch." Kate mumbled under her breath.
"Language!" He mocked Rosalie's earlier words. He wrapped his arms around Kate's waist and kissed the spot behind her ear.
"Thank you, Katie." He whispered, and his voice cracked a little.
She twirled around in his arms so she was facing him.
"Hey." She said, brushing some of the hair from his forehead.
"I'd do anything for you." She meant it too. Tiptoeing up to kiss the corner of his mouth.
Inside, everyone had finished breakfast. Some were tidying, and some were in the living room again. Kate went to find Andrew, and Gibbs slipped into the living room hoping no one would notice him.
"You said had." Came Sophie's voice from behind his seated position.
He jumped a little, and turned his head to look at her. "Sorry?"
"You said you had. Is she in heaven?"
Ah. Kelly. Gibbs nodded. "Uh-huh. Her name was Kelly."
Sophie climbed up the arm of the sofa, with help from Gibbs, and into his lap.
"Kelly is a pretty name. But don't worry. She is with Bonnie."
"Bonnie?"
"My sister. She went to heaven too."
"Oh. You know, you're a very brave little girl."
"KitKat tells me that too."
The two were quiet for a while. Everyone was busied with board games spread over the coffee table, and the sound of yet another Christmas movie on the TV.
"Do you still get sad?" Sophie asked softly.
"Sometimes, yeah."
"I do too. But it's okay to be sad sometimes. KitKat told me that too."
"Your KitKat is very smart."
"Yeah. She is. Hey, you wanna see my fairy dolls? You need to know what they look like to build me the boat." She scooted off his legs and held his hand, pulling her into what Gibbs could only imagine, was a toy room.
It was filled with bookshelves, and little tables and chairs he was sure no adult would fit in. The shelves on the walls held teddies, trucks, cars, dinosaurs, and dolls. The three toy boxed held the rest. He observed the large drawing on the wall, it wasn't finished, but he could tell it was Kate's work.
"KitKat still hasn't finished it." Sophie sighed, and pulled out a chair for Gibbs to sit in. He frowned at it, and chose to sit on the floor instead.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Kate was having yet another stressful conversation.
"The airport is an hour and half away, if you're lucky with the Christmas traffic, and then a four hour flight, then back… I don't know." Andrew was hesitant in accepting her request to leave.
"We'll be back before Christmas. It's not due to snow anymore, it'll be okay."
"This is ridiculous." Rosalie tapped her foot, impatiently.
"Mom. He lost his wife, and his child. Can you not, for one minute, just have some sympathy for the man."
"Fine. Go." She spoke harshly.
"Thank you. We'll be back tonight."
"Send him our condolences." Andrew said, and she nodded, going to find Gibbs.
In the toy room, Gibbs was telling Sophie a story.
"There was a Queen, and an ordinary man."
"What did the man do?"
"He liked to build things."
"Boats?" She beamed up at him, laying on her front.
"Exactly. But this man was sad, and sometimes he was really mean to people when he didn't mean to be. Like, Grumpy from Snow White."
"Uh-huh! What about the Queen?"
"So she, Queen K, we'll call her, she was the most beautiful fairy queen in all the land."
"And the man was ugly?"
Gibbs laughed, "he was, uh, okay."
"Did they fall in love?"
"The man thought so, but he was scared you see."
"Because he was normal and she was the fairy queen?"
"Exactly."
"Did she love the man?"
"He didn't know. But he hoped very much, someway, that the fairy queen did love him."
"So there was no happily ever after?" Sophie sulked.
"Ah," he ruffled her hair, "the story isn't finished yet."
"Gibbs. There you are, I was looking everywhere!" She smiled, popping her head round the door.
"I'll be back." He said to Sophie, climbing to his feet and joining Kate just outside the room.
"Don't say it." Gibbs warned, but she was already giggling, and staring at the tiara on top of his head.
"My lips are sealed." She managed through her laughter.
"We can leave in a few minutes, the sooner the better, I promised we'd be back tonight but it's still only early. It shouldn't be a problem."
"Okay, thanks, Kate."
"My pleasure. My parents give their condolences."
He nodded, and looked up at her again when he heard her start to chuckle.
"I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously with that on."
"Oh yeah?" Gibbs cornered her, tickling her waist. She squirmed away, laughing harder now. He took the tiara off of his head and placed it on top of hers. "There you go, fairy queen." He grinned at her.
She shot him a bewildered look bus dismissed it with a shake of her head, leaning up to kiss him.
"GIBBS!" Yelled Sophie from inside the toy room, drawing them apart.
"You know, she sounds exactly like you." He murmured, his lips brushing against hers.
"She likes you, Gibbs. She's usually the shyest little thing."
"Probably because she knows her Aunt KitKat likes me."
Kate shoved her palm into his shoulder, placing the tiara back on Gibbs, she tilted her head, and a smirk played on her lips. "Looks better on you anyway."
It was Gibbs' turn to laugh, and he backed away from her, shaking his finger at her.
"I highly doubt that."
With it being Christmas eve getting a flight, and a cab, was not an easy task. But with Kate's charm and Gibbs' ability to stare anyone surrender, soon enough they found themselves pulling up to the graveyard.
"You want a minute alone?" She asked softly, her arm linked with his.
"Uh, just a minute, yeah. That okay?"
"Of course." She smiled, untangling her arm from his and dropping a kiss his shoulder. She watched him approach the two graves, and stayed back, taking a seat on nearby bench where she could observe.
"Hey, Shan, Kelly." He spoke gruffly, and placed some flowers he'd picked up at the airport onto their graves.
"I have a… I have a Kate." He turned, looking toward Kate and she smiled reassuringly at him, letting him know she was supporting him.
"Her name is Caitlin Todd. I think you'd like her. I like her. Shan, I like her a lot. I should have known that day on air force one when she smiled at me with her big, sparkling eyes, and her little lisp that I wouldn't stand a chance. Because I got that same feeling I got when I first met you waiting for the train. She's really special. I hope that's okay."
He gulped, a lump rising in his throat. "I mean, I'll still visit. We will. I won't forget about you. I won't forget about the both of you. But with Kate I'm not trying to replace you. Instead, she's building on the holes you both left in this old bastards heart. I really think I love her, Shan."
He looked behind him again, nodding Kate over. She was at his side in a second, snaking her hand into his coat pocket and intertwining her fingers with his.
"Shan, Kelly. This is Kate," he gripped her hand a little tighter, appreciating the support. "She's… Well, she's alright. I like her." Gibbs teased. Kate nudged him with their linked hands, and smiled up at him.
"She's been really good to me. I don't tell her enough that I'm happy she's mine." He squeezed her hand and smiled at Kate, who's eyes were sparkling at him just as they had on Air Force One.
They stayed at the grave a while longer. Kate only said a few words. She was taken aback when he mentioned Bonnie and went on to explain that she was 14, and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She died only a year and a half ago, and her death hit the family hard. It was that which effectively pushed Sophie into her introverted state, because she was close to her big sister; and being so young she didn't understand death, and why her big sister would never again climb into bed with her when she had a nightmare, or style her hair into pigtails.
Gibbs told her about Shannon, and Kelly. Really told her this time. He started from the beginning, and by the end the minimal make-up Kate had applied that morning had been washed away by her streaming tears.
"And that," Gibbs cradled her face in his hands, gazing straight into her eyes, his own were watery. "is why I am so happy you were stubborn, and stormed into my life with your very full, jockstrap." He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she squeezed her eyes shut, the feeling of Gibbs' thumbs drying the tears on her face making her sigh happily.
"You found my one weakness, Kate." He ran his fingers through her hair, thus pushing it away from her face and resting his hand on the back of her head. "You."
"C'mon, Katie. Let's grab some food and head back to the airport. If we're not back in time I'm scared your mother will end up making my jockstrap will give me that empty feeling."
Kate involuntarily shivered, and Gibbs pulled her closer with an arm around her waist. She leaned into him as they approached the house. It was around 10pm, with snow falling heavily around them, coating Kate's eyelashes, and dampening Gibbs' hair. The house was entirely lit with golden lights, flashing Santa's, and snowmen, and decorations that Gibbs was sure had been out-dated before Kate was even born. Kate turned her head toward the sky, gazing at the stars.
"It's beautiful out here."
"Yeah… Beautiful." Gibbs agreed, not so much talking about the sky, but his eyes locked on her, as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear, and the flickering red, yellows, and blues lit up her face.
Kate turned her head to look at him, blushing when she found his eyes on her. He snaked his arm out from around her waist, and stopped walking, standing in front of her and holding both her hands in his.
"You, Caitlin, Katie, Kate, KitKat Todd, are absolutely..." Gibbs swung their hands, twisting them and lacing his fingers between hers. "Wonderful."
"Stop looking at me like that." She ducked her, a toothy grin blossoming on her face.
"Can't help it. I mean it, Kate. Thank you for today. I couldn't have done it without you."
She simply smiled at him, edging toward him and hugging him tightly. She rested her head on his shoulder, the sound of his heart echoing beneath her ear.
"It's cold, let's get inside. Christmas is always a busy day for the Todd's."
"Can't wait." He gripped her hand, and they took the steps up to the house two at a time. When the door opened, they were greeted with its welcoming warmth.