Okay guys this chapter is really heavy and dark, it talks about serious content (no spoilers) YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I had to do this. I didn't want to; believe me I didn't want to. There were 5 things I was scared of

Not being able to preform.

Losing the gang

Losing Mags

Repeating June 14

Going back there

Still, I had to do this, to protect someone. I wasn't ready, I would never be ready.

I walked in the familiar place, yet it seemed so distant. The scent of alcohol and aftershave burned my nose. He was sitting in his chair with a beer watching T.V. "Well, well, well, look who's here." He smirked; I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

I crossed my arms. "I'm here to make a deal." That that did the trick.

"Oh," he frowned, "I thought you liked our quality time together. I may obey if I hear what I need to hear.

I scoffed. "You have to promise never to touch anyone the way you touch me." I started, he moved his arms to show me to move on. "Because," I took a breath, "because, I can't imagine you loving someone else the way you love me. I can't live without being your love. I can't live without you because you can't live without me." I refused to show emotion. "If you prove you love me one more time, I will go down as yours."

"Tomorrow night, midnight. You know the deal." He smirked. I left. I began to walk and sat on a curb.

I was scared. I scared myself. Never in my sixteen years did I imagine me standing up to me father; then again I didn't think I would have to. I scared myself shitless. I had meant everything I had said. I couldn't imagine my father doing what he did to me to some innocent kid. I couldn't imagine him stopping. I couldn't live without him because he couldn't live without me. He used me as his toy as his playmate. He was going to tire of me and move on, I had to stop before he did. If I knew my father, and I did, he would never brake a promise.

"Morning!" Soda singsonged as he entered the kitchen. I groaned and banged my head on the table. "Well, someone had a nice night."

"Death." I muttered not moving. This wasn't how I planned on spending today like this, but I felt like shit. It was bad enough I woke up puking. My back was killing me and I swelling.

"You okay there short stuff?" Dally asked pretending to care. I hated when people called me short, it's not my fault I'm a preemie.

"I am hurt. A plague o' both your houses!" I quoted Romeo and Juliet.

"Cut the shit Century, are you okay?" Two-Bit asked and I flipped him off. "Well, that answers that. What's wrong?"

"Worse?" Johnny asked and I nodded. He rubbed my back trying to comfort me.

"I'm goin' go to my room." I mumbled doing what I had said.

It had taken me all day, but I was done. 10 letters, 10 secrets. I wanted to rip them up and curl up into a ball to die. I wanted to forget my past, but I couldn't.

I set them neatly on my desk. I sighed as a tear rolled down my check. Goodbye love, hello disease. I crawled out the widow to my doom.

I walked two blocks until he picked my up. I got in the car, my heart beating fast. He drove with his hand on my thigh slowly inching back my skirt. He tried to comfort me, telling me we would finally be together. I didn't listen I just thought of how I was saving some poor little girl from my fate.

We arrived at my childhood home much to quickly. He did what he always did, took me to the bedroom and went to work. He didn't drug me, because he wanted me to feel it. I zoned out the entire time.

Chloe; her dark curly hair and gray eyes. Would she cry? We had barely known each other but we were the close. Would she steal her Batman beanie back? Would she miss me? I could imagine my green dress she always tried to steal fitting over her light skinned body.

Janie; her bleached hair and brown eyes. I had known her since the fifth grade. I hoped she would remember when we blamed Toni for stealing her pencils when we did it. I knew she would. Would she miss me?

Two-Bit; his rusty hair and gray eyes. We met when Steve brought him over, I thought it was Steve and maybe Soda so I came into the kitchen in my Cookie Monster pj's singing the '20th century fox' theme. I hope he would still refer to me as Century. Would he still joke about me like I wasn't there?

Soda; his wheat colored hair and brown eyes. Would he tell everyone I was his long lost sister? I met Soda when Steve brought him over, I walked in in my Hersey kiss pj's belting the 'Duck Tales' theme. I loved Soda and he loved me. Would he still love me?

Dally; his blonde hair and blue eyes. Would he still call me short stuff? Dally always complained about me. I had met Dally when Soda dragged him in as I was making breakfast in my penguin pj's belting 'Hard Knock Life' from Annie. Would Dally find the stash of Kools I had hidden from poker winnings?

Johnny; his black hair and almost black eyes. He finally have one less thing to stress out about. He could take my room and get out of his house. Would he take back his old jean jacket that was too small for him but to big for me? He could get money for that. Johnny and I met when Dally dragged him over and I was in my grinch pj's belting 'This is Halloween' from Nightmare before Christmas in April.

Pony; his now strawberry blonde hair and greenish gray eyes. Would he really miss me? Did he really love me? Now he could find a girl worthy of him. Would he still care? I had met him when Soda brought him over while I was singing the 'Gilligan's Island theme.

Darry; his brown hair and green-ice eyes. Would he carry me away with two fingers? Would he be happy that a burden was lifted off his shoulders? He could get money for the phone he got me. I met him when Steve dragged me over there and he was singing 'Walk the Line' by Johnny Cash.

Steve; his brown hair and eyes. He would finally get his wish, I wish you would die! I had always known Steve hated me, even though hope was still there. Now it was gone.

Mags, Mags. Oh, god. I couldn't think about her for her.

"Ready?" He asked snapping me from my thoughts. He put my head next to his and began the count down.

"10" I told Chloe that Janie liked her.

"9" I told Janie I never knew her birthday.

"8" I told Two-Bit I secretly despised Mickey.

"7" I told Soda I was the one who corrected his homework.

"6" I told Dally that I won my first fight because of him.

"5" I told Johnny that Mags loved him.

"4" I told Pony I never knew I always loved him.

"3" I told Darry he was reason I never pulled the trigger.

"2" I told Steve I loved him.

"1" I told Mags the truth.

I heard the sound, but I was pulled away. I was never hit.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL KANDIE?!" Steve screamed.

"I did it for you." I whispered as he held me close. He cradled me as if I was a little baby.