Shades – Chapter 10
Universal Pictures owns all rights of Fifty Shades of Grey and Pitch Perfect…I only own the idea of this twisted mash-up of an alternate universe love story.
A/N: In this AU Jesse James Swanson is a mid-twenties billionaire and alumni of Barden University. Rebeca (Beca) Ann Mitchell has just turned twenty-two and is a graduating senior of the same college. Their paths cross during an interview, which will forever change their lives. This story will be told through the POV of Beca.
Warning! Chapters may include graphic sexual situations (BDSM) which may not be suitable for everyone. Reviews and/or comments are always welcome. Thank you for reading.
Last time on shades...
Grabbing my purse, I shut the lights and saunter off to my bedroom. Plopping myself on my bed I remove the envelope from my bag, take out the contract and begin to read.
A/N: The contract
You've got to be kidding!
So I'm just expected to go along with it, and be happy, and not complain? If I don't follow his orders or displease him in any way, I get punished? A punishment that he chooses suitable for my insolence?
Okay...I get it, Jesse doesn't want that kind of relationship with me or with anybody, without saying it he basically wants a sex slave who will do whatever, whenever he wants. He wants a woman to look good on his arm and will follow his every order and comply to his every whim. Who am I kidding? This isn't a romantic thing; this isn't even healthy. This is an abusive relationship masquerading as kink.
This is wrong!
The contract states it's fundamental purpose is to explore my sensuality and limits safely, with due respect for my well being which is complete bullshit! This has nothing to do with me...it's all about what he wants and what he gets.
Arrogant kinky bastard!
It's supposed to be consensual on both sides; how can I consent to something without having prior experience? I don't even know what my limits are! Again, this is all about Jesse so what I want is completely irrelevant. If he wants to do something that I don't or I'm not in the mood for it's tough luck for me. I've never done any of that stuff. Shit! It was just twenty-four hours ago I was contemplating losing my virginity.
The sexually transmitted diseases clause is good, but that should go without saying that you should disclose to your partner whether or not you're clean. Oh...and it's my sole responsibility to ensure that oral contraception be taken as prescribed to prevent pregnancy. Yeah, because it's the woman's job to make sure she doesn't get pregnant; it's not like it takes two to tango or anything.
I'm not sure what happens if there's a breach of contract considering this contract is not legally binding! It's more fiction...a long fucking work of ridiculous piece of shit fiction.
The dominant and submissive sections of the contract under the heading 'service provisions' are just too ridiculous for words. It states the dominant shall make the submissive's health and safety a priority at all times. Seriously!? I'm sure he'll be thinking of my well being when I'm suspended from cables with God only knows apparatus being used to torture me into submission, while he gets off as I surrender my free will over to him.
Jeez!
Oh...here we go. As the sub I'm supposed to have acceptance to being owned, dominated and disciplined during the term and that my body may be used at any time in any manner he deems fit, sexually or otherwise. In addition to this I'm supposed to accept the dominant as my master, with the understanding that I'm considered his property and to be dealt with as the dom pleases during the term.
What the hell!?
If I'm to interpret this, as his submissive I would no longer be a person, but a fucking doormat! He's not even required to tell me the reason(s) for being punished and can use any method he wants. This could potentially extend into my actual life, permeating all aspects of it. To me this is not just being a submissive, he's looking for a slave.
This is is some fucked up shit...
As a sub I'm not allowed to touch or pleasure myself without the dom's permission. However I'm supposed to submit to any sexual activity demanded by him without hesitation or argument. Okay, since I've never masterbated before, this isnt an issue but whatever happened to hard and soft limits?
Oh! This is good. As his own personal Barbie doll I'm supposed to accept whippings, floggings, spankings, caning, paddling or any other discipline the dominant should decide to administer without hesitation, enquiry or complaint.
Is he for real!?
So...I'm just supposed to accept these beatings without question to be with my precious fucked up billionnaire. With my hands tethered this morning I've had a little taste of bondage, which I didn't seem to mind, it was actually pretty hot so I wouldn't have any problems consenting to being blindfolded and possibly even gagged, but this is some heavy shit he's expecting me to accept without question. He says the red room of pain is more about pleasure than it is pain, well I need to know more about the pain. Does Jesse really care what I want or does he just want me to become the scum on the bottom of his shoe? This is not romantic; instead it's abusive and creates an imbalance of power.
There are safewords for my protection; yellow if I'm close to my limit of endurance and red when I cannot tolerate further demands and to cease completely with immediate effect. This seems reasonable but how do I know that the kinky bastard wouldn't get so caught up in the action and adhere to them.
The last section of the contract mentions something about pain threshold and gives a list of the types of acceptable pain/punishment/discipline. Okay dude...how about no pain and none of the above.
I knew this whole contract thing was bad, but this is beyond anything I could have imagined. I'm not even allowed to look him in the eye so how can I see his reactions and tell what he's thinking?
It's only for three months...could I actually do this and let myself be humiliated and tortured for his pleasure? He says the rewards to me out way the acts with him taking me places I never knew existed, and all I have to do is please him and he'll take care of me. I've definitely gotten a taste for sex having five mind blowing orgasms in the last twenty-four hours. It's addictive and I want more...much more, but in the long run how will this impact me? Will people notice a change? The Bella's will pick up on it without question since they live for this shit. Every weekend I'll be with him, exploring my so-called sexual self. What will happen after the ninety days is up? Will I be discarded as number sixteen? It's too much to take in at once, I can't believe I've gotten myself into this kind of predicament.
With my head held between my hands I can't help the tears falling from my eyes.
Remembering our incredible weekend together, the lovemaking, the playful banter, personal revelations, the longing gazes and soft touches, I can't believe he would present me with this attrocious document. Do I mean so little to him? Besides getting an 'A' in oral skills he won't even let me touch him, and if I agree to be his sub, I won't be able to look him in the eye so how can I love him back? It occurs to me that he doesn't want to be loved because he doesn't love himself. That fucking Mrs. Robinson made sure of that. But I do want to love him and I may have already fallen for this arrogant ass, but this is not the kind of relationship I need or deserve.
With exhaustion settling in, my mind is as tired as my body...I need sleep and I need time to absorb everything that's transpired up until now. Perhaps in the morning all of this won't seem so bad.
That night unwarranted images invaded my dreams depicting a young petite woman shackled and blindfolded to a four poster bed under the sinister gaze of one Master Swanson himself.
The next morning.
Knock...Knock...Knock!
"Hey...you alive in there?"
Abruptly brought out my sleep, I reluctantly rub my sleepy eyes and turn to my alarm clock.
Holy shit! I've been asleep for a solid nine hours. I guess after all that exercise my body was craving sleep.
Knock...Knock...Knock!
Chloe knocks again.
"You okay Becs?"
"Yeah...hold on." I say, getting out of bed, grabbing my robe and slippers. Opening the door to let Chloe in, she hands me a package.
"This just came for you. I hope you don't mind that I signed for it." She pauses. "I think it's from him."
Who else would it be from?
Rolling my eyes I thank her, take the package from her grip and toss it on my bed.
"Aren't you going to open it?"
Giving Chloe a look of annoyance I begin to open the small rectangular box...it's from Apple.
"Oh, my God! What is it?" The ginger is way too bubbly and excited. She must be a real joy on Christmas Day.
"Oh look...it's the latest generation iPad mini with retina display...just like his." My words are dripping with sarcasm.
"Umm...Beca, most women get flowers or jewelry, this dude likes to shower you with expensive collectibles and technology."
"Yeah...you noticed? He's a weirdo." My comment makes us both laugh as I pull off a sticky note written by the pompous ass himself, instructing me to read my email on my newly set up "me" account.
I'm laughing inwardly because I know what this is for; me to research the BDSM shit and for him to communicate with me twenty-four hours a day.
Turning on my new tablet I touch the "mail" icon, and low and behold an email from my master-to-be.
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
SUBJECT: New iPad
I hope you slept well and will be able to put this iPad to good use as we previously discussed. I look forward to dinner on Wednesday. Please feel free to ask me anything by any means.
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises
I hit reply...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Beca
TO: Jesse
SUBJECT: New iPad (on loan)
I slept long and very well...can't imagine why...Sir. The iPad will come in handy for research...Sir. It was also my understanding that this is not a gift and will only be a loan...Sir.
Beca...
He responds immediately.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
SUBJECT: New iPad (not on loan)
The iPad is on loan...indefinitely. By your tone I'm assuming you've read the contract. Any questions or concerns you want to discuss?
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises
I can't help but to grin...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Beca
TO: Jesse
SUBJECT: Inquiring minds
I have many concerns but they aren't suitable for email. The iPad is a nice gesture, but I don't want it or need it indefinitely.
Dude, we discussed it...no elaborate gifts, and don't you have anything better to do? Some of us actually work for a living.
Good day, Sir...
Beca
He responds immediately again, making me smile.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
RE: New iPad (on loan...again)
Laters, baby.
P.S. I work for a living, too.
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises
Switching off the iPad I can't help but to grin at his playful tone and all negative thoughts of that nasty contract go out the window. Taking a quick shower I'm quickly dressed and out the door to give Luke my resignation. He's going to think this is a result of what happened between us. Well...it's partially true however with everything else going on it does make sense to give this up.
Arriving at the radio station, Luke is in the DJ booth cueing up another music set.
"Hey" I say, getting the Brit's attention. "Can we talk?"
Luke steps out of the booth. "What's up mate?"
"Umm...with everything going on with the Bella's and with graduation around the corner, I need to resign early."
"Becky...is this about the other night?" He pauses placing his hand on my shoulder. "I told you I was sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Of course." I say hugging him. "How could I stay mad at you?"
As he starts to pull me closer, I break off contact and take a step back.
"So...when is your last day?"
"I'm done as of now. I'm sorry for the short notice, but it just has to be this way."
"He's making you do this...isn't he?"
I look away and say nothing.
"I told you I was sorry about Friday. We were both drunk and you were so...please Becky, forgive me. You were so beautiful at the club that I figured if we kissed, you might think differently about me."
"Luke, you're like the brother I never had. My feelings for you are strictly platonic. I'm sorry if I led you on but I just don't like you that way."
His expression darkens. "So you're with him now."
"I'm with nobody."
"But you did sleep with him."
"That's none of your business!" I bark back, my voice rising to a higher tone.
"So you did." He says, mumbling to himself. "Is it the money?"
"What did you say? Fuck you Luke! How dare you insinuate that!"
The DJ let's out a deep breath. "I'm sorry...I don't know why I asked that. I guess I just don't want to see you get hurt."
I can understand Luke's point of view and why he would be jealous. Luke is gorgeous with his British accent, tattoos and perfect physique. Any girl would drool over the blonde's six pack abs and chiseled features but I'm not one of them. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like having a normal guy like Luke as a boyfriend, it would seem less complicated than the way things are with Jesse but would the sex be as good? He's basically admitted his feelings for me, it would be so easy to embrace this possibility. Luke is a good guy so I'm not going to hold this little lack of judgement against him, however Jesse was right.
"Umm...I need to get going." I finally say, interrupting the awkward silence.
"Becky, please don't be mad." He pauses. "Can we have lunch sometime next week?"
"Sure." I say smiling, giving my ex-boss a one-armed hug and peck on the cheek.
Now liberated from the radio station and needing some quality alone time I enter the performing arts building. With the intention of finalizing our a-cappella sets for the competition, I'm far too distracted and decide to pull out the contract from my backpack and go through it with a fine tooth comb. The more I read of the indecent proposal the more I'm resigned to the fact that this isn't for me. With the Bella's due to arrive for practice at any time, I tuck the contract away in my bag and start working on the a-cappella set.
"Hey...look who decided to show up early?" Stacie teases.
"Umm...yeah, well I've actually been here for a couple of hours. I no longer work at the radio station."
"Since when?" Chloe asks, giving me a strange look.
"Since now."
"Is this about what happened on Friday?" The ginger asks.
"What happened Friday flat butt? Didn't you leave with that sexy billionaire dude?"
"That's right...you did." Cynthia-Rose chimes in.
"Yeah...we haven't seen or heard anything from you all weekend. What happened to you guys?" Stacie asks
Chloe shrugs her shoulders and gives me an apologetic look which Fat Amy picks up on.
"All right Shawshank...spill it."
"Guys, there's nothing to talk about. Can we please just get on with practice?"
"I don't think so Beca...something's different about you." Stacie continues, not wanting to let it go. "C'mere...let me take a look at you."
Rolling my eyes, the brunette bombshell takes my hand and guides me to the bleachers where she forces us to plop down on it's cold hard metal. Forgetting about my sensitivity I wince as my bottom makes contact with the solid surface. Stacie's mouth drops at my reaction. "You totally got laid."
Oh crap!
The room goes silent as the Bella's immediately surround the two of us and start shooting questions at me simultaneously. Getting overwhelmed Chloe comes to my rescue.
"Guys...Beca spent the weekend with Jesse at his Houston home. They took his private jet and totally hooked up." She says chuckling.
"Thanks a lot Chloe...really appreciate it." I say, smirking at the ginger.
"What's got your panties in a bunch?" Asks the crazy Aussie. "At least we now know you're not a lezbo...no offense CR." The black Bella smiles graciously at the chubby blonde.
"Amy!"
"Well...if I had me some eye candy like that, I would be tapping that around the clock."
"By the looks of it Amy, she's already doing that."
I flame crimson red at Stacie's comment as the girls continue to laugh at my expense.
"If you're all done making a mockery of my love life, can we please get on with practice? We only have a few weeks and we're no where near being ready."
"She's right" Chloe says, supporting me. "C'mon guys, may I also suggest we abandon choreography for today, some of us may not be up to twerking," The ginger pauses giving me a look, which earns her an eye roll. "Let's concentrate on our oral skills today." The comment makes me blush even more remembering how I earned my first "A".
Later that day...
After a couple of draining hours with the girls, Chloe and I head back to our place. Retrieving my iPad, I access my email and find a message from Jesse waiting patiently in my inbox for my response.
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
RE: Working for a living
I hope you had a good day. How did things go with the DJ and your Bella's?
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises.
I hit reply...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Beca
TO: Jesse
SUBJECT: Working for a living
I had a very good day...Sir. Gave my resignation to the DJ and spent a couple of hours with my Bella's...Sir.
Beca...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
SUBJECT: Do the work!
Glad to hear things went well today. How's the researching coming along?
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises
I hit reply...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Beca
TO: Jesse
SUBJECT: Nuisance
If someone could stop bugging me, I could actually do that...Sir. I would like another "A"...Sir
Beca...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
SUBJECT: Impatient
Do the research! I'd like to award another "A". The first one was so well deserved.
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises
Chuckling at his playful comment, I hit reply...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Beca
TO: Jesse
SUBJECT: Google search
What would you suggest I search for? "Kinks R' Us" or "BDSM for dummies"?
Beca...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
SUBJECT: Not Amused
Not funny, but if you must know...start with Wikipedia. No more emails unless you have actual questions. Understood?
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises
Frowning at the grumpy response, I hit reply...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Beca
TO: Jesse
SUBJECT: Bossy
Yes Sir...you're so bossy.
Beca...
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FROM: Jesse
TO: Beca
SUBJECT: In control
You have no idea...well maybe you do a little now.
Jesse Swanson
CEO, JS Enterprises
Holy shit!
Accessing the Wikipedia app, I type in submissive in the search field and am shocked by the plethora of information with regards to the origin, psychological and sociological impacts on the BDSM world. Shocked by the material and feeling somewhat nauseous, I question myself in regards to wanting any of this in my head.
I'm known throughout campus as the badass alt-girl with the scary ear spike who leads the award winning Barden Bella's. I'm also graduating this term, taking my girls to Northern Europe to compete on the world level and then moving to Los Angeles with my best friend in hopes of landing a position as a music producer. Do I really want or need this shit in my life? With my subconscious reading along carefully highlighting the controversial and questionable stuff, my inner goddess has become a kid in a candy store, begging and pleading for more. While I have to admit some of this stuff is hot, can I give Jesse my full submission? Am I even capable of it? I trust him and don't believe he would hurt me without my consent however can I give myself to him entirely while he does God only knows what to me in his playroom? Staring at the beautiful retina display it's at this time I realize I'm extremely turned on and have a sudden urge to touch myself where moisture is now pooling, but with the contract I wouldn't be able to pleasure myself without his consent. URGH! Unable to deny the fact that this new world of deviant behavior intrigues me as much as it frightens me, I need to channel my energy to safely release this sexual tension building up. Having seen enough I switch off the iPad and decide on some exercise.
Damn him!
Pulling out a pair of sweats and t-shirt, I dig into my closet and find a practically brand new pair of sneakers. With my hair up in a simple ponytail and my earbuds shoved in my ears, I exit our apartment to start my own private marathon. Passing Chloe on the way out of the building, her jaw drops as she gives me a what the fuck look since in all of the years we've known each other, she's never seen me exercise on my own accord.
He's staying at the Four Seasons which is only a few miles away, if I actually had the stamina to go there I could just demand sex from the control freak, but at the same time, I don't want to give him the pleasure knowing how I'm affected by him.
With music blaring in my ears, I make it to a park and gear down to an easy walking pace. My mind is all over the place. What am I going to do? I want him so bad, but not on his terms. Perhaps with my superior negotiating skills I can alter the conditions of the contract...line by line. Perhaps. He needs to know how I feel and what I consider acceptable.
I still would like to know why he's like this? Yes...he was seduced and forced into submission by that fucking child molester at such a young age, but why doesn't he like to being touched?
It's all just too much to take in. The jog back to the building has cleared a path in my mind and allowed me to make an informed decision. Entering my apartment I pull out my earbuds and toss my keys and I.D. carelessly onto my bed. Reaching for the iPad my thoughts are immediately composed into an email message.
FROM: Beca
TO: Jesse
SUBJECT: Goodbye
I've seen enough...it was nice knowing you.
Beca...
I hit send and wait for his reply. After ten minutes of staring at the screen, there is none. Switching off the device my earbuds are shoved back in as I lay down on my bed and close my eyes. Waking up with a start I glance at the time and it's nine o'clock, I've been out for a couple of hours. Sitting up it's at this time I notice Jesse standing in the doorway of my bedroom.
"What are YOU doing here?"
"It was nice knowing you?" He responds back with a question, his eyes are dark without emotion. "Is that it? Is that your decision?"
"You gave me no choice. I can't be that person in your contract." I say, my voice cracking.
"Tell me Beca, what kind of person do you think is being portrayed in that agreement?"
"You really wanna know?"
"Yeah...tell me."
"A goddamn slave, your fucking property, a vessel for you to play with, with no emotional attachment." I spat out, looking directly at him. "You're the first man I've ever had feelings for and I've given you my virginity, but I won't give you my soul! I've worked too damn hard to get this far and respect myself too much for that."
Just as I'm about to continue on, we're interrupted by my roommate.
"Hey Beca!"
"Hey Chloe!"
"I'm going out with Tom so I'll see ya later."
"Okay! Have fun!"
After the the brief distraction of Chloe leaving my attention is back on Jesse who seems stunned by my words.
He moves closer, kneels on my bed and strokes my cheek. "Okay...I hear you. Tell me what you want."
"Isn't it obvious? I want you, but not on these terms."
"What terms then?"
Thinking about what to say I decide to put it all out there knowing this could very well put an end to our relationship.
"I want more. I want to touch you and pleasure you the way you do for me, and I want to wake up in your arms." Taking his hand from my cheek I kiss his palm and close my eyes. To my surprise he pulls his hand away, rises to his feet and starts to move toward the door.
"NO! That's not possible! I can't give you that, Beca. This is who I am and this is all I want. I told you I don't do the boyfriend thing. You knew that before last weekend and you still let me fuck you. I was wrong about us...we're not compatible. I'll leave you now." He says, reaching for the door handle.
"That's it? That's all you've got?" I slide off my bed and onto my feet as words carelessly fall from my lips before I have the chance to catch them. "Why the hell did you let me sleep in your bed, introduce me to your mother and confide in me!? Do I mean so little to you that you would impose that goddamn bullshit contract on me?" Waving the ten page document, I practically throw it at him.
"What do you want Jesse? A brainless bimbo who won't disagree with you, who you can order around, torture and fuck any way and any time of the day? Tell me what you want because I'm dying to know!"
Without saying anything he grabs my t-shirt and slams me against a wall.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" He says through clenched teeth, lips inches from mine.
"Then explain it to me!" My words are equally filled with rage.
Instead of using words his lips painfully crash into mine. The kiss is full of desperation as our teeth strike against each other with my bottom lip being bit and sucked on violently. While our tongues duel for dominance our open mouths sloppily try to overtake the other for possession. With his body sandwiching me against the wall, his hands find my breasts as mine run through his soft mane. Panting and moaning with desire he forces his hand down the waistband of my sweatpants and plunges his fingers into me. I yell out as my knees begin to buckle, and in a swift ninja move I'm caught, swept up into his arms and lowered onto my bed where he resumes kissing me and thrusting his digits deeper inside, causing me to arch my back and groan openly. Trying to find some strength deep down inside, some will power to resist him...
"STOP!" I yell out, pushing him away.
Stilling his ministrations, he stares down at me in disbelief.
"Please stop...I can't do this." My eyes deceive me as tears threaten to fall.
"Beca?"
"I want you to leave." My voice is weak, almost coming out as a whisper.
Jesse's jaw drops as he withdraws his soaked hand while I try desperately to hold back tears.
"Get out." My voice is louder with more conviction.
"Beca...you don't mean that."
"You. Heard. Me." Through gritted teeth my eyes burn a hole right through him. "GET OUT!" I shout, taking him by surprise. He takes a deep breath and rakes his fingers through his hair.
"I never meant to hurt you." He says backing away. "I'm fifty shades of fucked up and you deserve so much better. I hope you can forgive me someday...Goodbye Rebeca."
Feeling the weight of him lifting off my mattress he rises to his feet, walks past the living room and then out the front door. As soon as the deadbolt engages I completely lose it and break down. Not since the day of my parents divorce have I felt such intense emotional pain.
Goodbye Jesse...
A/N: Sorry for the emotional cliffhanger but this needed to happen. Those of you who have read the 50 Shades Trilogy will start seeing more differences in the storyline such as the ending to this chapter. Thank you again for reading.