Roy's POV

I shifted a little before I came back to my senses. I hoped and prayed to whatever god existed that this was a dream. That Rian coming back was a dream, a stupid dream. No matter how many times I once hoped that he'd return, I wanted this to be unreal. I wasn't ready to face him. What would I say? Would I take him back and forget about Jean?

I sat up slowly, removing the damp washcloth that was placed on my forehead.

I couldn't help but cringe once I returned to my full senses. Sitting to the right of me on a kitchen chair was Rian. "Good morning, sleepy head." He said. I inhaled deeply, fighting everything I had not to hug him, not to gaze into those memorizing brown eyes. The ones I once found myself getting lost in. And I was defiantly fighting the urge of burning him into a crisp.

"Where's Jean?" I mumbled as I focused on the washcloth resting on my lap. He sighed, "He said he was going for a walk. Probably out smoking." I cringed a little, I hated that bad habit of his.

Rian chuckled half-heartily. "Still not a fan? Sure is going to lead him to an early grave."

I glared at him. "He's trying to quit." I death-gripped the washcloth. A hurricane of memories caused chaos in my head. I couldn't think straight for the life of me. It was silent for a few moments. I cleared my throat and finally asked the question I been wanting to an answer for all this time. "Why did you leave…?" I whispered. "I thought you loved me…."

"I thought you loved me too… I didn't know I could be so easily replaced." He said coldly.

This took me aback, did he really have the never to act hurt when he was the one that did all the damage? He was lucky that I didn't have me gloves on me. I slowed my breaths trying not to get more pissed. "Replaced? You think I replaced you…?" I shook my head as if trying to shake off his words. My words slow and full of poison. What can I say, I had a thin patience, especially if you've broken my heart.

"Havoc was there for me. He was there when you left and he was there to help me cope with losing OUR baby." I looked up in time to see him cringe. "How was I supposed to not fall in love with him? He gave me love when I thought I had lost it…" The last words were a whisper. Our baby. It really got me wondering how things would've been if our baby was alive.

The room was silent for a few minutes. "Do you really love him…?" Rain asked, his eyes full of sadness and conflict. I nodded silently. Of course I loved Jean. How could I not? He was a sweet and genuine guy. He was an idiot, but he was my idiot.

But this is where my emotions were conflicted. Part of me still loved Rian. Part of me will always love Rian. How could I not? He was honestly my first love, but he threw that away. The best thing to do was move on, right?

Rian sighed and stood from his seat, "Well a promise is a promise…" he mumbled as he headed to the door. He stopped before he opened the door, "We will resume the role of superior and subordinate tomorrow. If you find that uncomfortable, feel free to relocate me. Have a good day, General." He said sternly before he left.

I couldn't help but glare at the door as it closed, "Damn right I'm relocating you! To Fort Briggs if I have too!" I yelled even though I knew he was gone. I could feel tears forming, rage causing my body to shake. I wasn't angry at Rian. I knew I could never grow to hate him. I was angry at myself for letting this happen. For letting myself fall in love. And for becoming an emotional wreck.

I covered my face with a pillow and screamed into it before crying in frustration. I hated this. Feeling weak. Feeling as though I need someone to survive. When did this happen? I'd never had a love problem before Rian. I was the heartbreaker, but it's not like I did it on purpose. I had a flirtatious personality and I liked attention, who could blame me. But karma is karma, regardless the situation. "Maes… why did he have to come back?" I choked.

I heard the door open but I didn't bother moving. I was soon in a warm embrace. "Roy…" I inhaled Jean's scent. He smelled like cigarette smoke and after shave. An unpleasant mixture that I hated but had gotten used to. "You smell." I mumbled as I softly hit him with the pillow that once covered my face.

He chuckled lightly and ruffled my hair, "How are you feeling?" He asked as he looked in my eyes. I shrugged, "Physically I'm okay, emotionally not so much." I gave him a weak smile.

He pulled me on his lap and I buried my face against the crook of his neck. "What happened with Hawkeye?" He mumbled as he rubbed my back. I just stayed quiet, cuddling against him more. He sighed and played with my hair. "He's going back to the office, isn't he?" I nodded slightly, "And you don't know if you should keep him under your command or not…" I nodded again although it wasn't really a question. "Hm… I say you should, as your subordinate. He's good at what he does. He's the best sniper we have. But…" He paused and I looked up, his expression calm. "As your lover, I say relocate him. Not because I'm jealous of him, I'm obviously better looking," I couldn't help but giggle at his cockiness. "But because I'm worried about what will happen if you see him almost every day. I know it's been a year, but I know it still hurts you." I sighed, he was right. After a year I would still find myself thinking about Rian. Thinking about the child that was never born.

I shook my head slightly, trying not to get lost in thought. Jean rubbed my back, "You'll be okay… We'll be okay." He said quietly. I nodded slightly, pressing my head against his chest and concentrated on his heartbeat, the one heart that I knew for certain matched the beating of my own.