This is the chapter the language identifications change over. Noriko now has enough of Izark's language learned.

Chapter 10 I Find Myself in Turmoil

I'm in heaven. We were gifted things in Calco - clothing, pen and ink from the Doctor for me, things I don't need like jewelry as a gift from the loot of the bandits - but this is the first time Izark is taking me into a town to shop. He wants to get things that he's low on, like foods and herbs he can't find in the wild, and I want to practice listening and speaking, as well as start to get a handle on their money and how it works. We have carefully talked over the value of each coin and he's given me some to spend on my own. I listen carefully as he negotiates for the things he wants first, letting me pick a few fresh fruits and vegetables to try. When he is done, he turns to me. "Your turn."

I smile happily. "Ah, but, negotiate, I can't. It's okay?" He nods. He knows my language skills aren't up to that yet. I head straight for the shop just off the main market street that has scribe tools. He walks in, stares around, then turns away from me and puts his hand to his mouth. I pinch him. He's laughing silently at me again. Then I'm ignoring him, headed for the bound books. I'm already almost out of paper in my journal. They are expensive, so I carefully study quality and size and pick one out. I'm also almost out of ink and the nib on the pen I was given has split almost too much to use. I get a lecture on qualities of ink, carefully listening and asking questions, pulling Izark in for words that just won't translate. I pick out one that will last a reasonably long time, but isn't too expensive in quantity, because I want a lot. Then I research the nibs, pulling out my pen so that they can help me find one that fits the handle.

The proprietor names a price. I haggle, mostly silently, using the fact that I've picked out things originally I didn't really want, until I have what I really wanted at a price I can afford. I pay and we leave. "You negotiated well, Noriko," Izark says.

I grin at him. "I have good teacher." His blush is all I needed and I'm skipping on to the next place I saw. There were actually two, and I reach the first one and he sighs. He was expecting something like this, but when I skip the dresses, he looks surprised. I'm headed for the fabric. I ask for general pricing, to get a feel for how much the different kinds cost. There are thin, flexible fabrics, like thin silk or satin. There are rougher ones like mohair, only thinner. Some seem to be like wool, though I haven't seen the equivalent of sheep here yet. I finally find some that are like cotton and learn they are the least expensive. Perfect. I look at Izark, then at the various fabrics, picking out in my mind the ones I want. Then I leave the booth.

Izark follows me as I go to the next booth that has fabric and repeat the process, then it's off to where I can hear the clanging of hammer on metal. I ask the blacksmith if I can talk to his wife and teen daughters. Izark is looking interested in talking to the blacksmith, so we do some mutual conversing. I show the women the value of safety pins, they talk the blacksmith into wanting to learn to make them. I negotiate the sale of the concept for a nice pair of scissors that will last a good long time and a gift from the women of three needles each. I'm quite pleased with my trade, though I feel a little bad. I've not let my first blacksmith be the only one who knows the trade secret, and I probably didn't get enough from this blacksmith.

Izark is looking at me with a worried look as we walk away. He finally pulls me into a back alley and scolds me, saying that I shouldn't let my other-worldly presence be made known quite so much. Others in this world might come looking for me and I'd get into trouble. I bite my lip. Lots of reasons and excuses as to why it's okay come to mind. Yet...he isn't wrong, necessarily. If he showed up on Earth with his current skill set, every government would want him. I'm just a student, sure, but I do have knowledge no one else does, not that any of it would help a government here. "I'm sorry, Izark. I won't again." He nods and gestures and we move on again.

I return to the fabric shop that had the better prices and pick up a fabric and hold it up to Izark. I do this several times until the shop proprietor gives me her attention. After a bit, I finally admit I am looking for just a little to make Izark a bandanna, and I'm looking for coloring. She tries to push all kinds of fabrics onto me after that, but I insist on 'cotton'. When she finally gives up, then she wants to push volume onto me. In the end, I leave with the fabric I wanted for his bandanna - a deep blue, just deeper than the sky - but in quantity enough to make him a short-sleeved jacket as well, of his favorite length. And a sash of a lighter blue that matches nicely. I have enough of the lighter blue fabric to make me an over dress. I got it all for three-quarters what it would have cost. I'm pretty happy with my purchases, though they will be simple outfits. She also had threads, so I purchased the thread from her, too. That cut down the volume cost a little as well, since I couldn't very well afford all the fabric if I had to buy all the thread, too, right?

Izark complains it will take a third bag to carry all the fabric. I proceed to shove it all into my bag, which was never very full to begin with. I have a few coins left and I'm hunting for one last shop. I finally stop a woman in a nicely embroidered overdress and ask her where I can find the threads. She kindly takes us to another housed shop off the main market street and I'm in heaven. Yarn, embroidery threads, even knitting needles. I itch to touch everything, get permission and head into the yarns to drool. I'm dancing all over the shop and Izark is leaning against the door frame watching me, an amused expression on his face. I'm glad he is finally feeling better. He's been so...I don't know...since my run of the diseases all at once. All he will really tell me is that they happened consecutively within two days and two nights. I know he told me that it was fast, but I don't know how much faster, and I still don't know if it was a lot worse than what they would live through.

I finally run up to him and ask if other villages have shops like this. He looks at the store proprietor. It's not like he shops at places like this. "Of course," the owner of the shop says to me with a smile, though perplexed.

"Can we visit again another?" I beg Izark. He puts his hand on my head to calm me down.

"Later," he says, his eyes perhaps a little sad. That calms me down more than anything.

"Thank you, Izark. Then I buy some today, some later." He nods.

I head straight for the embroidery thread. I want to decorate his bandanna, and if I have time, the front of his jacket on the lapels, just a little. That, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he's going to ruin it again, or any of the others, and I want to see if I can save them by embroidering the cuts and slices. I almost could have saved the one he ruined fighting the bandits, except he'd left the hem in shreds so bad it would have had to have been cut too short. I pick out black and light blue threads to match the light blue the sash will be, then pick out a few standard colors, just a little, for repairs to his other clothing. I take twice as many colors with me to the counter as I need and haggle down to what I want. It's still a little more than I have. I look at the colors one last time, then set aside one of the standard colors. I can get it later. I put down the coins I have and let the owner know it's that for these or nothing. He takes it and I get my threads, thanking him. Those go in my bag as well, and we leave the store.

"All done, Izark," I say cheerfully. He nods and takes off. I grab the back of his jacket and skip a little to keep up with him.

He suddenly stops and turns to look at me, a confused look on his face. "Why not a brush?"

I freeze and stare at him. "Oh. I forgot. I was thinking of hands busy." He turns us towards the beauty booth. The place that sells hairbrushes also sells hairpins, jewelry and such things. They, of course, want to sell him a piece of jewelry to give to his "girlfriend", is what I think the word they are using means. He keeps blushing when they use it. I grin to myself. I like to see him flustered like this. He almost lets it get the better of his negotiating skills, though. I skiff in and add a comb and a particular piece I have my eye on. Izark finally groans and accepts. I thank him profusely, hanging on his arm as if I am his girlfriend, and drag him away, chatting happily. When we get out of sight he irritatedly takes his arm back. I immediately grab his sleeve and hold on to it, then move to the back of his jacket, which lets him have his arms free. I know he wants to be able to access his sword at a moment's notice.

"Noriko, why did you tease me?" We are outside of town and Izark is irritated with me.

"Because we need a [disguise]. Mmm...," I put an air mask on. He doesn't get it. I pace in a little circle. "What is Noriko and Izark?" I ask. He freezes and fear is in his eyes. I'm surprised to get that kind of reaction. That's pretty deep. His worry in town must have things under it he hasn't told me. So, no one is to know you're the Super Knight and even more, no one is to know you have taken the Fairy Queen, hmmm? I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Izark, you say not to say where you find me. You say not to show new small metal [technology]. Is it not good to say I am girlfriend to hide? Is a better way to hide?" I frown. "No. Is better way. Have you stolen me?" He goes pale. That surprises me also. I nod, and crouch down. "Family - husband, wife - join with other family say yes." I draw a couple, hand in hand, with other people around them. "What word?" He gives me the word for "marriage". I memorize it. "Man-woman marriage join when other family say no?" I hide the man and woman from the other people in the picture by cupping my hands around them, and look up at him. He pauses, then reluctantly gives me the word for "elope". I'm not surprised they have one here, too.

I nod. "Izark and Noriko elope. Run from family. Then okay we are together, and we are hiding our meeting." I'm blushing furiously now. Even I'm uncomfortable with the story. I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with the thought he's stolen me, either, or rather that's how he sees it. It makes me want to understand better - our meeting. I frown at the picture, take a breath to get rid of the rest of the blush, and look up at him. He's as red as me, and looking away, his arms folded. It looks like he's going to take a bit longer to recover. I erase the picture and stand up. I'm feeling...anxious, I guess.

I turn to walk away, and he reaches out to grab my elbow. I look back at him. "I'm sorry, Noriko," he says contritely.

I look at him, then finally say, "Someday I wish to hear truth, Izark." He looks away, not able to say it, the fear and worry in every line of his body. I sigh. "Not today okay, Izark." I take his hand off my elbow, then hold his sleeve cuff and lead him back to the horse. He pauses, then helps me up as usual, but there has been a change, today. It makes me sad.

I cut the fabric at a quiet campfire that night. We aren't speaking, though it isn't a mad quiet. More of a mutually sad one, neither of us able to breach the new wall. Not wanting to waste fabric, I'm going to make the over dress and the jacket rectangular. The stitching will be easier also. I do approach him and make him stand long enough for me to get the correct measurements for the cutting and where the sewing for the armseye needs to stop, and where the collar starts and stops on either side of the front. Then I let him go. That was too much touch for him tonight. I work with my back to the fire to hide my tears. It's made me feel all alone in this world again. Made me question why I am here at all. When I get done cutting his out, I put it all back in my bag and lie down. The depression is overwhelming tonight. Sleep is best.

We are headed somewhere with a purpose. I don't know how far we have to travel, but Izark has been pointing us a particular direction and there is no hesitation in him in the mornings, and the evenings make him impatient. I'm about at my limit and have started to snarl and snip, though I cut it short as soon as I realize it. There's no point in taking it out on him. He isn't the one who brought me here, he just got to me first, or something. More likely it was accident.

We do less talking on the road, though I studiously keep up at least a few hours every morning and afternoon. My hands are constantly busy stitching. It only took about four days to finish his jacket, in form. Then three for my overdress. The bandanna was stitched quickly, but now I'm working on the embroidery on it. That's a bit harder. I prick myself regularly with the needle when the horse jostles me. I finally sigh in frustration when it's one too many times and put my hands down on the back of the horse in front of me, just holding my work loosely. I close my eyes. The surroundings have been changing from wild forested land to more tamable land and we are seeing more farm houses and barns. I can tell civilization is nearing. Wherever he's decided to leave me for safekeeping is close.

There is a sudden cry in the distance, then several. Izark's head whips around to where it's coming from. The hero has awoken. I put my work away in my bag, freeing up my hands for my knife, which Izark has taught me to keep hidden underneath my sash, and nod. I don't know if he's been waiting for my readiness, but he is turning the horse towards the sounds and urging it forward. He slows it down and hesitates when we get close. "Izark, I do horse. You run." I reach for the reins. He hesitates again, but I've been between his arms and hands for almost three months now. I take them, stop the horse, and push him to get off. He looks at me from the ground, his eyes worried, but possessive. "I will follow," I promise. He nods and takes off. If he can take care of it before I arrive he'll feel better also.

I pull my bag and Izark's up off the horse and put them over my shoulder. If the horse spooks or throws me, I don't want to lose my efforts, or his remaining cash. I don't care if we lose the horse, really. It's gotten too uncomfortable for us to ride this close together any more. I do briefly entertain running away, but I'd rather trust him. I still know too little about this world, except that 'here be monsters' and I'm not capable of protecting myself from them. I send the horse on towards where Izark went. I can feel him, so seeing isn't necessary.

I've been experimenting with how far away I can get from him before he worries about me being gone. It isn't time, it's distance - for him too. Right when I'm getting anxious, he's coming to look for me. Something has tied us together in this world, and I don't think it's the original imprinting that I started with. Since I first noticed it in Calco, I don't think it was the ordeal of the diseases, either. It is stronger than in Calco now, too. I can go farther and still feel him than when I first felt him again in town. He's stopped, now. He must have reached whomever was making the noise. I hear calling. Whoever it is has seen him as well.

I continue forward, slowing cautiously as we get close, the horse and I. Suddenly, the horse snorts and stops stock still, except for trembling. Whatever it just got the scent of is an enemy to it. There is a rustle in the underbrush and the horse rears, turns and runs. I get dumped to the ground, but I let go. I don't want to go that way. I still need to get to Izark. I watch the underbrush carefully, where it rustled, but nothing moves again. Slowly, I pick my way towards Izark, hiding as best I can as I go, my knife out and in my hand. It's been a while since I've felt afraid. A long time since I've felt terrified. Right now, I'm just worried and cautious. Izark is on the move, but slower than he normally goes - more at human speed. I head for him more quickly, then see him ahead on what looks like a dirt road. He is with four men, and they are fending off skeletal ant/spider things. Yuck. More monsters, and they outnumber us. I follow along as best I can, but without getting too close. I know he knows where I am.

I work at getting ahead of them and Izark works to hold off as many of the monsters as possible. His sword blows are sending more back than they should be. It's new to me and I add it to the list of super powers, but it's one I want to investigate further. I break out of my cover, not having any choice, then see that I'm not alone. "Izark! They're already coming around the forest on this side! They'll block you in! Hurry!" It comes out in a mixture of my language and his, my worry garbling things. He got it, though. The men he is protecting break off and run my way. I run across the street and try to draw the monsters away from the road a bit. It works, but I'm nervous. I see the four men run past my position, then Izark is suddenly backing away from his last blow, reaching me in a single jump, and grabbing me around the waist for a super leap that puts us behind the four men. That would be why I wasn't afraid.

He stays behind us and we run like crazy. That works for a while, but we get exhausted after too long. Izark takes the bags from me, since I'm falling behind. We've been riding, not walking, so I haven't worked up the stamina for this, though the fighting practice helps some. He asks if there is a place we can hide and one of the men nods and points up the next hill. There is a house and barn there. With a goal we get a bit of a second wind, but the sun goes behind the hill next to us and suddenly there is the sound of the insect monsters all around us in the woods. Izark looks around, worried, and I see his eyes start to change, lighten, the pupils going narrow. He's reached his first-level limit already and is summoning the second level. I'm glad he has it to call on as the insects start to head our way, faster than we can run anymore.

When they get too close, Izark swings his sword, but it cuts a swath clear that is even larger than when he was doing it first level. I've seen this in manga and anime. It's using chi through a focus, and his focus is the sword. Makes a nice disguise if no one's paying much attention. I stop paying attention and focus again on running. We have to cross over a bridge over a small stream and it looks okay, but one of the insects climbs out unexpectedly, disturbed by the first person to cross. It catches one of the men in the side and he is thrown. Izark blasts the insect, then fetches the man who was felled, carrying him over one shoulder. The more insects follow us, the more are attracted to us until every ten or so steps we run, Izark has to do a general blast so we can keep going. He's moved to the central front of the group so he can do it in front of us now just so we can reach the door to the house.

We practially slam into the door, the first man wrenching it open. We fall inside and it is slammed shut and barred. I'm panting, resting on my knees, but I look up to Izark. He is returning quickly from second level fighter to first level. Good. Don't need to be showing those pearly whites to this group. I drop my head and just pant. "Aaagghh!" I jump out of my skin. Everyone else does, too. One of the men had screamed and the rest are now scolding him. It's hard to follow when they all talk at the same time. I catch his answer, that there are "stones" not here, but in the barn. The others moan and complain.

"I will get them," Izark says calmingly. They disbelieve, but he tells them he can "word". I memorize it, then watch as one of the men opens the door and Izark does with his hands what he had been doing with his sword and an entire large swath of insects are blown away in a path from the doorway. Izark is out the door and it's slammed shut and barred again.

The men talk, looking at each other. I distract them. "This man injured. Help him." While they work on that, I think about what Izark just did and the word for it. I'm not sure if there is a word on Earth that is equivalent, since the power isn't. Also, he said he could do it, already knowing it. It isn't a new "second level" power to him. Just to me. He may have used it in the fight in Calco for the first time in front of me, but I am not the reason why. It adds to my knowledge...it adds to the hardening of my lonely heart...and it adds to my feelings of worthlessness.

Izark comes back with whatever he was sent for and the insects stop trying to come in. Everyone is in agreement that by morning it should be safe to leave. The insects are only a problem at night and in the hills as the night is descending enough to cast shadows. Shadow insects. Izark and I pretend to be an eloped couple when they start asking about us. It's the only thing that is likely to work. I listen to the men talking about the sad political state of the area - the soldiers in the area that are bullying the citizens, the fighting between factions, then they mention things I haven't heard before and Izark goes very still. "...flower insects in the Sea of Trees?" My eyes dilate and my heart stills. I am listening very carefully. Then, "...the Awaken[-suffix] has come in the Sea of Trees. ...Means the Sky [Word] will wake up." I look at Izark, my eyes wide.

He knows I'm looking but is looking down until he turns to me and with super sticky sweetness says, "You must be tired, Noriko, after that ordeal. Let's make your bed." I want to hit him so badly.

"Yes, Izark," I say standing without looking at him, and I can't keep the bitterness out of it...nor the sorrow. "It has been hard."

I spend much of the rest of the early part of the night trying to figure out what I know he won't tell me. What is the "Awakening", and what does that word mean that was attached to "sky", what is it that will be woken up, and what do they all expect to happen when it does? Our beds are next to each other and he carefully put me against the wall and him between me and everyone else, including the door - not that I can leave with the insects still surrounding us. I sleep with my back to him, his warmth not a comfort tonight, though I know if we were farther than about twenty-five feet from each other we both would not be able to stand comfortable for long. Deep in my heart is a thing I don't want to learn yet. A new fear born. If something was found in the "sea of trees", and that is where I came into this world from, and the spiky worms are called flower insects...am I the Awakening? And...what does that make Izark? Is it the reason we're hiding who I am, who we are? I sigh and shiver. Sometimes it's a burden to be too intelligent, to find it too simple to reason out answers. I work hard and shut my brain down, finally forcing the tiredness of my body win.

We leave first thing in the morning, right after breakfast. We are both wanting out of this house and to put distance between us. The men couldn't help but feel the 'strain in our relationship' and spent time trying to talk Izark, and me, into reconciling. It didn't help, so I politely told them that it was okay. It was just a minor disagreement we would surely work out soon. All relationships have them. We are walking in the same direction as we were going before. Izark with his long strides, me with my shorter ones. I'm falling behind, but not too worried about it. I realize my feet hurt and I've been in a bit of a daze for a while now. I sit down and take off my thin local shoes. The grass feels nice between my toes. I pull out my Earth shoes, with the cleaned socks tucked into them and put the others in my bag. I decide I'd rather walk barefoot for a while and let my feet breathe. Besides he's getting too far ahead and I can feel the anxiety rising. I don't want it to call him back.

I only get about one hundred feet. My feet were already nearly bare so they hurt again. I sit down again and pull on my socks, then put on my shoes. Hmm. My feet have either grown or widened not being in these shoes for so long. I loosen the ties and wiggle my toes. It may not work, but having a different sole is good for now. Izark finally stopped to wait for me. I can tell he's irritated. Probably thinks I'm being pokey on purpose. ...Maybe I am, but it was for a good reason. He actually waits for me to catch up, mostly. When he sees my Earth shoes on he stops, perhaps remembering why I wanted to keep them. He turns away and begins to walk again, but this time he goes a little slower, not letting me get more than ten feet behind him. I play with him for a bit, then stop. It isn't really kind. I really just wanted to know if his sense of distance was really that good. Of course it is. I put my head down and just walk, clutching the strap of my bag where it is slung over my shoulder. I could walk blindfolded behind him.

Izark stops and I'm drawn to him, stopping when I feel him pushing back on that thread that binds us. I stop, lift my head, open my eyes, and look at him soberly. He's only three feet in front of me. His look is interesting, but I don't know what it is saying. "Noriko." I wait. "I want you safe. With me is not safe. At this place is one who I trust. Please stay with her."

I duck my head, then look at him again. "I will stay. ...You will come back." He rears back, his eyes wide. I motion between us. "This thread...even you cannot fight. I will wait." He gets an angry look on his face. "I don't like it too. I would let Izark free. If Izark was free, and Noriko was free, Noriko could go."

Izark's eyes change ever so slightly. "Where would Noriko go?"

I look at him in the eye and don't hide the tears as they drip. "Home."

He tips his head. "Can Noriko go home?"

I shake my head. "I don't know." It makes my tears come faster.

He is silent for a moment. Softly he asks, "What would you do if you cannot go home?"

I look away. The answer to that hurts. "If Izark was free and Noriko was free...today...I would die." He moves and I run, moving out of his reach, then past him towards the city below us in the valley that climbs up the hills on the other side of it, covering a smaller hill in the middle of it, hoping that if I am at least going the direction he wants me to, he will leave me alone. For just a brief moment, I can feel it. He wants to kill me. I just gave him permission and he wants to follow through. It gives my feet even more wings, because my logical self-preservation side knows that if don't, I'll turn around and embrace his blade with my breast of my own accord. I'd rather die by his kind hand, having come into this world by it, than any other way.

I'm trapped in strong warm arms. The thread was pulled too far; the anxiety interfered with his personally chosen emotions; he couldn't let me go. "I do not want Noriko to die. I want Noriko to be safe, to live." Liar. You do not get to choose right now, but you lie. You also would kill me to have your freedom, if you could. But I don't say it. The same thing seals my lips that makes him say the words. All I can do is sob into his chest, crying again for my lost home, my lost freedom, and now my lost comfort. I cry hard enough, and long enough, that I fall asleep in his arms.

I wake several hours later, somewhat surprised I'm still living. Izark is sitting close by. He wrapped me in my blanket and my bag was my pillow. I am reminded of how he took care of me when I was so sick. I sit up, pulling my blanket even closer to me. I can't look directly at him. "I'm sorry, Izark, for not gratitude. You have worked hard keep-ing me alive. ...I will go, and live." I gingerly look up into his eyes. I see a thing I had not understood before in his eyes.

I have not been stolen by a kind super fairy knight. I have been stolen by a dragon and am his most prized treasure. He is taking me to a place where I can be kept safe while he goes to make a cave to protect me in. I'm not sure even Izark realizes it, though. Only the blue eyes with the slit pupils looking at me know it. I bow to that presence. "I will be obedient." When I look back up, Izark's eyes are returning to normal.

He unfolds his arms and stands gracefully, retrieving his own bag on the way up. "Come." I rise, fold my blanket, put it back in my bag, and follow him down the hill towards the city, never getting less, or more, than ten feet from him until we reach the city.

I latch onto his jacket again, knowing now that he finds that much contact comforting, and appropriate for my station. I find it comforting to understand what that station is, in relation to him. I find it disturbing, yet exciting, to have received the revelation he is a dragon. If the Awakening is supposed to awaken a sky something, in my own world a dragon would count. Already I am awakening it. I know, because it looked at me. I'm not afraid, though. I want to stand with him. In the quest, that is his reward at the end. He found and rescued the Fairy Queen, has worked hard to protect her and keep her. When it's over, that is his prize, the only prize I can give him. Myself.