"A Gift of Life"
Chapter 10
Agog with surprise that was tainted with faint horror as she heard Felicity call out her name at the height of her arousal, Caroline couldn't restrain a soft but shocked, "Good God."
Kate instantly pressed a dark finger against her wife's mouth to stifle any further comments and mimed a silent 'sshh' while keeping a tight rein on her own "I told you so" that desperately wanted to escape her lips.
Nervously the pair peered out through the narrow gap at their end of the sliding doors of the wardrobe to see if the noise had been sufficient to alert Felicity to their presence. However, to what seemed like their extremely good fortune, the woman had been too caught up in the throes of her self-induced pleasure to hear anything above her own salutary cries as she remained blissfully unaware of her captive audience.
Eventually Felicity's revelry subsided, the writhing ceased and after taking a moment to regain her composure, Kate and Caroline watched as she slowly eased herself off the bed and gave her body a full, self-satisfied stretch.
"What a strange woman." Caroline thought to herself.
Both Caroline and Kate had then assumed or, at the very least, hoped that Felicity would now put her clothes back on and leave the room, so it was with renewed dread that they watched her ignore her previous outfit that lay on the floor and pad barefoot across to the wardrobe.
Shit! She's going to put on a different outfit for dinner, Caroline realised with rapidly increasing trepidation.
Inside the wardrobe and without making a sound, Kate and Caroline pressed themselves as far back as they dare. They each took a deep breath and held it tightly.
Caroline could hear her blood gushing in her ears and could feel her heart racing in chest. She attempted to steady it as the last thing she needed right now was to have a heart attack.
Try as she might, she could think of no satisfactory way out of this mess that her lustful desire for her wife had inadvertently found them in. There was no obvious or even not-so-obvious explanation that they could possibly give Felicity as to why she and Kate were standing knee-deep in bags of vacuum-sealed clothing in the back of her wardrobe if and when she opened the door and found them there; there was no way of talking themselves out of such an embarrassing situation and no way of denying what they had heard and seen. It would be humiliation and red faces all round. They were all just going to have to agree never to mention the predicament to anyone EVER, although Caroline could see the potential in years to come….many years to come….for them to look back and have a laugh at the whole situation.
Caroline considered that maybe it would be better and they could preserve a little pride if they stepped out of the wardrobe now and owned up rather than have Felicity open the door and find them both cowering behind the expensive suits.
She was about to signal her intention to Kate when, all of a sudden, the door at the other end of the wardrobe slid part way across in front of them, putting them in almost complete darkness.
Hidden by the line of suits, they sensed rather than saw Felicity flick through a number of the dresses and gowns that hung at the other end of the rail and eventually remove one of them. They then watched in disbelief as the door slid shut again, their presence miraculously going undetected.
As they slowly, carefully began to breathe again, Caroline and Kate stared at one another in wide-eyed amazement, each of them now daring to think that perhaps they might escape with their dignity intact after all.
Felicity removed the dress she had chosen from its protective, plastic sheath and its hanger, undid the zip and stepped into it. She then removed her bra as she no longer needed it and tossed it onto the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. The dress had a halter-style neck tie which she fastened and then closed the short zip at the back. Like the previous outfit she'd worn that day, this one was full-length, free-flowing and of a similar, pale aqua colour. It was very summery with its plunging neckline revealing a provocative amount of cleavage, her shoulders bare and a considerable amount of bare back as well.
After using the mirror to make a few small adjustments here and there to her outfit, Felicity unexpectedly strode towards the wardrobe once again.
Caroline gave Kate a look that asked, "What the hell does she want now?" as they each took a second deep breath and tried to quell the renewed panic. "Oh! Of course….Shoes!"
Just as Felicity was about to slide back the door once again, she stopped, turned back and made a decision. The shoes she had worn that morning would suffice.
Unable to believe their luck, Kate and Caroline watched as Felicity went back to the pile of discarded clothes at the end of the bed, picked up from amongst them the pair of shoes she'd been wearing and slipped them on. She considered her choice for a moment and decided they were a suitable match.
After tidying her hair and checking her make-up, Felicity took one final look in the mirror to assure herself that all was as it should be. Satisfied that all was good, she headed for the door.
Despite the urgent need to escape their confinement, Caroline and Kate waited what seemed like an interminable minute or two to make sure Felicity was well gone before sliding open the wardrobe door and with almost as much relief as two divers on their last breath reaching the surface, they finally stepped out.
Wordlessly and with their pulses still racing, the two women also did a quick spot check in the mirror and straightened their slightly crumpled clothes….Kate hurriedly zipped up the back of Caroline's dress…and then they too made for the door.
Caroline cautiously opened it and checked in each direction down the hallway. Convinced that the coast was clear, she ventured out and signaled for Kate to follow. Although the urge to run was almost overwhelming, in order to remain inconspicuous they forced themselves to walk albeit at a faster than normal pace as they retraced their route back down the stairs, through the kitchen that was now bustling with staff carrying meals back and forth, across the lawn and eventually stopped just outside an entrance to the marquee. Looking inside, they could see that guests had taken their assigned seats and meals were being placed on the tables.
It suddenly struck them how very lucky they had been in successfully avoiding an extremely awkward situation. The two women looked at each other and immediately collapsed in each other's arms in a fit of uncontrollable laughter brought on as much by their sense of reprieve as the thought of what had actually happened.
"What's so funny?"
Caroline released her hold on Kate, ran a finger under each eye to remove any mascara that her tears of laughter may have caused to run and turned around to see a puzzled and slightly concerned Celia peering at them.
"Oh, it's nothing, Mum," Caroline replied with a dismissive wave of her hand as she struggled to regain her self-control, "It's just…..nothing…"
Kate, too, attempted to hide her amusement by covering her mouth with her hand but the upturned edges of her lips gave her broad smile away as did the mischievous sparkle in her eye.
Having to accept for the moment that they weren't going to share the joke with her, Celia said, "We've been looking everywhere for you….the reception is about to start and Gillian wants you up at the main table."
"Sorry, Mum. We were unavoidably detained," Caroline said apologetically but still with a burble of laughter behind her words, "Would you mind telling Gillian I'll be there in just a moment, please."
Hardly satisfied with that excuse…..Did they think she had been born yesterday?... But not wanting to fall out with them here and now, Celia was about to turn and deliver the message when she stopped and asked, "Where's your jacket, Caroline? Weren't you wearing a jacket before?"
Caroline tried to keep the sudden panic out of her face as she gave Kate a quick sideways glance and then replied weakly, "I took it off inside. I'll fetch it later."
With at least that mystery solved, Celia headed off to inform Gillian that Caroline had been found and would join them shortly.
As soon as her mother was out of earshot, Caroline turned to Kate and in a flustered whisper exclaimed, "I've left my jacket in the wardrobe!"
"Should we go back and find it?" Kate suggested without any sort of real conviction for the idea, "I could go back and get it while everyone is busy eating."
Caroline thought for a moment and then replied resignedly, "No, leave it there. It will probably be ages before Felicity even discovers it, if ever, and she won't know how it got there. We're not going back to that room….ever."
oooOooo
The remainder of the evening was comparatively uneventful. As Matron-of-Honour, Caroline was placed at the main table beside Gillian who was looking much more relaxed now that the formalities were over and with the help of the free-flowing champagne which Caroline had noticed with a sense of dismay, the bride had taken full advantage of. Having had more than enough excitement for one day, Caroline had decided to stick to the sparkling water that was provided on each table.
Kate had been seated at the table immediately in front of the main one and shared it with Celia and Alan as well as Raff and Ellie. Fortunately, Gary and Felicity were at another table with guests Caroline didn't recognise…..friends of Robbie or Gary's perhaps.
With the remnants of the meal cleared away, the speeches delivered and the happy couple saluted with a number of toasts, the hired DJ began to play a more lively set of music and guests, as well as the bridal party, were enticed from their seats and up onto the dance floor.
It had been a long, exhausting day one way and another so at the earliest opportunity Kate and Caroline prepared to leave, citing the long drive home and having a small baby to take care of as their reason for not staying and partying on.
Before going, they did the rounds of good-byes, firstly to Celia and Alan who would be spending the next two weeks at the farm while Gillian and Robbie were away on their honeymoon in Majorca and then to Raff and Ellie and, of course, little Emily-Jane.
It was while they waited at the edge of the dance floor for an appropriate moment to say farewell to Gillian and Robbie that the first familiar and poignant chords of the song, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow," began to play.
Kate turned to her wife, capturing her salient blue eyes in her gaze, extended her hand and whispered softly, "Do you want to dance?"
With all the memories of that Christmas and the feeling of happiness that the tune never failed to evoke, Caroline could only clasp Kate's outstretched hand and nod her consent as her voice constricted with emotion and inexorable tears threatened to spill.
In return, Kate gave her the most loving of smiles and then led her to join the other couples on the dance floor where she subtly guided Caroline's arms around her waist before gently drawing her wife's lips to her own and capturing them in a tender, lingering kiss as they let the words and tune of the song sweep them back to that night when all had been forgiven and their life together had truly started.
Inevitably the song came to an end and as people left the dance floor Caroline and Kate managed to attract Gillian and Robbie's attention in order to say goodnight. Amidst the hugs and kisses to the cheeks, promises to call and catch up when the pair returned from their honeymoon were made and then the two women were finally ready to leave.
They collected their goods and chattels as well as baby Flora who they had left with Celia and headed for the Jeep.
"Shouldn't we say good-bye to Gary and Felicity?" Kate suggested warily as they were about to leave the marquee.
"I suppose it would be impolite not to," Caroline replied weakly, "however, I'm not sure I can talk to the woman and keep a straight face…not after…you know…what we saw…heard."
"It would be a bit rude if we didn't," Kate added as she struggled with her good manners and her desire to leave, "do you think they'd notice if we …"
Their decision was made for them as they heard a voice not too far away calling out, "Caroline! Kate! Are you leaving already?"
The two women had no choice now but to stop and wait as Felicity approached them.
"Are you going?" Felicity repeated as she joined them.
"Yes, I'm afraid we have to," Caroline replied using a considerable amount of restraint as she felt another bout of laughter boiling below the surface. "It's quite a long drive home at this hour and, well, Flora gets tired and cranky if she's up too late so we need to put her to bed."
"You could sleep here for the night if you want to stay and party," Felicity generously offered, "there's plenty of spare bedrooms…..and I'm sure we have a cot somewhere for Flora."
Both Kate and Caroline were forced to look away for a second while they tightened control on the giggles that threatened to break free. Kate found her composure first.
"That's very kind of you, Felicity, but we both have things we have to do back in Harrogate first thing in the morning so we'd best be off….Thank you for a lovely day….evening….day."
Felicity unexpectedly grasped the hand of each woman, kissed them both on the cheek and with their hands still held she stood back a little and beamed a smile at them.
"You two make such a beautiful couple…Hopefully your example will encourage others to come out of the closet."
The mention of the word 'closet' was almost too much for both women. They needed to leave and quickly.
Most helpfully, it was at this moment that a tired, hungry baby Flora decided to express her discontent at being ignored as she broke out into loud, demanding cries.
"We'd better go," Caroline stated as she pointed towards the car. "Say goodnight to Gary for us."
"Oh, Caroline, before you go, didn't you have a jacket? You haven't forgotten it have you?"
Thinking quickly, Caroline replied, "It's in the Jeep….I was a bit warm so I took it off."
"Oh…Okay…and remember you're welcome to come again anytime…Bye…Bye-bye."
With Flora in tow, Kate and Caroline rushed to in the direction of the driveway where the car was parked.
Once Flora was safely secured in the back seat and Kate and Caroline were sitting up front, both women took one look at each other and for the second time in as many hours collapsed into fresh peals of laughter.
oooOooo
The McKenzie-Dawson household woke up on the Sunday to a morning of drizzling showers and a sunless sky which made the world beyond the window appear in monochromatic shades of grey. By early afternoon the gloom had set in and the rain was constant and heavy.
Lawrence and Lily had planned to visit for Sunday lunch which Caroline had been looking forward to. During the week she had bought all the makings of a traditional Sunday roast. However, late in the morning she received a phone call from her son explaining that because of the rotten weather they thought it best to not to venture out and asked if they could make it the following Sunday instead. Completely understanding but nonetheless disappointed, Caroline assured them that she wasn't upset with them and that she looked forward to catching up with them next week.
Instead of the roast beef she had planned, Caroline prepared a simple lunch of soup, cheese and some crusty bread.
As the day dragged on the house seemed to take on the dreariness of the weather with only Flora's antics acting as a lively distraction from the heavy mood that had gradually enveloped them. Both women knew that it was as much the prospect of what lay ahead of them with the trial starting the next day as the rainy weather that had subdued their spirits but neither was willing to open that can of worms. Caroline didn't want to make Kate dredge up the disturbing memories of that day any sooner than absolutely necessary and Kate didn't want Caroline worrying about her. However, all of their hesitation and avoidance was in vain as Kate nevertheless spent most of the day mulling over the accident, wondering what it was they expected her to come up with that wasn't already in the witness statements police had collected at the time while Caroline kept a sharp-eyed vigil on Kate to make sure she didn't become too upset or depressed.
Throughout the course of the day they had tried all manner of distraction, from attempting to watch movies and read books…..Caroline rang her mother….twice…..while Kate sorted through Flora's baby clothes making a bundle of those she had already grown out of...At one stage, they even resorted to some house-cleaning but inevitably Kate's thoughts settled on both the accident and the trial and the distraught expression on her face caused Caroline great concern.
Every so often during the day Caroline had ventured to ask, "Are you alright?" to which Kate unfailingly answered, "I'm fine."
Although Caroline wasn't convinced for a minute that she was actually fine, there was little more she could do.
It wasn't until that night, when they both lay in bed with the rain still rat-a-tatting on the roof, that Kate's restlessness finally convince Caroline that they needed to talk.
She rolled over to face her wife, putting an arm across her hip and drew herself in close as she whispered, "Why won't you let me help you through this?"
"What do you mean?" Kate asked quietly, hearing the hurt in her partner's voice.
"I know you're worried about tomorrow and the trial but you won't talk to me about it….you just keep saying you're fine when I know perfectly well that you're not."
There was a long silence. Caroline thought that Kate may have fallen asleep but then she heard a soft, almost desperate voice reply, "I don't know how you can help me, Caroline. You can't undo what has happened….You can't make it go away…..It's something that is going to be with me for the rest of my life and talking about it doesn't make it any easier."
Caroline took a moment to plump up her pillow and then turned to lie on her back. Kate instinctively rolled towards her and lay her head on her wife's chest, letting her enfold her in her arms.
"You're right, I can't do anything to make it go away but you do know that if I could I would…but I can love you and be there for you whenever you want me or need me," Caroline assured her, "Will you let me do that?"
Kate wrapped a leg around Caroline's and moved in that fraction closer until there was nothing between them…until they shared the same heartbeat and the same breath.
"I won't lie to you, Caroline, I find it incredibly difficult to think about the accident even now, but I survived and I have you and I have Flora which is more than anyone could ask for …and knowing that is what keeps me strong and forever grateful…so I might get upset but in the end I will be fine…."
Kate's words gradually petered out and it wasn't long before her limbs lay limp across her wife's body and her only movement was the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She'd fallen asleep. Caroline placed a light kiss on the top of her head and continued to gently stroke her hair, loving every tiny particle of this beautiful woman.
oooOooo
Janet Brownlow, smartly dressed in her black knee-length skirt, matching blazer and crisp, white blouse and presenting her confident, self-assured smile, met Kate and Caroline at the top of the steps outside the Harrogate Magistrates' Court building.
After the usual polite greetings and enquiries as to how each was doing, she asked the two women to follow her inside. Her sensible, black leather shoes made a distinct 'clip-clop' on the polished floor as opposed to the tapping of Caroline's heels and the muted padding of Kate's flats as all three walked towards the courtroom where the trial was to be held. Ms Brownlow was the lawyer assisting the prosecution's barrister, Earl Cowley.
Outside each courtroom were several, very basic-looking seats. The padding on them looked rather thin and the backs very straight. Not at all inviting. It was outside courtroom number four that Ms Brownlow indicated to Kate and Caroline to take one of these seats while she explained to them what would happen.
"Judge O'Hanlon is the District Court judge who will be presiding over the trial. Kate, you will need to wait here until one of the court's officers calls your name and comes to fetch you. He will then take you through that door…" Ms Brownlow pointed to a side door rather than the main door. "…to the dock where you will be sworn in."
"Will I be able to stay here with her?" Caroline inquired as she held her wife's hand firmly in her own.
"Of course. You're not part of the case so that should be fine," Ms Brownlow informed the relieved couple. "But if you do want to go inside to the gallery you will need to use that main door there." Again she pointed to the appropriate door. "Is there anything else you would like to ask me before we start?"
Both women thought for a minute before Caroline shook her head but Kate spoke up and asked, "How long will it be, do you know, before they call me?"
"All going well, it shouldn't be too long….twenty minutes perhaps," Ms Brownlow answered with an accompanying pat on Kate's arm. "You're our second witness so not long at all."
With no more questions forthcoming, Ms Brownlow left them on the uncomfortable seats and headed off down the hallway, presumably to collect her files and notes.
Sitting in the unfamiliar surroundings with little left to say that hadn't already been said, Kate and Caroline occupied themselves by watching with curiosity the activity going on around them….the officious march of barristers, their black robes billowing behind them as they entered and exited the building, wigs and leather-bound folders in hand; men, sitting like them in the hard seats outside neighbouring courtrooms, obviously uncomfortable in their suits and ties, their hair preened and shoes shining for once; a handful of the general public as well as what looked like one or two reporters curious as to the outcome of particular cases filed in through various courtroom doors; here and there small groups of family members or friends perhaps banded together to support each other or discuss a possible outcome…..As the day started, a general air of apprehension was slowly building.
As they watched, Caroline held Kate's hand, safe and secure, between her own.
Wordlessly, Kate drew Caroline's attention to a group of four teenagers she saw enter the building and make for the main door to courtroom 4. It was obvious that they had made an effort to appear neat and tidy but they hadn't fully succeeded.
"Do you think they're friends of the bloke they've got on trial?" Kate leant over and whispered.
Caroline eyed them carefully, not liking what she saw.
"I don't know….possibly."
Out of the blue, Kate asked, "What do you think he looks like?"
"Who?"
"The man on trial….the driver….the bloke who hit me."
Caroline swallowed hard at the sound of those words. She could hear the rising anxiety in Kate's voice and deliberately made her own voice calm….much calmer than she actually felt.
"I don't know," she replied truthfully, "but you can be sure he looks nothing like you would expect him to…..not like on the telly where half the time you can pick the bad guy just from his appearance….and you can bet your bottom dollar he has spruced himself up for today to try and give a good impression."
Another long silence settled over the couple until they were suddenly startled from their thoughts by the loud bellow of an officer of the court as he called out, "Katherine McKenzie-Dawson! Katherine McKenzie-Dawson!"
oooOooo