Disclaimer: I don't own Our Girl. Everything you recognise was created by Tony Grounds and is owned by the BBC.

Epilogue

Letter, 11th August 2074

My Dearest Molly,

I'm not really sure how to write this letter to you my darling, knowing that it will be my last letter to you. As I lay here with the life slowly trickling out of me I reflect back on our life together and I can only be happy with the life I have led. We have had nearly forty wonderful years together. If you count our time in Afghanistan, then it is 40. Looking back on myself as I was 40 years ago, I would have taken that. Hell, I would have taken 1 year, or even 1 month.

I know you are disappointed with me that I chose not to have chemotherapy, but the issue is Molly that I am tired, and I am not as brave as you. I wanted to live my life out and die under my own terms. By not having chemo we got an extra six months to enjoy ourselves - spending time at all the places and with all the people we love. If I had had the chemo then we would not have been able to do that, and I wanted that time together.

Molly, I am hard-pressed to describe what re-discovering you has meant to me. For those twenty years that we were apart I felt that I was in purgatory. I was unable to move on with my life, always regretting letting you go and knowing no-one like you would come into my life again. When Sam managed to re-discover you I was so excited. That first time I saw you, even though there was a material risk you could die in the near future, I felt rejuvenated, and that feeling has never gone away.

Throughout the following 40 years we have spent so much time together and it has been brilliant. We have worked together and walked together and laughed together and talked together and, very occasionally, argued together, and made love together. You have loved my family – Sam and Helen and their brood, and I have loved yours, Rob and his kids, and your siblings and nieces and nephews. So much so that we are now one family. My only regret is that we found each other too late to have children together, but given the two wonderful young men we already had, I can't complain too much.

While there are many reasons that I love you, I wanted you to understand what it was about you in the first place that first made me love you. I admired you.

And I still admire you. So much. I have been lucky in my life to come from the middle class and be relatively well off. I could always do what I wanted. I never had to fight too hard for it. But you have had to work for what you wanted every step of the way. Whether it was getting away from your parents, joining the army, becoming a medic, re-inventing yourself after we split up, bringing up your son without a father, putting yourself through medical school, or fighting leukaemia, you always fought for yourself and, most importantly, for those around you. That is what I came to love about you, not only that you are feisty, strong, that you work hard, but also that beautiful empathy that you have for everybody around you. It was your relationship with Bashira that made me sit up and think about what we were doing in Afghanistan. The fact that you were willing to risk your life for a scared little girl that made me re-examine who I was and what I was doing.

As we have gone through our life together, it is your emotional strength and your empathy that I have held onto. They are the core of you Molly, and what make you such a special person.

I am so proud to call you my wife, but also to call you my best friend. It was a rocky road but we got there in the end and the last 40 years have been wonderful. There isn't a moment of growing old with you that I haven't enjoyed. But all things end, Molly. And my end is now. I have known for some time that this day is coming. We have been very lucky that we have stayed mobile almost to the end, but the problems with my hips and my knees over the past two years have certainly impacted our quality of life and the cancer is the last straw. It has spread so widely that it is unlikely that chemotherapy can help me and I decided that I wanted to enjoy the last 6 months as we have enjoyed the last 40 years, on our own terms.

Being in the Army, we know that Death comes to all of us eventually. We have been lucky that we have led long and mostly happy lives, unlike many of our friends and comrades whose lives were cut tragically short, and that we've had a long time to enjoy each other. It is my greatest wish that you go on now and enjoy the rest of your life without me. That you enjoy our children and our grandchildren and our great grandchildren. That you spend time with our friends. And let all of them know that we loved and love them.

Please remember that I will always be with you. A part of me is inside you. Remember that I loved you and will always love you, and that I and those others that love you - your Grandmother, your parents, Smurf, Qaseem, Candy and Jackie will be waiting for you when your time comes. But don't hurry Molly – come in your own time, like you always have!

Loving you always,

Your Charlie/xxx

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Sam James tried to prevent the tears streaming down his cheeks from dropping onto the dog-eared letter in front of him. Molly had carried his father's last letter on her body for every day of the rest of her life, six years, during which she had obeyed his last orders to her to get out and have a good time. As she lay dying, surrounded by her loved ones, she had told him that she read it every day, before taking it out of the pouch that hung around her neck for the last time and giving it to him with shaking hands, with strict instructions on what to do next. She had died later that day, but he had been so overcome with grief that he had been unable to carry out her instructions until now, three days later.

Now, he opened the scrap book that he had brought from her flat, the one that she had shared with his father in the last few years of his life, and flipped over to the last page, which was empty, and carefully glued the letter in, being careful to get it perfectly square. The scrapbook was entitled "A life in letters" but his father had graffitied it into "Half a life in letters". He smiled sadly; his father had always had a dry sense of humour. His last letter to Molly had been lovely. He had written a similar letter to Sam himself, and to Rob, and he knew that both of them kept their own letters in a safe place and looked at them often. His father had had a beautiful way with words.

He looked up and saw his wife Helen smiling sadly at him from the door. He returned her smile through his tears, wondering whether to put the second letter which lay on the desk into the scrap book as well. He had been thinking about this ever since he had received the letter and read through the scrap book. No, he thought, this is for me.

Decision made, he closed the scrap book and pushed it into a shelf on his desk. He thought he would probably come back to it many times, as Molly and his father clearly had, and he would certainly tell Rob about it when he was ready, just in case he wanted to read it. Then he picked up the other letter, kissed it gently and tucked it into his desk drawer along with many of his other treasured letters. He rose from the desk, crossed to Helen, took her hand and they left the study, turning off the light.

In the desk drawer sat his final letter from Molly, with all the other important letters and e-mails she, his father, Helen and his children had sent to him over the years.

- OG - OG - OG - OG -

Letter, 23rd September 2080

My dear Sammy,

You know, I still remember the first time I met you – I don't know if you do too? It was when your father was in hospital after coming back from Afghanistan. You were an enthusiastic, happy young boy who was excited that the doctor hadn't rubbed his message off his Daddy's arm.

Little did I know at that meeting how important you would become to me in later years or what a massive impact you would have on my life. Your father told me that it was you that encouraged him to look for me after he received his mother's letter, you who bullied and cajoled him to keep going, and you who came up with the idea of advertising in the local papers.

Sammy, I can only thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. In his letter to me your father described the 20 years when we were apart as purgatory. It was just as difficult for me. To not only re-discover your father, but to get you and Helen and your lovely children into the bargain as well has been so wonderful. Not just for me but for Rob as well, who has gained a friend, confidant and a true elder brother.

I had 40 years with your father that I would not have had otherwise. In fact, if you hadn't found me I would not have had those 40 years at all. But the 40 years weren't just with Charles, they were with all of you. There are so many memories there that I treasure and they wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you.

I'm not going to deny that the last 6 years have been difficult without your father, but he told me, and I believe, that he is still with me, the way I will still be with you and Rob when I am gone. I love you both so much and I am sorry to go, but looking forward to (hopefully) seeing all those who've gone before, and if they're not there then I won't know any better, will I?! I couldn't love you more Sammy if you were my own son and I hope you know that. I hope you have a wonderful life and I won't even ask you to look after Robbie, because I know you will anyway.

Love always,

Molly/xxx

THE END

A/N Thanks to all those who read and special thanks to all those who reviewed. This was quite difficult to write, so I hope I did OK. Please review if you get a chance.