Thanks for all the feedback, guys! I decided to go another direction this chapter. It was stuck in my head so please don't hate me. Ha. Trivia night with the Pierces is next and then babysitting. But for now our troublesome trio is taking a field trip to… school? Slight angst, but that's Santana for you.
It's one of those rare moments where Sam's alone with Santana and he doesn't feel intimidated. He breaks the ice with, "Can I ask you a question?"
Santana sneers while filing her nails, "Is that the question?"
"No," he continues, "What you said the other night about your mom cheating on your dad… Never mind, it's none of my business. Forget I said anything."
"No, it's alright. I mean, it's not alright because it's true. It's okay that you asked though. She's sleeping with her personal trainer. His name is Sven something or other. It's ridiculous. To be honest, she'd hump our trash can if it had a penis."
"And your dad…?"
"Would be heartbroken if he knew. But I can't tell him. Every time I try, I just can't."
"I am so sorry, Santana."
"That's not even the worst part. My nanny, Martha, knows. Why do you think a seventeen year old still has a nanny? She's blackmailing my mom. Martha was my abuela's nurse for the longest time and after my grandparents died, she needed a way to keep her cushy job. She followed my mom to a motel one evening after I fell asleep and confronted her. Gave her an ultimatum."
"What will they do when you leave for college?"
"That I don't know. Guess Mommy Dearest will be shit out of luck. At least I won't be around for the inevitable divorce. It's funny. I grew up thinking that my nanny loved me more than my mom ever did. Turns out neither one of them love me. One day I stumbled upon the truth and I was so angry. I went to Lima Fitness Center, took some free weights, and threw them through windows, into mirrors; I even threw one at a guy. Then I took off. Brittany found me hiding behind a dumpster. Patches was barking at me so Brit flicked him on the nose and called him a bad dog."
"So she looks out for you just as much as you look out for her."
"Yeah. That's not even the half of it. Do you know Brittany's almost died? More than once, in fact."
Sam's not sure how much more he can take. This Santana looks so little and broken. He's reminded of the time they visited the graveyard. She appeared meek then, too.
"Please tell me you're not serious," he begs, desperate to know for sure.
"She doesn't see the harm in anything. It's what makes her so Brittany, but at the same time it scares the hell out of me. I wish she saw the danger. One time she wanted to curl her hair in the bathtub. Another time she almost let Sue shoot her out of a cannon. Once, she just about overdosed. Last summer she got trapped down in the sewers."
"I… I never would've known… Santana, don't cry. Please don't cry. It's going to be alright. I promise."
"No it won't because if I lose her, I lose everything. All that time we spent fighting is time we could've been together. And what if something had happened to her while I was playing Miss Straight Teen Ohio? I'd never forgive myself, Sam. I love her. I love her, but I let all my fears and insecurities come between us. I try to be honest with people when they have these flaws that I just can't overlook, but I couldn't even tell my best friend the truth for the longest time because she's perfect. And she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. She makes me want to be her idea of romance, but I can't get over the fact that people will hate me for it. They hate me for loving her and I don't know them and they don't know us."
The last thing he wants is to see her cry. His heart hurts when he watches her pour out her emotions when he knows that there is something she can do to make it better. That's when he gets a brilliant idea.
"Santana?" he asks, "How about we go on a little road trip?"
She sniffles, "Fine. But only if you buy me cheese fries at the gas station."
"Gross. Only if you promise not to throw them at me."
"Brittany's house? That's where we're going?"
"Relax, Tana, we're just here to pick her up."
"Nobody calls me Tana without express written consent, Fish."
"Sam and Mercedes sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G," Santana taunts.
Then Brittany chimes in, "First comes sex, then comes love, then comes two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree."
Sam laughs at the last one. When Brittany switches from the old nursery rhyme to a Christmas carol, it's so bizarre and unexpected that he can't help but be amused. No one is more thrilled than Santana, however.
"Good one, Brit-Brit!" she exclaims.
They're cruising down the highway. Sam's got the route memorized by heart from his pizza delivering days and he's singing along to all that angry-girl chick-rock that he despises so much, but Santana insists they listen to. Not surprisingly, he knows all the words by now.
"Westerville? What the fuck is in Westerville?" Santana exclaims.
"Dalton Academy," Sam replies, "and we're going to take a little tour."
Brittany squeals with joy, "I always wanted to know what school's like during the summer! Contrary to popular belief, I've never been to summer school."
"And I kicked anybody in the balls who tried to spread that rumor," Santana adds, "But why couldn't we just break into McKinley and toilet paper it like normal rising seniors?"
"I went to an all-boys boarding school back in Tennessee. When I moved here, I felt like an outsider because I didn't know how to flirt with girls or even be friends with them, but I had to learn. And accepting yourself is something you'll have to figure out too, Santana. So you're going to walk a mile in Kurt's shoes."
"Kurt has great shoes, Santana, so you have nothing to worry about," Brittany adds.
"You really think this is a good idea, Brit-Brit?" Santana whispers.
"I really do," Brittany answers, "But if you get nervous you can hold my hand. Things aren't always what they seem. Plus, you didn't have any trouble making out with me at that party."
Sam catches Santana's eye in the rearview mirror. She's smiling, but visibly anxious.
"West Valley here we come!" Brittany exclaims, "Crawford Country Day- sounds like that preschool my parents took me to where I made fairy houses out of mud."
"Where's Dumbledore buried?" Brittany asks, but the tour guide ignores her.
"…And this is the library. Construction started on it in the late 1940s, but it wasn't finished until the early 50s when-"
"This blows," Santana mutters to Sam, "how the hell is this anything like Kurt's experience here?"
"How was I supposed to know they'd make this old dinosaur show us around?" he whispers back, "Dude's older than my grandpa."
"Hey guys! What are we whispering about?" Brittany asks eagerly.
"I say we ditch this geezer and find our own way around. On the count of three, we run. One, two…"
On two, both Santana and Brittany run off, pinkies linked. Sam glances at their bewildered guide before shouting, "Look! A distraction!" and taking off after the girls.
After all three of them are a safe distance away, Santana stops. They're trying to catch their breath when a student walks by.
"Can I help you with something?" he asks.
"Yeah," Sam replies, "My name's Peter… Parker. Peter Parker. And this blonde girl here is Mary Jane. And this is our other good friend, Doctor Octopus. But she prefers Pussy. So you can definitely call her that."
Santana punches him in the arm, but doesn't object. The boy eyes them suspiciously.
"That's cool I guess," he says skeptically, "I'm Thad. You three look really familiar for some reason."
"Do you have Cheerios here in Westertonfield too?" Brittany inquires.
"You want breakfast?" Thad scratches head.
"Our friend Kurt went here," Santana provides, "He was in your choir."
"Yeah I know Kurt! I'm in the Warblers too. New Directions, right? What are you guys doing here?"
"The question is: what are you doing here?" Brittany counters.
"I go here. I have to retake chemistry. Anyway, Kurt always talked about you guys. I don't think he ever mentioned a Peter or a Mary Jane, though. And I would've remembered a Pussy."
"I bet you would," Santana smirks.
Sam glares at Santana, "So Thad, what's it like here? I mean, when you met Kurt for the first time, what did you think?"
"He was nice. It seemed to me like he had a crush on Blaine from the start, but maybe not."
"Does it bother you that they're…" Santana starts.
"Gay?" Thad asks.
"No… Well, yes. But what I was trying to say was together."
"We have this zero-tolerance policy on bullying. But no one cared. Can I ask you a question?"
Santana sighs, "I hate that fucking question."
"What are you doing Friday, Doc?"
Brittany slaps Thad and they scatter once more.
"Country roads, take me home, to the place I belong! West Virginiaaaa, mountain mamaaaa. Take me home, country roads!" Brittany sings as they make their way back to Lima.
So maybe it didn't work out exactly like Sam hoped it would, but at least he didn't have any cheese fries thrown at him. Sam glances in the rearview mirror once more and sees Brittany curled up next to Santana. They're both smiling. Although it's going to take a lot more than one pit stop at Dalton to get Santana out of the closet, Sam knows it's a step in the right direction.