BOOK TEN:

TEARS BETWEEN WORLDS

Marius and the Powder Keg

It was not another time, nor place. Aurelie and Enjolras were very much at the barricade in person, despite their souls having reached a higher plane. They were placed at the tavern door, closed, with the insurgents keeping watch. Beyond the barricade: throngs of National Guardsmen approaching Saint-Michel.

Their harsh interruption was the steady beat of drums in the distance along with a cruel chuckle from Javert, whom had remained uncharacteristically silent, having been somewhat taken by the display of love in what he felt was paramount to a show on a stage. It had taken the drums in the distance to return all three to their surroundings; Javert tossed out of the theatre, Aurelie and Enjolras ripped from heaven.

Enjolras slowly released his hold on Aurelie, never once leaving her eyes as the severity of this new situation presented itself. Horrible things had happened, and they'd yet to see battle. He felt Aurelie's hands brush down his arms, then she left his eyes.

Enough.

This was thought by Aurelie, and only this, as she straightened his jacket, her eyes in the unfocused nether between the two.

When Aurelie was eleven, her mother was taken by scarlet fever. After her death, Aurelie would go through this very process. In the morning, she would sit herself in front of a mirror, a clock placed on the vanity. Looking herself in the eyes, she would cry. She would allow herself to feel the great pain of a forever changed world: a world without her mother, the woman she hoped to become. She would not sob, she would not sniffle. She was intrepid even in a state of devastation.

When three minutes had passed, she would pick up her handkerchief, clear the moisture, throw her shoulders back and eye herself once more.

She would say to herself: Enough.

His name had been called by Combeferre and Enjolras was already turning around as Aurelie straightened her frame. With a deep inhale, she was fully composed after so many years of this training. She had not cried here, but she had allowed her emotions to get the better of her, and she felt the better for it. She knew not how she would react if the incoming horrors took Enjolras from her, but with the beat of these drums, he was already gone.

Enough for now.

"It was only a matter of time," Javert sneered, echoing what they both felt but did not hear just now. Their world had expanded but refused to include him. Those drums were what mattered now, and it was time to meet them head on.

Everything had felt slow for a few seconds; Aurelie collecting herself while making Enjolras presentable, Enjolras garnering his vehemence once more and visualizing every move that would have to be made in this confrontation.

Neither pair of eyes were in focus.

The door launched open in full force, Combeferre's wide eyes meeting Enjolras' with urgency. He did not notice Aurelie; only noted that there was a boy standing beside the man he'd been seeking in his periphery.

"Enjolras," Combeferre cried. "Hurry, they're bearing down."

Instinctively, Aurelie picked up a musket leaning against the wall and mindlessly handed it over to him. Both their eyes were off in the distance, aimed at the drums now, as though they could see through the barricade and buildings ahead. They paid no notice to each other, but were ever present in thought. And in taking the gun, it was times like these that they were fully connected: Aurelie had known he needed one, had slowly lifted one from the wall that she hadn't seen as though it had materialized in her hand. Enjolras had taken it from her, somewhere noting in his head that she'd read his mind, but he had a position to take and in the next second, he was slowly, very slowly, walking with purpose toward the barricade before them.

He was grabbed by Courfeyrac the second he had stepped through the threshold behind Combeferre and rushed up the barricade. Now in the present, he was in full action, and ducked just below the crest while eying his compatriots, each in their proper place, guns ready.

"Everyone in position," Enjolras ordered, pointing at vacant areas for his men to kneel. Aurelie began to hear the Sargent ordering his troop.

"Right! Right! Right! Right!"

She hadn't realized she was in motion at all until half way between the café and Eponine, and upon noticing this, she scrambled over and sat beside the girl at the base of the barricade. There, Eponine was already holding a carbine, locked and loaded, ready to hand up to Marius just above her head.

The flag rippled in a bit of wind, stirring to life and ready for the attack as the rest were.

Still it was astonishing to Aurelie how calm they were! And while internally admonishing them for the repose, she noted that she also echoed the tone. She no longer felt the damage that had been emotionally inflicted. Her strength and resolve was returning in a strange way. A serene way.

This was a double standard. While she felt peaceful, if not slightly dazed, she wanted to see some urgency in them. Some strength or fear, or both in equal measure. But they were natural. They were ready, and when one has already accepted death, there is a calm, however fiercely they fight the reaper away.

Aurelie saw the rest of the shutters close above, was inflamed that people could close them at all. Shut out the street as though it were any night and there was no war below. She understood them hiding for any reason they chose to give, but this was a sight to be seen if not participating. It was important to be a part of history, even if only as a bird, and to remember what had transpired to tell of the story later.

It was this reason she was here. If their fight was destined to lose, she would see each death with her own eyes to speak of them later, let them be remembered for what they'd sacrificed. If Enjolras was to die, she would watch, however defiantly. She dare not predict her reaction, but it would be done because of necessity. She would not allow him to die behind her back.

Enjolras and Marius were side by side at the highest point in the direct center, placing themselves behind a wooden wheel of a carriage.

"Now hold your fire," Marius insisted, eyes darting to each man.

"Save your gunpowder," Courfeyrac agreed.

Aurelie could not take her eyes off of Enjolras. It was strange how every time she looked at him, she saw him born to be exactly as that. He was born to be a leader, born to preach, born to debate, born to learn, born to love her.

"Above all," Enjolras said strongly, "Let us raise our flag."

Right now, he was born to hold a gun, taking aim through the spokes of the wheel, the flag of the republic beside him.

She did not see the army, but knew by the sound when they had breached the corner. Heard the general call, "Front rank, kneel!"

Heard the rustle of cloth hit the pavement in sync with the rhythm only armies can beat.

"Take aim!" the general called, and it was done so calmly that one would have thought he was saying good morning to a new day.

"Get down," Enjolras said quickly, lowering himself below the rise of the barricade. In this he was still the pillar of strength to those around him, sounding calm yet conveying alarm. Everyone ducked down low so if any shot was taken they would be protected.

Holding his musket close to his head, his finger on the trigger, Aurelie swallowed heavily. His moment had arrived and she would do all she could.

"Who's there?" the general called from the void beyond.

Enjolras looked at Marius, to Courfeyrac. Then his eyes gazed into the nether, all sights going unseen.

He wet his lips.

"French Revolution!"

"Fire!"

Aurelie's ears were blown by the sounds of the guns, pieces of the barricade behind her splintering. She was hit with debris, gentle as rain from the sky. Her muscles tensed as she braced herself against this onslaught, slamming her eyes shut until the initial shots had fired. From there she would be able to open her eyes and assist, but the initial sync of the many guns was shattering.

"They're coming!" Combeferre cried out, then raised his gun over the barricade. Aurelie didn't think he aimed at all. He just shot in the general vicinity, and she knew it was because the army was thick enough with bodies that any bullet would aim true.

Enjolras, however, took aim. Closing one eye, he squeezed the trigger at a man about to fire, hit him with no bullet brushing by the soldier's bayonet on the end. He had another shot with a second musket, and took it with careful aim at the very place he'd just seen the star of a gun firing, watched the man fall backwards with the blow.

He turned and threw his gun to Aurelie, and once more, in this they were connected. In the quickest of motions, she grabbed a carbine from the pavement and handed it over without him being the wiser to her presence.

She then began to load the musket he'd handed her with haste, only glancing down once to be sure she had aimed the rammer into the barrel. If he was to die, it would be with her eyes on him.

"They're coming over the Barricade!" Courfeyrac yelled, backing up and away.

"Get back!" Joly ordered.

Before this, Aurelie handed a pistol to Enjolras, then backed toward the shadows. Eponine still stood at the base, loading weapons. Taking to her knees, Aurelie crawled to grab two more muskets and get them loaded while she was in as much safety as the barricade now offered.

Still Enjolras fired with his pistol until a footman was seen face to face with him. Aurelie halted the rammer, gripping the cold barrel tightly in her fist.

Enjolras hit him over the head with his pistol and the man fell. He then snatched the bayonet the man had dropped, stabbed, then pushed the soldier's body over the other side.

The men in coats were making no progress as the Les Amis de l'ABC backed away, the barricade serving its purpose and fighting off the besiegers with ease. A head would peek over the top, then be met with a bullet.

"They're idiots!" screamed Enjolras, as a winning general would. He fired at a soldier who fell in heap. "They're getting their men killed and using up our ammunition for nothing!"

Marius placed his pistol against the chest of one and fired, the bullet exiting through his back, the explosion catching fire to the jacket, the report rising against the man's uniform to his chin.

Ripping a bayonet from a soldier atop, Enjolras led with his elbow to push him out of the way before he took aim and killed the man with the fixed blade. He then fired upon another. Bodies were falling backwards and Aurelie hadn't seen one of her own struck.

When a gun was aimed at Gavroche, Gavroche fired back with the little pistol he'd been given. He hit a shoulder, but the man fired anyway. His aim was a failure with his shoulder injured, and this seemed to be a final straw for Marius.

Hurrying down and grabbing the barrel of gun powder Grantaire had dragged from the café earlier in the day, he climbed back up top.

Little Gavroche stood below him, hollering at him to stop. "Marius, what are you doing?" he cried. "Marius! Stop! Not the powder!"

"Get down!" Enjolras ordered him, but Marius paid no attention. Aurelie guessed this was the first time Enjolras' order had been ignored. Still, Enjolras fought atop, yet would not let another man climb higher than he.

"Marius! No!" Gavroche continued to scream, his eyes locked on Marius.

Aurelie was struck with fear and unable to move, and she was not alone in this. Everything came to an abrupt pause at the barricade, both sides freezing in time. And at the same time, she held strength, again reminding herself that she would not look away, come what may. She would keep her eyes on Enjolras. Her eyes would remain on him through a last breath, be it his or hers.

"Marius, watch out!" Gavroche screamed; Marius now on the very top of the barricade as tall as the flag, the keg of powder in his right hand.

Aurelie's jaw dropped, her eyes beginning to water as a guardsman spun around and aimed his musket only a meter from Marius. She dropped down to lift a pistol from the pavement and was knocked into by Eponine as the girl burst into action.

"Marius, no!" Eponine cried, only this was with desperation, begging God in the heavens. She gripped the barrel of the gun aimed at Marius.

Turned it toward her breast.

The fire ceased as the first man of the Les Amis de l'ABC fell to the ground. Only she was a woman.

Silence.

"Fall back!" Marius ordered the soldiers, striking one on the head with the torch. "Fall back or I blow the barricade!"

A different silence.

"Blow it up and take yourself with it," a lieutenant said from the side, his musket aimed at Marius.

Aurelie heard Fueilly whisper the word Christ under his breath near her, and men were backing away on both sides of the barricade. She turned her attention to Marius then, saw his resolve. He would without a doubt follow through with his threat, his eyes wide and wild, his posture holding true.

Enjolras took two steps toward Marius, his stare foreboding. He had no idea Marius had this in him; hoped to God that the soldiers would back away. They weren't ready for the end yet, there was plenty more to do. The barricades could not fall the first night, all would be lost.

Worse, if this barrel was lit aflame, Aurelie would die with them all.

Breathing heavily, Marius said in little more than a whisper, "And myself with it."

The lieutenant widened his eyes as Marius lowered the torch closer to the keg. Aurelie saw the fear there, and knew neither side wanted to die. They all hoped the outcome would sway in their favor, and this was too soon.

"Back!" he screamed to his guardsmen, his tone urgent and not to be ignored. "Back!"

He climbed with haste down the other side, and Aurelie stepped from the shadows, mounted a crate near the makeshift door to see the man backing away as quickly as he could while keeping his gaze on Marius, as though Marius had descended into madness.

The army then retreated, hurrying around the corner.

Still the silence. More deafening than the shots of the guns. Only the faint cries of the soldiers in their last breath as they expired at the hands of the Les Amis de l'ABC could be heard.

Marius' eyes remained transfixed on the retreat in what Aurelie recognized as madness. Enjolras scaled the wall until he could reach the torch and took it gently from Marius' hand. There was a stunted sigh of relief through his heavy breathing as he turned away from Marius, making his way back down and away, as though Marius would still act without a flame.

Borne of Tragedy, Death in Tragedy

Eponine's cap had fallen from her head, and Aurelie locked her chin in place, body rigid and braced against a new onslaught of tears. She was trembling. Marius rushed to her, recognizing her now with the tendrils of black hair that fell down her cheeks.

It began to rain.

"Eponine," he said, his approach now slower. Solemn. "Eponine, what have you done?"

Aurelie's heart ached in devastation. This girl she'd only recently come to truly know, truly understand, had sacrificed herself for the man she loved. The man who could not return that love.

And Aurelie saw her dig in her trousers. Come up with the folded note she'd taken from the manor. "Here," she said.

Marius took the letter in his hand and stared at it blankly for a moment before he met her eyes once more, a silent query.

"It's from Cosette," Eponine said, her voice quivering. "It's for you. I found it. Kept it." Aurelie could plainly see how tormented she was by her guilt. "I'm so sorry."

Shaking his head, Marius exhaled a long sigh, his features contorted. He crumpled the paper in his fist before depositing it in his vest-pocket, the letter already forgotten before the action.

In the distance, there were voices trying to organize in the rain. But those in the general vicinity were struck to the core in heartache, seeing the girl curled into a ball against the barricade. Every man witnessing this had become taciturn.

Marius looked her over.

"What have you done?"

Aurelie then saw the love. The pain. Eponine's deep love for Marius, his love for the girl he'd toyed with before Cosette had entered the picture. The agony of death after the agony of life.

"I am dying," Eponine said with a smile.

Marius knelt down, took her hand from her breast to expose her wound. Her shirt had pooled with the stain of blood. It was a grave wound, and Aurelie knew that in minutes, Eponine would breathe for the last time in her wretched life.

She let out a small cry as Marius touched her.

"Have I hurt you?" he asked, shying back.

Eponine's smile was pensive. "Only a little," she said as her eyes cast downward.

Aurelie knew of the double meaning in her answer. She was indeed in pain with the shot, and there was pain in her love.

"But I only touched your hand," Marius said quietly.

She raised her hand, and Aurelie saw the black hole through the palm.

"It is pierced," she said, explaining it, though no explanation was necessary. Aurelie had seen exactly what had happened, and everyone around her was looking upon the result. "A musket was aimed and it was fired."

"Aimed at me." Marius nodded while blinking the rain from his eyes, the event dawning on him. He wiped his hand across her forehead, clearing the moisture. "I'll get you a doctor."

Marius began to rise, Aurelie scanning for Combeferre or Joly so she could drag them over immediately, one foot already in motion.

But Eponine clasped his hand on the way up. "No," she pleaded, and both Marius and Aurelie froze once more. Eponine licked her lips, her head lolling to the side. "No, do not waste their time. You see, the bullet entered my hand, but continued its journey through my breast. I'll tell you how you can care for me Marius, better than any doctor. Sit with me, Marius."

Closing his eyes, Marius' chin began to tremble as he balled the dying girl up in his arms.

"There," Eponine said, pleased. Though gravely wounded, Aurelie knew that look. It was a look of bliss. The girl was already in heaven. "I no longer suffer."

She sputtered a bit, but relaxed, and Aurelie thought her dead until she rallied after half a minute.

"You see," Eponine began, and her grin turned wickedly gleeful. She placed her hand on his cheek in endearment. "You are lost, Marius. This barricade is destined to fall, as will everyone behind it. I am the first, but far from the last, yet . . . here I am anyway. I am here to die with you, knowing this. I placed my hand on the muzzle of that musket because I wished to die before you. I am so very happy, Marius. Everyone is going to die."

Aurelie blinked. Felt anger through her heartbreak. Understood how Eponine felt, even in this moment of glee through madness. Had she no life forming in her belly, she would have done the same to save Enjolras without a second thought.

Then Eponine's eyes fell toward the shadows, and Aurelie knew she was looking for her. And because those who live in the shadows see best through them, Eponine was able to make eye contact.

"You should run," she said, her lids fluttering. "Do not die with them all. Fly away, little bird. Fly to the safety of blue skies and pleasant dreams. I forbid you to follow me."

Marius, none the wiser to Aurelie's presence, began to run his hand over her cheek, assuming these words were aimed in his direction.

Aurelie, however, began to fiercely quake. And unbeknownst to her, she audibly hummed against the acute pain of it all.

"You will live, Eponine," Marius said, rocking her in his arms.

"Don't you worry, Monsieur," Eponine said, meeting his eyes once more. "My pain is over now. You are here, and I will sleep. It won't be long now."

She shook with the throes of death and the sputtering splashed two drops of blood onto her chin. Still, she smiled.

"Promise me you will give me a kiss on my brow when I am dead. I shall feel it."

Marius nodded, his rocking picking up the pace as a tear fell from his eye.

"And by the way, Monsieur Marius. I believe that I was a little bit in love with you."

She tried to smile once more, but expired.

Marius took her chin in his hands, then bestowed upon her forehead the sweetest kiss; a gift she should have received years ago and had been long earned.

Her eyes blurry with moisture, she turned to look at Enjolras. He was soaked; he'd stayed in the rain and watched it all. Drops of water fell from the blond curls to his cheeks, down his forehead. He did not close his eyes.

When he saw Eponine's last breath, he thought of Aurelie. Could not imagine his pain if this had been her. It was inconceivable to think of how he would feel with her dying in his arms. Knew that she would have done the same as this mad girl for him, just as he would for her.

That was the power of love, you see. One would risk their life for the sake of their love. He would sacrifice his for his love of Patria, but it was for Aurelie he fought to live.

He wondered if she had seen this. He could feel her, always, and she had defied him by saying she had not seen enough. No thought had been paid to her until now whilst in the middle of battle, as happened too often, and he scanned the faces around him with austerity, grieving for their first loss and hoping Aurelie was not near.

It was decided that she was. She had seen this. She wanted to see it.

With a gesture of his head, he ordered his lieutenants in silence to carry Eponine from the barricade, where this girl had bravely fought alongside him and his comrades.

Aurelie stepped from the shadows, unafraid of being noticed. She joined Courfeyrac and Joly, Fueilly and Prouvaire, Bahoret and Combeferre. She joined them in lifting Eponine from Marius' arms as he looked on in shock. Aurelie did not hide her face; Eponine did not deserve that sort of disrespect. Her head held high, she looked at Gavroche whom had tears in his eyes. Looked at Marius slumped in a heap of desolation.

She looked at Enjolras and the space around him. Saw how he ducked his head low, eyes on the pavement, and knew he was thinking of her.

Combeferre took her fully from the others to carry her further up the street, and Aurelie followed at his side as the rest walked somberly back to the barricade. He placed her upon the sidewalk under an awning; the first of a pile of bodies where the fallen insurgents would be honorably laid together, side by side.

Before taking her post once more, she entered the café to retrieve the bottle she'd dropped to drink to Eponine.

When she returned, she still refused to hide in the shadows. She needed to feel the rain, heaven crying for the loss. Eponine had been born in tragedy, had lived and died the same. She had known of the life inside of Aurelie. And in her death, she gave life to Marius; by saving him, and giving him the letter from his love.

Marius Must Decide

Breaking open the red seal, Marius began to read the letter. Its words were poetry of Cosette's love, followed by an address of where to find her before she'd cross to America. When he closed it, he clutched it in his fist, brought both hands to his mouth as he stared up at the cloudy sky. He prayed for Eponine, asked God what was expected of him; if he should stay or find Cosette.

When the rain ceased, he rose. Inside the Café Musain, he sat at a desk near the kitchen in a daze and penned a letter to Cosette. In his words, he shared the depth of his love. Promised to love her with his last thought if death came for him. Swore that if it didn't, he would spend his life loving her, and would join her once this battle had come to an end.

He brought his letter to the trunk Gavroche was living in at the barricade and opened the top.

Inside, little Gavroche had a lit lantern.

"Gavroche, will you do something for me?" he asked.

Gavroche looked at Marius solemnly. Marius had saved their lives and acted without fear over the danger befalling Gavroche.

"Anything. Without you, I'd have bitten the dust."

Marius handed over the letter and gave Gavroche the address Cosette had offered, bid him to deliver it. Aurelie heard this, not from her shadows. She still did not hide, instead sitting against the pillar of the stairs. The rain had stopped, the heavens no longer weeping over Eponine. They were now looking forward.

Gavroche climbed out of the trunk and ran with haste up the street and over the back barricade until she could no longer see his tiny body. And she was glad; the little man should not be in this dangerous place.

"Marius," she whispered. He turned and looked at her, couldn't identify the boy.

Aurelie saw his recognition once he was close, and he hunched down to affirm with his own eyes that it was her.

"Aurelie?" he asked, then glanced at Enjolras. He couldn't begin to fathom what Enjolras would think of her being here, and the thought crossed his mind to bring his attention to her presence immediately so he could get her out of here. It had never dawned on him that Eponine loved him so much she would place herself between him and a bullet. It seemed just as he'd thought he was finally understanding the magnitude of love, someone was one upping the idea and showing him the extremes of it.

"You shouldn't be here," he finally said, eyes still flicking toward Enjolras.

"I know this already."

What he would do to save Cosette if she was here, how he would fight for her safety. Enjolras would not be able to take this news. But Aurelie was equally respected and loved by every man at this barricade for her sweetness and strength. For her ability to fight, be it with bullets or a silver tongue. Aurelie, he knew, was not one to back down from any fight. And this could create a battle scene worse than what they'd experienced already.

He shuddered while envisioning the two in the middle of the square facing off, and exactly what that would do for everyone here. Shuddered further upon imagining every man here insisting she leave as she would inevitably hold her ground.

Still, this was horrible.

"You can't be here, Aurelie," Marius said, shaking his head. "You need to go."

Aurelie had been noticing how Marius' gaze darted between her and Enjolras. Everyone had looked at her as a boy; truly none other than Enjolras knew she was present. There was comfort in that, but now Enjolras had a soldier in his war against Aurelie. Someone in agreement that she needed to go. That was unacceptable.

But she did not regret grabbing his attention, as words needed to be said.

"Do not shout for him, he knows I'm here," Aurelie said.

Marius gasped. "And he approves?"

"He shoots me daggers with his eyes, fights me with side conversations, pulls me around by my arm, but I will not leave," Aurelie said. "I did not call you over to speak of him. I called you because you're in deep pain, and I wanted to say that I'm so sorry for what has happened here."

Marius knelt down before her after one last look at Enjolras. He envied their love, envied even more their strength. They had made their choices of where to stay while he was left questioning everything. He'd been stasis for five days with Cosette so near, and still so far. He'd thought he'd made his choice to fight here, but the letter had him questioning his life once more.

"Tell me," he pleaded. "Her letter said they were about to cross the sea. Do I stay or do I go find her?"

This Aurelie could not answer. Had the question been posed by Enjolras himself, she would not have had an answer either. She could not tell a man how to express his love, only to feel it as he acted the way he must.

Taking her hand between his, he searched her eyes, then continued: "My life without her means nothing, so if I stay to fight, I am to die. Would she weep, Aurelie?"

"Yes, Marius. She would weep for you deeply for the rest of her life."

Marius understood. "As you would for him," he said, nodding his head over his shoulder, gesturing behind him.

Her eyes flicked to Enjolras. Her heart was weeping already; it was only in the case of his death that tears would leave her eyes.

"Yes," she said with gravity.

"What is right, dear Aurelie?" Marius asked, scooting closer to her. "What is better for a woman from a man? His strength and honor or his love?"

"I do not know, Marius," she answered. "I've offered both, and both have been offered to me. I have yet to decide which is held more dearly, as I'm not sure which I love of him more. He comes to me with all, and if one was missing I would not know him."

At this, Marius sat down fully beside her and leaned against the barricade, still clutching her hand.

"You are a wonder," he said, as no other words could express his admiration. "The both of you never cease to astound everyone on your own, and knowing the secret that you are a force together, it is even more transcendent! How do you manage it, Aurelie? How do you manage to fight him and concord all at once?"

"I suppose the answer to that is complex, but uttered simply," Aurelie said. "Love."

"But it is love that leaves me with questions!" Marius argued, exasperated. "I cannot figure out who I am while you both remain steadfast!"

Aurelie sighed with a gentle smile. "You are the same, Marius. You have not changed because of love, you are the better for it. If Cosette were here, you would be horrified, and you would fight her, and you would admire her at the same time. You would not question. It's only that she could disappear forever that leaves you with choices, for if she was here, there would be no option presented."

"I do not think she is the sort to hide under a cap and sit in battle," Marius said with a hint of dark humor.

"I think love would surprise you, then," Aurelie responded. "When it's true love, there is no other place to be considered. You cannot decide because of your love, and if she knew you were here, you'd likely find her beside me dressed as a boy already."

Marius sighed with the weight of it all.

"We should have lived different lives, the three of us."

"The four of us, yes," Aurelie agreed, adding Cosette into the equation. She knew Cosette without ever having laid eyes on her. Cosette's love for him in a glance, the love returned. How Cosette would weep if Marius fell. "All of us should lead lives the country has been unable to give us, which is what leads us here. To honor, to the barricade, to love and to grief. But we are living the lives we were meant to live. We all understand the higher call, which is why we stay."

"Why I'll stay," Marius decided.

"It's why we all do," Aurelie agreed, staring at Enjolras.

Upon noticing Bossuet and Joly were handing out bottles of wine to little groups for them to share, Aurelie located the bottle she'd retrieved from the tavern earlier that had gone forgotten in the madness. Uncorking the top, she held it over to Marius.

"How can a funeral be a celebration of victory?" Marius asked quietly, then took a gulp. Around him, the mood was still somewhat somber, but had returned to life. Losses had been expected, and not knowing the time they had left, they were sharing a drink of camaraderie.

"Such is war," Aurelie said grimly, the bottle returned to her.

"You've been loading our guns," Marius pointed out after his second swig, now passing the bottle back and forth.

"I have."

"You're fierce."

"When the time comes, I will be fiercer still."

Aurelie took a sip, then held the bottle to him with the action of a toast. Faced with hopelessness, the wine soothed, and she envied Grantaire's slumber once more.

"As will you," she added thoughtfully. "What you did there saved everyone's lives. Ask me your question again, Marius. Ask me what you should do, because after what you did with the barrel, I'll insist selfishly that you stay to save us all again. You saved my love, and through that, you saved me. Ask it now, for if you ask me again in five minutes, I will shoo you away to run."

Marius chuckled. "Has he shooed you?"

"Oh, I've lost count of how many times now," Aurelie replied, echoing the dark laugh.

"And how far did that get you?"

"Let's see. To Bastille, to Saint-Michel. To my room, to the café. To the pillar, to the barricade."

Marius shrugged. "Seems his ability to shoo you doesn't push you more than a few meters from him at a time."

"Precisely."

"To the only mistress I've ever wished for and never had," Bossuet said loudly near the top of the barricade, lifting his bottle to the air. "Mam'selle Aurelie, I drink on the eve of my death to you."

Enjolras snatched the bottle from him before he could make it near his mouth.

"Hey!"

Wetting his lips and locking his jaw was always a sign of Enjolras' determination. "We drink to those around us, tonight," he said, then indulged with a healthy gulp. "If you wish to toast, you toast to Patria, not to a mistress you could have never attained."

Marius and Aurelie alike ducked their heads into a silent fit of laughter.

"He's so transparent now, it's a wonder I never noticed," Marius burst, however only enough to reach the ears of Aurelie.

"I admire you," Bossuet cried, leaping to his feet and pointing at Enjolras with the bottle, addressing all. "You live alone, which renders you sad. You complain of your greatness, as we all know you are, and it is your greatness that binds you to widowhood. We all have our mistresses, and they make us crazy! But with our crazy, we become brave. When we're in love as a tiger, we fight like lion. A man without a woman is a pistol without a trigger; it's the woman who sets the man off. You, Enjolras. You have no woman, you are not in love, yet you manage to be intrepid!"

This mockery sobered Aurelie's fit of laughter, Marius as well.

"Hence the secret," she said grimly.

Enjolras eyed everyone levelly, taking a second to gaze into each of their eyes before moving to the next. "If we come out of this alive, you will know my trigger," he said daringly. "But it is Patria I die for."

Aurelie was stunned he'd even begin to admit it, even if it was only a hint that was lost in the wording, as it was clear by the little chuckles they had misunderstood. They could see him as nothing other than a chaste god, and would never believe it if Enjolras clutched her to him and announced his love. It would be laughed at, viewed as putting on a good show. Little did they know.