The beeping and whirring of medical equipment woke him up, but Han did not open his eyes. If he did, there would be light and more pain. If he opened his eyes, he would see her. He would have to tell her how he lost Rey. How an arms dealer, who he cheated, had tracked him down, stolen his ship and the girl along with it. How they could be anywhere in the galaxy by now. How he had no idea if Rey was alive or dead.

And it would be the last time he ever saw her. She would never be able to look at him again.

He sighed.

"I know you're awake."

The voice came from his right side. He rolled over and sat up to meet her at eye-level. He could not take a beating lying down, no matter how much he deserved it.

Leia glanced at his hairline.

"How's your head?"

"It's fine," he lied. "I can't feel anything."

She nodded.

"Chewie told me what happened."

"How is he?"

"Healing fast," she answered. "He was discharged yesterday. Poe brought you in three days ago. We got a hail from the escape pod's emergency transponder."

Han nodded. The kid had been all too happy to pull he and Chewie from that claustrophobic prison with less than an hour of oxygen to spare. If he had had the strength, he would have knocked that cocky grin off the pilot's face.

Now, he wished he were back on that ship. Sharing a cramped freighter with Poe Dameron was significantly preferable to the situation he was in now.

"Leia…" He had no idea where to begin. There was no apology that could fix this.

"You two were lucky to get out alive."

Han did not comment. There was no affect behind her words. He studied her face, looking for any indicator of emotion. There was nothing there. Her eyes looked through him, empty and unseeing.

"Leia, I'll find her," he said, desperate for a reaction. "I'll get her back."

"How?" The faintest trace of skepticism colored her tone.

"The Falcon has a long-range transponder beacon, in case of something like this," he said in a rush. "I activated it before we were boarded. It can't run a trace when the ship is on-planet, but as soon as she lifts, I can track it anywhere in the galaxy. It's wired on a redundant system, so it won't switch off until I input the code manually."

Leia's eyebrow lifted a fraction.

"Okay, but what if she doesn't lift? What if the Falcon is dry-docked permanently? Or stripped for parts?"

They both knew it was the most likely scenario. To anyone who did not know her history or the multiple modifications she had undergone, the freighter had more value in pieces than as a whole. The muscle along Han's jaw twitched at the thought.

"Well," he said slowly. "Then it'll take a little longer to find her."

Leia sighed and leaned back in her chair.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, Leia."

"I know."

"I know how important Rey is to you."

Leia looked at him sharply out of the corner of her eye. Han forced himself to meet her stare.

"She's yours, isn't she?" He asked.

Leia did not blink.

"Does it matter now?"

"It matters to me."

"She's my daughter," Leia confirmed.

Han let out a long breath.

"You knew I would find out," he stated. "Once I knew her name…"

"I wanted you to know. I've wanted to tell you for a long time," she said. "I knew you would put the pieces together."

"Why bother with that sithspit story you told me? Why not just say it?"

"It's not that simple, Han."

He swallowed.

"She looks just like you."

"I think she looks more like my mother," Leia said. "Padme, not Breha. They could have been twins."

Han struggled with the next question. He did not think there was any chance. But he had to know, just in case he was wrong.

"She's not yours, Han," Leia whispered. "I wished she was. You have no idea how much I wished that."

"I did the math," he said. "If she really is almost five, you would have gotten pregnant right before I left."

Leia closed her eyes and Han watched as the color drained out of her cheeks. He felt his pulse ratchet up to a staccato. If he was catching her in a lie, accusing her of cheating, why did he feel guilty?

"Not right before you left," she answered and turned to look at him. "Two months earlier."

Han thought back to the events of those last few months as his life crashed down around him. He left three weeks after Leia sent Ben to the Academy. His son had always been a handful, but in those last few months, he was a nightmare. Yelling at Han, hurling accusations, throwing furniture around, especially when Han would not let him come along… Oh sith. When Han would not let him come with him when he led a raid on the nascent First Order. A raid to rescue his wife.

"Oh gods, Sweetheart," Han murmured. The weight of the realization felt like a block of permacrete on his chest.

Leia nodded. That was about the only thing that could be said.

Rey had been conceived during the week Leia was the prisoner of Supreme Leader Snoke.