Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the plot…SM owns everything else!!

Author's Note: Ugh, sorry for taking so long to update, but I think I'm not going to be able to get any faster than a chapter a week now. Lots of stuff going on…not much time for writing unfortunately. And so many of you guys (and others) have such fabulous stories that I have to carve out time to read them too! If you want something good to read, just check out my fav stories and authors…lots of good stuff there to hold you over until my next update!

Thanks for all the hits, favs and reviews! This chapter is a continuation of the last one; as much as I toyed with the idea of leaving y'all hanging for another chapter, I couldn't do that to Bella! Much more of the rest of the story is around Bella's discoveries, so the next couple of chapters will mainly be from her point of view.

Chapter 10: Confusion and clarity

Where we left off…

"You are my other half. You are my destiny." Her words were accompanied with a luminous smile, coercing him into walking slowly toward her again. He was still 20 feet away when she woke up, still wearing the jacket he had given her.

BPOV

Bella woke with a start and rolled off the couch, landing gently on the quilt that had fallen to the ground during her restless slumber. I can't even sleep without falling! What a klutz I am. She attempted to get up, but put too much weight on her ankle and dropped back to the ground, gasping in pain. The memories from the previous evening came back in waves, flashing in her mind in quick bursts of horror.

She and Josh dancing and laughing.

Jasmine flirting with Josh right in front of her.

Her confusion about why people thought she fainted when she sprained her ankle.

Josh sweetly taking her home and taking care of her.

Josh flying into a rage when her simple kiss wasn't enough to satisfy his primal urges.

The sound of the fragile strands of silk shredding in his callous grasp when she forcibly removed his hand from her body.

Fear, welling up inside her as she contemplated the damage Josh would do to her if she couldn't escape his clutches.

The insane threats Josh spewed as he retreated from her defensive moves; making it clear he had every intention of making her life as miserable as possible.

Those threats echoed louder in her mind now; she was unable to banish the thoughts of his possible retaliation from her exhausted mind. She laughed at her previous fears over embarrassment from her fall during the dance; they paled in comparison to the misery that awaited her Monday morning. Bella shivered reflexively as her thoughts continued to alternate between the horrific events that had just passed and the ones that had yet to occur.

She huddled deeper into the cavernous jacket she was wearing, breathing in the calming scent it held. After a few moments, she was able to calm her ragged gasps into deep breaths and quell the tears that threatened to spill out of her red rimmed eyes yet again this morning. Suddenly, she pulled in a sharp breath and sat up straight, scanning all around her. She looked down and took in her quilt, the torn dress, her throbbing sprained ankle, the bits gravel embedded in her knee and the strange jacket she was wearing. The first three things she distinctly remembered happening the night before, but the last two could only be explained by what happened in her dream. What the hell? Josh must have given me something besides sleeping pills.

Bella continued to sit on the floor, unsure exactly what her mental state was and therefore unwilling to try to move around. Under normal circumstances that could be dangerous; right now, she'd simply be a walking disaster. She took a deep breath, trying to relax and quiet her mind yet again. As she was still shrouded in the jacket, the undeniable and intoxicating scent that she has come to know as his assaulted her senses. I know this is real; there is no other explanation for this! I have never smelled this delicious scent anywhere but with him; it cannot be my imagination.

Bella quickly indexed through the possible rationalizations in her mind, finding none suitable except for the most unlikely. Last night she had thoroughly examined the bottle of pills Josh had dropped…they really were just over the counter sleeping pills. It was a brand new container and was only missing one; she could normally handle that and be fine the next day, so she ruled out a drug induced mania. She grabbed her purse from the couch and flipped through the pictures on her camera; sure enough, Josh had been wearing a suit, complete with a jacket, all evening. She'd never seen him wear a jacket like this either. Phil was much too muscular to feel comfortable in a jacket this size; although it was definitely a men's style and the sleeves were long, they weren't as roomy as Phil's jackets felt when she had borrowed one of them in the past. The most obvious piece of evidence was the style of the jacket; Bella certainly wasn't a fashion maven, but she knew that a jacket like this was definitely from more than a couple decades in the past.

She leaned down, wiping the residue from her fall on the sidewalk from her knees, and inhaled deeply to drink in more of his scent. She closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander through her various memories of him. She mindlessly placed her hand in the pocket of the jacket, stunned to find a piece of paper. She opened up what appeared to be a letter and read it slowly, relishing every word that brought her closer to him.

Dearest Edward,

Carlisle and I both miss you greatly. We understand your reasons behind your decision and acknowledge that it is your choice alone how you live your life; you didn't ask to be changed into this "monster" you insist our kind is. We hope that in time you will find a way to come back to us, but you must let your conscience guide you and not be swayed by guilt. Please consider just dropping by for a simple visit; we miss our son.

With love always,

Esme

"Edward." Bella said the name out loud, rolling it around in her mind trying to see if it fit. "Yes, Edward is definitely his name!" She was excited to finally have a name for her dream boy. With every moment that passed, she was more certain that everything she had experienced with Edward was absolutely real. She turned her attention once again to the letter, carefully scrutinizing this new piece of evidence.

It was wrinkled and faded, with several small tears around the edges; it appeared that Edward had been carrying it in his pocket for some time. The writing was a small, feminine script; Bella had never seen such beautiful writing in her life. The letter had definitely been written to her savior from last night…he had used the same word to describe himself: monster. Edward must have read it many times, probably trying to decide on the right course of action.

She knew she could never believe him capable of doing anything monstrous; at the same time, she couldn't deny that he had taken care of her assailant with a swiftness and vigor that she couldn't quite comprehend. Regardless, she knew the bond of love they shared was unbreakable and it was unfathomable that she could connect in such a way to someone who was evil. It was obvious that whoever wrote the letter also shared her unwavering trust in his true nature. He always tries to warn me he is dangerous, I think he must just not believe enough in himself to see his true virtue like his parents and I do.

As she allowed herself to believe that somehow she had physically been in his presence last night, other answers began to slowly click into place. Why she was always wearing the same clothes she slept in during the "dreams." Why she couldn't find her favorite red hair ribbon anywhere. Why she always felt as if she was actually in the places they met, rather than just dreaming about them. Why her clothes were wet when her "dreams" took place in the rain. I must be physically traveling to these different times and places and then returning to my present while I am sleeping! Surely, it was an absurd idea, but it was the only thing that could explain every bit of evidence Bella had.

How the hell is this happening? I'm time traveling? This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, but I have to believe it. Nothing else makes sense. It is too real; Edward truly is my other half. It is impossible for him to only exist in my dreams. I'd sooner believe myself capable of flying to the moon than believe that he is not walking the Earth right now, waiting for me. Bella's whole world shifted as she fixed her mind on the fact that he was absolutely real, as was the love she felt for him. She felt slightly off balance and incomplete, knowing he was out there but not being in his presence. But at the same time, a strange calmness washed over her with the knowledge that her soul mate was out there, somewhere, and he belonged to her. For she had never experienced anything like these visits before; she was certain that only their incredible bond made it possible. It was as if a thick, unbreakable cord was tethered between them and held them to each other no matter when or where they were. She could almost feel the pull of him, just like in the visits; but it was too indistinct for her to act on it. She thought back to the timing of her visits and what they meant to her. Often they came at critical points in her life, helping sway her decisions one way or another. The path she had traveled down in her life over the past 8 months had definitely been dictated somewhat by the occurrences of her visits. If she hadn't had them at all, she would never have gone to the stupid dance in the first place. I could have lived without that experience. And I really could live without what's going to happen in the next few days.

Well, to be a little more precise, if she hadn't thought they were "just dreams" she wouldn't have gone to the dance. She had fought against her feelings for so long, trying to prove to herself that Edward wasn't real and that she needed to move on in her real life. But deep down, her soul carried on in faith, continually sending her messages until she could no longer deny his existence as her destiny. It seemed to her that the ordeal she went through the previous night was necessary to bring to light that truth of the love she shared with Edward. And that is worth any pain I endure at Josh's hands.

As she thought about what she was willing to go through for Edward, it occurred to her that perhaps her visits were equally pivotal in his life as they sometimes were in hers. Perhaps her presence had changed the direction he was leading his life, as her various reactions to him did for her. She shuddered at the memory of the dark figures she had encountered the one time she had been unable to reach him. It was torturous to her to imagine him in any pain. She shook the thought from her mind; she had no way of knowing the outcome, but she did know that he still existed somewhere in her world. The lightness she felt whenever she saw him had overcome her once she realized their true connection and it was still there; it was this feeling that always guided her to the safety of his presence. She knew now to trust these instincts and let them lead her to her destiny, in whichever path her life took.

Bella had learned from her experiences with the cheese and the resulting nightmare that provoking these visits was dangerous territory. As much as she longed to see him, even just a glimpse, she feared that something she did would inadvertently hurt Edward, so she stuck with her original plan of not trying to incite a visit. But that doesn't mean I can't tell him where I am. She thought about the jacket, as well as her missing red ribbon, very carefully. It seemed that whatever was in her physical possession when she came back would continue to be with her, but if it wasn't touching her, it would stay there. Well, she assumed it would stay there; she only knew it didn't come back with her.

Wait, why can't I just take him back with me? Bella's heart raced as she contemplated having Edward with her permanently. Free to talk to him and just linger in his presence whenever she wanted. Another chance to hold him in her arms and lose herself in his heady scent. Starting her real life with her soul mate at her side, leaving the pain of this empty suburban life behind. But just as quickly, she thought better of the plan, realizing she couldn't begin to comprehend all the things that could go wrong. What if he gets hurt or gets stuck somewhere in between? What about his family? What would I do with him once he gets here? She had only just figured out sort of what was going on with herself; it was much too risky to try and expand this power to include another person, much less someone as precious as him.

She cast her eyes around the living room for inspiration; they settled on her school bag sitting on the steps, with a couple of books spilling out of the top. Excited to put this new plan into action immediately, Bella gingerly stood up, careful to avoid hurting her ankle again. She walked over to her bag and grabbed the first book on top. It was her copy of Wuthering Heights, with random papers stuck in it as bookmarks throughout the book; each marked one of her favorite passages, so she could easily skip to them whenever she wanted.

She grabbed her purse and the book, carrying them upstairs and depositing them on her desk before attempting to struggle out of her destroyed dress. She wasn't letting the book out of her sight so she would always be prepared to take it with her on her next visit. After her shower, she intended on writing a quick note to Edward to tell him where she was and how to get to her. She pulled her phone out of her purse, noting the 6 missed calls and 20 new texts she had received overnight. In the car with Josh on the way home she'd texted Renee to let her know she was headed home from the dance to go to bed; her mother wouldn't expect to hear from her again until later that afternoon. The rest of the calls and texts were from her friends, and she was definitely not in the mood to deal with all of that drama at that point.

Bella hugged the jacket around her one more time, trying to stay in the protective bubble of calmness it seemed to provide her. Reluctantly, she began to undress and then quickly jumped in the shower. Despite the happy revelations it resulted in, she was eager to scrub away the horror of the events the night before. She wanted no reminders left in her life of her experiences with Josh. As the scalding water beat on her scalp, she inhaled the soothing smell of her favorite strawberry shampoo and daydreamed about a future with Edward.

Slowly, Bella's thoughts wandered back to the letter as she wondered what he was doing during this time of his life that had distanced him from his parents. Parents? Is that who this letter is from? Certainly they seem to have a parental concern for him and call him son, but he must be adopted or something to call them by their first names. Then again, it is also pretty clear that he is something other than human, so perhaps that is the explanation for the relationship. This Esme indicates that she and Carlisle are also of the same kind.

She thought again about how he had dealt with her attacker, trying to determine what he was. After throwing him to the ground away from her, he had carried the large man effortlessly and with unbelievable speed and agility to the other end of the alley. She had heard a broken scream followed by a sharp snap and almost instantly he had been returning to her. And then there was the question of what was dripping from his mouth…

(A/N: aren't you glad I didn't just end it here??? I was tempted…LOL!)

Instantly, she cut the shower off and grabbed a towel, drying off as fast as she could. She squeezed as much water out of her hair as possible, not even sparing 30 seconds to run a comb through it before she threw it into a messy ponytail. She grabbed the closest clothes she could find, the sweats she had been wearing the day before and threw them on, not caring what she looked like. Unwilling to part with it for longer than necessary, she shoved her arms into the long sleeves of Edward's jacket and completed her "outfit." She grabbed the book and her phone and tossed them into her purse before making her way down the stairs as fast as her injured ankle would allow her. Pausing only long enough to grab a ball cap from the closet downstairs to hide her messy hair, Bella flew out the front door and locked it behind her. She strode purposefully down the street, flipping her phone open and hitting a speed dial all in one motion.

"Hey Tiffany, are you at the store yet?" Bella's question came out in short bursts; between her exertion and excitement, she was faintly winded.

"Uh, not quite yet. I'm still at the diner picking up my sticky bun. Why, you aren't scheduled to work today, remember?" Tiffany sounded confused, wondering if somehow Bella thought she had to work but couldn't make it. She's probably exhausted after the dance, and I heard there was supposed to be a killer after-party at one of her friend's houses. That's why I insisted she take the day off, she must have just forgotten.

"Oh, no Tiff, I remembered that you gave me the day off. It's just that I sort of have a book emergency! I'm still only a few blocks from my house, so I'll just see you when we both get there. Bye!" Bella wasn't sure exactly what she was going to tell Tiffany about the situation, so she cut their phone conversation short. Plus, it was difficult enough for her to walk without tripping; add in paying attention to what she was saying and an already sprained ankle and she was unlikely to make it the 10 blocks to The Pen and Ink.

Tiffany stood at the diner counter, staring at the phone in her hand. "Can I get 5 more of those and some extra napkins?" This was definitely not a one sticky bun day! Bella was more of a little sister to her than anything, so she knew that girl inside and out. A book emergency could mean a whole lot of things with her; honestly, Tiff often thought Bella loved books more than she did! However, over the last couple months she felt as though Bella had been hiding something, but she was unable to tell what it was related to. At first she had thought she was unhappy with her mother's relationship with Phil, but she always genuinely lit up whenever she talked about the couple, so Tiff had ruled that out as the problem. The tone of Bella's voice on the phone made her think it was finally time for an explanation. She hurriedly paid the cashier and made her way around the corner to unlock the store a few minutes before a disheveled Bella strode through the door.

"Mmm…those smell delicious!" Despite her desire to get started on her quest immediately, Bella's stomach rumbled as the delicious smell of the sticky buns wafted through the air. Tiffany waved the lid a couple times, trying to send the smell over to Bella and tempt her to sit down and eat one. She was determined to get answers to the questions she'd been wanting to ask all summer.

"Sit down and dig in girl! Want a cup of coffee?" Tiff thrust a cup into Bella's hand and pulled her down onto the stool next to her. "Let's chat for a minute about this book emergency of yours."

Author's Note: Please review! I really want to know what you think of the story/chapter (good or bad!). Thanks - MK!

Virtual cookies for anyone who guesses the "walking disaster" reference! And I know I made it almost sound like they are imprints, but I always got the feeling from the way Carlisle describes the way vampires feel about their mates that it was pretty much the same kind of bond for them. One guess as to which book Bella is looking for! Sorry this chapter is kind of short, but it had been a while since I updated so I want to get y'all something. I hope to have the next chapter up later tonight if possible!

Also, check out my other Twilight stories: "Black Friday – Alice Cullen Style!" is a funny story, set post-Breaking Dawn with canon pairings. Just something fun to chuckle at! And my third story "Twilighted Pets" is also up; it is a really, really silly story around the idea of what would happen if my pets were Twilight characters (really silly, but some great funny Emmett stuff!).