Chapter 10

'I'm here,' Jinsei told herself. She reached for her left shoulder, faintly grasping it as she closed her eyes. Like it used to after waking up after every bout, it burned. But the sting right now was gentler, yet much warmer than it used to. Jinsei thought it had much to do with remembering what she was supposed to do and returning to the right direction. 'I'm here… because…' Then, she thought for a moment. 'Because…' she attempted again. 'No… I still don't… know.' Jinsei reached her collar and ran through her memories as she slipped aside the cover of the silvery band's micro controls. Just as it was. The original setup, she thought. 'Who… made this again,' Jinsei asked herself. She tried recalling. Blank. Not a hint. She realized she has not retrieved everything yet. 'Stay by her side…' once-forgotten words from her mother spilled from her head. But no further did this phrase go. Nothing else followed it.

Rinoa watched from a distance. She did not know what was going on in Jinsei's head, but she could tell what Jinsei was feeling. Part of her seemed to feel the same. She glanced at the grey feather on her hand. Should I, she thought. She glanced at Jinsei before focusing her eyes on it again. Then, she clutched it close to her chest and sighed, keeping the feather as she stepped toward the light. "Up a little early," she said, guising up the worry she felt toward perplexed young woman.

Jinsei quickly slipped the cover back. She lifted her head and turned to the direction of the voice. Rinoa, she was smiling at her. Jinsei returned the smile and turned back, then tilting her head. She pressed her fingers along her shoulder before finally putting her hand down to hide under the covers. Her back… it seemed to be acting up again.

"Ruff!"

Jinsei turned to Rinoa's direction once again and saw Angelo as he barged through Rinoa.

Startled, Rinoa teetered a little and stepped back against the wall. "An-ge-lo!" she commanded in her strictest tone attempted, hands on hips. She had forgotten that Angelo had come in after she closed the door. She signaled and called Angelo once more, but the dog simply panted and trotted on without a care. Sighing, Rinoa shook her head as the smile returned on her face.

Angelo gleefully trotted toward Jinsei's bed and heeled. He looked at Jinsei for a moment. Then, he whined as if he, too, worried about her.

Jinsei giggled. "Come," she gestured the furry hound to come unto her bed.

Angelo climbed on and rested his head on Jinsei's blanket-covered lap.

Jinsei patted Angelo's head, smiling as she turned to the dog's owner.

Radiant, sweet smile intact, Rinoa approached Jinsei. "You haven't played with him ever since we got back," she said.

"I know."

"Angelo," Rinoa said gently.

Angelo, responding to his mistress' voice, lifted his head and turned to her.

"Wait outside now," Rinoa said, gesturing.

Jinsei patted Angelo as he turned to her and said, "The princess and I need to talk. Maybe some other time?" Then, she smiled and brought her forehead against Angelo's for a short moment.

Angelo obediently went down and looked to his mistress and to Jinsei, whining, before finally turning to exit. The two watched him leave.

"Hungry already?" she asked.

Jinsei shook her head.

"How are you?"

"Fine…" Jinsei paused to swallow as the cool air escaped through fabric and fabric covering her ruptured back. "I guess."

"Well, you should be. You slept through," Rinoa said.

Jinsei sighed, tilting her head. "You really didn't have to," she said. There was a hint of embarrassment in her voice. She thought Rinoa had already done so much for her.

The uneasiness in Jinsei's voice made Rinoa giggle for a split second. She shook her head. "I wanted to," she said smilingly. Yes, she wanted to. She simply wanted to. It was her choice. It was simply her choice. No explanation. No words beyond them. Jinsei did not have to feel that way, but Rinoa quite understood so.

"Why?" Jinsei asked. Why --- she has asked this question more than once, more than twice, more than a few times over. She knew what would happen next, but she never seemed to tire from asking it. She wanted to know. That was just it… or so it seemed.

Rinoa smilingly shook her head again. "Sometimes, if I want to… I just want to. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Jinsei smiled a little. The same, princess' answer, it was always the same one.

"Master Lu was here last night."

Jinsei nodded. She stayed quiet for a while as her mind seemed to receive something from the air and from the princess herself. She felt a little unease run along her veins. "Did he tell you something?" she asked.

Rinoa shook her head again, dark eyes turning from Jinsei. She thought about the feather and the slight hints from the old master. No, he had not told her anything, she felt no need to ask him further. 'Should I,' Rinoa asked herself, cursing this and the rest of her difficult choices from the beginning onward.

"Something wrong, princess?" Jinsei asked. She knew Rinoa was not lying, but something was definitely wrong. The princess' anxiety was evident, and Jinsei could sense strongly that she had much to do with it. She did not want this. No. Not Rinoa. Not the princess. She slowly stretched her hand toward Rinoa but stopped as awareness dawned on her once more.

"The sky will turn red again," Rinoa said, holding her stare at Jinsei for a while. "But with or without it, there are no guarantees. Nobody can predict the future. I've lost, Jinsei… more than once." She revert her focus toward the creased blanket of white. Thoughts of uncertainty made her uneasy that she did her best to avoid them at any cost. But, not this time. She could not.

Jinsei reached for Rinoa again. "What ---" her query was cut short as she felt Rinoa's weight push quickly, forcefully toward her that she was almost knocked off. The grasp. Jinsei felt her heart stop for a second. Then, it jumpstarted, kicking off intensely enough to jolt her. The collar, she thought. It was made to be virtually indestructible as it was to normalize her at all times, but it had failed her. How? Why? Rinoa, her spirit seemed to call out. The princess' arms and the warmth seemed to kill her slowly. Something seemed to tear. Something seemed to break. Something seemed to crash. Something seemed to fall apart. Jinsei wanted to run away now. To break free. To just get away. But she restrained herself. Not that. No. She was here. She was here to stay by her… no matter what. She reached to hold onto the princess. Slowly. Slowly, her arms wrapped around Rinoa. And then, she slightly pulled her close.

"Angel…" Rinoa whispered almost inaudibly, burying her face against Jinsei's shoulder. Jinsei's arms seemed to comfort her a little, but the impending danger in her head would not go away. Rinoa's grasp grew even tighter. Unyielding. Closer. Here, Rinoa wanted Jinsei here. Just here. With her. Just here with her. Just with her here where it was safe. But she knew not even the highest of reason would grant her that wish, as she herself was granted no pardon with purpose.

"Princess…" Jinsei uttered softly as Rinoa's breath played with her nerves a little. Angel, the word echoed in her head. She is Rinoa's angel, what pretty much sums up life's reason for their strange attachment to one another. But to either of them… to Jinsei herself, did it? Jinsei refused to enter Rinoa's thoughts, but she asked herself as she inclined her head against the princess and closed her eyes to listen to the intensity, which slowly drowned her in the pressing silence as it went on, surpassing seconds and minutes and moments. But it was all right. Somehow, part of her wanted to immerse in Rinoa's sentiments as well.

"Jinsei…?" Rinoa spoke softly, shattering the silence.

"Hmm…?"

"Why didn't you tell me anything?" Rinoa released Jinsei from her grasp and moved a few inches away from Jinsei.

"I couldn't," came Jinsei's reply. In her voice and in her eyes was blankness. Jinsei has known this even before. She wanted to say some more, but she held her tongue. No. Not now. Perhaps not yet. Perhaps never.

Rinoa tightened her arms around Jinsei once more. She spoke not a word and buried her face deeper against Jinsei's frame. The anxiety seemed to ease as she felt Jinsei's arm take her in.

"Smile for me, please," Jinsei pleaded, firming her grasp a little.

The words slipped into her head, prompting the princess to release herself from grasp. She could not bring herself to do so, but she looked deep into Jinsei's eyes as she reached for her. The quivering of her hand was evident as the thought of rejection slightly bothered her.

But Jinsei did not. The warmth of Rinoa's hand roused the nerves on her cheek as her heart kicked off once more. Her walls were breaking again. Rinoa's eyes seemed to look deep into her as they expressed the sentiments Rinoa long contained. No. Jinsei tried to bring herself together. But she could not. She simply could not resist.

Rinoa closed her eyes as she began inch closer.

Jinsei closed hers.

And, time on both worlds slowly began to come to a stop.

Then, a knock.

Jinsei was first to snap from her thoughts. She opened her eyes and turned to the door as sense pumped itself back into her head.

"I'll get it," Rinoa said, sighing, rather irritated. She got up and approached the door to open it.

Quistis. Her arms were crossed as her face carried a stern look. A very stern one, indeed.

Rinoa, surprised, was tongue-tied as her mind went blank for a while. Quistis. Blood rushed her veins. It was time to go.

"I knew I'd find you here," Quistis said.

Rinoa sighed as she turned to Jinsei, who looked across the room. She sensed something in the air, which seemed to come from her. She turned to Quistis again. "In a minute," she said.

Quistis nodded, the sternness on her face becoming more evident.

Rinoa quickly went to Jinsei's side. "I have to go," she said.

Jinsei turned to Rinoa and nodded. She said nothing but smiled back.

"Will you be working later?"

Jinsei nodded again.

"Then, I'll see you?"

Jinsei smiled.

Rinoa returned the smile. "Okay, then." She turned and headed to the door.

Jinsei no longer watched Rinoa head out. Something heavy in her chest simply did not want her to. The door creaked and clicked closed, prompting her to turn to it. The hypersensitivity of her ears still heard voices, Rinoa's and Quistis', and footsteps approaching the end of the hall. She still understood what she could hear until they faded out. She simply shook her head. 'I can't ask,' she told herself. She turned to the window, the sky telling her what would lie on the day ahead.

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NOTES: Fluff Fluff Fluff Fluff… I should lay out on the fluff. Really. (School's out for a while. A really good sign, if you ask me.)