Like a Red Headed Stepchild

by mugglesftw

Harry Potter was born with red hair, but the Dursley's always treated him like the proverbial red-headed stepchild. Once he enters the wizarding world however, everyone assumes he's just another Weasley. To Harry's surprise, the Weasleys don't seem to mind. Now written by Gilderoy Lockhart, against everyone's better judgement.

10. Ch10:Theres no wrong way to be a Weasley

Chapter 10: There's no wrong way to be a Weasley

Professor Dumbledore sat in his office, happily sucking on a lemon drop and reflecting on how things always seemed to work themselves out for the best, when his door banged open.

"I cannot believe he actually did it," Severus fumed, stomping into the office. "What you did was reckless, sir. Lockhart was and is a bumbling idiot. When you hired a fraud like him, I had no idea what you thought you were doing, especially when it became obvious he'd been enchanted by the Dark Lord!"

"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore said amicably, indicating his bowl of sweets. Snape sneered at him, and Dumbledore sighed. "I confess Severus, originally I hired Gilderoy as an example of what sort of person one should not become, as fame and glory are empty trophies. A lesson I had hopped our young Mister Weasley, excuse me, Potter, would have done well to take to heart."

"And yet when he turned up in that ridiculous outfit with his mind touched by the Dark Lord himself, you did nothing," Snape fumed, pacing back and forth in front of the Headmaster's desk.

Eyes twinkling, Dumbledore smiled knowingly at Snape. "Ah, but how his mind was touched! The Dark Lord meant to stop a famous monster hunter who would be capable of killing Supreme Danger Noodle before-"

"Don't call the basilisk that!" Snape snapped. "You're just encouraging the Weasley's stupid story!"

"If that is what Harry claims the basilisk called itself, I have no reason to doubt him," Dumbledore answered. "Regardless, when the Dark Lord modified Gilderoy memories, he made a crucial mistake. He attempted to influence Lockhart into becoming evil, but instead he gave him the courage and skills that Voldemort himself possessed, overwriting Lockhart's true past with his own false past."

"We are fortunate that the twit has mistaken bad theatrics for true evil," Snape growled. "If he had been what he presented himself to be in those damned books, he would have been able to slay half the staff and all the Weasleys!"

"Well, then we should consider ourselves fortunate that Quirinius was such a fan, shouldn't we?" Dumbledore said, selecting another lemon drop from his bowl. "And besides, it turns out that Gilderoy was a capable wizard all along. He merely needed to believe himself to be what he pretended to be. A valuable lesson we could all learn from."

"That's nonsense! There is no moral! How many situations would one find themselves in where your memories of your true past are wiped by a powerful dark wizard and replaced with ones that attempted to turn you into one of his minions!" Snape stopped and glared at the headmaster. "As loath as I am to admit it, we will need Weasley and his hangers on if we are to stop the Dark Lord! We cannot rely on him continuing to make such blunders!"

Dumbledore shrugged. "I think we must trust in the love and affection Harry has found for himself. Is that not the power the power the Dark Lord knows not?"

"He doesn't know how muggle guns work either, but I don't see you suggesting we recruit some muggle soldiers to fight him," Snape answered.

"Ah, but love is a power that surpasses any weapon mankind has ever forged, be they muggle or wizard," Dumbledore said, waving his lemon drop about before popping it into his mouth.

Snape grimaced. "Remind me to tell you about Hiroshima and Nagasaki some time."

/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

"Fred, George, I need your help. There's a prank we need to pull, and I don't think I can manage it myself. I want to redeem my present."

Fred and George peered out from under their pillow fort, wearing their groucho marx glasses. "Did ickle Harrykins, legendary prankster, just admit he needed our help, Gred?"

"Indeed he did, Gred."

"No, I'm Gred today, you're Feorge."

"Oh, right you are Feorge."

Stepping forward, Harry interrupted the nonsensical exchange. "Look, there isn't much time. Luna will be out of the hospital soon, and I want this done for the first dinner she's back for, alright?"

"Pranking Luna?"

"Poor girl's been through enough Harrykins."

"Even we would not stoop so low."

"No, listen, the pranks not on Luna, it's FOR Luna. Here's what I need you to do." Harry quickly outlined his plans, and as he did so ever wider grins spread on the twins faces.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Flitch was skulking through the castle corridors when he heard the unmistakable sound of mischief. That is, he heard the voices of Weasleys.

"I've got you now!" Filch cried, flinging back a tapestry. Behind it, he found two Weasleys carrying a set of large and highly illegal fireworks. He couldn't quite tell which ones they were though, as they had thought to put on cunning disguises.

"Thought you could fool me with some glasses, a fake nose, and a fake mustache did you? Well I still know you're Weasleys," Filch growled. "You've got the red hair."

"You sure about that, Filcher?" one of the cleverly disguised miscreants asked.

The other held up a firework. "How can you prove we're who you think we are?"

"Maybe because we can do this!" The other set off one of the fireworks, causing it to roar down the hallway shrieking, "Flichy is a plonker Filchy is a plonker!"

"That's it, I'll have you expelled for sure this time!" Filch grabbed both of the trouble makers and hauled them away.

"Oh no, not the headmasters office!"

"Anywhere but there!"

Filch blinked, realizing they were just outside of the corridor the Headmaster's office was currently located in. "It's the headmaster for the two of you, he'll deal with you! Pumpkin pasty!"

The gargoyle sprang aside, and Filch banged on the door. "Headmaster, I have to trouble makers who need expulsion!"

The door swung open, and Flich deposited the two Weasley's before Dumbledore. "I caught these two in the hallways with illegal spelled fireworks that insult me personally!" Filch growled.

"They're not to insult you, they're to celebrate the healing of our brother and Lockhart's glorious triumph!" the two boys chorused. To demonstrate, they tapped one firework with their wand.

"Ding dong the snek is dead! Which old snek? The Chamber snek! Ding dong!"

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, smiling at the two enthusiastic youths. "While I must agree with our caretaker that fireworks are illegal, I can understand your enthusiasm boys. It is not everyday one gets to go on an adventure with the famous Gilderoy Lockhart. Still, I think it best you leave the fireworks with me. I shall see to it that they are properly disposed of."

"What?!" Filch squawked. "But the other one insulted me! They even set it off in the corridors! That's why they're wearing those cunning disguises of theirs, so I couldn't identify them!"

"Oh, forgot sir, here's a pair for you," one of the Weasleys said, handing over another set of those insidious disguises.

Dumbledore took them gravely, setting them upon his nose and looking up at Flich. "Really Argus, I can't imagine that these two upstanding students would do anything so mean spirited as personally insult you, our valued caretaker. I'm sure you simply misunderstood."

Filch lept back, growling. "Who are you, and what did you do with the headmaster? I couldn't see it before, but now I know! You must be an imposter!"

"Argus, it's just a children's toy. Really, I would think you might be more perceptive."

While the two adults argued, one Weasley slipped an old battered hat out of their bag, passing it to the other twin. A quick substitution for a drowsing hat on the shelf was made, and then the twins stood, dumping out their fireworks.

"We've learned our lesson-"

"-we'll change our ways."

"No more fireworks for us!"

"We'll let you two sort the imposter issue out."

"Have to be careful, never knew when a switch could be made."

"Very good gentlemen, I'll make sure we have a lovely show of fireworks at the farewell feast," Dumbledore promised.

With that, Fred and George dashed away, the Sorting Hat stuffed at the bottom of their bag while Filch shrieked about imposters and deviants trying to destroy his castle.

"Hurry, we haven't much time," Fred panted.

George nodded, checking the marauder's map. "She's nearly to the hall! Quick, down the secret passage, we'll cut her off!"

Luna was making her way down to dinner, wondering if she really would be able to sit with Harry and the others. Harry had said they had a surprise for her, and warned her not to be late. Still, Luna had thought she'd seen a blibbering humdinger on the second floor and gone to investigate. It had turned out to be nothing more than a horse fly,, but still it had been very interesting to try and catch it and examine the bug carefully. Luna would have sat and studied its crystalline wings for a long time, but she did have an appointment to keep. Just as she was about to step into the Great Hall, she was stopped by the twins.

"Oh, hello Gred and Feorge," Luna said, gazing up at the older boys. "Are you going to be my friends too?"

"Even better," George said (Luna could always tell them apart. George had more wrackspurts about him, while Fred was infested with nargles).

Fred reached into their sack and dragged out a three legged stool. "Come on, quick. Here, I've got the stool."

"Hold still, I've got to fix your hair." George dug out a vial of potion and thrust it into Luna's hands. "Drink up!"

Obediently, Luna downed the vial. Her scalp started to tingle, but before Luna could really consider what was happening Fred and George grabbed her under the arms and dragged Luna into the Great Hall. It was already mostly full, with professors sitting at the head table and eating, while most of the student tables were filling up with hungry students.

Luna was dragged past all four tables, where Fred set out the stool. Luna was lifted up and placed on the stool, and she smiled and waved at everyone, wondering what this was all about.

"Percy!" George hissed.

Fred motioned him forward. "It's your line!"

The self important Weasley brother bustled forward, opening a roll of parchment. "We are gathered here today to participate in a time honored Hogwarts tradition." As Percy spoke, Fred reached into their bag and pulled out a tattered cloth bundle. "-when I call your name, step forward to be sorted into your new house," Percy finished.

"Mr. Weasley, what on earth are you doing?" Professor McGonagall demanded, rising from her place at the head table. "Why is Mrs. Lovegood's hair red?"

Before anyone else could protest, Luna found the sorting hat jammed on her head.

"Hmm? What? Oh! I was sleeping, no one told me- but I haven't finished my song!"

"Just sort her already," George hissed as the professors began to stand and hurry around the head table to where Luna was perched.

"Hello Hat," Luna said brightly. "I don't need a song tonight I think."

"Hat, don't you dare!" McGonagall half shrieked, scrambling to get to the stool before it was too late.

She was just a bit too slow. The Hat cleared its throat and said, "Er, yes, right, sorting. Oh, another Weasley I see. Well, no one can say I didn't do my job this time because you belong with the rest of the Weasley's in GRYFFINDOR!"

Immediately Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione stood and started cheering loudly, while the rest of the students gaped at them.

"You hear that, she's been properly sorted!" Fred declared, pulling the hat off of Luna's head.

George nodded. "Weasley house for her!"

"Come on, quick," Percy said, helping Luna off the stool and tossing the Sorting Hat to his brothers, who immediately ran off with McGonagall in hot pursuit.

"You both get back here young men! Miss Lovegood has already been sorted once! Come back here, we're putting the Hat back on her so she can stay in Ravenclaw where she belongs! Six Weasleys is enough!"

"Put this on," Percy said, handing Luna a pair of black glasses with a bushy moustache and a large fake nose. "Tell everyone you're Luna Weasley and stick to the story."

When her head cleared, Luna found herself sitting between Harry and Ginny, who were eating dinner as if nothing was amiss.

"What just happened?" Neville Longbottom said, eyeing Luna with a large measure of concern. "Where did the new Weasley come from?"

"I came from hunting blibbering humdingers," Luna told the other boy. "Hello! I'm Luna Weasley."

"I don't think you're really a Weasley," Lavender Brown said, narrowing her eyes at Luna. "You're just Luna Lovegood with a dye job and some funny glasses."

"No, look, she's got red hair and the Hat put her in Gryffindor. Obviously, she's a Weasley," Harry said. "That's how this works."

"But Hermione doesn't have red hair," Dean protested.

Percy wordlessly produced a vial of potion and handed it to Hermione.

Hermione downed the potion and within moments, her hair turned a rusty red and freckles appeared on her nose. "See? Red hair, and I'm in Gryffindor. Obviously, I'm also a Weasley."

Before anyone else could argue, a strange wizard with a long white beard, black glasses, a dark moustache, and a huge nose sat down at the head table in the headmaster's spot.

"Who's that?" Oliver Wood wondered aloud. "And why is he sitting in Dumbledore's place?"

"That's Dumbledore," Harry told the team captain. "He's just incognito."

Dinner quietly resumed, until Professor McGonagall reappeared, dragging the twins by their ears with the Sorting Hat under her arm. "Headmaster, I demand that you rectify this situation at once!"

Dumbledore looked up, his eyes twinkling merrily. "But Minerva, how could you tell I was the headmaster when I have such a cunning disguise?"

"Please. I lived through the Marauders. It's going to take more than a pair of silly fake glasses to fool me! Now, these two miscreants have bamboozled the Sorting Hat into sorting Luna Lovegood into Gryffindor."

"She was a Weasley, I swear!" the Hat's muffled voice said from McGonagall's armpit. "She had red hair and not enough sense! Definitely a Weasley."

McGonagall placed the hat on the head table and let Fred and George go, though when they tried to skulk away she fixed them with a glare that practically pinned them to the wall.

"Well gentlemen, what do you have to say for yourselves?" Dumbledore asked.

Fred and George did their best to look innocent. "Well sir, there were these two blokes with funny looking eyebrows."

"And big noses with black glasses."

"Not to mention their moustaches."

"Terribly handsome devils if I may say so myself."

"But not as handsome as us, obviously."

"Anyway, they ran into us while we were innocently making our way to dinner."

"Too right. Well, they shoved the Hat into our hands and ran off."

"We were just about to return the hat to yourself as dutiful students."

"When Professor McGonagall ran up and dragged us back here."

"So you see sir, we're as lost as you are."

"Well, not really lost, we just don't know what's going on."

"Exactly. Innocent as lambs we are."

McGonagall let out a hiss that sounded suspiciously like a cat whose tail had been stepped on.

"Hmm. Well Hat, what is your version of events?" the Headmaster asked.

The Hat peered around, obviously confused. "I just sorted her! She was a Weasley, I could tell. I have a very keen sense for these things. So, obviously, I put her where she belongs in Gryffindor. I don't see what all the fuss is about."

"Hi, I'm Luna Weasley!" Luna said, standing and waving. "You might not be able to tell because of my cunning disguise, but I am. See, I have red hair and everything."

The Headmaster nodded gravely. "Well, I believe that these two Weasleys have earned themselves a detention with me for absconding with school property. As to Miss Lovegood, if the Hat has decided that she is properly a Weasley and belongs in Gryffindor, who are we to argue?"

"No!" McGonagall groaned. "No, not another Weasley! I have seven of them already! It's too many! Filius, you have to help me! She's your student!"

Flitwick looked back and forth between McGonagall and Luna. For the first time since he had met her, Luna was actually smiling. Not a vague, dreamy smile that spoke of being miles away, but a real grin that told of spending time with friends and enjoying life.

"I'm sorry Minerva, but I don't think I've ever seen Miss Weasley before. I'm sure she'll do quite well in your house."

McGonagall groaned and slumped, defeated. "Very well. If you'll excuse me, I'll be in my quarters, drinking calming draughts and trying not to let Gryffindor tower spontaneously explode."

"Nah, we gave the fireworks to the Headmaster," Fred said.

George suddenly smiled. "Maybe we can shoot a few off during our detention."

"Yeah! Disposing of dangerous contraband and all that."

Dumbledore's eyes just twinkled.

Back at the table, Hermione smiled and poured Luna a glass of pumpkin juice. "So, when does the potion wear off?" she asked Fred and George.

The twins blinked and looked at one another. "Wear off?"

Back in her quarters, McGonagall felt a sudden urge to tear out her hair.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\

The end of the term arrived. Luna took up residence in the Gryffindor dorms with little fanfare. Some of the first years gave her odd looks at first, until Hermione "I've defeated a Dark Lord, Stolen the Philosopher's Stone and Dueled A World Renowned Monster Hunter" Granger-Weasley made it clear that as Luna's honorary sister, she would brook no bullying. Ginny and Luna got along rather famously, rekindling their old friendship. Harry really enjoyed going for hunts for creatures that may or may not have been there, and Ron even came up with a few good places to go snorkack hunting.

When exams came, Hermione managed to avoid having a conniption when it turned out that Luna was quite bright and enjoyed studying. Since Harry, Ron, and Ginny still felt pretty guilty about the whole Chamber of Secrets thing, they grudgingly agreed to the marathon study sessions. Thanks to Luna and Hermione's tutotalage, all the young Weasley's managed to earn excellent grades. Even Fred and George took home Es ond Os, mostly thanks to their younger sister's vigilance.

Percy, for reasons known only to Penelope Clearwater (and anyone with half a brain), got an E in two classes to his utter horror.

"That's it, I'm swearing off women," Percy vowed.

"What was that, pumpkin?" Penelope said sweetly.

"Er, nothing," Percy muttered, his face turning even redder than his hair.

At the farewell feast, Lockhart hobbled up to the front of the head table to give a speech. "Well, I am certain we have all had a most exciting year! However, it was more exciting than any of you know. At the beginning of the term, the Dark Lord himself accosted me at my house, attempting to prevent me from taking up my position as Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. We know now that this was so that his cleverly disguised trap could be activated and his basilisk roam the halls. As I am certain we all know, the Dark Lord knew that if a world renowned monster hunter such as myself was on the case, it was only a matter of time before the basilisk was hunted down and defeated. And indeed, with the aid of the infamous Weasley clan I managed to do just that with no loss of life. Once again, I extend my thanks to the Weasleys for their never ceasing efforts to rid the school of evil, and especially to Hermione Weasley for her cunning use of spells." As Lockhart said the last, he winked at the Gryffindor table and twirled his moustache.

Harry and Hermione hid under the table as the other students laughed and applauded.. After a moment, Luna joined them. "Why are we hiding?" Luna asked.

"So we don't die of embarrassment," Harry groaned.

"Oh." Luna thought about this for a moment. "Shouldn't I be the one who is embarrassed? After all, I'm the one who let the basilisk out."

"Don't be silly," Hermione said. "That wasn't you."

"Yeah," Ron agreed, sticking his head under and grinning at all of them. "That was Luna Lovegood."

Catching on, Harry quickly nodded. "Yeah, ask anyone. You're obviously Luna Weasley." To Harry's surprise and further embarrassment, Luna started crying and hugged him.

When Harry looked to Ron for help, he ducked back out from under the table. Hermione just smiled and shook her head.

"Girls are weird," Harry muttered.

Luna hiccuped and smiled up at Harry. "All girls, or just me?"

"All girls," Harry said fervently. "Though you're nicer than most."

"Keep this up Harry, and I might just have to change my name to Potter," Luna said, brushing her lips against Harry's cheek.

"Why would you do that?" Harry asked. "I heard Harry Potter's a right arse who goes around with his stupid scar being famous."

Luna giggled. "And people called me loony."

Eventually, Harry, Hermione and Luna were coaxed out from under the table as the house cup was awarded. To no one's surprise, Gryffindor was once again the victor, as Lockhart and Dumbledore had both awarded a massive number of points to the Weasley's for "finding the root of evil in the school and defeating it."

"It's not fair," one of the Ravenclaws cried. "Luna was in our house."

"Well you should have taken care of her when you had her," Percy said, sniffing and putting his nose in the air.

"That's right!" Fred and George agreed. "We've taken proper care of her. Even gave her her own jumper."

Despite the fact that Christmas had been ages ago, Mrs. Weasley had indeed knitted Luna a sky blue jumper with a silver "L" on it. Luna had insisted on wearing it everywhere, despite the fact that it was June, until Percy told her that as a prefect, he couldn't have any of his firsties dying of heat stroke.

After the Feast came the all night party, during which it turned out that Fred and George had not, in fact, given Dumbledore all their fireworks. Fortunately, there were only a few minor explosions that only marred the masonry of Gryffindor tower, and Professor McGonagall gained a few more grey hairs.

On the ride back, everyone else in the school studiously avoided the two compartments the Weasley family had joined together. For some reason, Penelope and Percy kept having to step out to attend to "prefect duties" despite the fact that normally on the ride back prefects didn't have any duties to attend to. Still, Harry had several galleons of spending money left over and bought enough sweets to turn nearly everyone comatose, even Scabbers the Rat.

"Your rat is very odd, Ron," Luna commented, feeding scabbers a Bertie Bott's. "I don't normally see so many nargles around animals."

Ron shrugged. "Yeah, well, he's mostly useless. Still, he's good to have around if you don't want to eat your vegetables; he's not a terribly picky eater."

"Neither are you," Hermione pointed out.

"Well no, but it's the thought that counts."

When the train arrived back at platform 9 ¾, for a moment Harry was worried that the Dursley's would turn up and he'd need to once more spend the summer with his horrid relatives. Instead, he was hugged and kissed by Mrs. Weasley (though she still called him Charlie) and welcomed home. Waiting with Mrs. Weasley were two nervous looking adults in ordinary muggle clothes, looking very out of place amidst wizarding families who thought that a summer blouse was fine men's wear.

"Hermione, why is your hair red?" the woman asked, smoothing back her own bushy hair.

Blushing, Hermione turned to the rest of her honorary family. "Er, this is my mother and father, Harold and Teresa Granger. Mum, dad, these are the Weasleys, the family that's been looking out for me in the magical world."

Introductions were made all around, and at the end Mr. Granger commented, "Quite a large family you have, Mrs. Weasley. Are they really all yours?"

"Well of course!" Mrs. Weasley said, puffing up slightly in anger. Then she did a double take when she realized that Ginny was not, in fact, the only girl standing by her. "And who are you, dear? Oh, sorry Luna, I didn't recognize you with your red hair. Oh, and Harry, Arthur got permission from your aunt and uncle to stay with us all summer. We have it in l writing. Their only condition was that we degnome their garden. I think we got most of them even."

"Truth be told sir, mum never was very good at maths," Percy said quietly to Mr. Granger. "We've been adding kids over the past couple of years, Hermione included. Sorry about the hair, we didn't realize it was going to be permanent when we gave her the potion for the Weasley Sorting Ceremony."

"Well, you're the chaps that saved my daughter from that troll, aren't you?" Mr. Granger said, shaking Percy's hand vigorously. "As far as I'm concerned, if she want's to become a Weasley, she just has to pick the bloke that's right for her. In a few years, of course."

Penelope slid over, slipping her arm into Percy's. "Not this one sir, he's taken."

Flushing, Percy stammered and tried to explain, only for Fred and George to pop up grin at him. "Ha! Now we have proof! Fancy the young Miss Clearwater, do you?"

"What, Percival! You never told me you had a girlfriend!" Mrs. Weasley bustled over and hugged Penelope. "Oh, I'm so happy for you two! I've been worried you know, Bill's always traveling for work and never has a steady girlfriend, and Charlie, well, he's obsessed with dragons you know. It's a few years off still, but I do hope you too get along well. I would like to have Grandchildren someday, the Burrow is just so empty with all my babies at Hogwarts."

"Mum!" Percy gasped. "Penny and I are 16!"

"Well, I was 17 when I married your father, he was 18 and just getting started at the ministry. And I know Percy will do so well, he's such a hard worker and looks after his siblings so well."

"Um, thank you, Mrs. Weasley," Penelope said, extricating herself from the Weasley horde. "I think I hear my parents. Muggles, you know, don't understand. Bye!"

"Wow Percy," Fred laughed. "You go any redder, and your hair will turn white!"

"We could help, have a lovely potion for permanently turning hair red," George commented.

"This is so gross," Ron muttered. Harry nodded emphatically.

Ginny, Hermione and Luna all sighed. "It's so romantic!"

"Girls are weird," Ron said, shaking his head. "I don't know what's gotten into Percy. Penny's nice and all, but why would he want to get married?"

"He's probably infested with some of those wrackspurts Luna's always on about," Harry said. "Making him go mental. Luna, do you know how to keep away wrackspurts from Percy?"

"Oh no, with love, it's always nargles," a new voice said. A very odd individual, even for a wizard, tottered up to the group of red heads, his eyes slightly crossed and unfocused. "Luna, dear, did a scarlet pimpador bite you?"

"Oh no, I was resorted into the Weasley house by the sorting hat, father," Luna said seriously. "If I had seen a scarlet pimpador, I would have written you at once."

"Ah, a shame that. Well, come along, we must be going, I have an article on the Rotfang Conspiracy to write. I think the muggle dentists are trying to infiltrate the ministry to prevent it now."

"We're doing what?" The Granger's said together.

Luna's father turned back, each of his eyes swiveling to focus on a different Granger. "Oh, are you dentists? Please, I must know: does the mint flavor of toothpaste attract heliopaths, or repel them?"

While Luna's father listened to the very confused answers from Hermione's parents, Harry went over and patted Luna on the back. "I know you don't live very far from the Burrow. I'll see if you can't come over and visit some times. I'm sure Mrs. Weasley would agree you're not eating enough and would love to help fatten you up a bit."

"I don't think it's very polite to tell a lady she needs fattening up, Harry," Luna mused.

Harry blushed. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to offend."

"I'm not offended, I'm just trying to decide if I should be a proper lady," Luna answered, tapping her chin. "I think I'd rather just be a Potter. Or a Weasley, if that's what you insist on."

"Hey, we Weasley's are proper ladies," Ginny protested. "Just ask Hermione."

Luna looked at Hermione, who shrugged. "Don't ask me. All I've done since becoming a Weasley is go on adventures and fight monsters. Doesn't seem terribly lady like to me."

Luna nodded seriously. "That settles it then. I won't be a proper lady, going on adventures and fighting monsters is much more interesting than worrying that I'm too fat."

At last the three families (for now) separated and went their merry ways. Thankfully, Percy was able to activate the invisibility field immediately and fly the car straight back to the Burrow. All the trunks were hauled out of the car, and Harry and Ron went up to their room. Setting his trunk in the corner, Harry looked around at the small bedroom. None of the furniture was new, the bed's were a bit lumpy, and all his clothes were still second hand. Still, Harry smiled.

"It's good to be home," Harry whispered. And he was.

Authors Note:

The poll results are in! Despite my personal preference for UPS as a shipping service, Hedwig the Owl won the poll, and will continue to provide Harry with all his shiping and parcel post needs.

I'm just surprised everyone is so passionate about package delivery options.