Yoo-hoo~ I've been super busy lately that I'm even surprised that I managed to finish this chapter. And then I had the urge to edit this chapter again but then the writing will never end haha...so I will just leave it as it is for now and focus on fleshing out the story more a bit. How have you all been?

Thanks sleepwillow, Savage Kill, Anime no Akuma, kedig82 (damn, you're flattering me so much, I'm blushing) and mangatown2010 for the reviews for the previous chapter. :) And thanks for everyone that left a review, follow and fave while I was on hiatus. I really appreciate it.

10th Night

Secrets & Promises

"Qin, Wake up…"

Mumbling in the hazy state of my mind, I pushed away the finger that prodded my cheek, barely registering the grumble of indignation and whispered words of impatience. I didn't care. I didn't have enough sleep yet. It would take the devil to part me from this soft, soft pillow. Turning to my other side, I sighed contented as my head sunk deeper, crossing the lines further into dreams. It was a sweet dream. It was a good dream. Even though the specifics escaped me…I could still feel the warmth and content left over. And I'm never letting it go.

"Qin, wake up!" Hands shook me.

"I'm awake…I'm awake…" Rising from bed, I fell back to the pillow, eyes closed and floating again, "I'm…awake…"

A sigh, "What am I going to do with you?"

Bare whispers.

"What….No…Yu, wait. I know that look on that face," A hand clamped on my shoulder and rocked me, "Qin, you better wake up now before…"

My blanket and source of all warmth was ripped from me and I felt myself falling off the bed. Heart thundering, my eyes snapped opened only to catch a glimpse of Kanda freaking Yu holding my precious before I slammed against the floor. Pain erupted through my left shoulder and I groaned. What a way to ruin a perfectly good dream…

"…Before it's too late…" Another heavy sigh.

How many times was it already? The hundredth? The thousandth? If he keep sighing like that, I would mistake him for an old man like Sirlin instead of a young lad that he is.

Peeking over the bed, his face was jaded (not that I blame him…this happens too many times) but he still asked, "Are you okay?"

In which I just blew a raspberry, "As if!"

He looked so done….so done, "You're fine."

"Of course she's fine. She's an idiot." Oh, there's my favourite person in the whole wide world - My favourite person to punch! And it's well deserved too!

"Oh Yu," He narrowed his eyes, not really liking the way I used his name…which was the reason why I won't ever stop, "You're such a kidder. It's really funny that you call me an idiot, when you're the one who doesn't know the word 'once upon a time'."

Kanda turned accusingly to Alma who laughed rather sheepishly, "I might've let it slipped…"

Let it slipped? Letting it slip was an understatement. He was practically gushing and squealing the entire recollection of that event at me, every detail unmissed. And multiple times too…until I pretty much have a very clear idea where and which words Kanda screwed up and more hilariously how he seemed confused at the concept of fairy tales. It's also a little funny how it becomes such a sore point for Kanda and its clear in the fact that he had avoided being seen with those fairytale books whenever there's even a hint of human life around. But boy, does he think he's being sneaky but he really isn't.

"I'll have you know, his fairy tale knowledge is much better now, thank you very much." Alma hmphed, sticking his nose in the air and folding his arms looking like a proud father figure slash teacher.

…Or more accurately…like a proud boyfriend…I silently sniggered. Oh they have no idea how many blackmail material they're handing over to me. I have to give it to both Alma and Kanda though. Alma had the patience of a saint, guiding Kanda through book after book even though the latter gets blasty and cursey when he get's stuck but at least Yu never gave up. So kudos…I guess.

Kanda stepped in front of Alma, "Well, you're the bigger idiot. I've never seen anyone who falls down over nothing, babbles nonsense and change the subject midway like you forgot what you're talking about and keeps getting lost even though everyone showed you where to go multiple times!"

I held up my pointer finger and opened my mouth only to close it again a second later. He got me there.

But I'm stubborn. Like hell I would let him one up me like that.

"So, Yuu," I picked at my fingernails as I pulled his name, "You've been getter at words right? So can you tell me what's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?"

He frowned, falling silent for quite a while before glaring, "You're making that up. That's not a real word."

"Is it?" I lifted my brow in challenge. Well, I'm not the one who made it up…

"Enough with word games…mind games! Let's get going already," Alma huffed, stepping in between the both of us.

"Uhh…to where?" I patted the lints and dust off my clothes.

"To see our friends, where else?"

Oh…he meant the Cold Containment Chamber.

"Come on, let's go!"

And despite all my efforts, all my resistance, I still find myself in the Cold…oh so freaking Cold…Cold Containment Chamber, listening to Alma yapping off about one thing or another while Kanda leaned against the wall, off in his thoughts on who knows what. I already knows why Alma wanted to come here every single morning and yap off but there was many times where he dragged me and Kanda around (separately of course), pointing out who's who and what's what. But I can barely even keep up with the days, let alone memorise all the names of the sleeping Seconds. Besides, what's the point? They…No, I shook my head. I didn't want to think about it.

How long are you not going to think about it?

Just not now. There's still time, right?

I sneezed, breaking through parts of Alma speech as he leapt up in the air surprised. The timing and the look on his face was so funny that even Kanda sniggered (even though he tried to hide it). Alma glanced straight at me and I waved him off apologetically.

"Now, how long are you going to continue your condiment talk? It's cold out here."

"Condiment talk?" I shrugged, "Ya know…Pepper, honey, mustard…Mayo…"

He didn't find my joke funny.

"Nevermind," I sighed, looking down into the waters again and what do you know…it's one of the empty ones…

Great. Just when I don't want to think about any of this, it always comes creeping back. I covered my eyes, dreading the whirlwind of thoughts that threathen to start up again.

"Hey, are you okay?" I could hear Alma on my left, closer than before…which means that he was right beside me.

"Do you always have to be so gloomy?" A flash of a boy who had been my friend frowned at me.

It's been a while since I've thought of that. I tilted my head to the side and gave a wry smile at Alma, "Peachy…as always."

"Nah, talk to me." He elbowed me and I rubbed the sore spot that haven't quite healed from the last trip to the synchro-testing room…none of it have quite healed.

I shook my head, not really willing to open that can of worms.

"Come on, you know you want to," If he keeps elbowing me like this, I might just push him into the water…for once.

"Alright, alright, stop using your sharp elbow on me," I scooted a step away but he stepped closer bring the distance back to none, "Jeez, nosy much?"

"Well," He huffed with a bit of indignation, "So far nosy me have worked right? You became my friend and after so many trials and errors and wounded pride-"

"Pride?" I wiggled my eyebrows, "Is that really something that you have?"

"Shut up," He knocked his shoulder against mine, "It worked on Yu too in the end."

His gaze started to cloud over as he stared into the pit, "It's kind of weird when I think about it…I was all alone when I woke up almost more than a year ago…Everyday, there was nothing for me to do other than to come here and talk to them…and even though Doctor Edgar and the others had been kind and nice to me…it felt strangely lonely. It's like the entire space was so large and empty and no matter how I fill it with stuff…not that I have much stuff to begin with…it stills feels empty. And then Yu wake up and you followed not too long after. I have to say...It's kind of nice…not being alone for a change."

I suddenly have nothing to say.

After weeks and weeks of hearing nothing but nonsense from him, this sudden sense of depth greatly surprises me. He had given a strong impression of silliness, to hear this from him…felt odd to me…and yet, at the very same time, it made sense.

And…deep down, I felt a familiarity with the way he describe the empty lonely space…It was like an echo of who I am…who I was before all of this. But in my case, no matter how many friends or how many people I shoved into that large empty space…it never stops feeling empty.

There was always a distance between me and the people around me…an invisible cage I can't surpass…Just like right the distance between me and Alma…at this very instant.

Sometimes…I wonder how much of the real me others truly see when they see me?

The sudden rush of thoughts tugged at my heart, pulling open one by one the bars that kept the dam shut…but before it truly let loose, I clamped my hand around it, snapping it shut once again. Like hell I'm going to let it tear open my soul.

"Good for you," And silence fell on us again.

But it was the source of discomfort on my end. As it dragged on, the thoughts in my mind started to flow and intensify, taking a life of their own…and if I did nothing, it would become worse.

"Hey Alma," I tilted my head towards him, focusing on him, "Do you think it's weird that even though there's only three of us are awakened…that there's seven empty sleeping pits in here? Have they always been empty?"

If I could roll my eyes at my own mind I would. To avoid thinking of unhappy things, the first thing that came was unsettling things? Really? But then, even though I was hoping to talk about something more casual and fun, this would have to do.

His brows furrowed, "I guess you're right, but they've always been empty. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I sunk my chin on my arm, "Just curious."

He gave me a look as if he was trying to measure up and decode what I had said but I didn't care to return the gaze…It would only lead to more questions…questions that I'm not willing to answer, not when I myself don't have the answers.

At the very least. Now I know it was nothing.

But even as I came to that conclusion, I couldn't find it in myself to relax as my mind flashed back to that room with bended doorway and wrecked furniture. Uneasiness washed over me as I found myself surrounded by even more questions like…what was that room? Who used to be in that room? Was it the exorcists before us? What exactly happened in there?

Zu Mei Chang wiped the top of his forehead as he set the knife down, admiring his handiwork of thinly sliced cabbages. It was perfect for the fried noodles the chef wants to cook and serve today. In one fast movement, he swiped the cabbages into a bowl and replaced it with another half, knife moving in fast, practiced movements that sets his mind and soul at peace.

He was in his element.

And the kitchen was the favourite place in the entire ninth laboratory. There was something about the energy from the motions of cooking, the smell of fresh food and the loud cheerful chatter between the staffs that fills him with ease. It almost felt like when he was a young boy again, before he had even started to learn the art of being a sorcerer and before everything else…

His chopping motions slowed, and his mood soured at that sudden swing of thought. And as the thought bloomed with unpleasant memories one by one, he could feel the self hatred and shame slowly crawling up the back of his spine.

He slammed the cleaver down, digging the blade onto the chopping board, cutting down the thoughts before they start to take root. Even without looking up, he could feel eyes boring into him, wondering what caused such a visceral reaction. And to Zu's relief, he heard a familiar voice chasing off the staring bystanders. And before he knows it, that person was standing before him, one hand on their waist and the other prying out the cleaver from the board and setting it down properly.

"Oi, Zu Mei, you might want to stop doing that unless you're helping us chop up more firewood, my friend," Chef Peng, one of Zu's friend laughed even though Zu could pick up a hint of concern in his voice, "And you don't really want to be a bad influence on the new kid, don't you? The boy looks up to you. And if he ends up following your example…the poor boy would have to pay out of his pockets for a new chopping board."

Zu's lips quirked up a little at the thought of the scrawny new kid cleaving the thick chopping board in half in one blow, "As much as that's an amusing thought, I don't think he has the strength to break a chopping board that has been around twice as long as he has."

"You're right. His fingers might break first," They both slowly moved away from the kitchen workflow and sat at the little table at the back, pouring cups of tea and sipping away.

"So," Chef Peng, set the cup down, pouring another round of tea, "What has got you upset this time?"

"No different from the normal," Zu couldn't even keep the grimness off his voice as his visage of the past hang over him heavily like a coat he couldn't fully shake.

"It's a long time ago, my friend. You should forgive yourself and move on."

"I can't," He admitted it quietly, "The sins that I've committed are still continuing and until it stops, I don't think I can forgive myself or move on."

Chef Peng let out a heavy sigh, filled with both understanding and utter disapproval. He had already known that his friend was as stubborn as a mule and nothing he could say would change his mind. The silence that hangs over the both of them was comfortable and yet tensed, just like the nature of their relationship since it began a long time ago.

"You've already made the decision to stop the Second Exorcist project, the moment you realised the ramifications and the consequences," Chef Peng set the teapot down, "When the Generals and Epstein pushed for it to continue. There's nothing you could've done."

Chef Peng grumbled as he watched Zu's face still remained in one of barely disguised pain, "Why must you insist on torturing yourself like this?"

"Have you seen the awakened Seconds?" It was frustrating that his old friend danced around the reply like this.

"You mean those three? Er…Alma, Yu…and what's that kid name again…Qin?" Chef Peng scratched the back of his neck, "Of course I've seen them. I see them everyday."

"They are suffering because of what I've done," The tea tasted bitter, "And nothing I do can change it."

"…Even so, you're trying your best," Even if it doesn't change the things you've done, the silence was pronounced, "If you haven't intervened, Epstein would've full control of the Second Exorcist Project…Heh, I would say that Missy Twi is doing pretty well considering the circumstances."

Zu closed his eyes. And I've dragged even more people into the mess I've created. When he had resigned from the Second Exorcist Project, he had even put down his mantle as the Head of the Asian Branch…And the Head of the Asian Branch has always been a Chang and passed down to another Chang, just like how his father had passed it down to him and how he had passed it down to Twi…If only he didn't burden them with the weight of his mistakes…

"Speaking of which," The voice of his friend brought him back out of his thoughts, "There's something I still can't quite understand…"

"And that is?"

"Isn't your boy Edgar closer to you in blood? So I wonder why you chose Missy Twi to be your successor instead of your nephew."

Zu sighed, pouring another cup of tea, dragging the seconds of silence longer, "It was my original intention for him to become my successor. That was the reason why I had brought him into the project in the first place…However…circumstances changed."

He didn't allow those awful memories to have even a remote chance to haunt his mind again…he couldn't take it.

"Even if that boy-"

"Man," Chef Peng chuckled slamming the cup down on the table, "Edgar haven't been a boy since he's been wed to the Missy!"

"That's true," Zu couldn't help but to let a smile played on his lips but it faded as quickly as it came, "He would've made a wonderful leader…but he has a weakness. Two weaknesses"

"…" It was Chef Peng's silent stare that let Zu know that he had finally understood. It wasn't hard for him to get it. After all, he had been there when it happened…and he witnessed everything.

"I supposed it was the best," Chef Peng finally sighed and they let the silence played comfortably around them.

"Hn," Zu agreed lifting the cup to his lips…

But tried as he might, he couldn't keep his thoughts from straying to the children of the Second. And the more he thought about them, the more his worries compounded. Alma's sense of loneliness…Yu's dreams and visions, the risk that lies ahead…And Qin…As he thought about the youngest of the Seconds to awakened, he couldn't help but to worry even more. From the day she had awakened…there was something strange in her eyes…it was like a sense of awareness and maturity that was mostly absent in Alma's and Yu's when they first awakened. And for quite a long while, Zu had thought that he had imagined it. But that night…near that place…he could see it again. He wasn't sure why but it almost felt like she knows what had happened…but that's not possible.

Is it?

It was almost like back then, wasn't it?

"Achoo!" Edgar pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his nose, his cheeks burning at the eyes of the mess hall drawing towards him.

It was just his luck that he happened to sneeze at the exact pivotal point of conversation that shattered through the flow of chatter that normally overtook the mess hall. Silently, he apologised and was instantly relieved when the eyes fell off him one by one and the room resumed to its usual state.

"Whoah, Doctor Edgar, that was a big sneeze," Alma looked up at him with wide eyes, his spoon filled with mayonnaise hanging in midair, "Are you getting sick?"

"Probably not," He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling uncharacteristically foolish, "Someone must be talking about me."

"Really?" The kid's eyes began to sparkle, "You mean you can actually tell that someone is talking about you when you sneeze? Does that mean that every time I sneezed, there's someone talking about me? I used to sneeze a lot in the past…Does that mean that was Yu talking about me? That's so cool!"

"That's not really-" He couldn't even get an inch out.

"Oh, oh! Qin had been sneezing a lot lately, does that mean that people are talking about her?"

Edgar's head swung towards the girl who sat at the opposite side of the table to Alma, rolling her spoon around the top of the bowl, spilling many of the supplement over and with a creasing brow, looking none too pleased.

"Er…" He couldn't actually say that Alma was wrong on that assumption considering that she had been the topic of most conversations among his colleagues lately.

"I don't think that's how that works, Alma," She propped her elbow onto the table and leaned the side of her face onto her palm, "It's just a belief and a saying. It doesn't really mean that someone's talking about you."

And how would you know that? Edgar kept quiet, the smile on his face never quite fading, although internally, he can't help but to feel a sense of worry. His mind hastily tries to recall every kind of book that had been in their hands and would possibly landed in ther hands and wondered which book was it that contained that kind of trivia. But he was pretty much a regular guy, he can't recall everything that clearly.

"Ugh…I'm hungry," It was like a ninety degree change. One minute she felt like an adult and now, she was like a child, pressing her cheek against the table and eyeing the bowl of supplements with a healthy amount of disgust.

In all honesty, Edgar wouldn't want to be eating that too.

"But I want real food! Give me real food!" Qin whined and Edgar couldn't help but to chuckle. If he had not known any better, it felt like he was on a normal outing with his three children and have to deal with the youngest who's a picky eater who refuses to eat their vegetables.

"Those supplements are good for you. You should eat up."

She stared at him almost accusingly, "Easy for you to say. You're having vegetable spaghetti," and proceeded to eye his food with jealousy.

"…Er…" She's right, "Okay, maybe you can have something good if you finish up."

Almost instantly, she sunk in despair, "Ugh that would take forever."

Edgar could only laugh at her reaction. It was strange but it was moments like this that he felt like it was like back then all those years ago when Bak was still like a kid. In fact, this was the exact reaction Bak had whenever he was forced to finish his vegetables.

Qin sat up, back straight, eyes staring down at him (not tha she could considering that he was taller than her by a lot) as if challenging him, "Two spoonfuls. Then, that's it. I get to eat something nice for a change."

That's not going to happen. If he would allow it, Twi would kill him, and if she won't, Sirlin Epstein would kill him, "Maybe half."

"Half a spoonful?" Qin's eyes sparkled.

"Half a bowl," Twi spoke offhandedly as she passed by causing Qin to jump, "No negotiations."

"You heard the woman!" Rikki yelled as he followed, "Eat your veggies, kids!"

In which Qin's response was to stick her tongue out at him. "Ugh, even veggies would be better than this," She shoved a spoonful into her mouth and chew with reluctance. But then her brow rose a little. Uh-oh, she's scheming again. He had been around these kids long enough to know how exactly they react to certain things and the cues that they were going to get into trouble again. He watched silently as she stared at the bowl and slowly shifted it closer towards the edge. Is she thinking of pushing the bowl down so she wouldn't have to finish it?

"Don't. even. think. about. it," Renee's frozen glare was enough to stop her.

"What?" Qin puffed her cheeks and threw her arms in the air, looking almost offended, "What? Why is everyone ganging up on me today?"

His colleagues who had caught wind of the conversation were snickering and chuckling behind her. And she immediately caught wind of it, throwing her head back and glowering at them with the same intensity as Renee's frozen glare…but unfortunately, she ended up looking not so menacing and more like a miffed child instead.

"Aw, Qin…It's not that bad, especially if you add a little mayonnaise," Alma waved his spoon around before scooping up a spoonful and pointing it towards Qin's direction, "Wanna try?"

Qin shrunk back, looking almost sick, "No. No thank you."

Alma didn't look the slightest miffed or disheartened, "What about you Yu? I promise it's delicious," Alma changed his target to the boy beside him and almost instantly, Qin started inching away expecting a fight to happen (and she wasn't the only one…Nearby scientists inched away too) but Edgar couldn't help but to notice that she had purposely left the bowl behind. But Yu didn't get angry of yell or even throw a fist…instead just shook his head and pushed away the spoon with his own back to Alma. Qin looked almost surprised…but Edgar just felt his heart melt.

Just when did they become so close?

But the how's didn't really matter to Edgar. All that matters to him was that the three of them was getting along much better than they had before and that they were much, much closer now. And more importantly, Alma was looking much brighter and much happier than before. It eases his worries for a bit. I really hope that they can stay like this for a little longer…

"I don't see half the bowl gone. Not finish, no deal," Twi set her cup of coffee down beside him and took a seat.

Qin groaned, pressing her forehead against the table.

Edgar laughed but his mind was filled with conflicting thoughts…Things felt so peaceful…almost like a dream. A dream that he hopes won't ever end.

"Again! Connect with the Innocence!"

Edgar turned away from the glass, the sight of them collapsing onto the ground was too much. And even though it was so far away, he could almost swear he could smell burnt flesh.

"Sirlin, don't push them," It was the same argument over and over again but Edgar couldn't help but to say it again.

"Push them? It's the most successful we had in years! We're so close! I could feel it!"

"Sirlin, you-" He bit down on his words.

He couldn't step out of line.

His gaze briefly met Twi's who had a hint of warning shining from within her eyes, and he quickly turn away, his feet leading him out of the door and away from Sirlin's loud booming voice and the screams of Qin, Yu and Alma… It felt endlessly childish. What they were doing…the experiments…the Second Exorcist Project, he knew the reasons why they were doing it…but when it comes to those children…he can't. Even though he knows the truth behind the project and that they weren't actually children…but every time he saw them, he couldn't help but to see Bak in them…and in the end, he treated them like his children.

To see them hurt and in pain, he couldn't bear it.

"That was unnecessary," Twi's heels clicked and bled into silence as she stood in front of him.

"I know…" He couldn't even meet her eyes. He couldn't face her. At least not now.

"And, I'm sorry…" That you have to carry my burden…because I couldn't do it.

"Okay…what are you doing?"

I lifted my eyebrow at Alma who was busying himself, pushing Kanda's bed from the end of the room till it was pressing against his own, creating a situation where his bed was sandwiched between mine and Mr. Grumpy Bear's over there. My brow rose higher as I demanded an answer even though I already have a rough idea of what he was doing.

"Isn't it obvious?" Alma gasped, mock wiping his brow as if pushing the bed took a lot of effort, "We're having a sleepover!"

"Uhh…Alma, we live in the same room. We do sleepovers everyday."

"But never like this! I mean, imagine how great it would be if the three of us could sleep shoulder to shoulder?"

I held my shoulder which was tightly bandaged and aching and couldn't help but to flinch. Ugh…That did not sound a least bit tempting right now. I feel so fragile and wobbly, like my body would fall apart at any moment. And considering the facts and circumstances, it just might. And I'm totally not looking forward to that. "At least leave some space in between will ya?"

"No way."

"Then some shoulder space at least," I sneaked a peek at Kanda who was just leaning against the doorway looking ready to keel over at any moment, "You know how grumpy bear over there likes to toss and turn at night. You sure don't want to be that close when his fist meets your cheeks."

I could already feel him glaring a hole in my back…but he didn't say a word.

"Fine! But we're all still sleeping together."

It wasn't long before the lights dimmed and the three of us were huddled up in bed, careful not to aggravate each other's injuries. Then we talked. Well, Alma talked a lot on his own until everything eventually simmered into silence accompanied by the humming of the machines. And I was by myself with my thoughts again. No matter how I tossed and turned, I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head.

"Hey, Alma?"

"Hm?"

"Alma, can you promise me something?"

"What is it?"

"Promise me…"

"Hn?"

"Promise me that you'll stay as you are. That no matter what happens…you will never change."

"What-"

"Just promise me," I pressed, heart beating fast.

There was silence. I thought he was going to ignore me. But then, a hand wrapped around mine, feeling it with warmth. And the way he gripped it, felt so sincere, like he was willing me to believe him.

"I promise."

I didn't believe in promises…but I truly hope that this one lasts.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

you make me happy, when skies are grey,

You'll never know dear, how much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away.

To be honest, when I decided to rewrite it, I wanted to focus more on the other scientists and their dynamics towards each other but each time I tried, I kinda get pulled back into Qin's narrative. And then, I just gave up and power through the rewrite and decided that I should start from where I stop. And all these came. I never planned for Zu to take center stage but after brushing up a lil on the manga (I couldn't re-read the whole thing yet, I'm swamped), I kinda realised that Zu plays a really big role in Kanda's life. So here's Zu.

Hopefully, I get to explore a lil bit more before we get to "that" part.

It's a bit hard to get a handle on the scientists characterisation since there's not much on them in the manga but I hope that I can make it believable base on what information I managed to dig out. I'm kinda excited since we barely get much from the manga and I've always wondered how they would be like.

It would be great if you guys could tell me what you think about this chapter and go crazy with the scientists headcanons! Like, I feel like Renee would have a collection of mini cactuses on her desk! Random and ooc, maybe! But I think its hilarious that Rikki would in turn would stay clear of her desk in fear that she would hurl one at him. And because of the peace and quiet she gets around her cactuses, she likes them a lot.

Take care everyone. I'll see you in the next chapter.