A/N Don't own, don't sue
A/N Song: Incomplete; BSB tiny change made to the lyrics 2am Alexz Johnson of course.
Wow! I sign into my email today and eight of you have reviewed! I don't think I've ever seen responses so fast! I'm sorry for torturing you guys this long with the diagnosis but I couldn't risk a little suspense! I promise in this chapter it gets explained, and hopefully none of you will kill me when you discover what the diagnosis is! I am very glad that all of you like the direction this was going, I was starting to worry that I was failing my wonderful readers!
carenicoleIQ: I am so glad you've found this story and are enjoying it thus far!
Chapter Nine
The doctor had left over an hour ago, yet Tommy nor Jude had spoke since the full diagnosis hit. Jude's mind is a sea of confusion, right now she can't figure out which way is up and which one is down. Her sparkling orbs of blue stare down at the foot of her bed where the doctor had left her medications and several pages of instructions, but not one of them were discharge papers. No the doctor had insisted she stay for 24 hours, just for observation.
She reaches up running her free hand, the one not attached to an IV stand, through her short silken tresses of sun bleached gold. She could process the fact she's dehydrated, she can even kind of fathom the bladder infection that was wreaking havoc with her insides, but that was as far as her comprehension went.
Tommy remains by her side in the chair next to her bed refusing to even allow everything the doctor had told them to enter his conscious thought process. He'd look after her as he had promised her and the doctor; he'd stay right here until her release and face everything else when he took her home. His eyes like deep blue marbles with traces of black mixed in are transfixed on Jude, he wants so badly to touch her but with the look on her face he's not entirely certain he wouldn't get hit for it or yelled at. Finally he chooses to at least break their current shocked silence, "Would you like me to go call Sadie to be here with you tonight… instead of me?" The pain in his voice at the idea of not being wanted now that they'd found out what was wrong was evident. He can see that she's scared, but now he's so afraid to touch her, unsure of she wants him to. He knows it's his own fault, if he hadn't been such a fool back in New Brunswick it wouldn't even be an issue.
She turns her head slowly to look at him; everything she did was in slow motion right now like she was moving through a fog. Her long dark lashes slowly lower and kiss her cheeks as she stares at him trying to process the question she'd been asked. But it's not until he stands, figuring her silence is an answer that she finally speaks; her hand reaching up and grasping his to keep him from leaving as she finds her voice. "Stay Tommy… Please?" She doesn't want to give him false hope of a relationship but she needs her best friend.
He nods slowly leaning down to kiss her forehead softly before taking his spot back in the chair. "As you wish Girl," he fights a grin saying this as he knows her secret obsession with the movie it's from. But he loves her enough to know these things and millions more. "Do you want to talk about it Girl?"
"Not yet… Please? Tomorrow, when we're not in a hospital, maybe we could go to the lake?"
"We'll see. We can talk to the doctor about it when he checks you out before releasing you tomorrow. Okay?" He brings her hand to his lips over the rail of her bed and kisses it slowly and gently while his eyes never leave her. He knows he is going to have to work to get her back, to get her to trust him enough to give him another chance. She trusts him with her life, with her music, and with her secrets; just not her heart right now. But he'll be the kind of man he never was before, he'll be patient and with her he has always been faithful. The part that amazed him and Kwest sometimes is that he could remain faithful when they weren't even together.
"What's on your mind Quincy?" she smiles in that knowing fashion of hers, albeit a bit weaker than her usual self.
"You."
"Okay, what about me?"
"Everything we've been through, where we are now, and how big of a mistake it was for me to say the things I said to you in jail. I know I'm going to have to work to prove to you that I want us to work, that I won't run scared again. I'll do whatever it takes Jude."
"I know you will. Let's talk about it tomorrow, okay?" Even as she asks her hand with the IV line sticking out of it lifts to cover her mouth, stifling a yawn.
He stands placing the hand he'd been holding onto her stomach then reaches to rest his hand upon her cheek before kissing her forehead. "Get some sleep Girl, I promise I'll be here when you wake up."
She nods slowly and watches as he starts to go sit down in a very uncomfortable chair and carefully she scoots over in the small bed. "Lay with me?"
He stops near the chair turning at the sound of her voice and he can't help the smile that creeps across his lips, that almost sad shy smile he always has with her when she's melting away the walls he has always had up around his heart and his soul. "Are you sure?" As she nods in response he says, "Okay." He crosses the short distance to her and carefully climbs onto the bed, neither caring about policy as he slides an arm under her curling it around allowing him to play with her hair as his other arm lies across her side. His fingers brush the exposed flesh of her lower back softly as she nestles closer against him.
He watches as she slowly drifts to sleep, wrapped in his arms and pressed against him in the small hospital bed. His eyes mist over as he watches her sleep, well he thinks she is anyway, his voice is a deep soothing whisper as he starts to sing unaware that she hears him and the sobs he's biting back with every note.
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is any body's guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
He pauses at the end of the second verse his brow knitting in confusion; he thought he'd felt her move. Dismissing it he wraps his arms around her tighter resting his cheek against her forehead knowing she could sleep through a freight train outside her window, so she wouldn't likely notice the tears falling from his deep blue eyes onto her warm skin.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
I do mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't want to make you face this world alone
I don't wanna let you go…
She can feel his tears, and the emotions running rampant through him as he sings so softly, bearing his heart for her more than he had already. She doesn't move, doesn't make a sound not wanting to interrupt him and scare him off, something that is easy to do.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
As his voice fades and his breathing slows he starts drifting off, holding Jude close to him. She doesn't admit she heard him, making sure he's asleep before she very carefully climbs out of bed and walks to the window, pulling her IV stand with her and not caring about the fact the hospital gown is basically backless. When she had climbed out of bed she'd taken note of the time, and it seemed fitting that it would be now the song would run through her head. Softly she begins to sing as she stares out of the window at the city lights displayed in front of her, easily seen from her room on the sixth floor of the hospital.
Snow falls on the city
White on white
It's the color of hope
On an unforgiving night
You kissed me into ruins
Sin on sin
Now I've got to love your love letters
Written on my skin
I can't tell the stars
From the downtown lights
As she holds the last note of the previous line a bit longer and higher than she had the rest of the song Tommy was fully pulled from sleep by the sound of her voice, but he makes no move to announce it, content to listen to a song he'd never heard being sung with such raw emotion it nearly broke his heart all over again.
If I said I was truly over you
My heart would say "amen"
But I give in to the cold caress of 2am
If I admit I can't get used to this
Will my heart break again?
As I fall into the waiting arms of 2am
Someone's scratchy music through the walls
Sirens waving through the streets
I must have missed your call
I'm gathering up these nights
Black on black
I know your voice like it's my own
And it makes my heart go slack
He can't help silently climbing out of the bed and crossing the room to her, grateful that the lack of light in the room kept his reflection from showing in the window her hands and forehead now rest against as she sings.
I can't tell the stars
From the downtown lights
If I said I was truly over you
My heart would say "amen"
But I give in to the cold caress of 2am
If I admit I can't get used to this
Will my heart break again?
As I fall into the waiting arms of 2am
His hands lift and curl gently against her hips causing her to around and face him even as she begins the final verse. After all it's not as though she hadn't sung for him before, a million times at least in the last couple of years. She faces him but allows her bare back to rest against the cool surface of the window behind her.
If I said I was truly over you
My heart would say "amen"
But I give in to the cold caress of 2am
If I admit I can't get used to this
Will my heart break again?
As I fall into the waiting arms of 2am
"Jude…" He breathes her name as though it was a lover's caress instead. His hand leaving her right hip to touch her face so gently, he knew he had hurt her many times, but some how he was beginning to more fully grasp the damage he'd done. He wants to beg her to tell him how to repair the damage, but he'd already promised he wouldn't push it.
"That's about the only good thing that came out of being trapped in a basement with Megan." Her smile is tired but still full of her fire. She had gained so much more out of that afternoon stuck in her own basement. She had finally realized that getting over him just wasn't going to happen, but she also promised herself she wouldn't just let him back in. She has to know this time around, when she gives in, if, that it's for keeps. She can't keep playing these games.
"I know we said tomorrow, but…"
"I don't know what's going to happen with us Tommy, but I do know I love you and have always loved you. There's no way I could do anything but keep it. It's a part of you and me. Besides, with your track record it's kind of funny this hasn't happened to you until now, when you were my first." She tilts her head to the side pushing her lithe body from the cool glass to move closer to him. He's her best friend above all else.
"I was hoping you'd say that." He kisses her forehead softly before pulling back and looking at her again, his expression serious. "I'll keep my promise and I won't push the issue, but I really will do whatever you need me to or want me to, to find my way back."
She reaches up curling her hand against his cheek as she leans her forehead into his. "You've always been in my heart Quincy; it's not a question of that. I just can't take you at your word that things will be different this time and now there's more than just you and me to consider."
"I know, and I'll find a way to show you Girl, just don't give up on us okay? I need you to believe in me Jude… Please?" He pulls his head away from hers curling his index finger under her chin and tilting her head up to meet her ocean blue eyes.
"I won't." She closes her eyes for a moment before taking his hand into her free hand, the one not stuck with a line, and leads him back to the bed. She climbs in first arranging herself properly before patting the spot he'd occupied earlier. She sees his skeptical expression and leans towards him grabbing his hand and pulling him towards her. "This is just us Quincy, it doesn't mean anything more than that you're my best friend above all else and we need each other after tonight's events."
Hesitantly still he climbs into the bed wrapping his arms around her once again, covering her with the blanket as it is only big enough for one. He runs his fingers through her short platinum strands and kisses her forehead briefly before whispering, "Good night Girl… I love you." By the time the last three words reached her she was already asleep, but he smiles in spite of himself and allows himself to fall into the depths of sleep once again.
Now to those of you who guessed pregnant, well of course you were right! I just couldn't help drawing it out a bit, and adding in a few other minor issues to the mix. I stole idea of the bladder infection and dehydration from my own pregnancy because I was in and out of the hospital at least 2-3 times a month for that.