Harry's fourth year was anything but quiet with the return of Voldemort and Cedric's death during the final tournament. Harry had been handed the winnings from the Triwizard tournament but felt like it was blood money and handed it to the Twins to invest in their joke shop. Harry had told them it was an investment and a year later it helped them buy their store in Diagon Alley, but despite their success, he hoped they'd never return the investment as guilt filled him every time he thought back to the events that had handed him the winnings.
Harry filled his trunk for his sixth year, dreading what was head his way. Thus far he'd faced Voldemort four times while at Hogwarts, and a portion of him feared a fifth time would come this year. He placed Hedwig on the trunk and sat back on his bed in Ron's room, waiting for the others to join him after packing their own stuff. Ron had run off to grab their brooms from the shed outside, leaving Harry to finish putting his stuff away. Harry laid back on the bed and thought about what this year would hold for him.
A lot was changing, and classes matter more than ever before. How he did this year would impact him in years to come. He wanted to be an Auror, but he wasn't sure if that was an option with Snape teaching potions. He hadn't done terrible in last years class receiving an Exceeding Expectations, but Snape refused to take anyone but the best of the best. Everyone told him that meant he'd need to have scored an 'O' in the subject, but he didn't know if that was true. He planned on talking to McGonagall about it as soon as he arrived at Hogwarts, never caring about something so much in his life.
A soft knock at the door drew Harry from his thoughts. Harry didn't bother to get up and simply called, "Come in."
Ginny entered the room and closed the door behind her. "Packed already?" She asked.
Harry smiled at her presence and nodded in reply. She sensed he wasn't going to continue and asked another question, "What's weighing on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Don't lie to me, Harry James Potter." She said, sitting beside him. Harry shifted on the bed, offering her a silent invitation to join him. Ginny laid down beside him, placing her hand on his chest and laying her head on his shoulder as he slid his arm around her. "I know you way to well for it to work." He looked at her unable to stop the smile spreading across his face. He leaned down and kissed her, a knowing smirk formed on her lips as he pressed them together. She was always right and knew it, but it always made her smile when he admitted it. It thrilled him being able to have that affect on her even after being together for a year and a half.
Another knock came at the door, and Harry called that the door was opened. Hermione came in. "Hey, guys."
"Hey." Ginny chimed back. "Finish packing?"
"I left a few books out for some light reading tonight," raved Hermione as she sat down on Ron's bed. Harry and Ginny exchanged glances with knowing smirks. They both knew light meaning meant at least 500 pages — if not more — for Hermione while a normal person would assume it meant 150 page book. She continued not having seen their exchanged glances, "I take it Ron hasn't been in here for a while."
Ginny rolled her eyes before she admonished, "He needs to get over it. I'm not a baby any more, and it's been over a year now. Time for him to grow up."
Ginny and Harry started dating not long after the Yule Ball and spent the majority of their time together. Ron still struggled to accept it and often grew upset and uncomfortable when Ginny and Harry were together. Harry and Ginny finally grew tired of his tirade whenever they showed affection toward each other and told him off at separate times. Still, Harry tried to remain respectful of Ron and kept the touching at a minimum when he was around.
Harry didn't want to rehash the situation and sought a way to change the topic, but Ginny beat him to it asking, "How are you and Grant doing?" It wasn't exactly what Harry had in mind, but he would take it to avoid talking about Ron.
"Great." Hermione answered enthusiastically, "My parents seemed to like him when we went out to dinner over the summer, and he's been writing me weekly since the holidays started. I can't wait to see him when we get back; he said we would go on a date as soon as we get back to Hogwarts."
"He seems to really make you happy." Harry observed dryly.
"He does." She remarked, staring off at nothing.
Ginny squealed in excitement causing Harry to pull away in shock. "We should double sometime," suggested Ginny, breaking the brief silence which had fallen between them.
Hermione responded, "Ooooo, that's such a great idea, Ginny. We can go to the Three Broomsticks together on the first Hogsmead weekend."
"And of course, window shop after," Ginny continued after Hermione, not missing a beat.
Harry interrupted their happy moment, "Are you guys forgetting something?" When neither responded and simply looked at him confused, "Ron?"
The girls simply waved the thought off as Ginny answered, "He can find someone else to go with. He always complains about hanging out with us anyways."
"He can hardly tolerate you two sitting next to each other;" Hermione pointed out, "Do you really think he's going to be able to sit through an entire date with you and Ginny?"
The door handle jiggled, stopping whatever retort Harry was about to iterate. Ginny was off the bed and across the room beside Hermione, reaffirming her point as Ron walked in the room. Hermione echoed a hello to Ron who stormed in and threw his soaked socks on to the floor by his bed. His clothes were soaked completely through.
"I take it the gnomes won this round." Ginny teased him while attempting to stifle her giggles.
"Bug off." Ron yelled as he grabbed new clothes and stormed off to take a shower.
Ginny crossed the room once more and snuggled against Harry again. Harry sighed, realizing they were right. The moment they told Ron it was a double date he would stay back at the castle or find someone else to go with. Ron was the least of his worries going forward with this date. . .
The months past, and the date kept getting pushed back as classes overwhelmed Harry, Hermione and Grant. The work load increased as the three began to work towards fulfilling the classes that would determine their careers. Yet, despite Harry's hopes, Ginny and Hermione never forgot about the plan, and as holiday break loomed closer, their homework load lessened and Ginny and Hermione began to make plans to go out on the last Hogsmead trip of the semester.
"Come on, Harry." Ginny nagged as Harry slowly packed up his homework. "How is it when we want to play quidditch you're packed up and dressed before I ask, but right now, you act like you rather be finishing homework?"
Ginny impatiently stared at Harry with her arms crossed. Harry finished up packing at the same pace despite her protested, dreading the trip to Hogsmead for the first time since third year. If you had told that Harry he'd be going to hogsmead, he'd be ecstatic — given he hadn't been able to go that year because the Dursley's refused to sign his permission slip after blowing up Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge. However, his 13-year-old self wasn't about to go on a double date with his best friend and her boyfriend of two years now.
Harry finished putting his last book into his bag and headed up the stairs without a word to Ginny. He threw the bag onto his four poster bed before grabbing his cloak and a pair of gloves as he headed back down the stairs, resigning to the fact he had to face the date sooner or later. He met Ginny back in the common room; she made sure to give him no chance to linger anymore as she grabbed his hand and pulled him through the portrait hole.
Hermione and Grant were waiting in the entrance hall when Harry and Ginny reached it. "Where have you guys been?" Hermione asked.
"Someone was taking forever," responded Ginny with a pointed look at Harry.
They hurried and got in line to get checkout by Filch. It took no time before the two couples were on their way.
Harry pulled his coat closer around him as Ginny curled into him as they walked. The brisk air almost made the trip not worth it, but Harry knew that it was too late to back out. The girls would've faced a tornado to prevent another set back. He kissed Ginny's head as it leaned against his shoulder and smiled down at her as they trekked down the road toward the village, bracing himself for a long day.
The day passed quickly as they explored every shop they could in between the spurts of freezing weather. Ginny and Harry had separated from Hermione and Grant briefly to go restock their broomstick cleaning kit and soon were meeting up once again for dinner at the Three Broomsticks.
Harry took Ginny's coat as she volunteered to go with Hermione to find a table. He placed their cloaks on a hook near the door before suggesting to Grant to grab their drinks now. The boys headed up to the bar and ordered four butterbeers before heading to the tables.
"How was the quidditch store?" Granted asked as they looked for the girls.
"Good. I picked up some rags and wax. I swear I go through it like candy." Grant chuckled but Harry pressed on, "I'm shocked you went with Hermione to pick up more ink and quills. You must need more supplies."
"I do, but I had someone pick it up for me while we were out. I know Hermione isn't really into it, and it's no big deal for me to pay someone to do it. The Ravenclaw quidditch team practically makes it a team outing every chance they can anyways."
They saw Hermione and Ginny waving them over to a table in that back corner of the room. "You really like her, don't you?" Harry prodded, realizing Grant's feelings for Hermione were more serious than he ever realized.
"Yeah…" Grant responded a bit aloof, "She's pretty great. She's the first girl I've met to really just know so much about books and life. She never got lost in the collection of knowledge and remembered to live and experience life. I just love listening to her talk especially about her adventures with you and Ron and enjoy how much she challenges me every day. She's really been the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Harry smile faltered for a second, but Grant was too engrossed in his thoughts to notice as they walked up to the table. Joining the girls had — conveniently — prevented Harry from responding to Grant's answer, and it was quickly forgotten as they sat at the table and began discussing the menu. After getting everyone's orders, Grant volunteered to put the order in at the bar and returned shortly with their meal.
They spent the meal laughing and trading horror stories of living in the dorms. The boys quickly admitted their relief to the simplicity of living with only four other guys as the girls spilled the nightly drama currently running amuck in their rooms.
"Oh, you don't know how luck you are. Lavender and Parvati are the worst. They are constantly coming up with new rumors and lies to spread around. They went after Hannah Abbott last week, and now that's Lavender is with Ron, it's only gotten worse. She goes after any girl that talks to him. She told everyone I was only with Grant because I was trying to steal him from her."
"We've been together longer than they've been dating," interjected Grant.
"Yeah," Hermione rolled her eyes as her response gained an edge to it, "I never said they were intelligent insults."
Harry laughed as Ginny chimed in her two cents, "Man, I could've set you up years ago if you had just told me. He's definitely the better choice. I mean look at Grant." She gestured over to him. "He's definitely only a solid three or four."
Ginny winked at Grant as he gave her an appalled look. Hermione chuckled, rubbing her hand over his shoulders before giving him a hug. "I don't know. I kind of like Grant more. I'd give him a five, at least."
"A FIVE! Really, guys!? I think I'm a bit better than a five. Come on, Harry, back me up here. I'm higher than a five, aren't I?" He pleaded.
"Eh, think I'm with Ginny on this one — A two or three at max."
Ginny smirked and gave Harry a peck on the cheek, "Smart man."
Grant held his hands up in shock stumbling around for a retort. Harry continued, "Like I'd let you hang around us if you were any higher. Less competition when my best friend dates a guy less attractive than I am."
"Yeah, you're a one." Hermione and ginny clapped back together.
"Wait, what?!"
"Not so fun when it's about you huh?" Grant stabbed.
"Don't worry. I like you all the same," chimed Ginny as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"Yeah, I think I'll keep you around too." Hermione told Grant before leaning in and kissing him.
Harry forced a smile as he watched Grant and Hermione fall into their own little world away. He leaned his head onto Ginny's. The day was finally wearing on him. He had expected it to be long, but he forgot the emotional turmoil hanging out with Hermione and Grant always took on him.
They made everything seem easy compared to his relationship with Ginny. They fought sometimes, but when they weren't fighting, they always seemed to be on the same page and rarely missed a beat with each other.
Maybe, it was just how Hermione worked. She never missed anything and always articulated what her expectations were, making it easier to be in a relationship with her. She didn't shy away from the truth no matter how harsh it seemed, but she also seemed to know the balance of compassion and caring for someone that made it easy to talk to her. She never seemed to judge you or hold a mistake against you. It was simply that a mistake.
Looking at her now though, Harry felt like he had completely lost her all over again. Yet, this time he knew there was no getting her bad. He saw the love she held for Grant as the two talked quietly to themselves on the other side of the table. He saw the respect and trust she freely gave him and knew the work and years that had taken her to hand over to him.
Harry felt Ginny's hand touch his face and guide him to look up from his plate to her. Her eyes locked with his. He saw the love that burned in them and the passion she always locked away in public, but there was something new in them he couldn't quite place. He ignored it though as he leaned in and gently kissed her, remembering how great he had it with her.
Ginny pulled away and he placed his forehead against hers as a smirk played on his lips. She gave him another quick kiss before returning to her food and asked Hermione about her exams.
Everything seemed to fade away in that moment as Hermione dragged them through each one of her tests, comparing all her answers to Harry and Grant's, and carrying the night away in great food and discussions of school, quidditch and family.
The pub was nearly empty by the time they began to pack up. Grant and Hermione quickly threw on their coats while Ginny headed to the bathroom and Harry pulled theirs on as they all headed out. Grant walked on as Hermione lingered behind to wait for Ginny and say her goodnights.
"Thank you, Harry, for indulging us in this. I know you probably rather have been alone with Ginny today." Hermione smiled and touched Harry's arm in gratitude.
"It's no big deal. Really. I'll be able to spend tons of time with her over break anyways." Harry said. Hie shoved his hands into his pockets as he played with a rock with his foot. He felt awkward as if there was something else he was suppose to say but unsure of what. "Besides, it's not every day we get to double with someone."
Hermione smiled, "Well, thanks anyways." She looked over her shoulder where Grant stood waiting for her to join him. "I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Of course." He echoed.
Hermione placed a kiss on Harry's cheek before running off after Grant. He watched as she slid her arm into his, and Hermione once again walked away with Grant. The snow floated down around him as the couple disappeared into the dusky horizon.
Harry looked out at where they disappeared, feeling cold and hollow inside. He had become accustom to the feelings over the last two years as he watched Hermione walk away hand-in-hand with Grant again and again. He thought eventually the feelings would fade and the hole she left would fill, but despite it all, it never did.
He cared for Ginny, but he knew it wasn't the same. He knew she would eventually want more than he could offer. He always hoped he would be able to learn to love her, but somehow even when he thought he had moved on something would stir the feelings inside of him.
"I always hoped it would fade, you know." A voice broke through the thoughts riddling Harry's head, slicing the silence of the night. Harry turned around and found Ginny standing behind him with her hands shoved as deep into her pocket as she could get. She continued, "I knew you loved her, but I figured you would eventually move on. I thought if we were together you'd figure out a way to love me instead."
Harry didn't know what to say. The truth of her words struck him, and nothing he said could heal the pain behind them. Ginny chuckled, "It's ironic in some ways. I never let you go but keep waiting for you to let her. I guess I just thought my love for you was strong enough to change things."
"Ginny." Harry said, wanting to attempt to explain things and make this easier — whatever this was.
"No, Harry." Her voice cracked. Tears rolled down her face. Harry had never seen Ginny so vulnerable, and a piece of him broke, knowing he was the one that had caused them. "There's nothing you can say to change things. You love her."
He stood across from her as the tears streamed down her face. His eyes stung as he looked at her, and he choked back the emotion welling in his chest. He was losing her. He was losing her and knew he needed to say something before he lost her forever, but the words were lost on his lips as she looked at him begging for him to fight.
His silence was answer enough, and she turned, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Wait." His voice cracking as he called after her.
She stopped, contemplating whether or not she should give him a chance to redeem himself. He took advantage of the moment, not giving her a chance to continue.
"I'm sorry." He quickly searched for the words to say to get her back, but he kept running into the cliches of literature that would surely making him lose her.
She began to walk away, hearing his words as empty and over used. He pressed on forgetting about cliches and saying exactly what he felt.
"I know saying it can't make you believe it, but I do want to love you. I want to be with you and to spend every moment with you. I just —"
"Can't." Ginny finished the sentence for me.
"Need more time." Harry attempted to correct her. "I do care for you, and the feelings are real."
She turned around and found him a foot away from her. He couldn't stop himself as he continued to close the distance between them. "When they're there, they are real." Ginny challenged, "But they aren't always there, and that's the problem. I thought you'd stop loving her eventually, but it's not fading and I'm only falling harder and hard. I want you. I would do anything to be with you, but I can't keep holding on. I can't… just can't keep waiting for you. I'm sorry."
Harry closed the distance between them and kissed her. It wasn't the passionate kiss he had gotten so lost in in the past. The one that was driven by his lust rather than the love that originally drove them together. He could taste the salty tears that slid into the kiss. He wanted to fix his mistake. He'd never meant to hurt her.
She broke it off quickly, leaning her forehead against his. "I'm done." He barely heard it before she turned away and left him there alone. He watched her go and disappear in the same direction that Hermione had disappeared in.
Harry followed after her at a much slower pace, realizing he'd lost everything in one night.
A/N: It's been a while. It was a rough chapter to write and re-write and re-write. I never know what makes it so hard to write this sometimes. I always knew how I wanted it to end but getting it there never quite seemed to fit quite right. Thanks to all of you for committing to comeback and read this regularly. Thanks for the constant favorites despite my long absences between writing these chapters. I hopefully will get the next chapter up much faster, but in the mean time, I hope you all love this one and know it's only downhill from here. ;)
Always,
AmGinny