Here is your latest instalment. This is quite a simple chapter although a lot of anger from Angelo and sweetness from Joey will quickly ensue after this. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for continuing to read my stories. Love to each and every one of you, IJKS xxx
Chapter Ten
Charlie felt more than a little deflated when she woke up beside Angelo in the morning. She'd believed for a moment last night that they might be able to talk things through and find a way forward. They were clearly both aware of the problems they were having but while Charlie had wanted to discuss it, Angelo hadn't. As she climbed out of bed and headed into the shower, she realised with some sadness that she didn't feel like a whole person anymore. She felt like the shadow of the person she had once been and although she hadn't particularly liked that person, she wasn't sure this new Charlie was much improved. So many things had changed in the way she lived, the way she felt, the way she handled things. Joey's words about the old Charlie not putting up with someone pushing her around, echoed in her mind. She was right. She never would have accepted Angelo's behaviour once upon a time. She had always prided herself on being a strong, capable woman. She was ambitious and driven, got herself into regular amounts of trouble because of her inability to reign in her opinions. But now she felt empty. Sighing, Charlie blobbed some shampoo into her hand and began to wash her hair. She closed her eyes on her world. The vision of Joey's beautiful face planted itself in her mind. The presence of her ex-girlfriend was confusing to say the least. She was every bit as wonderful and beautiful as Charlie remembered, if not more so. Every time she'd seen her over the past couple of days, Charlie felt her heart break that little bit more. She was devastated over what she had lost, the mistakes she had made and the way things had turned out. She'd thought about Joey at least once every day since she'd left and having her back sent Charlie's mind into a spin. Her need to protect her, overwhelmed her. But she knew the closer she got to her ex-girlfriend, the worse things would get between her and her current boyfriend. She knew with absolute clarity that she was still in love with Joey and she believed she always would be. But she didn't have the strength or the energy to change her life.
In the kitchen, Angelo busied himself with making breakfast for him and for Charlie. He knew his girlfriend was unhappy and he knew it was largely his fault. He could feel himself losing control more and more and the fact that Joey was around was only making things worse. He could see in Charlie's eyes that old feelings were resurfacing. He could read her desire to spend time with her ex and it made him deeply uncomfortable and afraid of losing her. Last night, Charlie had wanted to talk but Angelo hadn't allowed her to. He was terrified that she would tell him she'd reached the decision to leave him. And he was damned if he was prepared to let her go. He had fallen for Charlie almost on sight, way back when he had believed himself to be a good man. Their time together had been cut short when he had been sent to prison but he had worked hard upon his release, to win her back. They'd been to hell and back over the last year and a half but finally, he had what he wanted. Charlie was committed, able to say she loved him and was even living with him. He had her right where he wanted and needed her to be. But he was terrified that she wouldn't stay.
In the safe house, Joey felt frustrated at not being allowed out of the property. She craved the freedom and liberation of the outside world and had never done well with being cooped up inside, not even when she was a child. She wanted to see people, walk along the beach, breathe in the ocean. She wanted to see Charlie. But her ex-girlfriend was as off limits to her as she had always been. When they were together, Charlie had struggled, at least at the beginning, not to hold her at arm's length. Then they had existed thousands of miles apart, not engaging in each other's lives. Joey had felt so much for Charlie but now she was as confused as ever. She'd been in love, she'd been angry, she'd been bitter and betrayed. Now she was just sad. She'd finally begun, recently, to allow herself to grieve for what she had lost. Charlie had stolen her heart and trampled on it and not a day went by when Joey didn't feel cheated. She was still in love with her and she knew first hand just what an amazing person Charlie was. The woman who had cheated on her, hadn't been the real Charlie. She hadn't been the person who had saved her life, sought her out, taken care of her, loved her. But the two people had been tangled up until it was an inconceivable mess. That was why Joey had run away. She hadn't been able to breathe around her and had no concept of how she could love someone so much and yet feel so hurt and betrayed by them. All this time, she had been trying to create space between them and move on. She'd convinced herself that there was no point thinking about her anymore because Charlie would have so easily have forgotten her. She'd pictured her as being confidant and happy, probably in receipt of a promotion at work, totally in control of her life and having blocked Joey out completely. And yes, it looked, at least on the surface that she had moved on. She had a long term boyfriend and she lived with him. But Joey had seen a sadness in her eyes that she'd never witnessed before, not even during their worst times. It was like she had completely given up, like something had died inside her. As she made her breakfast, aimlessly stirring her cup of tea, Joey wondered and worried about where her Charlie had gone.