Kate awoke the next morning, confused at first, but then slowly remembering the events of the night before. She could feel his comforting arms wrapped around her and could hear him breathing, long peaceful deep breaths that indicated he was sleeping as well at the moment as she'd ever known him to sleep in the time she'd known him. Other than the time she'd drugged him, his sleep was typically broken and fitful as if his brain would never completely shutdown and allow himself to become unaware, always ready to open his eyes and be alert, ready for whatever crisis came next.
But this morning he was relaxed, a relaxed she'd never seen and she wasn't going to disturb him. She slowly eased herself out of his clutches and watched him stir before turning onto his stomach and continuing to sleep. She pulled the covers over him and walked over to where he'd tossed his jeans the night before. She reached in for his wallet and removed one of the key cards, but not before taking a moment to peek at his driver's license. She rolled her eyes and tossed the jeans back onto the floor.
"He even managed to take a perfect driver's license picture. Figures." Kate mumbled to herself.
She slipped on her strewn clothes and headed to the door in search of coffee and a newspaper. She opened the door to the suite and a newspaper was lying in front of the door. She glanced down and felt the familiar panic, the dread, the need to bolt. On the front page of the paper was her mug shot, the same one the marshal had shown Jack their first days on the island. Beside her picture was Jack's picture, she guessed the photo from his passport. She picked the paper up and closed the door, walking over to the couch and sitting down to read, even though she knew what it was going to say.
She was a fugitive and possibly dangerous. She was last seen on the Coast Guard Cutter. The crew was shown her mug shot a few hours after they had docked. The Commander recognized her as the woman who had introduced herself as Cassie and claimed to have been ship wrecked. They had scoured the hotel where the rest of the survivors had been taken, but there was no sign of her and one of the other survivors was missing as well, described by the other survivors as the man who had taken care of all them during their time on the island. The survivors claimed they did not know anyone named Kate Austen and that the man who had taken care of them, Jack Shephard, just wanted to disappear and not have to answer a bunch of questions. Both Kate Austen and Jack Shephard were wanted by the authorities.
The last line jumped out at her. She looked over to the bed where Jack was still sleeping. She'd managed to drag another man down with her. He didn't deserve this.
"You aren't going to get hurt because of me Jack." She mumbled and left the room.
Kate returned to the room about 15 minutes later. She picked up Jack's clothes and put them on the foot of the bed. She crawled onto the bed and shook him until his eyes opened. He smiled at her, turned his head in the other direction and tried to go back to sleep.
"Jack, I'm sorry, but you need to get up." She told him, brushing her hand lightly over his cheek getting no response from him.
She got closer, moving her mouth to his ear.
"You have to wake up now Jack. There's not much time. You need to get dressed before they get here." She told him.
He lay still, eyes closed, awake but not moving, listening to her attempts to wake him. Her last sentence got all of his attention and he rolled over onto his back.
"Before who gets here?" He asked.
"Listen to me Jack, you have to get dressed and you have to listen to me carefully. Are you awake?" She asked.
"Kate, what's going on?" Jack asked fully awake and sitting up.
"They know Jack. They know I lied to the coast guard about my name. They know I'm with you. I won't let you get hurt." Kate told him her voice cracking, tears forming.
"Kate, what are you talking about? Who knows?" Jack asked pulling on his jeans and reaching for his shirt.
"The Federal Marshals Jack. They know. They are here. You have to listen to me. You knew I would run so you brought me here to convince me to turn myself in. Okay? You weren't trying to help me run." Kate pleaded with him, tears streaming down her face.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, moving his hands over her back, his mind reeling, trying to process the craziness and understand what she was telling him and it finally dawned on him, she had called and turned herself in.
"Kate, what did you do?" He asked not wanting to hear the truth.
"I had to Jack. I couldn't let you get hurt because of me and I promised you I would stop running. They're coming to get me and I told them you weren't helping me run, you were trying to keep me from running." She explained.
"Kate, why didn't you talk to me first?" He asked his own tears forming.
"It's the right thing to do Jack, I won't let you ruin your life for me. I love you and I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt because of me. Promise me you will tell them you convinced me to turn myself in." Kate begged.
"Kate, I………" Jack stuttered tears streaming down his face.
"Damn it Jack! Promise me!" She screamed.
"Okay, I promise." He cried and held onto her trying to collect himself, to think rationally and to figure out what to do next. He finally pulled away, holding her by the arms, looking right at her.
"Kate, look at me." He ordered.
She looked up him and his heart shattered into a million pieces. Her once sparkling eyes were cloudy and red, her beautiful face tear-streaked and frightened, all traces of the once vibrant woman gone.
"I'm not giving up on you. Do you hear me? Don't you dare give up and don't say anything to them. I'm going to find the best attorney available and we're going to fight this." Jack told her.
"Jack please, just try to move on. I'm not worth….." She started to object, silenced by him kissing her.
"Don't ever say that again. Kate, promise me you won't say anything or admit to anything until the attorney I hire talks to you. Please, the Kate I know wouldn't just give up." He tried to convince her, his eyes bearing down on her, the pain and the fear that was in them just a moment ago replaced by determination.
"I promise." She said.
"I'm going to take care of everything Kate and when this is all over you're never going to have to run or look over your shoulder again." He told her and pulled her into his chest again, feeling her wrap her arms around his lower torso, hanging on for dear life.
"I guess I was more than just a blip on their radar huh?" She said softly.
"I guess I was naïve to believe otherwise. I'm sorry Kate." He said.
"Don't be sorry Jack. Last night was wonderful and I'll have the last few weeks we've been together to hold onto, keep me from feeling lonely or feeling sorry for myself." She told him.
"You'll have me Kate. Wherever they take you, I'll be there as much as I can." He promised.
"Jack, don't………" She started to argue, but was interrupted by the loud knock on the door.
They walked to the door together and opened it. Both were immediately descended upon and taken down to the floor, hands pulled behind their backs and handcuffed.
"Don't, he didn't do anything." Kate protested.
"You let us decide what he's guilty or not guilty of sweetheart." The marshal told her and pulled her to her feet.
They were led out of the hotel, put into the back seat of two separate cars and driven to a police station where they were put into separate rooms and asked questions. Jack had done as Kate requested and told them he was keeping her from running and convincing her to turn herself in. He supposed it wasn't a complete lie and knew he was of better use to her out of jail and fighting for her, realizing he was probably the first person that ever had. The idea of that made him sad and then it made him angry and determined to do everything he could to help her get out of this mess with as little jail time as possible. He sat in an interrogation room waiting to find out if he was going to be charged or sent on his way. The door opened and one of the marshals that had brought them in entered the room.
"Well, Dr. Shephard it looks like your girlfriend is going to confirm your story. Tell me something, what does a successful, law abiding citizen like yourself see in her?" The marshal asked.
Jack didn't respond.
"I mean she's a babe no doubt about that, but is that piece of ass really worth your medical career?" The marshal taunted.
"Are we done? Are you going to arrest me? Do I need to get a lawyer?" Jack asked refusing to take the bait knowing that throwing a punch at a Federal marshal would serve no useful purpose.
"The others, they had nothing but praise when they talked about you, how you took care of all of them, fought for them and kept a hysterical situation calm. Is that what it is with Kate? Still taking care of her? She's using you, don't you know that? She's never done anything for anyone that didn't benefit her some how, she's selfish and she'll drag you down with her. How can a smart man like yourself not see that?" The marshal asked trying to get under Jack's skin, push him over the edge, make him admit to what he and Kate really had planned.
"Maybe I do see it, but just didn't want to see her get hurt, gunned down by some over zealous cowboy with a badge." Jack responded sarcastically.
"You fuck all the people you don't want to see get hurt before you turn them in?" The marshal asked seeing the rage in Jack's eyes briefly before Jack shifted his gaze down to the table.
Jack saw the look in the marshal's eyes and recognized the game all too well. After all he had been raised by the master manipulator and had learned to recognize when his mind was being fucked with. So, he absorbed the man's last comment, let it bounce right off and looked back up, relaxed and in control.
"I wouldn't know." Jack answered calmly taking the marshal by surprise. He bent down until he was in Jack's face.
"You wouldn't know? Please, you were pounding that so hard she probably had trouble walking this morning. I bet she's really good huh, a real wildcat between the sheets?" He continued to taunt.
Jack didn't respond and offered nothing more than a bored look for the marshal.
"Answer me damn it! She's got you by the balls doesn't she?" The marshal demanded.
Jack continued to look at the man, refusing to respond to his questions.
"So are you going to arrest me or what?" Jack asked.
"No, you're free to go, but let my give you some advice Dr. Shephard. Go home and forget about her. She's bad news." The marshal insisted.
"I only know the Kate that helped everyone survive on the island and she's not the least bit scary. Can I see her before I go? Tell her goodbye." Jack requested.
"No you can't. She's in federal custody now and we'll be transporting her back to the mainland soon." The marshal said.
"Where are taking her if you don't mind my asking?" Jack asked.
"Why? You going to follow her there? Try to help her escape? End up dead with a bullet in your chest like the last doctor friend of hers that tried to help her." The marshal grumbled.
"She told me about that. It was unfortunate. So are you taking her back to Iowa? Has she even been arraigned yet?" Jack asked.
"Yes, that's where she's going and no, she's never been arraigned. We've never been able to catch her long enough to get her into a court room." The marshal complained catching a hint of a smile on Jack's face.
"You think this is funny Dr. Shephard?" The marshal asked.
"No, no. I'm sorry, I was just remembering how she was on the island, restless, could never sit still, always in the middle of whatever was going on, trying to help even when she was asked not to follow. Like I said, it's the only Kate I know." Jack explained.
"Aw, well ain't that sweet. Like I said, go home. Forget about her. You're free to go and a smart man would go straight to the airport and go home, keep his nose clean." The marshal warned.
"I'll take that under advisement." Jack said and stood to leave the room.
"Could you please give her a message for me?" Jack asked.
"Sure, what, you want me to tell her you love her?" The marshal sighed.
"No, tell her to hang on and remember how to count to five, help is on the way." Jack told him.
"What the hell does that mean?" The marshal asked.
"She'll know what it means and don't look so worried, it's not secret code for her next escape, she's done running." Jack told him and left the room.
The marshal walked out into the hallway and watched the confident doctor walk away wondering what it was about Kate Austen that seemed to turn intelligent men into babbling idiots. He walked down the hall to the room where Kate was being kept and entered, closing the door behind him hard, making her jump.
"Well your boyfriend is gone Kate. Happy?" The marshal asked.
"Yes. He didn't do anything." Kate answered quietly.
"Oh, he had a message for you. He said you should hang on and remember to count to five. He said help is on the way." The marshal told her his words dripping with sarcasm.
Kate smiled, remembering the first time he'd told her about counting to five.
"Yeah Kate, you've got him snowed and he thinks he's going to save you, but you and me, we know better don't we? It's over. You're finally going to jail." He taunted her, his face just inches from her.
"It's okay. I'm ready to go to jail. I'm done running." She said confidently.
Jack exited the police station to find reporters outside waiting to pounce on him. He was immediately annoyed, but then realized he could use them to his advantage and calmly answered all of their questions, assuring them that it was a big misunderstanding, that Kate wasn't dangerous or a criminal and that he'd taken off with her to convince her to turn herself in so she could finally clear her name. He followed that with tales from the island, answering questions about how the others had spoken about him and letting them know the role Kate played in not only keeping the others fed and safe, but in keeping him from losing his sanity.
He hated that his face would be plastered all over the news, that he would most likely be sentencing the rest of the survivors to an endless line of reporters wanting to know about the island adventures and especially about Kate Austen, the alleged dangerous criminal. He hated doing it, but if it got the word out and turned Kate into a plane crash survival heroine being unjustly accused it gave Kate a chance and that was his only focus at the moment.
He finally made it into the back of a taxi that would take him to the airport. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, thinking about what he'd just done and then chuckled as he imagined the look on his mother's face when she tuned into the national news and discovered her son had been harboring a fugitive.
He decided he'd call her after he got his flight booked and try to explain, even though he knew she'd never understand because she wouldn't want to. Her mind was closed to the subject of him being with any other woman, but the mother of his two year old daughter. She'd tried to convince him of that last night, but he'd cut her off. He would continue to cut her off where that subject was concerned. He and Sarah were over and had been since the night she admitted her infidelity to him. He could've forgiven her if he'd been given the chance and that was what hurt him more than anything, the fact that she didn't love him enough to try, to choose him over the guy she was screwing around with. There is no real love left after something like that, intellectually he knew that, it just took his heart awhile to catch up. He guessed his inability to perform the night before he left for Sydney was his heart finally catching up, realizing that the woman he had once cared so much about, that could excite him and make him want to spend countless hours making love to, was finally repulsive to him.
He hoped that for the sake of the innocent child caught in the middle of their mess they could find a way to get along. He would have the appropriate tests run when he got home, but he knew the child was his. He knew the night he saw the picture and saw his own eyes looking back at him. He could still recall every detail of that picture vividly. It was one of the things that had kept him going on the island, fighting to survive so that he might have the chance to know her and love her and be the kind of parent he wished he'd known while growing up. Being allowed to know his daughter without it turning into a battle of wills with her mother and grandmother was going to be a neat trick if he could pull it off.
"Jesus Jack, why do you always let your plate get so full?" He mumbled to himself.
He arrived at the airport about an hour after he'd left the police station. He booked a flight for Los Angeles that wouldn't leave until the next day so he found a hotel close by and checked in for the night. He decided he would call his mom and get it over with. He sighed heavily and punched the numbers in.
"Hey mom." Jack said.
"Jack, where are you? Are you out of your mind son? Have you seen the news, the newspapers?" She scolded him.
"I don't want to talk about it right now. My flight lands at LAX at 3:30 PM tomorrow. If you want to meet me fine, if not I'll take a cab and come by and see you after I pick my car up. Is my car and my condo and my life still intact?" Jack asked keeping his voice flat and calm.
"Your life wasn't intact when you left, but yes all of your assets are still yours. Jack, I want you to tell me what is going on between you and this fugitive." She demanded.
"No, we aren't going to talk about it right now." Jack refused.
"Is this woman someone you care about? Is that why you tried to hide her?" She asked.
"Yes, I care very much about her." Jack answered sighing heavily.
"Are you sleeping with a criminal Jack?" She asked.
"When did my sex life become your business mom?" Jack asked his tone now agitated.
"You were raised better than that son. How could you take up with a common criminal, a white trash tramp from the Midwest." She spewed hatefully.
"How can you say that? You don't even know her!" Jack snapped.
"No, but I know you. You're soft, easy to manipulate and always ready to befriend any stray that crawls out of the gutter. I suppose you're going to tell me you're in love with her next." She badgered.
"Fine, yes mom, I'm in love with her. Your son the doctor is carrying on with a fugitive, good god what will they be saying at the country club." He shot back sarcastically.
"They'll probably say the same things they used to say about your father when he couldn't keep from straying." She accused.
"Don't. Don't compare me to him. I never cheated on my wife." Jack said hatefully, wishing he could take it back as soon as he said it.
"I'm sorry, that was out of line. I don't want to do this mom. I'm coming home tomorrow. I thought I'd let you know. I'm hanging up now." Jack said softly, defeated, tired of battling with her, noticing that she didn't seem to be able to stand him, her words toward him more angry and spiteful than he remembered. Of course she hated him. She blamed him for his father's death.
Jack put the phone down, too emotionally drained to care how his mother did or didn't feel about him. He thought about Kate and how alone and frightened she must be. He would call his attorney as soon as got home and find the best available to look into her case and make arrangements to fly to Iowa to see her as soon as possible. Ex-wives, children, his work and his mother would have to wait. Kate was the priority right now. He was antsy, couldn't stand sitting still doing nothing while Kate was locked in a cell, her future in his hands. He picked up the phone again and punched some numbers in.
"Mike? How's it going? It's Jack Shephard."
"Jack, I can't believe what I've been seeing on the news and reading in the paper, but I'm glad to hear your voice. We thought we'd lost one of the really good guys for sure." Mike said.
"Yeah it's pretty crazy huh? Listen, I'll be home tomorrow, we can go grab a beer and I'll tell you all about it, but right now I need a favor. I need Walter Zito's number."
"One of the survivors filing a malpractice suit against you?" Mike joked.
(Laughs) "No, no island malpractice. I need some advice." Jack told him.
"It wouldn't have anything to do with that pretty woman you've been pictured all over the place with would it?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, it's about her and I'll tell you all about it over the beer, but I really need Walter's number right now." Jack said.
Mike gave Jack the number and they exchanged a few friendly comments before saying their goodbyes. Jack immediately called Walter Zito, the attorney who represented the hospital he worked for. He explained the situation to Walter and asked him if he could recommend a good criminal attorney. Walter generously offered to make some phone calls and have someone check into Kate's situation.
Jack felt better. The wheels were turning and they'd be ready to help Kate before she had a chance to feel like he'd forgotten about her. He worried she might fall into that frame of mind and he couldn't blame her if she did. The people in her life that were supposed to love her had abused her trust about as badly as you can abuse a person's trust. He wasn't sure how he had managed to gain her trust, but was reasonably sure that if he let her sit for too long she'd start to question his sincerity.
He ordered room service and spent the evening locked in his room, not wanting to deal with the stares and the questions. He was miserable, dying inside, but had managed to keep himself busy enough most of the day so he wouldn't be able to think about her, miss her, ache for her. He was idle now though and he couldn't turn it off. She was in his thoughts and he could still smell her on him. He pushed his untouched food aside and lay on the bed, hugging the extra pillow to his chest, hurting like he could never remember hurting. Not even when Sarah had dropped the mother of all bombs on him had he hurt this bad. He wasn't sure how long he lay there, broken and sobbing like a fool before his brain finally allowed him to sleep. He only remembered dreaming about her and waking up alone and angry, his head pounding, not wanting to leave the bed of depression he was currently laying in.
The ringing telephone snapped him out of the private pity party he was throwing for himself. It was Walter and he'd found a guy who had been involved in many cases like Kate's and had success with most of them. Jack was to meet with him at 6PM in his office the next day. Jack wrote down the information and hung up the phone, reenergized and refocused on helping Kate.
He grabbed his wallet, checked out of the hotel and took a cab to the airport. His plane actually boarded on time and there were lots of looks, finger pointing and whispering. He noticed that two people had actually requested another flight, too superstitious to be on the same plane with him. He was amused by that. What were the odds that a person would be in two plane crashes in one lifetime? Surely flying on the same plane as Jack Shephard was a guarantee that you'd arrive at your destination safely.
He'd managed to doze off, awakened by the jarring of the plane when the wheels touched down. He was home. He had imagined this moment for over five months, but he never imagined he'd be this miserable and lonely. He sat and watched everyone leave the plane, waiting to be the last person off, hoping he wouldn't be recognized. He sighed heavily, unhooked his seatbelt and began walking down the aisle of the plane. He neared the exit and could see the crew in their usual spots spewing their rehearsed courtesies to the passengers as they walked by. As he approached the exit the pilot held his hand out to him.
"Good luck to you sir, I'm happy to have been the one that got you home safely." The pilot said.
"Thanks." Jack said softly and shook his hand.
Jack finally made his way through the gate opening into the terminal. The first thing he saw was Sarah, coming toward him, tears streaming down her cheeks, holding a sleeping child in her arms. He wasn't sure who he was expecting to meet when he walked off the plane, but was sure that this scenario never crossed his mind. He walked up to her, dressed in his dirty worn out island attire.
"Sarah, what the hell are you doing here?" He asked.
"I'm happy to see you too Jack. God, we all thought you were dead. Is that the best you have to offer?" Sarah asked.
"I'm sorry. I've had a really bad couple of days not to mention the last five months." He said and hugged her briefly and kissed her on the cheek.
"I like the clothes." She teased.
"Yeah, I know. I haven't had time to worry about my clothes. Sarah, why are you here and why are you crying?" He asked.
"I told your mother I would meet you. I have something…….I mean I need to. I don't know how to say this. Can you take her a minute? I have something for you." She stammered and pushed the sleeping child into his arms.
He settled the little girl, making sure she was comfortable, letting her head rest on his upper chest, watching Sarah suspiciously. She was acting very strange, either that or he'd just been away too long and the normal her seemed strange to him. Either way it didn't feel right.
"What's going on Sarah?" He asked.
"I need you to take her Jack." Sarah said as her eyes filled with tears again.
"What? No. Sarah here, take her right now." Jack ordered and tried to pass the child back to her.
Sarah backed away, refusing to take the child back from him. She pulled an envelope out of her purse and shoved it into the side of the small backpack that was holding the child's immediate belongings.
"I can't do it Jack. I have to leave. I messed up everything. She'll be okay with you, better off probably." Sarah cried.
"Sarah no, I can't do this right now. Besides, you don't even know if she's my daughter." He seethed through angry clenched teeth, trying to let her know how pissed off he was without screaming and waking the child.
"She's yours Jack, god, just look at her. If that isn't enough to convince you the results of the paternity test are in that envelope along with her birth certificate and medical records. She is your daughter Jack in many ways. She's so smart and gentle and caring. I see so much of you in her and I know I really blew it Jack. I don't deserve her and she deserves better than me." Sarah insisted as the tears continued to flow.
"Stop it. I'm not buying it Sarah. Why are you really doing this? All you ever wanted was a baby. Now that you've got one you're just going to toss her away like you did our marriage?" He asked, so crazed with anger he wanted to back hand her.
"I can't Jack. I'm leaving. My flight leaves soon. Your car is in the parking garage. Her car seat is in it and a few of her toys. Take her with you Jack, make a home for her. I'm sorry. I know this is a bad time, but I have to go." Sarah cried.
"A bad time? Are you fucking serious? What am I supposed to tell her when she starts asking for her mother? I don't even know her name Sarah and you just expect me to flip a switch and be her father?" Jack continued to fight with her.
"Her name is Riley. Riley Dawn Shephard." Sarah told him, her face covered with tears.
"You gave her my last name while you were still with him?" Jack asked.
"We weren't married and he didn't want a baby. I knew she was your daughter Jack. I lied to you that morning. The pregnancy test wasn't negative. I have to get away Jack. I just can't be her mother." Sarah cried.
"You leave Sarah and you don't come back. Do you understand?" Jack told her.
"I knew you'd feel that way. Just please don't ever tell her that I didn't love her because that's not true. I'm doing this because I love her." Sarah explained.
"Shut up. You don't love anyone or anything but yourself and as far as this little girl is concerned her mother is dead. It's better to let her believe that instead allowing her to know the truth." Jack shot back the disgust and anger he felt toward her hanging heavy in his words.
She looked at him and it saddened her to see the way he was looking at her. She never imagined she'd be able to make Jack see her with nothing but contempt in his heart.
"I'm sorry Jack. You'll always hold a special place in my heart. Hopefully you'll be able to forgive me some day." Sarah told him and brushed the side of his face gently with her hand causing him to violently push her hand away.
"Go to hell!" He fumed.
The words and the hatred they were delivered with stung, but what did she expect? That he'd be thrilled to have a child dumped in his lap before he'd even had a chance to catch his breath. She leaned in to kiss her daughter on the cheek and he pulled her back, not allowing her to get near her.
"Just go." He ordered.
She turned and walked away from them. He stood in the airport terminal in the clothes he'd had on for days, unshaven, emotionally spent and suddenly responsible for another human being. He looked down at the sleeping child, so innocent and trusting and it made him sad to think that whatever world she was used to, that she woke up in this morning, would suddenly be gone when she woke up from her nap, just ripped away from her. She'd be so confused and probably scared. What was he going to do with her? He didn't know how to take care of a two year old.
While he watched her, deep in thought, wondering what to do next she began to squirm in his arms. She lifted her head for a moment and looked at him through sleepy eyes. He shifted her in his arms so her head could rest on his shoulder. He felt her wrap her arms around his neck, holding tightly and then nuzzle in closer to his neck, letting her head rest on his shoulder and then finally closing her eyes again. He sighed and kissed the top of her head gently.
"Well Riley, I'm not sure what we're going to do or how you're going to like hanging out with me, but I guess we'll figure this out one day at a time." He said softly and began walking out of the terminal.