Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Must be one of the first drabbles in a long time. This is my theory on the pregnant red-eyed Kurenai.

Helpful Smoking Idiot

When the day had begun for Asuma, he had thought that he'd go check out the local stores to see if he could get anymore food for his home, seeing as he had all but cleared out his own stocks. Seriously, he had wondered; how in the world did he manage to scarf down so many supplies in such a short period of time. He had reasoned, of course, that it was probably because he had Gai and Genma over so often. Those two could scarf down a week's supply of hard tack with no sweat. He sighed, taking out a cigarette, and not looking, bumped into someone.

Yuuhi Kurenai.

Now, whenever Kurenai and Asuma met, the circumstances were as such; they were best friends; known each other since childhood, and had never even touched one another in a more intimate way than giving each other high-fives.

That didn't stop everyone else taking bets on when they'd get together. Nope; no sir-ree.

To put an emphasis on best friend, Asuma had even dated Kurenai's sister.

The plan didn't work, and he was accused of being a cradle-snatcher (Her sister had been eighteen), a cheater and a smoke-addicted fleabrain. Okay, so maybe the last one was a nickname he had earned through the years… but still…

Kurenai, in Asuma's eyes, had always been the calm and conserved woman that he had always known her to be. He had her awkward moments, for instance, accidentally kissing a young Kotetsu, and when she answered a Jounin Captain's question with the simple phrase "Peanuts". Her peers never looked at her the same way again.

Kurenai had always been an Ice Queen; it was one of her perks. It's what made her attractive, and the Jounin males knew it, and of course, despised the dear Jounins Gai, Kakashi and Asuma for being so close to her.

And now, at this very moment, his dear friend was red in the face…

And was it just his imagination, or was that Uzumaki Naruto following behind very hurriedly?

'Good-' he was silenced, however, when Kurenai motioned for him to listen.

'I need your help.' She said hurriedly, and Uzumaki Naruto, quietly stopped right behind Kurenai.

Was there a conspiracy going on here?

And just like that, he was whisked away to the confines of Kurenai's apartment, bound and gagged by Naruto.

It was an uncomfortable journey.

And what was about to be told, much more uncomfortable.

But hey, you only live once, right?

Indeed.

At the apartment, one hour later, Asuma was left gaping, disbelievingly and out of focus, at Yuuhi Kurenai and Uzumaki Naruto, who were both seating opposite him. Regaining his compsure, he looked to his best friend's pleading eyes.

And what pretty eyes they were.

'So let me get this straight…' he recollected what he had just been told, and sent a small glare to the teenager that sat beside Kurenai, crossing his arms and looking anywhere but at the raven-haired woman, 'You're pregnant,'

A nod.

'With his kid.' He gestured to Naruto, who turned red even more.

Another nod.

'After doing it a month ago,'

Another nod.

'Not using any form of protection,'

Another nod.

'Without even knowing it was with each other until a week ago…'

Another nod.

'Because you two downed twenty bottles of sake between each other…'

Another nod.

'And you won't get an abortion because youwant this kid,' Kurenai nodded, and Naruto turned red some more, 'And you don't believe in abortions.' He indicated Naruto.

Another nod.

'And now you want me to pose as the Dad because you're afraid Akatsuki's gonna be after the kid.'

A final nod.

'…'

'…'

'…so?' Naruto asked.

Asuma sighed, before answering his friend and turning to the young blonde.

'I'll do it.'

'Thanks, Chain-Smoker.'

Naruto got a lump on the head for that.

When Asuma bit the dust, and when all the tears were dried, Uzumaki Naruto walked up to the grave, and in true Shika-smoker style, lit an end, patted the grave and gave his personal respects to the man.

'Thanks… Chain-Smoker.'

The effect, however, was dulled when he coughed repeatedly afterwards.

Up in the sky, Asuma grinned; No probs, Naruto, no probs at all…