Prior chapters of this long overdue fic can be found at http/ It goes without saying that I don't own a single character in this story. Of course, I can point out one or two I wish I did... Purely for professional reasons, mind you. Certainly nothing involving skin-tight clothing or chocolate sauce. Certainly not. What, don't you believe me? Bah. Perverts, all of you.

Real Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and whoever she may have sold the rights to. Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and whoever she may have sold the rights to. This is a work of unathorized fan fiction and should only be taken as such.
No profit has been made off this piece of writing, nor has any been intended to be made.

"All the Small Things - Chapter 9: The Saga...Drags On?" Yet Another Ranma/Sailor Moon Crossover By: Slacker

Dark. Why is it dark? Shouldn't be dark. Oh, yes. Eyes are closed. Open them? Naw, why bother. Wonder where I am? What was I doing... Oh, yes. Fighting. Need to ask. Need to make sure.

"Did I win?"

Who said that? Oh, wait. I did. Can hear someone. Why isn't she answering? How did I know she was a she? What the hell is going on? Why am I so tired? Should sleep...No! Need answer!

"Did I kill it?"

Waiting. Taking too long. Gotta open my eyes-Wait. Feel something. What. A hand. My forehead. Whose? Perfume. Setsuna's.
Why isn't she answering?

"You won. They're dead. The Princess is safe."

"Good."

I won. She's safe. So tired...

Setsuna watched over Nemesis' form and made certain he had fallen back asleep before rising out of her chair and walking silently to the door. She opened it slowly and slipped out, pausing to take a final look at him before closing the door.

Setsuna walked calmly down the hallway and entered the bathroom,
slipping out of her clothes as she went. She gathered her clothes in one hand and simply dropped them in the trashcan as she went past it. She turned the shower on and stepped in, not even waiting for the water to warm. Her hand grabbed for the soap and a sponge, building up a quick lather and scrubbing her skin rapidly. She tilted her head back under the showerhead and sighed softly in pleasure as she applied shampoo with the ease born of long practice. Dipping her head forward,
she wiggled her shoulders, letting the spray pound her shoulder and the back of her neck for a few seconds before swishing her hair back under the water and rinsing the shampoo from it. She slapped the water off and slowly opened her eyes, watching the swirls of crimson-tinted water drip down the drain.

With a shake of her head, Setsuna stepped out of the shower,
grabbing a terrycloth robe off the hooks beside the shower doors and slipping into it. She flipped her hair over shoulder with a snap of her head and combed it into place with her fingers as she opened the door and stepped out, pausing briefly to contemplate the sodden, crimson mess in the trashcan that was once her clothes.

"Going to have to talk to him about making less of a mess when he saves our lives." Setsuna drawled wryly and walked away from the bathroom, heading down the hallway and descending the stairs on silent feet.

At the bottom of the stairs, she paused and cast a measuring gaze over the tableau in front of her. All the senshi were present,
scattered around the room in various ways. One couch was taken up by Ami and Makoto, the latter laying face-down across the lap of the former. Makoto, for her part, was grumbling softly at this arrangement,
mostly about how she was fine and didn't even feel anything so why shouldn't she be allowed to sit up on her own and this was really stupid, you know.

Well, normally she'd be complaining about that. Of course, this wasn't exactly normal. Instead of grumbling, Makoto was completely silent, along with the rest of the occupants of the room. All their attention was riveted on the television, where a news program was playing. On the screen, the pretty young reporter was standing in front of what might have once been a park.

"...and as you can see, this entire area has been more or less utterly destroyed. While the authorities still have no comment,
sources inform me that this sleepy little park was nowhere near any gas mains, power lines, or any other readily available source of explainable accident. Some eyewitnesses are claiming to have seen what they swear to be 'magical girls' fighting something in this park. All I know is, a once-beloved park is now in ruins, with no easy answers.
This is Nanami Jinnai, for Channel Eight news. Back to you, Masamichi."

Back in the studio, the anchorman chuckled softly and shook his head as he jokingly addressed the anchorwoman beside him. "Magical girls. Amazing what stress can do to a person's mind, isn't it?"

Whatever the woman's reply would have been was cut off as Setsuna strode forward and snapped the television off with a flick of her fingers. Her voice was soft as she surveyed the closed faces of the girls in front of her. "Yes. It is amazing what stress can do."

Silence reigned supreme for a few moments before Usagi spoke from the chair she was sitting in, her voice as soft as Setsuna's, but strangely without the usual hesitation at speaking to the enigimatic Senshi of Time. "That was the Neko-ken." It was not a question,
but a soft statement of a fact obvious to all. Her eyes were shadowed,
contemplating her lap and the hands she had laced there.

Setsuna nodded. "It was. Enhanced by Nemesis' magic."

Usagi pursed her lips slightly and lifted her eyes slowly to Setsuna's. "Nemesis is Ranko. You've known all along."

"Yes, I've known who Nemesis was for about a decade now." Her voice was matter-of-fact as she spoke.

Usagi smiled tightly and slowly stood, somehow managing to loom over Setsuna despite the height difference. Her voice remained soft as she asked. "And you never felt the urge to tell Us?"

Setsuna lifted her head and steadily replied. "It would not have been in either of your best intrests. Nemesis has only barely remembered the past."

"That's not an excuse, Setsuna." Usagi whispered in a voice full of sympathetic pain.

"I was not making excuses, Serenity. I was offering a reason"
Setsuna gently countered.

"If you knew who she was, you should have watched over her. Helped her. I've talked to her, you know. I've heard some of the stories about her early years. The 'training'. The 'exercises.
The hell she went through at a time she should have been playing with other children. What reason could there be to allow that?" Usagi asked, in a voice that requested, even begged for, an answer, an explanation for suffering that could have been prevented.

Setsuna's eyes grew dark as she softly answered. "Survival.
Nemesis would be dead now, if not for those experiences. You haven't seen the enemies Nemesis faced in the last decade, or even the last year."

Usagi went silent for a few moments, then slowly sat back down in her chair. "I..." Her voice faltered and broke as she whispered.
"She didn't even realize who I was... She wasn't human, Setsuna.
She was...was..." Very slowly, Usagi's body slumped into the chair,
shaking with soundless tears as she bowed her head. "She was a cat."

Rei wordlessly stood from the chair she was sitting in and moved across the room, slipping a comforting arm around Usagi's shoulder and casting Setsuna a look filled with rage barely held in check. Setsuna met Rei's gaze with a calm, implacable serenity in her eyes,
gained through untold years of experience.

Setsuna's voice was soft as she spoke again. "You think I don't regret what I haven't been able to stop? That I don't wish I could have prevented Nemesis' difficulties? I do, you know. I wish I could have taken Nemesis and made sure none of that evil would have happened.
Nemesis went through pure hell for over a decade and I wish I could have prevented it. But..."

Usagi lifted her tear-stained cheeks and choked out between sobs.
"Stop calling her 'Nemesis' all the time! She has a name! At least show her that much respect! Her name is Ranko! Ranko Satori!"

"No, it isn't."

Setsuna's calm announcement froze all motion in the room. Even Usagi's shaking shoulders stilled for a few moments as she whispered.

"...what?"

Setsuna cleared her throat and repeated. "No, it isn't. Ranko Satori does not exist except on paper. 'Her' real name is Ranma Saotome."

Almost unconsciously, Ami's hand darted to the Mercury Computer and typed a quick inquiry. The results came up almost immediately.
"The only Ranma Saotome on record is male, Setsuna."

"I know. That's because Ranma is-"

"Looks like I'm missing a meeting. Poor manners of me, yes?"

Everyone snapped their eyes to the origin of the voice that interrupted Setsuna's explanation, faces going slack with surprise.
At the foot of the stairs stood an obviously weary girl that they now knew to be Ranma, wrapped in a blanket. Fatigue stained her voice as she spoke.

"Tomorrow, Setsuna. I'll show 'em tomorrow. They'll never believe you, otherwise. Rei's temple should work. As it is, right now, all of us need sleep. We'll finish this tomorrow. Now is not the time, tomorrow is."

Ranma turned and slowly started to make her way back up the stairs, pausing briefly to glance back over her shoulder. "Get to bed.
This will be better after a night of sleep. No training tomorrow."

The senshi watched as Ranma slowly ascended the stairs and disappeared from view, mumbling softly to herself as she went. Setsuna nodded once and announced,

"She's right. We all need sleep. I'll answer your questions tomorrow, but not before."

And with that, Setsuna calmly followed Ranma back up the stairs.

The next morning, the Hikawa shrine was peaceful, with only the sounds of the birds and the wind whispering through the trees to break the perfect stillness.

This was because none of the Senshi (excepting Setsuna) managed to wake up until almost noon. Which resulted in Setsuna resorting to under-handed tactics to wake them all up. She took advantage of the intercoms that were in each room. And the fact that the intercoms were wired into the house's sound system. She even remembered to put in her earplugs before turning on the music.

And the Senshi were woken up by a loud trumpet fanfare. Followed by lyrics they would eventually cause several of them to ask Rei if she could perform an exercism to get them out.

o/" Mini moni terefon da! rin rin rin o/"

"What the hell is that?" Haruka grumbled as her eyes forced themselves open. Beside her, Michiru's response was entirely non-verbal, consisting of slamming her hand into the bedside alarm clock rapidly. And repeatedly.

o/" Denwa wo kakemashou rin rin rin o"
o/" Pakapaka denwa pakka rin rin rin o/"

Usagi grumbled loudly and flipped over in her bed, trying to drown out the insanely-peppy song by burying her head under the pillow.

o/" Rin rin rin tsuu tsuu tsuu o"
o/" Rin rin rin pururururu o/"

Minako blinked bleary eyes and bobbed her head lightly, still mostly asleep as she hummed.

o/" Kochira mini moni rusuban denwa saabisu sentaa desu o"
o/" Rusuden da rusuden da o/"

Ranma...twitched. Repeatedly.

o/" Okeshou yarimashou run run run o"
o/" Paka paka conpakuto run run run o/"

Hotaru blinked slowly turned her head, trying to find the source of the noise.

o/" Bijin ka na? Dou desu ka? Nachuraru ni shiagemashou o/"

Makoto whimpered softly and tried to find a way to get rid of the song without, say...moving. At all. She was warm and comfy and holding onto something soft and nice smelling and...waitaminnit.

o/" Doko ni mo nai mono naraba tsukurimashou o"
o/" Peperonchiino ni chiizu kaketatte ii darou! o/"

Ami grumbled loudly and tried to ignore the music in favor of the dream of Makoto and the contents of a tub of ice cream...hold on a second. Ami's eyes shot open as sleep suddenly became the very last thing on her mind.

o/" Tanoshii ohanashii wa tanoshiku shimashou! o"
o/" Mini moni terefon wa rin rin rin rin rin ririn o/"

Rei growled loudly and threw her pillow at the wall, somehow hoping to kill the intercom. Somehow.

o/" Denwa ga narimashita rin rin rin o"
o/" Imadoki masaka masaka rin rin rin o/"

Setsuna smiled slowly to herself as the undeniably sounds of people waking up started to filter through the earplugs. She whistled innocently as she turned the music's volume up just a tad and started to mentally catalogue the noises she could still hear.

Let's see... That scream is likely Ami realizing she somehow crawled into bed with Makoto sometime last night. And, right on cue,
that's Makoto, realizing just what she's snuggling against. (Wonder how long Ami's slept in the nude?) And that crash sounds like Michiru trying to get her alarm clock to shut up. Again. Going to have to talk to her about the cost of alarm clocks. Usagi, momentarily panicking because she thinks she's late to school... And there's Minako joining her. Wait, Minako's singing along. Well, that figures.
Haruka, screaming something about 'Making it stop.' Argh. And that boom was probably a chi attack. Sheesh. I'm making him pay for the damages. And that scream...is Rei finding out there's always a blast of cold water before the hot in the pipes. Have to give her credit for getting up, though. Lots of practice, I'd imagine.

Setsuna was broken out of her musings by a soft tug on the sleeve of her blouse. She quickly glanced down to see what was going on and saw a semi-sleepy Hotaru blinking solemnly up at her. Setsuna glanced over to her hand, which was still on the volume control for the intercoms and pinkened slightly.

"Ummm...I needed something to get everyone up quickly?" She hesitantly offered, thoughts awhirl. Wait. Why am I offering excuses?

Hotaru just blinked at Setsuna again, then tugged on her sleeve and looked semi-pitiful. Setsuna sighed and snapped the intercom off, then pulled the earplugs out.

"I never get to have any fun." Did I just say that?

Setsuna cleared her throat and casually entered the kitchen,
finishing the last few steps necessary for the food she'd started earlier to finish cooking and studiously ignoring her own behaviour.

The Hikawa Shrine was no longer peaceful, silence shredded by the clamoring voice of a group of very chatty girls. Occasionally,
a loud scream of "GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!" would echo through the grounds, or perhaps "Minako, STOP SINGING IT!" A careful listener would have been able to hear the "But it's cute!" that usually answered that last scream, followed by the sounds of someone smacking their head against something hard.

Ami cleared her throat and tried to ignore the way Haruka was making the table shake.

"I thought Rank-" Ami checked herself, then tried again, "Ranma was supposed to be here." Her voice was pleasant, almost able to hide the undercurrent of accusation that she wasn't even really aware was there. Almost.

Setsuna sipped at the cup of tea in her hands. "Ranma should be."

"Then where is she?" Ami conversationally inquired, fingers twirling her pen quickly.

Setsuna drained the tea in her cup and peered at the tea leaves left in the bottom. "Hmmm... Very close to us now."

Ami craned her neck, trying to see the bottom of Setsuna's cup. "I didn't know you could read tea leaves."

"I can't." Setsuna calmly set her cup down on the table and stated, "But I can watch her as she walks in and stands behind you."

Ami blinked. And heard it. From right behind her. A soft,
low chuckle. She slowly leaned back, tipping her head back to look up.
As her shoulders hit the silk-clad legs only a few inches from her shoulderblades, she mentally made a note to never forget that Ranma could be very quiet.

Ranma grinned down at Ami and cheerfully explaimed, "Hiya."

Ami carefully did not notice the way Ranma's shirt exposed the entirety of her chest from this angle and slowly waved up to the perky girl.

"Hi?"

Ranma waved again and sank onto a pillow fluidly, pouring herself a cup of tea. The rest of the Senshi clustered around the table, most of them staring at Ranma as she sipped at her tea. She glanced at them over the tea cup, carefully measuring the intensity and anticipation in their gazes, cleared her throat, took a deep breath, and carefully enunciated in an incredibly serious voice, "Rubber baby buggy bumpers."

There was a deafening silence.

There was a loud, simultaneous cry of "WHAT?"

There was a deafening silence, broken by a slow giggle being emitted from the odango'd blonde in the corner as she pointed at the dumb-founded look on most of the Senshi's faces. Usagi rapidly progressed from the soft giggling to full out laughter, falling back on the floor and nearly howling with glee as she gasped out, "T-the...looks...on your...f-f-faces!"

Minako blinked, then slowly started laughing, resting her arms on the top of the table and pillowing her face in them. Her shoulders shook as her laughter grew louder, finally resulting with her following Usagi's example and falling backwards to the floor helplessly,
feet kicking as she laughed and laughed and laughed.

The rest of the Senshi blinked. And slowly started to let their mouths quirk in smiles as the infectious laughter started to get to them. Setsuna carefully set her cup down and closed her eyes, then buried her face in one hand and let slip the final straw: a tiny, almost-repressed snicker. The rest of the girls lost it, in a rush of releasing tension and built-up stress. Ranma sipped her tea again and used the cup to salute Setsuna with grin, silently mouthing "Anything Goes School of Martial Arts Secret Technique: The Hyena Laughs at Dawn." Setsuna simply shook her head and glanced at the laughing group. Even Ami was giggling into her hand, face flushed a bit.

Ranma waited until the laughter had finally started to subside and calmly noted, "You know, it wasn't that funny."

Which promptly set off even more laughter, mostly of the "We can't help it, we'd laugh at anything at this point, please help us stop, this is getting painful" variety. Setsuna just buried her face in her hands and shook her head, waiting for the laughter to die out again. When the room was finally quiet again, she eyed Ranma with a look that silently warned against trying anything else. Ranma grinned...and stayed silent.

"So, I believe we were here to ask Ranma a few questions,
yes?" Setsuna calmly asked.

"A good point." Ami noted with a quick swipe to her eyes, then turned to the redhead at her side. "Now, would you like to explain why I only found one Ranm-" Ami winced as a squeal broke through her concentration suddenly. She sighed tiredly as she recognized the voice and resigned herself to getting her answers only after
Usagi had finished voicing whatever thought had percolated through her brain.

Usagi giggled and crawled over quickly to lean over the table and poke Ranma's stomach. "I wanna see you transform! C'mon, say it..."

Ranma shook her head. "No. Wouldn't work, anyways."

Brilliant blue eyes blinked hopefully as a lip quivered,
a finger winding blonde hair slowly. "Pleeeeeease?" Ranma twitched. "No. I don't do it that way. It's a matter of will. And it won't work in this form."

Usagi sniffled and gave Ranma her best 'beaten puppy' look.
Rei coughed softly and idly noted, "Might as well just give in..."

"No. Not going to happen." Ranma's voice was solid as a rock,
with a slight under-current of menace.

"Ranma's scaaaared." Haruka lightly sing-songed, snickering as she saw a wonderful opportunity for revenge present itself.

"I am NOT!" Ranma roared, jerking to her feet and pointing an accusing finger at Haruka. "You take that back!"

"Then why won't you say it?" Minako perkily chirped. "No harm, no chicken, right?"

"I'm telling you, it won't work!" Ranma exclaimed with an exasperated overhead fling of her arms. "My transformation doesn't work that way, it won't do anything to this form, and I'm not going to say it 'cause it sounds stupid!"

"Say what?" Setsuna asked innocently.

"Nemesis Planet Power, Make Up!" Ranma nearly bellowed in frustration--then froze in absolute horror, eyes wide as dinner plates.
And stayed frozen for a few long seconds, before her shoulders slumped with a loud sigh. "Oh, thank Kami-sama..."

A spark of black energy rippled up her form.

"OH, FU-"

And her clothes exploded in a rush of ebony flame, lifting her from her feet in a surge as the field of energy surrounded her with a CRACK and a sharp tang of ozone. Flashes of skin could briefly be seen as magic washed over her form, tightening into a coccoon of dark energy, hiding her utterly from sight before bursting outwards in a wash of light.

Nemesis' booted feet hit the wood of the floor with a sharp crack. The Senshi simply...stared.

"Uh..." Usagi stated elegantly.

"That's not the normal uniform..." Makoto mumbled, rubbing at her eyes as her voice trailed off.

"That is not a fuku, either." Ami managed to get out, jaw slack.

"Is that...leather?" Minako asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Is that painted on!" Haruka exclaimed, leaning closer with an intense look, only to have the back of her head thwacked by Michiru.
"Ow! It's a valid question!"

Setsuna blinked. And very carefully controlled the laugh that was trying to bubble out of her throat. Nemesis' expression promised that laughter would be a Very Bad Thing right now.

And Nemesis tightened her leather-clad fists until the leather creaked. She took a deep, careful breath, trying to ignore the way she could feel leather straps criss-crossing her chest, and slowly took a step forward. Yes, she could feel high heels on the knee-high boots. And that was a definite jingle of chain from around her hips and waist. Slowly, her eyes opened and with a whisper soft voice she calmly asked, "Am I wearing a tiara?"

Silent nods answered her. She nodded with a too-calm smile and reached up, ripping it off her brow and throwing it to the side.

"Ummm...it's back." Makoto noted hesitantly. Nemesis twitched as her fingers ventured back to her forehead and confirmed that fact.

"Of course it is. He would do that. At least I don't have earrings--"

"Little black ones. Studs." Haruka broke in.

"..." Nemesis' face went blank and as she hopefully asked,
"But I'm not wearing a choker...?"

"Black with a white cresent moon." Setsuna calmly informed.

"Please tell me no hair ornaments," Nemesis' voice was flat with hopelessness.

"No." Ami responded quickly.

"Oh, thank you for small favors!" The leather-clad Senshi exclaimed with a sarcastic bite to her voice.

"But it is nicely styled." Haruka casually commented,
savoring the not-so-subtle revenge happily.

A quick shudder answered the statement, followed by an almost pleading question of, "No ribbons?"

"No ribbons." Setsuna confirmed with a nod.

"Oh, thank Kami-sama!" Nemesis slowly looked over herself and firmly crushed any desire to comment that at least she looked good, and tried to reason with herself. Argh. Her. Damn it all. This sucked. This really sucked. Why did she always end up a girl?
Always, always, always! It was like she was the butt of some vast cosmic conspiracy! "How can this get any worse?"

Usagi blinked and cheerfully remarked, "But the makeup is very nice! It makes you look a lot prettier"
A single, massive twitch was the only reply.

To Be Continued... Author's Notes:

What? They can't ALL end on cliffhangers, right? C'mon, isn't a pathetic attempt at humor a good way to end a chapter? Anyways.
I'm going to shut up now.

Okay, I lied. I'm going to apologize for the MASSIVE delay in getting this done, hope it doesn't suck so badly you all will hate me for it, note it is a rough draft, and run while shutting up.
Thanks to Kenko for evil ideas on the transformation scene. It would be a lesser scene without his input.
Ja Ne! Slacker

PS. The song used is an actual song. It is J-pop, obviously,
and was described by a friend as "audio crack cocaine". Its title is "Telephone! Ring Ring Ring!" and is by the band Mini Moni.

RedDeath, this is dedicated to you.

Lyrics can be found at: English: http/ Japanese: http/ a copy can be located at http/ (Good luck getting to it.)