I decided that it might be fun to write a fanfic from Sweets' point-of-view about the relationship between Booth and Brennan, because he's had to interact with them at some very amusing times. So what better to write about than his reaction to the whole B/B kiss?

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan were sitting in my office, and they were arguing – big shocker, right? These two people argued with each other more in a day than Dr. Brennan corrected people in a month; and this was in a good month. Sometimes it's so hard to follow their line of conversation that I just sit and watch them go back and forth. Somehow, although I'm not quite sure how, they had gotten onto the topic of Brennan's "relationship commitment issues".

"How can you not appreciate my side of things?" Booth implored. "I thought that scientists were supposed to be open-minded." The smirk on his face could hardly be rivaled by even Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter books.

"If there are multiple people you feel a connection to-"

He didn't let her finish; I got the feeling that they had been through this argument before. "Ha! That's bull shit, and you know it. Haven't you ever wondered what it must feel like to discover that the whole time you were dating someone, they were with another person as well?"

"Booth, I'm sure that at some point in your youth you did things with one girl while going out with another." I kind of had to agree with her. Booth did seem like the type to cheat on his girlfriends.

"Never."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "What about as an adult? You haven't so much as kissed a woman while going out with another?"

"Absolutely not!" he said, smiling proudly. Wow. Who would have t thought?

The next thing that was voiced shocked me even more, however. "So when we kissed last Christmas, you weren't going out with or planning on going out with a woman?"

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What now? "Excuse me? Dr. Brennan, did you just say what I thought you said?"

It was then that they seemed to remember that I was in the room with them. They both glanced at each other before Brennan said, "It's not the way it sounds, honest. It was under mistletoe."

Oh yes. That made it so much better. Booth must have seen this reaction in my expression, because he quickly added, "Well yes, that still sounds bad. But Caroline made us do it. I agreed, because I wanted to help Bones' family."

Her family? "You kissed Dr. Brennan… to help her family?" This made no sense at all, and it was sounding worse and worse by the second.

"He wanted to get us a trailer so that we could spend Christmas as a family instead of surrounded by criminals…" she explained lamely.

"Because your father and brother most definitely aren't criminals; totally clean records right there." Booth rolled his eyes.

"Hey! You were the one who thought we should get a trailer in the first place!"

I cleared my throat, and they both looked at me. "I hate to interrupt this love fest, but I am really confused. Would you please continue explaining?"

"I asked Caroline to give us a trailer for the evening… and she agreed, on one condition." Gotta give props to Booth; for an FBI agent with a considerably low IQ (compared to the other people in the room, I mean), he sure got back on track quickly.

"And this condition was that you kiss Dr. Brennan?"

"On the lips. For five steam boats." She added.

Steam boats? "Five what nows?"

"Like seconds. But she counted in steam boats." Booth explained.

"So you kissed, on the lips, for five 'steam boats'?"

They both suddenly looked incredibly uncomfortable. And it most definitely was because of my question about the five steam boats. As if clarifying this, Brennan said quietly, "It was more like 10 or 15."

"10 or 15?" I breathed. The rest of it made sense; but they had been kissing much longer than was required of them. "Um, I must apologize for asking this of you, but do you think you could recreate the occurrence as closely as possible?"

"It was a year ago…" Brennan said slowly. "How could we possibly remember what we did a year ago?"

I could name what I had for lunch a year ago (a ham sandwich with tomato, lettuce and cheese on top, with coffee on the side. And a cookie), they could remember what happened. "Please just do it like you think you did. I'm supposed to be seeing how you two interact with each other; this is very crucial to that."

"But it was a-" Booth began. I didn't let him finish.

"I know it was a year ago, agent Booth. Again: please just do it like you think you did." God. Props taken away for not listening to my full request.

Brennan shoved a hand into her pocket, annoyed, and for a second I thought she was reaching for her car key so that she could leave. But instead she pulled out a piece of gum, putting it into her mouth carefully. "There's no mistletoe in here." She observed, looking around.

"Oh, forgive me for taking down my Christmas decorations some time before Easter." I shouldn't have used sarcasm, but they seemed to be seriously stalling.

They both grumbled as they stood up, obviously looking for other flaws. Suddenly Booth said, "Oh, Caroline isn't here. Hmm, maybe I can go f-"

"Or maybe you can just pretend that I'm Caroline and get this over with, Seeley."

He didn't seem to like the fact that I referred to him by his first name – which was what I intended – and I think he realized that I was trying to use it to show how childish he was being. He did not like a "kid" like me acting like he was the child. Facing Brennan, he said, "Let's just get this over with."

Retelling what it was like would be impossible. It was a completely in the moment thing. But I will try. Instead of Booth pulling Brennan to him, like I expected, she pulled on his tie, making him lean down to bring his lips to hers. They seemed to have forgotten that I was even in the same room as them. And that was most definitely more than five steam boats.

When they pulled away, Brennan looked flushed. And she was no longer chewing that gum; Booth, however, was chewing on something that I had not noticed in his mouth before. "That…" I said finally. "Was so not done as a friendly gesture. If you did it at all the way you did for Caroline, that is."

"I think we did it almost exactly the same." Booth mumbled.

"And I think that we have some things to discuss."

Brennan looked down at her watch. "Hey, look at the time! I really hate to cut this short, Dr. Sweets, but Booth and I agreed to go and meet this friend of… yeah. Remember Booth?"

"Oh yes, thank you for reminding me! Come on, we should probably hurry. I'm sure he'll be waiting." Booth immediately grabbed his jacket and started leading Brennan toward the door.

"No, I really don't think that we're done here. We have quite a lot more t-"

"No, no, I really think that we are done here. Later Lance." Booth said, waving before shutting the door behind him. I almost expected him to stick his tongue out.