I lied down on the benches in front of the church, groaning.

Aeira wasn't the one. She tried to recommend me a Fomor language dictionary. As if would have bought it…not that it was even real, of course.

Aranwen told me to find a Druid…she was sort of scary, as if she knew something important that I didn't.

Last was Eavan, who seemed as oblivious as the rest.

Just as I was giving up, I heard a voice call out to me.

"Diya? Is that you?"

"Mother Kristell?" I asked, sitting up, I spotted the priestess exiting the church and heading my way.

I haven't asked her yet.

"What brings you all the way to Dunbarton?" she asked politely.

Rubbing my head, I asked her, "Mother…do you know what 'Dul Brau Dairam Shanon' means?"

"Lets go inside."

That was all that she said before walking into the church.

~*~*~

"...What is your interpretation of it so far?" Kristell inquired.

I answered her question honestly, telling her what Tarlach's thoughts had been. I really didn't have any thoughts of my own. I couldn't believe that the Goddess would do something like that.

"Where did you hear that?"

"…" I decided to tell her. Tarlach had told me not to tell anyone about him but Fomor or not, Kristell was still a priestess, and it was merely the fact that he existed, nothing else.

"Ahh, I see…I understand…so Tarlach is still alive after all."

"Huh?"

She smiled with her eyes closed. Something told me that she must have known Tarlach before he was stuck on that altar. That meant that she wasn't the Fomor then, since Tarlach wouldn't dare befriend one. Kim was the perfect example.

"'Dul Brau Dairam Shanon.' Truth is, I was the one who taught Tarlach the meaning of those words."

"What?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

Thank the goddess that Kim wasn't here, because she would have freaked. Still, I couldn't believe it! This also confirmed that Mother Kristell…a priestess… was a fomor! Although unlike Tarlach, I didn't hold any grudges against them, it was still shocking.

"Yes…I am Boni Gordisse, I'm what you people call a Fomor or a monster…" but the look of my face, she must have know what I was thinking. "I don't look it…eh? I have become a human with the blessings of the gods…ah…sorry I've rambled on too much about myself. I apologize."

"No no! It's perfectly fine…I'm just a little shocked."

"The words on that medal…it's true that it means to seek out the power of the Goddess but she isn't the one sending the Fomors. I can swear on my honor as a Priestess. Tarlach has misunderstood that part. She has always been looking after mankind, even as a statue. That's only an amulet for Fomors…there's no meaning behind those words anymore…Diya…can you tell me where Tarlach is?"

I jump at the request and she must have noticed the look on my face.

"…You don't seem to trust me either. Is this because I told you I was a Fomor before?"

"…I'm sorry Mother Kristell."

Something turned inside of me, there was something I wanted to say but I didn't know what it was.

"I see…well then…" she went into another room.

I felt bad for not telling her, but I had to protect Tarlach. Priestess Kristell knew him though, and she was no longer a fomor…but who's to say that she wouldn't attack him? Just because she's a human and a priestess…no, I shouldn't doubt her like that. I don't think she would hurt him…

"This is the only item I'd ever received from Tarlach, it holds his memory. If you go to Rabbie Dungeon and offer this to the altar of the Goddess, you can see what he saw. I think then you could trust me."

She gave me a glasses pouch. I took it and held it tightly.

"…I'm sorry…Mother Kristell."

I turned away and I walked out of Dunbarton.

~*~*~

I finally got home to an empty house, feeling more exhausted than ever before. Home seemed so foreign to me. It was still morning, so that would mean that everyone was at school, though Uba and Yoyo moved away with Dot…did Ckika and Sularin even go with them?

"Diya?" My spirit called my name.

"What's up Zeiyo?"

"Let's take a nap! We had a hard day" he happily offered as his spirit floats around me.

Sleep? With this much stress?

I nodded happily nonetheless and ran to the room, pulling his spirit with me. He went into the weapon when I placed him in the corner. Quickly, I lay down on the bed and hugged my pillow. When was the last time I slept on something soft? It felt like so long ago. When the kids came home, I would offer to make them their favorites, and then call everyone just to chitchat with them.

Right now, I'm glad that I have my kids. They're all I have left…besides my memories.

~*~*~

What the hell was I doing? I was currently in Emain Macha, taking the back routes towards the castle, in case the kids saw me. Why was I worried about that? Heaven only knew, but I felt in the mood to walk.

I was going over the fence that surrounded the castle when I heard a deep voice shout out, "Hey you! Who are you!?"

In the name of…!

Biting back my curses, I turned to the guard and smiled as sweetly as I could, "Oh hello, I was just entering the town…is there a problem?"

HAHAHA! Is there a problem!? You're jumping over a fence…near the castle, for heaven's sake! You're going to be stuck in the castle's jail for life!

Charming laughter caught our attention as my knight in shining armor came to my rescue, grinning at me as I blushed and ducked my head.

"Relax Ryu, she's with me" Aodhan said offhandedly.

The knight nodded and continued his patrol while Aodhan easily lifted me off the fence and onto my feet, picking leaves out of my hair in the mean time.

"Turned into a criminal?" he teased.

"You just can't wait to use your handcuffs on me, can you?" I teased right back.

He laughed again as he led me to the town's restaurant, Loch Lios. As soon as we entered, the waitress Shena greeted us with a big smile. Obviously, Aodhan came here for lunch often enough that we had his 'regular' table by the water. She took our order and ran off.

The knight smiled at me, "I haven't seen you in a long time."

I shrugged, "My kids are going to work at the castle with you."

"Ah, Yoyo and Uba."

"That makes four of my kids you have stolen."

"Four?"

"Yoyo, Uba and Dotty…don't you have something better to do than stealing kids? If Aydub says he's working here, then I'll have to press charges against you. I don't take kidnapping too lightly mister, guard or not" I laughed, but I was alone.

Aodhan's face was cold and hard now, and his hands were clutched around the cup of water. What did I miss?

"Diya…" he grabbed my hand, "I have something to tell you" he started but Shena comes back with our orders.

"Bouillabaisse for the mademoiselle and Cow Au Vin for the gentleman, you want any drink with that?"

"Wine" Aodhan ordered. Both of us females looked at him oddly.

"Aodhan, aren't you still on duty?" I asked.

"Plus, it's only noon. Shouldn't you wait till a bit later?" Shena asked but Aodhan instead ordered their strongest and most expensive wine.

She left us with our food. I couldn't eat though because I was staring at him incredulously. Our food had alcohol in it already, and his food had even more than mine. Was he trying to get us drunk?

Now I felt bad; I had ordered an expensive meal. Would have enough for everything? Without thinking, I pulled out my wallet and shook my head.

"You shouldn't spend so much money."

He took my hand gently, stopping me, "Diya…"

The way he said my name made my skin crawl. The last time I heard him say my name like that was three months ago. Back when I was a wreck and had just started juggling all the kids on my own…back when my husband had just died.

"Yes Aodhan dear?" I forced a smile, but I knew he could tell that I was worried.

I don't want to know! Don't tell me whatever it is…please? If you found Zero's body, just don't tell me! I hoped, I prayed...

Flash backs of the dungeon played in my head. Reflexively I went to grab for the medallion, but I had forgotten that I had given it to Mother Kristell.

"Have you been home?"

Nodding, he sighed, "Diya, hasn't anyone told you about Aydub?"

I shook my head, my heart finally relaxed. Aydub was strong enough to take on anything, much like all my kids. Sighing with him, I put my hand over his, "Craig fired him? Cause I can go over to him and kick the shiny metal right out of his behind."

Our drinks arrived. Shena gave me a mean look before returning to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes, girls were always getting jealous when I held mens' hands. Aodhan had noticed the look that the waitress had given me and let go. "Sorry." he apologized sheepishly.

"Don't even worry about it." I said with a wave of my hand "So what is Aydub up to? Did he beat some rookie's butt too hard? Or tell Craig what an old cook he is?"

I take a sip of my wine and cringed. This drink tasted more like liquor then wine. Swooshing the drink around, I decided to drink some more.

"No, Ay was a good kid. We all admired him, he should have worked at the castle, would have been welcomed with open arms." Aodhan says as he gulped down his drink and poured himself more.

I laughed, was the drink already affecting me? Or was it because the castle was too boring for a busy person like Aydub? "Was? Admired? I'm not some grammar police, but you're not supposed to use –ed unless it's past tense."

"Enjoying the drink?" he dodged the question, but I was starting to feel warm about now.

"Yep! I think I'll have some more…" I huffed at the memory that flashed through my head.

He noticed, like always, "What? Drink is too strong?"

"You made it strong! Don't be wimping out now" I teased as he poured me another cup, "I was just remembering…this was where Zero took me out the first time. Though he was so cheap, we ordered Croque Monsieur-- which wasn't so bad, really. Then he bought me some sugar and a bottle, we went out to the cows and drank as much strawberry milk as I wanted to make. God, tacky first date but it sticks with you after a while."

I swallowed the next drink. I knew I wasn't completely drunk, because a part of me still knew that Aodhan was going to tell me bad news.

"I remember that night. I was on duty, you got in trouble for disturbing the peace…breaking the bottle on his head?" he laughed.

"Shoot, no one makes me cook on the first date!" I defended but he simply shook his head at me.

~*~*~

Aodhan took the rest of the day off and spent it with me.

We stayed in my home town, just walking around and sharing stories. Mostly on my side, we drunk the entire bottle and I was feeling loose like a goose. Every place held a memory for me, heck! Even the beggar held a memory for me, back when I was learning how to cook. I gave him all the leftovers I created or my failed attempts.

Being the gentleman that he is, Aodhan bought me flowers and put one in my hair before slurring something about my beauty. Obviously that was the drink talking. We visited everyone in town. Everyone gave me weird looks but I shrugged it off.

We went everywhere but the Paladin Training Grounds and the Nightclub. I wasn't a young student any more. That was when I decided that it was time to get home, sundown was approaching quickly as we stood on the small island on the outskirts of town.

"Diya?"

"Hm?" I barely registered the fact that he was talking to me, but I felt his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder.

My heart nearly stopped. I forced my eyes open and stared at him with fearful eyes.

"I'm sorry" he whispered to me before kissing my forehead.

No…don't say it! I cried mentally but my mouth was frozen, tears were forming already in my eyes as I shook my head slowly.

"Aydub died about a week ago, we buried him here." He pointed to a stone at the far end of the island, unreadable from where we sat but I knew what it would have said.

"…How?"

"Bear…we couldn't even find the body. Diya?"

"I need to go home."

Highly alert, I jumped up and ran from him. Shouting was heard but I ignored it, memories flooded my mind as I somehow found my way home. I was lost in a daze on the walk, only thinking of my child.

Aydub…please don't tell me it's true. I can't lose you too.

Flashback

I was sitting at the Tir Chonail cemetery, sitting in front of Zero's grave with flowers in my hand.

It wasn't his real grave. The town agreed to place the gravestone here so that there would be a tangible way for the younger children to remember him by. I had told them that their father was just missing, not dead, for they had found his sword but not his body.

This was only helpful to the youngest kids who were currently having a hard time accepting their father's disappearance.

All the other kids were at Duncan's house. They weren't sad because we all knew that we hadn't found his body. That left some hope. But what good was hope at a time like this?

"Moron…idiot…stupid! Why did you leave us? What do you expect me to do now? Raise the kids on my own?! Don't think I won't remarry! Do you know how many guys are chasing after me? What man leaves his wife and kids behind?"

"One who wants them to have a life."

"Aodhan!" I cried as I tried to cover my tears, but he'd seen them.

Sitting beside me, he wrapped his arms around me. "He left you behind so you guys could live a happy life. He was constantly moving and would go away from home for long periods of time, that wasn't good for the kids."

I let out a cold laugh while twisting the flower in my hand, "I expected something more realistic, like he didn't want the kids or he just didn't want to be with me. You of all people should give me something at least believable."

"Diya, if he didn't want the kids then he would have said so and if he didn't want to be with you, then I don't know what world you live in! That guy was still in love with you, nine kids and years after you married him."

"Whatever." I muttered. I didn't believe him.

He rubbed my shoulder and kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry. At least he's not dead, he is out there somewhere…he'll be back, one day. All you can do now is just watch your kids and love them as much as you can!"

Rolling my eyes, I pushed his arm away, "You've been rubbing my arm since the minute his sword was found…he's fine! He can buy another sword from anywhere, he's just fine."

He pulled me in for a tight hug and continued rubbing my shoulders, "I'm sorry."

End of Flashback

We both knew…that was a complete lie.

I went home to find Star, Yuki, Ckika, Koriko and Sularin in the living room, doing homework with Ckika helping them all in turn. Yuki screamed as she ran over to me.

"MOMMY!"

I lifted her up and kissed her cheek. The rest just waved at me. I walked over to them and petted each child's head. Ckika pouted since I messed her hair up. "Hey guys." I said, mustering a smile.

"Mommy, are you staying home tonight?" Star asked me with her round blue eyes, pleading silently.

Laughing, I gave her another pet, "Yes baby, my next 'fun adventure' is in town so I'll be here to tuck you guys in."

The two youngest squealed as I put Yuki down, "Mom, you're happy tonight." Ckika points out.

That's just the wine... "I just had a good day, what? I'm too old to have fun?" I teased as I grabbed my daughter and tickled her sides while planting kisses on her cheek.

She started laughing and Sularin got jealous, "Hey! Mom pile!"

Before I knew it, everyone was on my back. We spent the next hour laughing and spending time together. I pushed the idea of telling the kids about Aydub. I figured that if Koriko wasn't saying, then I wasn't going to either.

~*~*~

Lying in bed, I kept moving around but thankfully I didn't cry. It wasn't too long before Zeiyo finally woke up.

"What the hell?" he complained a bit loudly as he rubbed his eyes.

Sitting up, I threw the pillow at his head but it just fazes through, "Hush! People are trying to sleep."

I lied back down and use my arm as a pillow. I don't hear him as he comes over to me, until he pulls my blankets off.

"Well obviously, you're not sleeping. So what the hell is up with you sneaking out this afternoon?" As I looked, he was standing at the edge of my bed with his arms crossed.

"You aren't my father, so what do you care?" I snap back and try to go to sleep.

"What the…oh no you didn't!" he screams at me.

"Shut up Zeiyo and go to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow."

"Did you just tell me to shut up?"

"Yes! For heaven's sake! I need to sleep damn it!" I kicked him off my bed…or would have if he was materialized. Instead my leg just fazed through.

Without even looking, I could hear the hurt in his voice and picture his face, "…Oh…"

"…Yeah…"

He went into his sword and left me alone. I didn't even bother going after the pillow and blanket; that would show weakness to Zeiyo.

~*~*~

I couldn't tell how much time had passed but before I knew it, the sun was rising. My body was exhausted as I sat up, having gotten not a wink of sleep. With a quick glance at the corner, I caught sight of the black weapon and I can picture my spirit.

"Zeiyo?"

Nothing happened.

Getting up, I went over to the corner and sat down, rubbing my head, and gently pulled the sword onto my lap. "Zeiyo…please talk to me…I need you."

Tears dripped down my cheek and onto the blade, awakening the spirit immediately. He appeared right beside me. "What is wrong?!"

Without thinking, I went to lean onto my spirit but instead crashed into the wall. He winces at the sound of the wall and my head colliding.

"Ow, that hurt!" I tried to laugh it off but he materialized and pulled me into his arms, petting my head.

"Mistress Diya, what happened?"

"Aydub is dead" I blurted out before going into a fit of tears. Finally admitting it made it feel more real to me than it had before.

For the entire morning, Zeiyo just held me and let me cry until I finally fell asleep.

I love Zeiyo, he always knew what to do to make me feel better.

Willow just slaughtered my baby xD but that's what happens when you keep changing the story line over and over . thank god for my beta but now my stories are shaking in fear... :3 i love it