Ryou's Story

By: ACE329

Summary: This story is mine to tell. No, not the one whom most refer to as Bakura, the spirit of the millennium ring, just me. He already stole my name but I cannot- will not- let him take away the one thing that I have left…my words.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh!

A/N: After this chapter, we will finally be moving on to the Duelist Kingdom season. Yay! I hope you enjoyed my version of "Season zero" as much as I did. I feel like I get to better understand Ryou the more I write from his perspective.
Please note that as much as I've 'researched' the YGO series, minor details still escape me, such as how aware Yuugi's friends are of the millennium items. So…you could either let me know, or look the other way ;)
As always, I am so grateful for your encouraging comments and helpful advice. I would have never gotten as far with this story if it weren't for such inspiring words :)

A review would be much appreciated, as I've worked very hard on this chapter!

Chapter Ten- The Silver-Haired Thief

My unofficial "date" had a painfully slow start.

But then again, is that not true for all dates…?

Miho wasn't helping the situation, but finally—finally—offered something to put out on the table.

"You know when you sometimes get this unexplained feeling of foreboding, like something horrible is about to happen?" Miho said to me unexpectedly, staring at me with her haunted eyes.

I slowly nodded my head, caught off-guard by this unexpected outburst. Like I implied, it was only a few seconds ago that Miho was being torturously silent, only offering brief monosyllabic responses. I was about to give up, to just pay the check and suggest taking her home, when she finally threw this at me.

I understood Miho's question all too well. I knew exactly what she was referring to. It made me stop in mid-sip from my iced tea.

"That one night—God, it feels like it was ages ago—I just knew that my brother shouldn't have left with that man. There was something about him… I don't know, it was like there was this…this evil energy radiating from him, even though I had no tangible way of explaining this to my brother…"

I couldn't help but gape at the girl who sat across from me. I didn't even mention her brother, or ask about the events that took place before her brother's death, so what was making her say this?

And even more importantly, she saw Nameless? She never told anyone at school that, did she? It was probably because of the most obvious reason I could think of.

"Miho, I don't believe I—"

"This is why you asked me to come with you to this place, right?" Miho dryly prompted. Her face was devoid of any emotion.

I sucked in a sharp breath of air. "What would make you think—"

"Come on, Bakura, I understand guys pretty well," Miho sighed, taking a second to dip one of her fried shrimp into some sauce. "Take Honda for example. I know he's hanging around me all the time in hopes I will see him as more than a friend. I feel really sorry for him…because you can't force your feelings on someone. And Honda's such a great person! He really is. But…" Miho trailed off, biting into her shrimp thoughtfully.

I suppose 'as a guy,' I was stunned. She saw right through Honda, didn't she? Were all girls as intuitive as Miho?

"But?" I repeated with a trace of caution.

"But I just can't see myself dating him. I'm afraid he's just wasting his time, hanging around me so much. And you—" Miho took the opportunity to wag a shrimp tail at me critically—"you are being just as predictable as Honda. I know you're not the type to randomly take girls out to eat."

I couldn't help but nod my head at this in sullen agreement.

"So you must be wondering about my brother," Miho finally deduced. I noticed she left out the word death. "I mean, you never went out of your way to talk to me before."

Would it have been entirely rude to agree with Miho? Would that have been offensive?

"Forgive me," I acquiesced with a regretful smile, "I guess I can't say I disagree with you."

"The real question is though, why do you want to know?" Miho inquired, saying the question more so to herself. "I guess you're not entirely predictable."

I blinked, not expecting Miho's response. "I suppose I want to know because…" I let my words die as I said them, struggling to think of a reasonable answer. Why would I, as a 'normal' person, want to know about Botan's death?

I might as well get to the point. No use in circling around the subject, right? Miho and I had sat in the diner for an excruciating half hour of small talk and I was more than willing to move on to deeper issues at hand.

Of course, I was well aware that discussing anything pertaining to death was a sensitive subject to Miho. And I really didn't want to be insensitive…but there were some things I needed to find out. I couldn't deny the fact that I felt horribly guilty about doing it, though.

I shifted my gaze to my hands, trying to block out Miho's face as I spoke. "I want to know because…I think the same man who got away with your brother's murder tried to kill me too." Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. It was figuratively true, I guess.

Miho nearly choked on her Diet Coke as her eyes grew to the size of small saucers. "What?" she practically hissed through clenched teeth. "Bakura, are you serious?"

I ignored the small prick of guilt that nagged at me. "Is this something to joke about?" I asked with a completely sober expression. "I just want to clarify if it's the same person. This isn't something I could have asked you during school, you see."

Immediately Miho understood. "No wonder you wanted to go somewhere else," she murmured absentmindedly. "So how did that thief get to you? What happened?"

Interesting choice of words that Miho picked. She called Nameless a 'thief'? I wondered why. However, there were more important issues that needed to be addressed.

"I was walking back to my apartment alone one night," I lied quickly, eager to move onto Miho's side of the story. Funny how lying became easier as I went along. "And he said he was lost. He asked for directions—"

"No," Miho whispered, staring at her glass with a ghostly cast to her face. Her face was stripped of all color.

The elaborate story I was concocting in my head immediately vanished. "What is it?" I worriedly asked. What did I say wrong?

Miho's expression appeared to be completely stoic, although the color was still gone from her face. It was like she fought to keep herself as composed as a mask, although I could tell it was beginning to break.

"That was exactly what happened with me…with me and Bot—" Suddenly Miho's voice cracked, as she ducked her head. She was quiet for a few seconds, pressing her fingertips to her forehead. I could tell she was struggling to control her ragged breathing. Her shift in emotion happened so quickly it caught me by surprise.

She tried again. "Did you know, when I was questioned about my brother's death, that I only reported him as missing?" she suddenly asked me.

Miho continued when she saw me shake my head. "I didn't want to believe the obvious. I thought, well, it couldn't be true! Botan was my brother, and people you personally know don't just die, right? My brother couldn't have been murdered. That only happens in the movies. Or in one of those lame soap operas. God, I was so…so stupid! How could I possibly be that ignorant? That blind?" Miho paused again, this time passing the seconds to organize her thoughts.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head. "Soon enough, I had to tell them the truth. I had to tell them that I saw him walk off to show a stranger a street he never had any intention of walking to, and that he never came back. I had to acknowledge that yes, this is reality, and my brother's body is nowhere to be found. And he's dead. He's gone, Bakura! I'm never going to see him again."

I could see a faint tear trailing down her cheek, one that she was trying to hide.

"I-I'm sorry," Miho offered with the most pitiful smile I had ever seen. That tiny spark of guilt I was experiencing before had multiplied a hundredfold.

Impulsively, I reached across the table and took her hands into mine. This girl's grief was because of the ring, the item I was ultimately responsible for. What could I do to possibly make the situation right?

I could see the shock brimming through Miho's tears.

"Don't apologize for this. You have nothing to be sorry for," I said reassuringly to the broken girl sitting across from me. I really had no clue what I was doing…

"But I could have stopped him, Bakura! I could have told him we needed to get home, or at the very least I could have immediately told the truth. Maybe he still could have had a chance! Why did I say he was only missing? Why couldn't I tell all the details? Don't you see? It's entirely my fault! I could have saved his life!" Miho paused for a brief second, a fresh batch of tears collecting in eyes swimming in agony. "What kind of sister am I…?" Her voice wavered as she said this, squeezing my hands so tightly I was beginning to feel a vague numbness in my fingers.

For the first time in knowing the spirit of the ring, I felt a truly spiteful rage against him. And unlike before, it wasn't for myself. It was for this innocent person—and undoubtedly other people—the spirit has injured without batting an eye. It just wasn't fair, it wasn't right. No, even worse, it was purely evil.

"Miho," I said firmly, staring into her eyes, "There was nothing you could have done. Nothing. There is no stopping people such as him. Once they have a goal, they will accomplish it, no matter who or what stands in the way."

"How?" Miho demanded, "How could you possibly know that?"

A quick snapshot of blood-red eyes was slapped before closed lids. I could faintly hear an echo of cruel laughter, fed off of pain and tears. I opened my eyes.

"I already told you before," I quietly answered. "I survived my first encounter with him. But I know he'll come back and get me." I winced as I heard my own voice, knowing that the truth had weaved itself between words.

A strangled sort of gasp escaped from Miho. Her face suddenly looked pained again. "Bakura…I-I don't know if I can take another person's death…"

I feared Miho would break out into tears once more, but that fear diminished when I watched Miho's face. A ghost of a smile shadowed on her lips in spite of herself. She was trying to be encouraging for me, even though she needed it the most.

"So that means you can't let this monster win," Miho concluded, "you can't let yourself die."

I was surprised by Miho's optimism. How I wished it were that simple! Miho didn't know who her brother was dealing with. Who I am dealing with.

"Don't worry," but I was quick to say, despite my doubts, "Not anytime soon. I won't let it happen." How could I guarantee that? Would a meteorologist promise the public a hurricane that has a fifty percent chance of coming in? No. So why would I assure Miho that Nameless wouldn't try to kill me?

But Miho seemed relieved by my answer.

"Ever since my brother died, all anyone has ever said to me was, 'I'm sorry,' or asking about how I'm feeling," Miho suddenly told me. Her eyes rested on our hands. "But you're different. You're not afraid to talk to me, not afraid that a single word might cause me to break. I know I'm a horrible mess right now,"—Miho sighed at this, freeing a hand to wipe away her tears—"but for some reason, having you listen to me talk makes me feel better."

"It makes me feel better too," I said as well. And I meant it.

A waitress came over to our table, breaking us out of our moment. Our hands unlocked. "Are you ready for your check?" she asked in feigned cheerfulness. I realized Miho and I were at the diner for quite a while.

Still, I wasn't done. Definitely not.

"No, not yet. Thank you, though," I told the waitress. A hint of exasperation glinted in her hazel eyes before she gave a curt nod and left us.

I watched as Miho sipped from her straw. "Miho," I said carefully, "I wanted to ask you something."

She glanced up. "Mm-hm?"

"Would you mind telling me what exactly happened that night?"

Miho stopped drinking as she leaned back in her chair. "And now we're back to square one," she deadpanned.

It took a couple of seconds for this to register. "Oh, that's right. I suppose you were way ahead of me then," I consented. "So would you be willing to…?"

I allowed my question to trail off open-ended, patiently waiting for Miho to respond. I noticed how she often scrunched her eyebrows together when collecting her thoughts.

"What…would you like to know?" she finally asked. She took a deep breath to better prepare herself.

I immediately knew what question had been banging around in my mind since I learned of Botan's death, and even more so when I found out Miho actually saw Nameless. He was in my body, after all. If Miho saw him, didn't she think it was me? This question had been bothering me as an unhealed injury would, a constant steady pain angrily pulsating through me.

"What did he look like?" I forced myself to ask. As much as I tried, I couldn't get my voice to sound empty of fear.

Miho stared down into her glass, suddenly trancelike. I could tell she was allowing her mind to reel back to that very moment when she encountered Nameless. The very last moment when she saw her brother.

"…It was very, impossibly dark that night," Miho faintly said, still looking down. "Even the streetlamps were turned off, as if they were broken. Only the moon served as even the smallest trace of light, although the clouds often covered it up. So I didn't get to see much of him, as you probably didn't either, since you're asking me," Miho exhaled, as if trying to calm her suppressed emotions. "But…"

I was vaguely aware of my hands tightly clenched together, under the table. I was glad to have them out of view, for they were shaking.

"For a fleeting second, the moonlight managed to shine through the foggy haze that engulfed me and my brother. And I never got to see his face—it was like he never had one to begin with—but his hair, it was…"

I wondered if Miho noticed my trembling. I struggled to keep the tremor just out of my hands. I felt encased in a robe of ice. Why did I feel so cold?

Probably because it could take less than a second for Miho to draw the connection that Nameless and I looked too similar to be a coincidence.

"It was silver," Miho burst out, saying the final word as if it pained her. "It wasn't even a normal human shade of grey, it almost looked metallic—I remember how it shined like a knife's blade…"

I winced at this description. Was my hair truly capable of looking like that…?

"I also remember his voice," Miho continued darkly, her eyes narrowing. "Although I wish I could forget. It was everything you would expect from a killer. An insane killer. Even when he feigned normalcy he couldn't really pull it off. I can't really explain it, other than the fact that something always sounded wrong." Miho's eyes darkened as she recalled the haunting voice. "But, stupid Botan, he didn't pick up on this. That man's—no, I can't even call him that—that demon's voice was deep, and blaringly loud, like the roar of a massive engine. Every word was like a weapon in itself, as if he relished in every sound that would shoot from his lips."

"And the laughing," I almost inaudibly interjected. I was barely aware I had said it, if it weren't for Miho's acknowledgment of my statement.

Her eyes swirled with resentment. "Yes. His laugh. It rips through all sound until it reaches your ears first." Her face clouded with her immeasurable grief. "I heard it, the moment Botan was out of my sight…and I had no idea what was happening to him." Her shoulders began to shake, but no tears came. She merely held her breath, squeezing her eyes shut.

I silently waited for Miho to speak again. No words I could offer her would help at this point.

"How can I ever really be happy again, Bakura?" Miho impulsively demanded. She slammed her fist on the table, and it made me jump. Her lip trembled. "I'm literally drowning in all of these horrible emotions, and the whole goddamned world keeps on spinning! All of my friends at school don't understand. They can say, 'I'm sorry' all they want and it won't do a thing for me! What are they sorry for?! That I'll never be the same person again? Excuse me for not having the strength throw my grief away in the trash!" Miho's voice had become shrill, her entire face straining to not give in to crying.

It were as if Miho's confession had allowed her pain to transfer over to me. I was hurting, too. To see how hard she struggled to remain sane…

"You're not alone," I abruptly said with as much conviction as I could muster. "Honestly, yes, the world does move on while you feel you are left chained to the past. You feel that you are the only person out there who must deal with the loose ends by yourself. Even worse, you feel like no one cares."

I swallowed back the lump that was beginning to form in my throat. "I know this…because I suffer too. I don't have a family, Miho," I admitted, dismissing the ghost of an image my father used to be. When my mom and sister died, my father had died too. He just wasn't aware of it yet.

I forced myself to continue. "Loneliness can eat away at your core, until nothing's left. Eventually, when you feel intolerably empty, you get used to it. Pain becomes a natural way of life. Don't ever let this happen to you, Miho, because once you accept the misery in your heart it's nearly impossible to forget about it." I offered the girl sitting across from me a sincere, empathetic smile. "You still have a family, even though you think it's broken. Don't forget about the people who are still here. I don't have much of a chance for the happily-ever after, but I know that you still do."

Miho was staring at me, her violet-grey eyes wide and teary. "Bakura…? You feel this way?"

I gave a single nod of the head. "You told me to not let this 'monster' win. And I'll try my best. But you should too. Don't you think that succumbing to the sadness is the same as admitting defeat?"

Miho fell silent at this, considering my question. At last she looked up at me. All she could do was nod her head in agreement, and I knew what she meant.

"Thank you," she at last said to me.

And it finally became clear to me, at that moment, that Miho was eventually going to be all right.

It had grown dark by the time Miho and I walked out of the diner. It appeared we had both lost our sense of time while sitting there together.

I was walking Miho back to her home, despite her half-hearted protests. Frankly, there would not be much I could do if she ever needed someone to defend her, but it definitely was the 'right' thing to do.

…Well, I also wanted to prolong returning back to my apartment for as long as humanly possible. I mean, I knew I had to go back into my bedroom eventually…and I also knew what awaited me there. That aside, I still had a question that lacked an answer.

"Miho," I said, slipping my hands into my pockets to better shield myself from the cold, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

She momentarily glanced up from the pavement. "Yeah?"

"A while ago, when we were talking about …you know…him, you had referred to him as a 'thief.'"

Miho nodded her head stiffly. "I guess I did. What's your question?"

I hesitated. "Well, why?"

Miho shrugged her shoulders, as if it were obvious. "He stole a life, didn't he?"

Oh. That made perfect sense, didn't it? How fitting, to refer to Nameless as a thief. How many things has he snatched away from me? Aside from the physical, such as my piano or even my body, he has also stolen my chance for normalcy, a sense of freedom...and eventually, I'm sure, he might just rob my sanity.

I opened my mouth to say something, but was suddenly interrupted by another voice.

"Look, you guys! It's Miho and Bakura! Hey, you two!" It was Anzu who spoke, accompanied by Yuugi, Jounouchi and Honda.

Honda!

Oh, God.

I silently cursed as I watched the group approach us. Perhaps I felt even more dread with Honda's reaction to me than I did with eventually having to deal with Nameless. Which, in its own respect, is sort of pathetic.

"Hello," I said politely, trying to strain out the shakiness in my voice. "It's a surprise to see you all here at this hour."

"Yeah, I'd say the same thing," Honda replied coldly. Even in the darkness, I could see his eyes glinting with jealousy.

How could I explain to Honda that I really had no intention of 'taking away' Miho from him? Although I must say, it was not like she had any romantic feelings for him anyway.

If Miho had any clue that Honda was shooting daggers at me, she did not show it. "So what are you guys up to? Ryou and I just got back from dinner."

Ryou?! What was she thinking? She never called me by my first name! Was she trying to kill me?

"Ryou," I heard the group repeat under their breaths in unison, almost like a collective gasp. I could hear the question in their voices.

Well, now I was sure Honda was bearing his fangs. Did humans have fangs? Honda did.

I was barely conscious of the fact my feet were inching backwards.

Yuugi came to my rescue. "Jounouchi and I were buying Duel Monster cards. Since we're leaving in a couple days we figured it'd be a good idea to boost our decks. Anzu and Honda just wanted to come along for the ride!" He smiled mischievously as he held up a bag filled with packs of cards. "Just don't tell my grandpa. He'd kill me if he found out I bought cards at a store other than the Game Shop! But what can I say? I need more variety."

I nodded my head nervously. Wasn't Yuugi's grandpa currently gone? Why was he talking as if his grandpa were perfectly okay?

Jounouchi apparently saw my lost expression. He jokingly elbowed his friend. "Show him, Yuug."

"Show me what?" I said slowly.

But my confusion skyrocketed when Yuugi pulled out a camcorder from his backpack. He waited until he saw Miho was looking the other way.

"Say hi, Grandpa," Yuugi told the video screen.

I about fainted when I heard it respond back.

"Well hello there, friend of Yuugi's!" the screen told me cheerfully.

"What?!" I gasped. Was this some sort of hallucinogenic dream?

"What is this?" I barely managed to choke out in disbelief. I was clutching my chest in alarm. A look closer at the screen clarified that yes, Yuugi's grandfather was inside a video screen. Oddly enough, Miho wasn't even aware of my panic. She clearly was zoned out from the conversation, which was strange considering she wasn't like that at all when it was just the two of us…

"Well, I thought my Grandpa had mysteriously disappeared into Pegasus's hands," Yuugi began, looking at the device he was holding, "Which is partly true. But what really happened, is that Pegasus trapped my grandpa into a video screen!"

"Yes, and it's quite strange in here," the man in the screen informed me. "I can't move anywhere! It gets boring quite easily."

"We'll keep you company, Gramps," Jounouchi piped up, rotating the camcorder to face him.

"Not so close! Your face is scary that big," Yuugi's grandfather said with surprising good humor. I can't make this statement until it actually happens to me, but if I were trapped in an electronic device, I would not be in a joking mood.

The group laughed at this while Jounouchi bristled. Miho simply blinked at the group's outburst.

"Yeah, please don't scare Yuugi's grandpa, that's the last thing he needs!" Anzu teased the golden-haired teen.

"I was offering encouragement," Jounouchi huffed.

"Well that's all well and good, but do it a considerable amount of distance away next time!" Yuugi's grandfather replied.

"H-how is this even possible?" I stammered, still staring at the camcorder incredulously. Pegasus trapped Yuugi's grandfather into a video screen? Of all the bizarre things to do…

"He has a millennium item, remember?" Yuugi pointed out. "And it seems he gets a lot of good use out of it… I mean, how does he even know how to control it? My puzzle's power seems kind of random, actually…"

"Yeah Bakura, you should know all about misuse of the millennium items," Honda suddenly piped up with spite oozing from his eyes. "That demon inside your ring trapped us into figurines to kill us, if memory serves correctly…"

Miho's head snapped up as she looked around in alarm. "Wait, what are you guys talking about…?"

Everyone blanched, except for Honda, wondering how carefully Miho was listening. They knew she had a tendency to zone out during conversations, which they felt allowed them to talk freely. It was risky, as was just proven. Miho knew a little about the items, but wasn't entirely aware of their powers or the possibility that spirits could reside in them. She only knew they were from ancient Egypt and possessed some type of 'negative' energy that made 'strange' things happen.

Jounouchi was an expert at playing the oblivious card. He blinked. "Whaddya mean, what are we talking about? We didn't say anything."

Miho frowned. "But I'm almost positive you just said something about those weird Egyptian items…"

Jounouchi shook his head with a completely sober expression. "Nope."

Honda shook his head in disgust as he sighed. His coffee-stained orbs slid over to me. I could clearly read the suspicion in them.

"Anyway," Yuugi drawled, moving from one foot to the other impatiently, "We were just about to head back home. It's getting late."

Well, at least to him. 'Night-crawlers' such as the spirit of the ring wouldn't even consider this as the beginning of their day.

"Hey, friend of Yuugi's with the white hair," Yuugi's grandfather suddenly chimed. I obviously knew who he was referring to.

"Yes?"

"Do a poor old man a favor and tell me where my grandson and his hoodlum friends went off to while I was stashed away in a backpack."

"Uh…"

"Haha! Too much information, Grandpa! I guess that's our cue to leave, right guys?" Yuugi's voice sounded perfectly conversational, but he looked at me with pleading eyes. I bit back a smile.

The group muttered sentiments of agreement as Yuugi carefully stowed away the camcorder. I could vaguely hear his grandfather grumbling about how his grandson and the group probably headed off to a 'sexually explicit' store.

Right as the group turned to leave, the moon managed to break out from blackened clouds. A hazy mist of light blanketed us with a golden-tinged glow.

I heard Anzu gasp.

"Bakura! Your hair…It looks silver under the moonlight…" I saw her wide-eyed gaze and it made me wonder—was it really that drastic?

Jounouchi examined my hair as well and let out a low whistle. "It's got like this metallic shine to it. Weird."

It suddenly occurred to me the conversation Miho and I had about the 'thief's' hair color…

"It was silver. It wasn't even a normal human shade of grey, it almost looked metallic—I remember how it shined like a knife's blade…"

A pang of fear clutched at my heart as Miho froze.

Slowly, very slowly, she turned to look at me. Her intense stare bore into me, countless of questions swirling in lilac orbs. And in those eyes, the feeling I could most clearly identify was distrust.

"You…" Miho began, but was too choked up with conflicting emotions. She made the connection, but wouldn't believe it.

The truth, ironically, did not match up with what I told her, and what she thought she knew.

The group noticed the change in Miho.

"What's wrong?" Honda was quick to ask. He immediately moved in closer.

Miho continued to look at me. I wondered, for a painful few seconds, would she communicate her thoughts?

But her gaze broke away from me as she shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

The clouds sluggishly embraced the moon again, and darkness once more resumed. And just like that, the group broke out of their musings, the moment over.

"So for real this time, we need to get going!" Anzu laughed as she adjusted her purse strap. "It's easy to lose track of time when distracted by so many people."

"You're just distracted by my dashing good looks," Jounouchi grinned as he flicked his bangs. On cue, Anzu whacked him with her purse as the group finally began to continue walking back to their homes.

"See ya later, Miho and Bakura!" Yuugi called over his shoulder.

"Yeah, bye Miho," Honda emphasized gruffly as he left with the other three.

As they walked off, I turned to Miho.

I took in a deep breath. "Will I still be walking you home?"

Of course, at this point, I already knew what her answer would be.

"No," she said curtly. "I think I'll be just fine by myself."

I winced at how cold her tone was.

It became blatantly obvious of what had just happened within that fleeting moment when the moon's malicious light revealed the truth. In short, the entire evening I spent with Miho became erased.

All because of my ugly, ridiculous hair.

I struggled to seem unfazed. Smiling was painful. "Oh, all right. I'll see you at school!"

Miho said nothing in response to this as I helplessly watched her tread away.

Away, away, away…just like that one small hope I had…

I returned home a little sooner than I had hoped. I didn't have to walk Miho back to her place and I found myself rushing to get out of downtown Domino. I was tired of passing shop display windows and seeing the reflection of a monster. I couldn't stand to look at myself.

Back at my apartment, I closed the door behind me as quietly as possible, wondering if anyone—anything?—was home.

"So where were you?" My father demanded. His voice was unusually detached.

I jumped at the unexpected noise. I whirled around.

"F-Father," I acknowledged with the dregs of smile, "I'm still not used to you being home…"

"No, I wouldn't imagine so," my father said, standing completely still. "Which makes me wonder what it is exactly that you do while I'm gone."

I carefully took off my jacket, wondering if I should raise my hands as a criminal would to a police officer. There was something very off about my father's voice.

"What are you talking about?" I said as calmly as possible. "I was out with a friend—"

"Oh, really? I find that hard to believe. You haven't had any real friends since…" My father trailed off, his eyes lowering to my chest, but not finding anything there.

He was looking for the ring. "Yes, since you have given me the ring," I finished for him.

His eyes slowly moved back up to my face. "I was going to say since your sister's death."

I felt a surge of resentment. "I wouldn't expect you to know anything about my social life, so you might as well stop pretending."

And what I really wanted to accuse him of, but didn't have the strength for, was his awareness of the curse he bestowed on me when he thrust the ring into my life.

Anger aside, I was surprised my father was willing to acknowledge my sister's death in the first place.

"I know enough," my father finally said, folding his arms tightly across his chest. "I know that my son is too antisocial to be out and about until it gets dark."

I made a move to leave. "Were you standing by the door until I came home in hopes you could throw insults at me? If so, I'm going to my room."

It was when I had advanced a few steps past my father that he spoke.

"Mrs. Nosaka called me today."

I froze. I remained silent.

"They found Botan's body."

The sound of my heart exploded in my ears. This time, I didn't reply because my voice escaped me. And my thoughts seemed to be locked away in a vault.

"His body was mangled, but they eventually identified it after they recovered it from underground."

"That's…that's horrible," I whispered thickly, my voice unusually low. I placed a hand on the wall to steady myself.

"It's disgusting," my father agreed, his voice coming through like a siren in the night. "It's disgusting that there are people out there who are capable of acting so evil."

Evil. It was a word that described my entire situation.

I forced myself to nod.

"But you're probably wondering why Miho's mother called me."

"Yes," I said, my voice still that pathetic whisper.

"They found a single hair clinging to the boy's clothes, and it wasn't his."

I placed more of my weight against the wall, afraid I might collapse. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"It was a long, white hair. It was identified to not be that of an old person's. That hair belonged to someone between the ages of ten and twenty-five."

"That's odd," I forced myself to say.

"Yes, isn't it?" my father asked darkly. "Especially since we live in Japan. There isn't a single person in Domino who has hair like yours."

I impulsively whipped around, ignoring the slow spinning of the floor. "Father are you honestly accusing me of—"

"No," he interrupted, "I'm not, but Mrs. Nosaka did point out the unusual coincidence. And I'm not usually around to know what you do in your free time—"

"So naturally, that must mean I kill people when I'm done with my homework!" I hissed through clenched teeth, anger blocking out my fear for the moment.

My father's eyes widened at my sudden change of emotion. How I could go from passive to caustic in less than a second. I was even surprised at myself.

"Ryou, that's not what I'm saying—"

"Yes, it is!" I shouted. "Mrs. Nosaka doesn't know a thing about me, but gives you a call anyway and you believe her? What kind of parent are you? Were you waiting for me to come home so you could accuse me of murder? Miho's mother doesn't know me so it's forgivable, but you should!"

I ignored my father's feeble protests as I stalked into my bedroom to shut his voice out. After locking the door, I slumped against it, all of my energy suddenly draining. Talking to my father drained me out, dealing with the stress of Miho's situation drained me out…if only I could rewind time and start all over.

Looking down at my shaking hands, I attempted to slow down my breathing.

But when the anger left as quickly as it came, that was when the fear sank back in.

Mrs. Nosaka called my father because she was suspicious.

Murder. Murder. Murder.

Murderer.

It was so surreal, it was almost like I was wallowing in another nightmare. The reality, the true reality that faced me, was that I could be charged with a felony. For taking someone's life.

Or should I say, stealing it.

That thought immediately reminded me of the ring that resided on top of my desk. Unwillingly my eyes travelled over to stare at the ring, darkly thinking how harmless it looked from a distance.

I was sure that at any moment, Nameless would materialize before me to impose a punishment fit for someone who had the entire day to create it.

And I was scared, so horribly scared, but I was too exhausted to react. I figured anything the spirit of the ring could do to me had certainly been done before.

Besides, I finally accepted that I had lost the battle for total possession of my body. I had known this before, but couldn't bring myself to believe it. Now however, I did not have a choice. No longer would I try to take the ring off, and in return the spirit should hopefully keep me out of the law's grasp. He put me into this mess, now he had to get me out of it.

I warily eyed the ring that rested a short distance away, patiently waiting.

I slowly rose from the floor, my eyes never leaving the ring. I did not give myself time to rethink the situation. I knew that any decision made would lead to undesirable results; it was only a matter of finding out which one would keep me alive and somewhat safe.

The spirit of the ring keeping me safe? How horribly, ridiculously ironic.

Wordlessly, grasping a thin piece of rope conveniently placed in my desk drawer, I looped it around the ring, tied the knot, and slipped it around my neck. I cursed my entire being for doing it, yet remained silent. Vaguely in the back of my mind I wondered what Nameless would say or do to me now that he had access once more.

It was then that Nameless finally materialized by my side.

"I was wondering when you would come to your senses."

Taking one look at him, I had no need to ask him what he planned to do for revenge. Even he knew I wouldn't be taking off the ring again. And he was aware of my reasoning, too—it would be pointless.

That alone was more punishment than he could have ever fathomed.

It was on that day that my letters to Amane began.

Occasionally before, I would write mindless sentences in a pathetic attempt to kill the time. But now, I had the ultimate incentive.

At least there was one thing I had learned from my composition class. I should write. Not because there's a grade involved, but because no one listens.

With a body—and hence my voice—no longer under my possession, writing would be the only way for someone to fully understand me, albeit deceased.

I always like to think that Amane can somehow read these letters that I keep under my bed.

After all, if not even a single soul out there can hear me, what chance do I have to come through this hell alive?

Amane—

Your eyes will never reach this letter, and yet I still write. Perhaps it is to give me some sense of closure, yet even I can't be sure. Truthfully, I'm still upset with you, for leaving me so suddenly, and more importantly, for leaving me to struggle through my life alone. What can I say, I really am a selfish person.

Today I had a small taste of what freedom would be like without the millennium ring. Even then I still felt like I was bird in a cage, although the cage was larger than before. I always am restricted, no matter what I do. I suppose I knew that eventually, I had to put the ring back on. It's inevitable. When I placed the ring back around my neck, I was more than surprised that the spirit wasn't any more angry with me than if I were to obey him in the first place. I think even he was aware that finally, I realized that I couldn't escape him…I would no longer try to take off the ring. That fact alone was more punishment then anything he could possibly do to me. For the spirit's unexpected logic, I am grateful.

I wish the spirit was as predictable as our relationship. Between the two of us, I at least know that I can scream and cry at you for hours on end and you will never respond.
Oftentimes I wonder if that one moment I talked with you in my soul room was just a dream. True to your word, it was in fact the last time I would be seeing you.
I'll try to look at this sensibly and not believe you knew you were hurting more than helping me.

So tell me, Amane, what's the point in establishing relationships with even a single person if you know you will only get burned in the end? I just want to lock myself away until this part of my life is over…or will this part never end…?

In any case, I still love you.

-Ryou