GOL OEDIV SEIDDERF
TIME: 19:46:02
DATE: 1/9/12
SUBJECT: ERAC SEOD EHS EBYAM
Freddie opens his mouth and stops himself short. He waits for the recorder to fully load before he speaks.
"This is Fredward Benson, signing in. Hello, nonexistent viewers."
He gives a tiny smile, a smile he couldn't control.
"As you can see, I'm feeling happy today."
Happiness is taken advantage of. The ones who have it don't care for it. The ones who don't have it need it the most.
"Things are starting to…starting to turn out like I'd hoped."
This was true. He was so worried that he ruined it, that she ruined it, and he stopped pointing fingers. It no longer mattered whose fault it was because it was the same effect.
"As I mentioned to you before, I didn't know what would happen, post…you know. Was I supposed to be a punching bag again? Was I supposed to pretend it never happened? I don't know, I really don't. Was I supposed to say something or was she? I felt—I feel clueless."
He smiles again.
"But she came to me. Sam has 'hated' me for as long as the Earth has been spinning. Why would she suddenly be kind to me? Because of us dating, that's why. She was actually encouraging me. Being kind to me. Like she cared about me or something. And maybe she does."
He looks down, as if the recorder was a disapproving gaze.
"Well, maybe if I tell myself that enough times, I'll eventually believe it."
Wishful thinking.
"But I am starting to wonder if my first theory might come true. It's such a foreign concept, and I feel like I was just hoping for something impossible. But she was treating me so nicely, like a person rather than something she walks on. She encouraged me with my 3D work, and she told me that it was creative. Creativity. Something I'll never have and she has buckets of."
Another thought was coming together, and his brow furrows.
"Wait, why would she want me to be creative? She's plenty creative and so is if it's my dream, why would she care about the viewer's thoughts of me?"
Suddenly the thought finishes and a "You Don't Say?" face shines through him like the sun on a cloudy day.
"She wants me to be creative…just like she is…just like we promised that someday we would try to be together, after we got more like each other."
The thought was so happy that it actually makes him close one of his drawers, the drawers you need a key to access. The drawers that contain things that help him sleep.
"You know what? I don't need any Benadryl or even Melatonin tonight."
He gives the recorder one last smile before shutting it off.