Just a short chapter. I still need more people to pick rules, come on, guys!
Fred and George-
I didn't tell no one about the "inspiration" for your latest prank marathon. Someone told me that their cousin found out from a friend that Percy at the Ministry got wind of what you've been doing and he's as pissed as a drunk in a liquor convention. Best be working on a reply to that howler that's coming your way.
Regards, Susanna
Mr. Fred and George Weasley,
While it is beyond me to comprehend what could possible compel you to put so much time and energy into such horrible pranks, I must ask for it to cease at once. I am certain that a promotion is on its way to my glorious, mahogany office desk, and the only thing that could possibly be holding it up are the rumors around the water cauldron about the rogue Weasley pranksters terrorizing Hogwarts. Please, boys, I have a reputation to uphold.
Percy Weasley, Ass. to MOM
Brother,
We haven't a clue what you are going on about. Don't you have better things to do that gossip around the water cauldron? And to think you would believe such rumors- we can't even go on. Also, it's all well and good that you realized what an ass you are to Mum, but must you really sign your letters like that?
Fred and George, Asses to Everyone
Harry "Lovenuggets" Potter,
I'm thinking about how you always take exactly three sips of pumpkin juice and four bites of food before you gently wipe your mouth with your napkin. I'm thinking about how sometimes when you're sad you crease your eyebrow and look up like you're trying to look at your forehead.
XXOOXXOOXXOOXXXXXXXX, YOUR ADMIRER
Fred and George Weasley,
Are you telling me that, for once in your lives, the rumors about you pulling pranks aren't true? Has Hell frozen over?
Percy Weasley, ASSISTANT to MINISTER OF MAGIC
Percy,
Of course we're not saying that. Hell is still burning, Professor Binns is still in denial, the Fat Lady still binge eats, Snape hasn't washed his hair, and you are still a gullible prick.
Fred and George
Fred and George-
Have you got any idea why Harry refuses to come out of his room? He's telling me to test his food for potions before he eats it, but he will tell neither me nor Ronald why. You didn't do anything, did you?
-Hermione Granger
Susanna,
We're not going to follow the list in order anymore. Percy will find out eventually. It might take a while, seeing as he is quite slow, but it is bound to happen.
Fred and George
I know, it's really short, and I apologize. Here are the rules that are still left for anyone to pick.
Lock Ron in a closet and make a house-elf from the kitchens replace him in all his classes.
Give Dobby a sock and tell him that Professor Snape has the other one. TAKEN BY THE BUSHY HAIRED KNOW-IT-ALL (I love your name!)
Charm Harry's glasses to make it seem like he is always sleeping.
Curse Ginny's boyfriend to so he bursts out in that embarrassing new dance called "the rabid house-elf".
Place a charm on the back of Malfoy's quidditch robes so that to everyone but him they sayMalfoy: Seeker/ Amazing Bouncing Ferret. TAKEN BY THE 5 LS
Give Professor Snape a haircut while he's sleeping.
Tell the first years that Professor Dumbledore used to be a member of the Weird Sisters.
Write Gred and Forge on all of your papers. TAKEN BY LUCYJOAN
Tell Professor Dumbledore that you find long beards extremely erotic and then proceed to stroke it.
Give a house-elf blond hair and tell everyone the Malfoy's had another kid… and he looks just like his brother.
Whenever someone asks you where something is, tell them that it is "up their arse and around the corner".
Let your entire stock of pygmy puffs loose in Professor Snape's private quarters.
Push Malfoy into the lake and say the Giant Squid needed a friend.
Interrupt Professor McGonagall in class and suggestively ask if she and Professor Dumbledore have anything "going on".
Pick a rule, private message me telling me which one you picked, I'll tell you whether it's still available, you write it, I give you ALL THE CREDIT (username, link to profile, and many, many thanks). It's as easy as that! See you guys next time and thanks for all the love!
RainbowRepublic