Chapter 10: The Bandits

"...awareness is different from thinking." —David Foster Wallace; The Pale King

"Oh." Holly stiffened, staying far away from the edge of the pillar. The sick feeling had returned as she became aware once more of how high up they were. The others did not seem to share this sentiment and began descending a narrow staircase carved into the rock. "Are we...Are we climbing down now?

"Of course," Kili replied, following his brother down the narrow path. "We can't reclaim Erebor from here, can we?"

"No," Holly bit out. "I knew that, I was just..." She sighed, bunching up her coat sleeves in her fists. It became clear she was the only one not heading down.

Dori paused, noticing her hesitation. "Are you afraid of heights, lass?" he asked softly, so the others wouldn't hear.

"No," she said, though the bundle of nerves in her chest did not stop its buzzing. "I'm just...we're very high up, and there is a possibility of one of us falling. It's-It's a very logical concern." She crossed her arms.

Dori smiled consolingly. "That sounds like a fear of heights to me. Don't worry, lass. Us dwarves aren't too used to being high up either. Just don't look down, and you'll be fine."

Holly resisted the urge to roll her eyes. That was the advice everyone else had given her, ever.

But no one had ever put their hand on her shoulder as she shuffled down the path, eyes fixed on the horizon.

"It's all right, lass. We're almost there." His tone was, bracing, not patronizing.

It was baffling, Dori's concern for her. He barely knew her, and yet he always seemed to care about her safety and wellbeing. Of course, he was rather known for his mother-hen tendencies, especially with Ori, and Holly had tried to stay out of range of that.

But now...she rather appreciated it.

…..

A metallic cacophony broke decades of silence. The gold sent vague shimmers of light through the dim cavern as it moved. A low thrumming growl echoed through the hall…

"Holly? Holly!"

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was the ground, and how far away it was. Holly shoved herself against the cliff face behind her, trying to get her breathing under control.

"Holly! Are you awake, lass?"

"I-I hope not. Please tell me this is a bad dream." Her voice quavered embarrassingly as the world began to tilt…

"I'm afraid not, lass." She recognized Balin's voice on her right. He was gripping her arm, and Dori was holding her left. They had kept her from falling, and could probably feel her trembling as well.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Dori inquired. "You passed out for a moment, there."

"Is there a problem?" Thorin called from farther down the line.

"Holly just fainted for a moment," Balin responded. Holly grit her teeth. Fainted… She felt pathetic.

"Is she all right?" Thorin asked.

"I'm fine," Holly replied shortly.

She felt alarmed, though—before her little episode she had felt normal, if a little shaken up. Her loss of consciousness had been so sudden. It wasn't shock—Holly knew what shock felt like, and this wasn't it.

They reached the bottom of the rock without further incident, whereupon they stopped to rest. Thorin was still injured, and the rest of the Company had sustained minor wounds from the orcs and goblins as well.

They spent the day resting and being tended to by Oin, the Company's healer. Kili and Bifur went hunting, seeing as they had lost all their food and supplies in the goblins' lair.

Dori pestered Holly for most of the day to go see Oin, convinced that she was not as unharmed as she said. Holly gave in after a while, if only to get some peace of mind.

That peace of mind did not last long, however. Gandalf approached her at one point to make inquiries about her health.

"Did anything strange happen when you fainted earlier?"

Holly sighed and crossed her arms. "Oh, this is about...that. No, nothing strange happened."

"I am trying to help you Holly," Gandalf insisted, sensing her lack of responsiveness. "It is vital that you tell me the truth."

"I have no reason not to."

"Did you see or hear anything while you were unconscious?"

"No," she said.

Gandalf raised a bushy eyebrow, but said nothing. Holly looked away. He was trying to help her, that was true. But how could she accept his help when she had a deep-seated instinct not to trust the wizard?

…...

Bilbo was in an excellent mood, if a little tired. Thorin had finally accepted him into the Company, and the fact meant more to him than he'd expected.

As the sun began to set and Bombur prepared dinner, Holly walked over and sat next to him. They watched the rest of the Company go about their business in a comfortable silence.

"Um," Holly began, "That thing that you did...with Thorin, back on the cliff, I, um, I thought that...that was...good."

Bilbo smiled and turned to look at her. Her eyes had focused themselves on the ground, hands fiddling with her coat sleeves. "...Thank you. I honestly don't know what came over me." When he had seen Thorin, their leader, so helpless, he had felt a strange urge not only to protect, but to help him. That was perhaps the first time he had viewed Thorin as his equal. Looking back on his actions, he was lucky to not have been killed by the orcs. "...I thought I was going to die," Bilbo added quietly.

"I'm glad you didn't," Holly answered softly. "You know, and back in the goblin tunnels…"

He gave a soft smile. For once, she seemed almost...normal.

"I was afraid you'd bashed your brains out down there." Ah, never mind.

They sat in silence for a while more, the daylight fading.

Bilbo went back to thinking about how close he had been to dying on that hillside. It had never really occurred to him that he might die on this adventure, or even that adventures could be deadly. They certainly weren't all pony rides in May sunshine. He wondered what would happen to Bag End if he never came back. He wondered if anyone in the Shire even expected him to return one day.

"What do you think happens, after we die?" he asked Holly.

She sighed and stretched. "Are you really going to get all philosophical on me at this hour, Bilbo?"

"Well, I want to know," he replied, crossing his arms. Apparently she wasn't going to take this topic seriously. Did she even feel fear? Perhaps he could find out. "You have a lot of...interesting opinions, and I want to know what you think."

"Oh. I'm...not really sure. I suppose I've never really considered that sort of thing before." Now her tone sounded uncertain. She gazed at him with an unspoken question in her eyes.

"I would like to believe that there is something after we die. A life after death, I suppose."

Holly scoffed. "What's the point of death, then, if you get a second chance?"

"I think everyone deserves a second chance," he asserted.

She made a low humming noise and flopped down in the grass, staring up at the sky.

Bilbo frowned. She was using that condescending tone again. "Look, if you disagree with me, you could at least—"

"No, I just think you're making a generalization about a lot of people that you don't know."

He had nothing to say to that.

She glanced up at him. "I'm not going to stop you from having opinions. I just don't think—"

"Yeah, I know." Perhaps he was making a generalization, but then again he did know a lot of people who had deserved a second chance. People who had lost their lives without deserving it.

As if Holly knew anything about loss.

…

The next morning, they began traveling again. Thorin asserted that he was well enough to walk, and that they should start moving. No one was keen to argue. Their deadline was drawing ever closer.

It appeared as though Holly was back to square one with Bilbo—he did not look at her once while they packed up and began walking. Though she wasn't quite sure where she had stood with him before.

So when Nori, who had been talking with Ori, caught her eye and smiled, she hesitated for about half an hour before catching up to him.

"I…" She took a deep breath. "I would like to confirm that we are, indeed, friends." She waited with bated breath as he seemed to consider this, looking a bit confused.

Finally, he smiled. "All right, then."

She nodded and made to walk away, but Nori called out, "Stick around and talk with us, will you?"

"Oh, um, all right."

She listened them talk about what had happened in the goblins' cave after she'd...left. Apparently Gandalf had come to save them and helped them fight their way out.

After a comical retelling of the party at Bag End by Nori, he turned to her and asked, "So, where'd you get that coat? It seems pretty sturdy. Is it of dwarfish make?"

Holly's coat was made of a thick black material, and was several sizes too large—the hem reached her knees.

"I don't know. It was my father's." She knew where this conversation was going.

"Sounds like he has good taste."

"Doesn't he live in Laketown?" Ori piped up. "Maybe you could introduce us if we stop by."

Holly suppressed a sigh. "He, ah, jumped into the lake when I was younger. Can't really introduce anyone to him anymore."

There was a predictable silence.

"I'm very sorry, Holly," Ori said finally.

She wasn't quite sure how to respond, having never really shared this piece of information with anyone before. "Don't apologize. You didn't have anything to do with it."

"It's hard, though," Nori sympathized. "Losing a father."

Holly bit her lip. That had been hard to say. But she felt more at ease now, as though a small weight had been lifted off her chest. "Thank you."

….

It took three days for something eventful to happen.

Their journey had led them along a dirt road. Gandalf informed them that it led to a small settlement farther south that had recently been built. They would not go that far, however—Gandalf was leading them straight east.

Around noon they saw a horse-drawn wagon cresting the hill ahead of them.

The driver waved as the wagon approached. "Good day to you, sirs! Jus' transportin' some vegetables here."

Some of the dwarves waved back, nodding in greeting.

Holly took in the thick clothing and covered wagon and her eyes widened. She pushed her way over to Thorin.

"There are bandits in there," she hissed. "And disorganized ones, at that. But they still might be a threat."

Thorin frowned. "How can you be so sure?"

She sighed. "How can you not…?" She glanced at the wagon as it passed them. "I'm fairly sure they're going to try and rob us."

"I hope for our sake that you are wrong," Thorin replied, ignoring Holly's, "I'm not!" and barking a low, "Ifridî bekâr!" to the rest of the Company.

At least he was smart enough to speak in Khuzdul, so the bandits couldn't understand him. The dwarves readied their weapons and Bilbo took the cue as well, putting his hand on his sword.

Moments later, several armed men came flooding out of the wagon, weapons drawn.

"I told you…" She couldn't help but boast a little.

"Holly, stay back!" Thorin shouted, pushing her away from their attackers as he drew his sword.

There was hardly any need for that, though. The bandits had armed themselves with hardly more than clubs and daggers. Against the dwarves, the attempt at an attack was so pathetic it was almost laughable. The bandits likely patrolled this road under the guise of farmers in search of travelers to rob.

Holly heard footsteps behind her and turned just in time to see a club aimed for her head. "Oh, sh—"

She recognized Bilbo's sword as it parried the swing in time for Bofur to incapacitate the bandit with his mattock.

"Are you all right?" Bilbo asked her.

"I—ah—" she stammered, trying to calm her racing heart. She'd almost had her skull bashed in. The bandits must have posted scouts in the woods, too.

And just like that, the fight was over, with most of the attackers either unconscious or otherwise disabled.

"What do we do with this lot?" Dwalin asked, nudging one of the fallen bandits with his foot.

"Leave them," Gandalf ordered. "I do not think they will bother us again. Though it is strange, that they would attack against such great odds..."

"Is anyone hurt?" Thorin questioned, and everyone shook their heads. Again, the fight had been a ridiculously unfair one.

"Idiots," Holly remarked. "As in the bandits," she added as several heads turned at her comment. "I thought you lot did good, with the fighting…"

"Thank you." Fili nodded. The others turned back to cleaning their weapons, mollified.

Holly turned to Bilbo, feeling inexplicably nervous.

"And, um...thank you. For...that. What you did. With the, uh, bandit." She bit her lower lip.

Bilbo nodded, his expression unreadable. "You're welcome."

She wanted to say something else (though she didn't know specifically what), but the hobbit had already walked away.

"All right, let's keep going," Thorin ordered, and they began walking again.

Holly cast a glance over to where Bilbo was chatting with Bofur. A strange lightness filled her chest as she gazed at him. Things had changed between them, but she wasn't entirely sure how. She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Holly pushed the thoughts away and became aware of Thorin walking next to her in silence.

"All right, you've got questions," she prompted.

"How did you know there were bandits inside the wagon?"

"I'm surprised you didn't see it. The driver clearly wasn't a farmer; no farmer wears clothes that thick this time of year, so obviously he was concealing weapons. And vegetables? Really? He was clearly lying. People always give away too much information when they lie. And where would he have been transporting that cargo, unless his customers like rotten vegetables? It was clear he was hiding something," Holly rattled off.

Thorin was silent for a moment, digesting the information. "You have keen eyes, Miss Holly."

"No, I don't. You saw everything that I saw, you just didn't think about it. You see things, but you hardly observe at all...But I'm always glad to help," she backpedaled.

"Without your insight, we might have fared worse in the fight. You did well," Thorin acknowledged.

Holly smiled. "You're welcome."

Yay, Holly did something to help! And she'll be doing plenty more of that in the future, especially next chapter. Speaking of which, a bit of a game-changer is coming up, so be prepared!

Thanks for all the feedback so far and let me know what you think in the comments! There were also hints to a certain something...can anyone guess what?