A/N: Thank you Ebony10, NarutoTwilightFan4Ever, Nr Six, Kathiann, Foghornleghorn83, Divinia Serit, mbleiva24, Bakerlover, Sexycindi, Maliang, the Visionary Poet, Vinnie K, and everyone else for reading and reviewing :)
It was not long before Lisbon managed to get herself discharged from the hospital and on her way home. She had managed to keep the team away during her recovery at home by lying about some family member staying with her. She needed her space and even though it meant returning home, a place she no longer felt safe, alone; she would rather do that then be in the suffocating presence of Jane. She knew it would take time but she was certain she could come to grips with what happened on her own terms.
For now though she would stay in her apartment, terrified of what might happen. She had her locks changed a few extra added to her doors in an attempt to feel more secure but ultimately she didn't feel safe any more. She spent most nights sleepless with every light in her home turned on. On some level she now truly understood how Jane must feel all of the time.
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The day had finally come for Lisbon to return to work. She was uneasy with going back and being around everyone but she also knew herself well and hoped the work would take her mind off of everything. She hadn't dealt with things well on her own at home. Maybe diving into work full force would distract her enough that things would just work out on their own. Of course being back to work was going to present its own set of issues. She couldn't stand any type of pity or special consideration that she knew she would receive from Van Pelt and Rigsby. Then there was Jane, she had to find a way to keep her distance with it out being noticed. "Thank God for Cho," she thought on her way to her office. He didn't get too involved in other agents personal life and he wouldn't over react about her return. He would probable be the best person to work with for the time being.
"Hey Boss, how you doing?" Rigsby was the first to catch her before she was able to make it to the relative safety of her office.
"Good, thanks." She smiled and made eye contact, hoping her lie was believable.
"Welcome back," Cho put down his cup of coffee and smiled from behind his desk.
"Good to have you back," Van Pelt smiled kindly.
"Thanks everyone," Lisbon quickly moved toward her office. If she was just quick enough, maybe Jane won't find her yet.
"Good morning," came the brilliant smile from the blond man lounging in her office.
"Damn," she sighed to herself. "So much for that plan."
"How are you?" Jane stood up invading Lisbon's personal space.
"Fine thanks." She tried her best to look him in the eyes.
"You really shouldn't lie Lisbon. You're not any good at it." Jane's smile reappeared.
"Seriously I'm fine. I wish everyone would stop asking." The words came out a lot angrier than expect.
"We are asking because we care about you." Jane's tone was infinitely gentle, revealing the depths of his feelings.
Lisbon couldn't take it. She had to get away. The kindness in his voice was making her feel ill and she had no idea why. Acting on instinct, as she often did, she tried to brush by him and make it to the bullpen. She was stopped in her tracks by a hand on her arm.
"You're going to have to stop running." Jane whispered.
She didn't wait around long enough to hear anything else he had to say. To her relief, as she exited her office, Cho approached.
"Got a case boss," he informed her.
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After reviewing the file Lisbon divided the team up sending Rigsby and Jane off to interview a witness, Van Pelt stayed to review some banking discrepancies, and she and Cho visited the crime scene.
The investigation that day went as well as could be hoped. Lisbon managed to avoid Jane while getting the case close to closed and not being obvious. She knew avoidance wasn't going to be the ultimate answer to her problems but she needed some time.
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Lisbon left for the evening earlier than usual, which in reality was the actual time her day was supposed to end. She wasn't looking forward to going home but she needed to leave before Jane got too close again and she didn't have anywhere else to go.
Her evening routine hadn't changed significantly since her abduction. She still came home, cooked dinner, and watched television. The only differences now were the attention she paid to her locks and the fact that she would not be going to sleep tonight. Logically she knew it was ridiculous but on a deeper level she had a terrible feeling that something bad would happen if she slept. She also rationalized that staying awake was a good way to avoid any possible nightmares.
After changing from her work clothes Lisbon prepared dinner. Tonight's menu was pasta in white sauce and a pre-made salad from the grocery store. She now was actually looking forward to the quiet of an evening at home. Well, more accurately, she was looking forward to not having to be on her guard. She didn't have to worry about any of her friends noticing any of her new behaviors, especially the whole avoiding Jane thing. She was certain that he knew, he probably could tell she hadn't slept in days too. She was grateful though that he chose not to press the issue too much with her thus far.
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Across town Jane was snacking on some popcorn while stretched out on his CBI couch. He had a lot to think about and the office was just the place to do it. He unconsciously glanced over in the direction of Lisbon's office. He had to talk to her. Something was wrong and He knew she wouldn't open up to anyone about it. He was concerned for both her well being and for the rest of team. He knew the lack of sleep and her responses to him could put the team in danger or even worse, she could make a mistake that would cost her this job. He refused to let that happen.
In the hospital he had been somewhat hurt by her reactions to him. It felt eerily similar to when she admitted she didn't trust him. Since then though he realized that this had to be connected to what had happened to her. He wasn't entirely certain Lisbon knew why she was reacting the way she was but he was certain it was linked to Red John. He was now starting to understand what the note meant. Jane found it some what shocking that Red John was able to have this type of effect. His newly acquired knowledge of pharmaceuticals and human manipulation definitely changes his profile.
The more he thought about the situation the more determined he became. Red John thought he could really ruin Jane and Lisbon's relationship by using some drugs and brain washing. He really did underestimate Jane.
This situation had to be remedied and tomorrow would be just as good of a time as any. There wasn't much left to finish with the case. Once it was closed he would approach her. He needed to talk to her without her brushing him off and running away even if it meant a confrontation of sorts. He was going to get her to open up to him one way or another. It was the only way to help her through this and get everything back to normal again.