Chapter 10

Sophie watched Nate leave the room carrying his bottle of whiskey. She got up and went straight to Eliot's room. Unsurprisingly she found him wide awake and waiting for her.

"He's remembering?" Eliot asked as she knocked softly then stepped into the room. "I heard the scream but thought it best to leave you too alone." He explained.

"Yes…about Sam. Eliot he is so angry and confused and…and scared." Sophie said looking lost and hopeless herself. Eliot stood and wrapped an arm around her.

"He'll get through this…he's not alone, not like he was before." Eliot said his voice instilling some confidence in Sophie but not quite belaying her fears.

"Of course we will…" She said weakly pulling back from his embrace. "I'll go get Parker and Hardison, he wants to talk now. Why don't you go through so long…I don't want to leave him on his own for too long…he's…he's drinking and…"

"I'll go…you go get the others." Eliot said following her out of the room. He took a deep breath and headed to where Nate was waiting for them. He found him sitting in the darkened room with a full glass of whiskey in his hand and the now half empty bottle standing beside him on the table, he had not even bothered to replace the lid after pouring his glass. Eliot watched him for a brief moment then headed into the kitchen to make coffee. Nate watched him go without acknowledging his presence.

The others filed into the room a few minutes later. Eliot nodded at them as they entered and offered them all tea or coffee. He also looked at Nate who raised his glass to him in response.

"Don't you think you should be sober for this man?" Eliot asked ignoring the withering look Nate threw at him in response. He shrugged his shoulders but continued to make the coffee for all of them. He walked over to Nate and silently placed a full cup of the hot liquid next to him. Nate just looked at him and took another sip of the amber liquid he was holding.

"OK…I want it all, everything…no happy little stories, no lies, no double talk…just the hard cold truth." Nate said as they all seated themselves around him. "You can start with my son."

"We don't know the whole story…" Sophie started only to be interrupted by Nate.

"I said no lies…no sweet talk…no edited versions." Nate said angrily the whiskey he had already consumed, along with the fear of what he was about to hear fueling his anger.

"She is telling you the truth man." Eliot said his voice soft yet conveying a threat to Nate. "Now either you let us tell it or you don't."

"Fine…" Nate said sitting back in his seat and staring at Sophie as she continued.

"We DON"T know the whole story. Only what we heard and what you told us." Sophie stared again then took a deep breath before continuing. "Sam, your son, got sick when he was about 6 years old. He had cancer…I don't know what type. He went into remission for a short time but when the cancer returned it was very aggressive." She stopped again. That was the easy part. That was the acceptable, if you could call it that, part. Now she had to tell him the hard part, the part he always blamed himself for. "You found a possible cure, or at least a treatment that could help him. You were working for a man named Ian Blackpoole at the time…IYS Insurance." Again she stopped giving Nate time to digest the information. Nate had stopped drinking. His glass was held loosely in his hand as he concentrated on what she was saying. "You asked IYS to pay out an insurance policy you had in order to pay for the treatment…but they…they refused to pay. They said the treatment was experimental and that…well they just refused to pay and…and Sam…" Sophie halted her tale, emotion suddenly overwhelming her.

"He died." Nate said softly. He drained his glass again and looked at each of them in turn. "Did I do anything…ANYTHING to save him…I mean…I had the ability to get the money some other way didn't I? You all have told me about how I retrieved paintings and artwork worth millions…"Nate asked softly, he was not asking them so much as himself. He was trying to reconcile the fact that his son had died because he did not have the money to save him but here he sat with more money than he knew what to do with, all obtained by illegal means…could he not have obtained the funds to save his son in the same way.

"You were a good guy Nate…you followed the rules…you were an honest man…" Eliot said in response to Nate. "You could not steal to save him. You believed that IYS would pay out, but they didn't…it wasn't your fault."

'Why the hell not…? Can you tell me that…he was my SON…my SON dammit? Why can I steal now, I can be the criminal now when it only benefits me…but I couldn't do it to save my only SON?' Nate said with such venom in his voice that they all cringed. The anger was not directed at them but himself and they knew it, but still the force of the self-hatred permeated the room sending a chill up all of their spines. Nate stood from his seat walking to the window and stared out into the darkness. He shook his head slightly and composed himself before turning back to the group. "What else…there is more…what else… tell me!" He demanded.

The others watched as he walked back to his seat and sat down heavily in the chair. Taking the bottle from the table he did not even bother pouring the liquid into a glass he merely raised the bottle to his lips and took a deep drink. The action reminded Sophie of the time just after they had come together when he had brought them in for their first real job as a team. They had come so far from then…now, now they were back where they had started those five years ago.

"Nate maybe…maybe you should…"

"Don't Sophie, you are going to tell me everything…I need to know everything now. Who else have I injured, killed, hurt in some way…huh…tell me." Nate said looking at each of them in turn but not really seeing them. He closed his eyes and saw the pale still body of his son lying in a hospital bed. He heard his own screams in his mind and closed his eyes tighter trying to shut it out. At that moment another memory surfaced, a memory of an explosion, images of his father flashed before him. Then images of Maggie; of another hospital room; another death and another loss – was he responsible for that too? Suddenly he was overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the flashbacks he was having, image after image invaded his mind as his memories flooded back. The memory of Sam had been the catalyst and now everything was coming back in waves. It was like a sick movie show playing in his mind, a horror film with death and destruction.

The others remained silent as they watched Nate cringe in his seat then bend forward with his hands covering his face. It seemed to them he was trying to block out some horrible sight. Eliot had no doubt he was and he knew he was not going to succeed. None of them moved. None of them spoke, they just watched as Nate fell apart before them. They did not know how long it was before Nate finally looked up at them. His eyes were dead, his face streaked with tears he had silently shed. He stood shakily almost falling. Sophie moved to help him but then stopped as he gave her a glaring look daring her to touch him.

"My father, my wife and my son…you should have told me…You had no right to keep it from me…" Nate slurred the whiskey and the emotion taking its toll on him.

"Nate…we would have told you…we just thought that you needed time…we…"

"You what, hoped I would never remember that I was responsible for the deaths of my family, amongst others…that I would never remember who I really was…the bastard I really was. Well sorry…I remember everything, including what I was doing in that town you found me in." A terrible tiredness settled over Nate as he stood staring at them.

"You are only remembering the bad…what about the good…what about us…what about your family?" Parker asked softly, she too had tears in her eyes.

"I don't deserve a family…" Nate muttered softly. Then looking up directly at Parker he added a sentence that hurt her more than anything in the world. "I don't want a family!" He said as he took the bottle and staggered back to his room leaving the four of them reeling from his final words.

Wow that was an emotional chapter to write…I hope you all enjoyed it. This is not going well for the team or Nate…I will try and post the next chapter as soon as I can. Again thanks for all the reviews and keep them coming.