"What are you thinking?" Eli asked, breaking the silence that filled the car as they drove to Dr. Irvington's office.
She turned to him and looked at his profile view, trying to hide the happiness that filled her chest and turned back to look out the window, "I'm thinking… I want to make a detour."
He raised an eyebrow, "A detour? To where?"
"The public library. There's some things I want to read up on."
"Am I allowed to know what these things are?"
"I guess you'll find out when we get there." she smirked and continued to watch out the cold glass, staring up at the tall buildings of Toronto. Living their her entire life, she'd never gotten used to the tall, cold metal buildings. Everything about the city was so concrete, and for reasons unknown, that saddened her. She remembered the city in Alice's visions, and it was so much more beautiful back then. She let out a small sigh with memories of her past life in her mind, and closed her eyes, leaning against the cold glass of the window while they drove to the library.
"Okay, so what exactly is it we're looking for?" Eli's voice spoke from behind her as Clare made her way down each section of the library. She let her fingers trace across the frames of the books as she read them, carefully looking for something that would pertain to what she was looking for."Ah!" She made a sound of excitement as she found the section she was looking for and pulled out a heavy book. She continued to look around and pulled out several books."Really Clare?" He asked with a chuckle but grabbed the pile of books from her. He held them for her and continued to as she grabbed more and continued to build the pile up.
"Come on," she commanded, "Let's go sit at a table."
They sat at a table in the corner of the library, secluded from the other people who sat around them, and Clare began to read the books vigorously Eli was never one to be able to sit in silence. He tired to fill the time with helping Clare read, but ended up getting side tracked by her beauty. Not even since her past life had she changed much. He could recall countless hours sitting in the sun, just watching her as she read. She was one of the most intelegant people he'd ever met and he doubted that would ever change. She could recite most famous plays, when she was Alice, with ease because she'd read them so many times. And here she was, replaying the memory before him and she couldn't help but noticed his gleaming smile from the corner of her eye and looked up at
"What?" she asked and blushed, letting her hair fall in front of her face.
He shook his head and grabbed one of the books from their mountain high pile. He flipped through the book before him, not really seeing any of the pages. After countless minutes of silence that almost tore Eli apart, Clare finally spoke.
"Here… listen to this," she said and pulled a different book from beside the one in front of her. She flipped it open to a page she had ,marked and then read, "Reincarnation is believed to occur when the soul or spirit, after the death of the body, comes back to life in a newborn body. This phenomenon is also known as transmigration of the soul or metempsychosis."
"Okay, so?" Eli asked, confusion clear on his face.
"So that would mean that our souls were in William and Alice's before they were in ours."
"I already knew that." He smirked and leaned forward against the table, pushing his face closer to hers with a smirk on his face.
She tilted her head to the side and smiled in reply, and as he tried to move his face closer, she raised her hand up and pushed it against his face.
"Ooooo, denied." he chuckled and sat back in his chair, "Fine, what else did you discover?"
"Why don't you tell me some more of what you already know?" she raised and eyebrow and closed the book in front of her.
"Well," he began and scooted forward, resting his elbows on the table, "It's said that those you've done wrong in a past life will come back to get you in your next life, even without knowing."
"Sorta like Karma?"
"Exactly, So if a woman accidentally caused a car accident and another man involved dies…"
"He must have done something to wrong her in a past life…" Clare finished his sentence, fascination dancing over her face.
Eli nodded and sat back, "At least that's what they."
Clare let this note of knowledge fill her brain, "So why are we sent back to a new life?"
Eli shrugged, "Depends on what life lesson is still needed to be learned. You keep coming back until you get it right. Your soul remembers everything, no matter what."
"Only your mind doesn't." She stated.
"Well think about it, We have virtually no conscious recollection of even this current life. Most people are unable to recall 99% of the events of the life they're living now. Do you remember being born? Or your first few birthdays? Even what you had for lunch about a week ago? How about even the last conversation you had with someone, word for word, exactly? And most people forget about 50 percent of their dreams, five minutes after they have them anyways." Eli's eyes became very serious as he spoke, "Plus, it's a good thing most people don't remember past lives. Half the people these days can't even handle the ghosts of their present lives. To have to carry the ghosts of your past lives would be complete torture."
Clare watched as a dark frown covered Eli's usually light and calm face, "What about you? Have any ghosts in your past life?"
He looked at her and shook his head, the smile soon over taking him and he chuckled, "Nope. Only one beautiful girl who made it five hundred times worth living. If it's possible, I'll relive every life I ever have with you."
"But what if in a different life, we're put onto the earth a million miles away?" she asked curiously.
"Before you met me, you were drawn to me weren't you?"
She nodded.
"It's because there's a natural pull between us. Like an invisible thread, braided from my body to yours. Admit it, even now with only a few feet in between us, you feel yourself being pulled towards me."
She looked down at her hands on the table and nodded, trying to hide the pink that was rushing to her cheeks.
"I think that no matter where we are put on this world, you and I will always have this pull and we'll always find each other because our bodies will lead us there."
She smiled in reply to his words, but the look of sadness that had covered his face never left her mind. Not even as they got up and left for Dr. Irvington's office.
The time spent at Dr. Irvington's office was very unproductive. Of course she stood behind Eli's words by 100% and even pulled out old family pictures of him and her and his dad for more proof. Of course it made her feel a million times worse about her actions before. She even talked to her a little bit more about reincarnation, but in the end it wasn't much more help and she didn't learn much else other than she jumped to conclusions much too easy.
Eli came home with her that night, much to her parents surprise. Her mom did seem sort of pleased though. After the slump Clare had seemed to have fallen into, it was nice for her to see her happy again.
"Eli's just coming up to hang out for a little while." she said as the two of them made their way through the living room, hand in hand.
Clare's mom smiled and nodded, "Leave the door open."
Clare only rolled her eyes in embarrassment, and continued to her room.
"Oh how cute, they don't trust us together." Eli chuckled and pushed the door all the way open, leaving it there.
"Would you?"
He smiled wide, his eyes scrunched up and stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed, "You're just biased though. I'm sure to your parents, we only look like two lust hungry, in love teenagers."
Clare smiled and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she looked into her eyes, "But aren't we?"
"Clare Edwards, you severely underestimate my love for you." he placed his hands on her hips and pulled their bodies together.
"And you I, Eli." she chuckled and leaned up, kissing him.
"How did I make it this far without you?" He asked in a whisper as he rubbed the tips of their noses softly together from side to side.
"That's a good question," she smiled, "Did you ever have anyone before me?"
She could feel his body tense slightly against her and she pulled back slightly, "I'm gonna take that as a yes?"
He nodded, "It meant nothing though."
She could feel a wave of jealousy wash over her and for some reason she couldn't bring common sense to her mind. Of course he wouldn't have waited for her forever, even she hadn't. But she still couldn't fight the jealousy that filled her mind.
"What about you?" He asked with eyebrow raised, "Have you loved before?"
She shook her head, "No, of course I've never loved anyone but you."
"You know what I mean." he chuckled.
"I've had a boyfriend of course, and crushes."
"Hmm, a boyfriend huh? Who was it? Anyone I know?"
She put her head down and spoke quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear, "K.C."
"K.C.?" he asked in disbelief, "Wow, I wouldn't figure the jock guy to be your type."
"He wasn't… he isn't." She sighed, "Ugh, let's just stopped. I'm definitely ashamed. But what about you? Who was this other girl?"
Again, his body became stiff and he sighed, "Her name was Julia."
"Pretty name." Clare mumbled.
"She was pretty." he nodded, "But nowhere as beautiful as you."
"Right. And what happened?"
He sighed and a long pause of silence filled the room.
"Eli…?"
"She's dead."
Clare couldn't think of a thing to reply, that had caught her off guard.
He began to explain, "It was an accident."
"You don't have to talk to me about it." She whispered.
"No, it's alright, because it was an accident." He spoke.
"…what happened?"
He took her hand and led her to her bed where he laid back and pulled her body against his. They laid there together and he continued to tell the story.
"We got in a fight that night, over… something really stupid and not important. We yelled, fought, said things we didn't mean of course and she took off on her bike in the night. It was pouring rain, and begged her to stay or let me give her a ride, but she wouldn't. I couldn't talk any sense into her, and she left. I stood there for a good ten minutes, hating myself completely for letting her go. I was so mad, and angry with myself of course, so I did the first thing that came to mind. I got into Morty, and went to find her. The road was slippery, and it was just…"
He stopped and she could tell this story was hard for him to tell. She put her fingers on his lips and shook her head, "You don't have to go on."
"I hit her, Clare." He said and the sadness was heavy on his voice.
Clare could feel her heart stop. A knot clogged her throat and she had to swallow multiple times to clear it enough to speak without her voice cracking.
"Eli… I'm so sorry…"
"It's alright. It was an accident. I wasn't charged because her parents considered me a part of the family and stuff but still… I felt like I should have at least been punished a little bit. But I wasn't. And here I am, laying with the most beautiful girl in the world, and have become the luckiest guy in the world, though I've taken someone's life."
"Eli, it was an accident," Clare spoke, trying her hardest to make him happy again, "It's not like you meant to do it, so of course you deserve to be happy! You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I mean, if it was an accident… maybe she did something to you in your past life?"
For a third time, Eli's body tensed up. Of course she noticed it more this time now that her body was laying beside his.
"I have to go." he said and softly moved her body from his. She looked at him with confused eyes as he stood up.
"What?" she asked with a pout and watched as he turned around and bent down to kiss her softly.
"Nothing, it's just getting late and I'm sure your parents don't want to have to worry about us all night." He chuckled and stood back up, "I'll see you tomorrow at school."
"Alright." she nodded, the pout still on her face, "See you tomorrow."
And then she watched him leave.