'THOUGHTS'

LINEBREAKS=CHANGE OF SCENE/POV

Chapter Ten

Sarutobi couldn't believe what he was hearing. Naruto had always spoken of his dream to be a great shinobi. It used to be impossible to mention anything even remotely shinobi related without the child exploding into excitement.

Not to mention that the boy was the son of one of the greatest shinobi ever produced by Konoha and a Jinchuuriki to boot.

"Wh-what?!" Sarutobi managed to choke out.

"I'm. Not. Interested." Naruto punctuated each word.

How could this happen? What could change the boy he thought of as a grandson so much? But then, he already knew the answer to that.

The mistreatment at the orphanage; the threats insults and cold indifference he received on the streets; the torture he received in the Hitode incident; the betrayal during the Sanada incident that Naruto never really got over, despite his claims to the contrary; Nezumi's assassination attempt, and Sarutobi's decision to cover it up. All of these things added up for the six-year-old in front of him.

So really, why should the boy want to fight, kill, and possibly die for the village responsible for all of his suffering?

Sarutobi knew all of this, but it didn't make the sense of shock, the disappointment -in himself- or the slight trace of fear any less present. Nor did the knowledge make Naruto's refusal any easier to stomach.

"I understand." Sarutobi sighed tiredly, suddenly feeling very old indeed.

After a moment of silence, Sarutobi collected the sheets and placed them back in the folder, standing to his feet as he did so. "Perhaps next year then," he said without much hope.

"Maybe," Naruto responded flatly.

Somewhat heartened by the fact that Naruto didn't flat out refuse, Sarutobi turned to go. Remembering something, he paused just outside the kitchen. Turning back, he said, "I almost forgot, my daughter is pregnant. She'll be having the baby in a few months."

He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't for Naruto to blink owlishly before hesitantly stating, "Congratulations?" as if unsure how he was supposed to respond.

Smiling slightly, Sarutobi left the apartment.

Naruto watched silently as the Old Man left, while in a distant part of his mind a small voice wondered, "How does the baby get inside the mom anyway?"

Shaking himself to get rid of his tension, Naruto turned to Yoshino and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

Yoshino smiled and stood, heading for the living room. "Just let me wake up Shikamaru, and we'll both have a cup," she said with a smile.

Naruto grimaced at that. He had almost forgotten that the little brat was there, probably drooling on his couch.

He watched as Yoshino bent down to, presumably, shake the boy awake. A moment later, she returned with the small boy walking this time, allowing Naruto to get a look at him. The boy had black hair, unlike his mother, though he did have the same dark eyes. His hair was gathered in a ponytail that made his head look like a pineapple, and he had a bored, sleepy look in his eyes.

"Kaa-san… why do I have to meet this crazy guy?" Shikamaru drawled.

'Crazy?' Naruto thought with a twitch.

Before Yoshino could say anything, Naruto retorted with, "What's the matter kid? Are we interrupting your nap time?"

Shikamaru turned bored eyes onto Naruto. "As a matter of fact, yes, you are."

Naruto blinked at that. 'Well, that was unexpected.'

"I told you, Shikamaru, he's not crazy. And you have to meet him because you don't have any friends and I thought you two could play together for the day," Yoshino stated in a slightly angry voice. "And what have I told you about judging people?" she punctuated this question with a slight tap to her son's head.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered as he rubbed at his head.

Naruto watched the scene with no small amount of amusement. 'Serves that punk right for calling me crazy like I wasn't standing right in front of him.' He mentally chuckled.

"Now Shikamaru, why don't you two play a game of Shogi?" Yoshino suggested cheerfully.

"Why do I have to play with him?" Naruto/Shikamaru asked/drawled.

"Well, aren't you tired of just playing with me, Naruto? And Shikamaru, aren't you always complaining that there's no one your age that plays Shogi?" she explained.

"I'm not his age, Yoshino. Besides, I'd rather play against someone who can count higher than ten," Naruto rebutted.

"Troublesome. You're only two years older than me Uzumaki-san. And as for the counting comment, isn't that a little childish?" Shikamaru drawled tiredly. "Kaa-san, he's probably not any good at Shogi anyway. Can we just go back home?"

Naruto felt his eye twitch even more at that. "Hey! Stop talking like I'm not here, you thumb sucking toddler!"

"Whatever…" Shikamaru yawned.

Growling, Naruto grabbed the little baby by the arm and dragged him into the living room. "You think you're so smart huh? Well let's see how cocky you are after I beat you!" he declared as he set up the Shogi board on the floor. Sitting on the floor, Naruto graciously offered to let Shikamaru go first. "Not that it'll make any difference."

Shikamaru didn't respond, simply moving one of his pieces.

Moving one of his own Naruto asked with a grin, "Can you see the board okay, or do you need a booster seat?"

Shikamaru just sighed, "You know, you're kind of immature for someone who's supposed to be so much older than me."

Neither boy paid much attention to Yoshino as she watched over their game from the couch, notebook and pen in hand.

Five minutes later, Shikamaru laid a piece down and declared, "Checkmate."

Naruto just stared at the board for a moment, and then snarled, "You cheated!"

Shikamaru snorted, "I didn't have to cheat, you left all of your defenses wide open. I'm going to get some tea. If you reset the board, we can play again."

"You're damn right we're gonna play again! And this time, I won't go so easy on you!"

Ten minutes later, Shikamaru placed a piece on the board and drawled, "Checkmate."

Eye twitching, Naruto growled, "Again."

Twelve minutes later, Naruto all but slammed a piece down and declared, "Check!"

Shikamaru didn't even bother looking at the board as he moved a piece and retorted, "Checkmate."

"Rematch." Naruto ground out.

And so it continued for the rest of the day, with the two boys slowly exchanging words in greater frequency as the games went on.

As the sun began to set, the two were staring fiercely at the board…well Naruto was. Shikamaru's stare was one of muted excitement.

After a few more minutes, Naruto moved a piece slowly across the board, pausing when it reached it's destination.

After another minute, Shikamaru asked absently, "Is that your move?"

"Is my hand still on the piece?" Naruto replied just as absently.

Finally, after another minute, Naruto removed his hand and left the piece where it lay.

Shikamaru nodded as he looked over the board, murmuring, "Nice move."

A second later, Shikamaru added, "But not enough." Moving one of his own pieces he stated, "Checkmate."

Before Naruto could ask for another rematch, Yoshino walked over to them.

"Sorry boys, but it's time for Shikamaru-chan and me to go home," she said as she picked up the empty teacups from beside the boys.

"Already?" Shikamaru drawled in annoyance.

"Yes, you still need to eat supper, take a bath, and then get ready for bed Shikamaru-chan," Yoshino explained as she reentered the room.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered as he rose from the floor and followed his mother to the door.

Naruto sighed and followed them. While he had been able to make the games last longer, he hadn't won a single match against the younger boy. Still, he had quite a bit of fun, despite his irritation.

After Naruto exchanged goodbyes with Yoshino, Shikamaru said, "We should play again sometime, Uzumaki-san. You're an alright player."

Naruto stared at the boy for a minute. He wasn't really sure what to make of the younger boy. He was obviously a lot smarter than he looked, or maybe just insanely good at Shogi.

After a moment of consideration, Naruto nodded and said, "Sure, and you can call me Naruto."

Shikamaru nodded and followed his mother out the door.

Finding himself alone again, Naruto decided to make something to eat before the latest in a long line of "babysitters" arrived.

Walking down the stairs in silence, Yoshino thought about how the day had gone. It had taken close to an hour before the two boys really started talking, but once they had "broken the ice" so to speak, they had had a number of conversations.

Smiling down at her son as they crossed the street, she squeezed his hand, thinking of how alike the two boys were.

Both were far too mature for their ages, though for different reasons. Naruto due to the tragedies in his life, and Shikamaru due to his increased intelligence.

Neither of them had any friends either. Though in Naruto's case, that was due to lack of a desire for friends. Shikamaru on the other hand, found children his own age to be, for the lack of a better word, "too stupid."

"Kaa-san, is this alright?" Shikamaru asked, breaking her out of her train of thought.

"What do you mean, Shikamaru-chan?" she asked curiously.

"You using me as a tool in one of your patient's therapy?" he clarified.

Yoshino stared at him in surprise. "I'm not using you Shikamaru-chan. Both you and Naruto-kun have trouble making friends, so I decided to help you two along. That's a mother's job too, you know."

Shikamaru remained silent for a moment before asking in a quiet voice, "What happened to him?"

She sighed sadly and said, "You know I can't tell you that. But, suffice to say, life has not been kind to Naruto-kun."

They walked on in silence for another minute or two before Shikamaru spoke again. "I like him. We should visit him more often."

Yoshino smiled at that. "Really? I thought you said he was troublesome?"

Shikamaru just shrugged. "He is, and he's not very mature for someone who insists on pointing out younger kid's ages. But he's kind of interesting, and he's not that bad a Shogi player."

Yoshino's smile grew as she let go of Shikamaru's hand to wrap her arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to her. "I'm proud of you, Shikamaru-chan."

"Troublesome…" he drawled as he leaned his head against her side and yawned.

Naruto sighed as that night's "babysitter" finally left his apartment. Really, you'd think the Old Man would take the hint and stop sending them after all this time.

Yawning, Naruto sat on his couch and stared at the unfinished book he had been reading. Letting his mind wander, Naruto thought about what he would do now that he had finally mastered the Henge.

Sure he could now travel the village as he desired. But other than to visit the library and Ichiraku's, he didn't really desire to leave his apartment.

So what could he do in the apartment to advance his training? All that he had left among the scrolls he had taken from the Sanadas could be divided into two groups.

One group was made up of various theories on chakra, though there weren't any real exercises, just some vague mentions of some Suna string technique.

Naruto had taken these theories and tried to recreate the "strings" with little success. No surprise really, seeing as how the only chakra control exercise he had to work with was the leaf floating exercise.

He had attempted to use the leaf floating idea to try to find a way to hold something with just his chakra. The idea being that once he could get something to stick, he could try to increase the distance until he could grab something from several feet away.

Unfortunately, while he could get things to stick, he hadn't had any luck in increasing the distance. He had to have actual physical contact in order to make it work.

It wasn't a complete loss however, as his attempts had both increased his chakra control and taught him a new trick. It had happened when he was pacing around his apartment - still trying to extend the distance he could hold something with his chakra - when the hand he was using brushed one of the walls.

Naruto had continued walking for a moment before he realized he couldn't move his hand. When he had seen his hand stuck to the wall, he ceased his experiment. The moment he did that, his hand came free from the wall. Curious, Naruto again placed his hand against the wall at about shoulder height, and focused his chakra on holding to the wall. After a moment, he tugged his arm to try to remove his hand. Only to find that he couldn't.

Frowning, Naruto had then tugged even harder, with no noticable difference. This intrigued Naruto, so he furthered his investigation by using his "chakra grip" as leverage and lifted his entire body off the floor. To his surprise, his chakra held him aloft. From there, he had used his other hand and "gripped" the wall a little higher up. Then he released his first hand and continued reaching up.

A few moments later, Naruto found himself hanging several feet off the floor by his hands. Swinging himself from side to side for a second, Naruto glanced from the top of the wall to the ceiling and then to his hands.

After chewing his lip for a second, Naruto moved one hand from the wall to the ceiling before following suit with the other hand. Then while hanging from the ceiling, Naruto hand walked back and forth across the room several times before climbing back down the wall.

The only downside that he noticed was that all of his weight had been supported by his shoulders. Other than that, it was a useful trick for climbing and it had helped his chakra control slightly.

The second group of scrolls were also mostly theory based, though on a different subject. Genjutsu. Naruto hadn't looked through them too deeply outside of the Bunshin jutsu for one reason; the theories in those scrolls had validated the Old Man's story, even if only in the most general of senses.

One of the things Naruto had read before abandoning those scrolls had been the purposes of Genjutsu. More specifically, the "make people see what isn't there" aspect.

That of course had been far too close to what the Old Man had told him. So he had ignored those scrolls for the past couple of years. Now though, with his training options now extremely limited, Naruto was forced to consider looking through them.

Naruto growled in anger. The simple fact of the matter was that Genjutsu opened up some very much unhealed wounds.

Another simple fact was that he didn't have any other options. He had no idea if any of the scrolls in the Sanadas' house were still there, or if they had been moved or even confiscated by the Old Man. And even if they hadn't, even if they were still sitting on those shelves in the study collecting dust, Naruto wasn't even sure he could bear returning to that house.

Running a hand through his hair, Naruto rose from his couch and headed for his bedroom. Perhaps after a night of sleep he'd be able to make a decision.

Meanwhile, halfway across the village, Sarutobi was sitting alone in his darkened office. A desk lamp his only source of light. He was gazing at a picture frame held lovingly in his hand.

The picture that held his attention was one taken nearly four years ago, depicting himself and a still innocent Naruto eating ice cream together.

Sarutobi did nothing to stop the tears that slowly dripped down his face, even as he smiled at the image of the shy, yet happy child Naruto once was. Beneath that melancholic smile, he felt a deep-seated pain in his heart, a feeling that he had felt before. First, when his beloved wife died, then when he had watched his son leave the village, and again when he had learned of Orochimaru's fall.

Now he felt the pain of losing his grandson. Ever since that cursed night in the hospital, Naruto had been lost to him. Yet despite his best efforts, Sarutobi had been unable to close the gulf that had opened between them.

Perhaps worst of all was knowing that Naruto didn't just hate him, Naruto feared him. And for all his vaunted knowledge, Sarutobi just couldn't seem to fix this.

Yoshino had insisted that time was needed for Naruto to heal, to sort out his life. But even after two years of therapy and two years of peace and safety, Naruto had seemingly made little progress where Sarutobi was involved.

'Is there anything I could have done differently?' Sarutobi wondered depressingly.

Of course, this wasn't the first time he'd asked himself that. The answer was yes, he could have acted differently. Knowing what he did now, of course he would have. If he could go back in time, Sarutobi would have taken Naruto in from the beginning and he would have kept Naruto's status a secret from everyone but his students.

But, that was the problem. He didn't known then what he does now. Every time he made a decision concerning Naruto, he had done what he thought best for both Naruto and Konoha.

So how did everything go so horribly wrong?

Before he could try to answer himself, he sensed a presence enter his office that he hadn't felt in six years.

"What brings you here, Jiraiya-kun?" Sarutobi asked calmly.

"Is that him?" Jiraiya asked neutrally as he stepped from the shadows.

Sarutobi smiled bitterly at the photo. "It was him."

"What do you mean?" his wayward student asked in alarm.

"The boy in this photo is all but dead. Murdered by the very people that he saved all those years ago, and that he continues to protect to this day," Sarutobi said tiredly.

"I'm not in the mood for your word games, Sensei," Jiraiya ground out.

Sarutobi ignored his student's tone. "I take it you haven't come for Naruto. So, for what purpose have you come here?"

Apparently, Jiraiya picked up on the pain in his voice because he asked, "Sensei, what's wrong? What did you mean about Naruto?"

Sarutobi closed his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "If you had met the child in this photo, then you wouldn't recognize the boy he is today." Finding the photo too painful to look at any longer, Sarutobi placed it back in the drawer he kept it in and turned to face Jiraiya. "Report."

"I haven't been able to find any trace of Orochimaru since I lost him in Tea Country," Jiraiya said with a grimace. "Although I have heard rumors about an organization that he may have, or may be considering joining."

That caught Sarutobi's attention. "What's known about this organization?" he asked.

"Not much," Jiraiya sighed. "Just rumors that Sasori of the Red Sands might be a member. I'm having my spies look into it."

"So, Orochimaru may be joining an organization that may boast another S rank missing-nin in their ranks," Sarutobi mused. "Anything else?"

Jiraiya shook his head. "Nothing that hasn't been included in my other reports."

"Very well." Sarutobi sighed as he tiredly dragged himself to his feet. When Jiraiya didn't leave, Sarutobi asked, "What is it?"

Jiraiya fidgeted slightly before trying ask nonchalantly, "So how is he?"

"That depends," Sarutobi stated bitterly. "If he were a spy or a war veteran, then he'd be just fine jumping at shadows, distrusting his few allies and awaiting the next assassination attempt. But he's not a spy or veteran is he? He's a six year old boy who has no friends, no family, and is surrounded by a sea of hostility and indifference."

Jiraiya flinched slightly. "But he'll be starting the academy soon right? Surely he'll improve around friends his own age?"

"No, Jiraiya. Naruto no longer has any interest in becoming a ninja." Sarutobi answered grimly.

"But you said that he'd been practicing some low level techniques on his own!" Jiraiya spluttered. "That he was improving his chakra control an-"

"Oh, he is doing all of that, Jiraiya." Sarutobi interrupted. "In fact it seems he's done even more than that. Just yesterday, he somehow managed to leave his apartment building twice without be seen or detected by the Anbu. And he somehow managed to return to the building both times without the Anbu's knowledge."

"Yet despite all of that, he refused to join the academy." Sarutobi finished with a sigh.

"But why would he-" Jiraiya attempted to ask before Sarutobi interrupted him yet again.

"You know exactly why, Jiraiya. The boy wants nothing to do with becoming a ninja of Konoha, and I can't say that I blame him. As for his training, I would think that would be obvious. He's preparing to defend himself from Konoha." "Or to strike back against it" went unsaid.

Jiraiya stayed silent for a minute after that before asking, "What are we going to do about it?"

Sarutobi leveled a glare at his student. "We will do nothing. I will attempt to save the boy before it's too late."

"Now wait a minute-" Jiraiya began angrily before Sarutobi interrupted yet again.

"No, Jiraiya. You've been rather insistent on having nothing to do with Naruto for the last six years. Your interference now would only exacerbate matters."

"I'm his Godfather!" Jiraiya growled in outrage.

"Since when?" Sarutobi shouted back. "You're his Godfather in name only, Jiraiya, and barely that! You don't get to run from your responsibilities for more than half a decade, and then decide to try and claim the child you abandoned!"

Sarutobi watched his student recoil as if struck. "You had your chance, Jiraiya. You turned it down. You made your choice, now you'll have to deal with it. Or do you really think you can just walk up to Naruto and claim to be his Godfather?"

Turning his back on him, Sarutobi stared out the window at the quarter moon and sighed when he felt his student vanish from his office. He imagined that he would receive several complaints about a peeping tom before the night was done. More than likely, Jiraiya would be long gone by morning as well.

Sarutobi was right on both counts.

AN: There you have it. I hope you enjoyed it.

I don't really hate Jiraiya, but I lose a lot of respect for him. In my culture, when a close friend asks you to be the godparent of their child, they're basically asking, "Hey, if my spouse and I die, I want you to be the one to look after, provide for, protect, and raise my child." not, "Hey, if my spouse and I die, I want you to be the one to look after, provide for, protect, and raise my child, so long as it's convenient for you." Now granted, there are some legitimate reasons why Jiraiya couldn't personally raise Naruto that get mentioned in many fics. That he had to run a spy network being one of the more acceptable reasons why he couldn't personally look after Naruto. The whole, it was too painful for Jiraiya to remain in Konoha/around Naruto, or that he wasn't qualified to raise a child, or that it was too dangerous for him to be linked to Naruto because people might make the connection between Naruto and Minato, are not acceptable reasons. And if Jiraiya wasn't willing to do all of the things a godfather is supposed to do, then he shouldn't have agreed to be Naruto's godfather. The guy didn't even personally see to Naruto's placement with a trusted adoptive family, nor did he ever come back to visit the kid. If Sarutobi can take the time to visit Naruto without putting the kid in danger, then Jiraiya certainly could have. All Jiraiya did was drop the whole thing on Sarutobi and take off. Even in Canon, I don't think anyone ever actually told Naruto that Jiraiya was his godfather, nor do I remember anyone in Konoha actually telling Naruto anything about his parents.

The next update will be sometime in the first week of December. As always, all reviews, criticisms, suggestions, etc are welcome.

Peace, Vaan.