A/N: Hello! We're getting there aren't we? Soon this will all be finished :) Thanks again for the reviews and support. They will carry me to the end of this story!
So this is a big one... Word wise and story wise.
I hope you enjoy it.
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Chapter 10: The Tenth year
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For the first few months of the new year, Emily had really tried to date. She'd gone out with friends in bars, she'd registered on one of those dating website and she'd even flirted at the supermarket. She'd gotten a handful of numbers and had gone on a few dates, but it had all been to no avail.
She'd tried to broaden her horizons, she'd tried not to judge any of those girls, but she just hadn't been quite good at it. Every woman she'd gone out with had seemed to have a little something wrong. If they didn't have the annoying habit of biting their nails then they had a weird laugh and if they didn't have exceptionally small ears than they had comically large chins. The truth was, Emily was a much more horrible human being than she thought she was. Or perhaps it just turned out that she fancied Naomi a lot more than she thought she did and that was a problem.
Well, it wasn't a problem in the way that Emily didn't actually think there was something wrong with liking Naomi, but she had to admit that as far as crushes went the blonde just wasn't the easiest person to fancy. Sure she was smart and funny and ridiculously gorgeous and sure Emily felt like they had always had this instantaneous connection, but she was also on the other side of the Atlantic. And as far as the brunette knew, Naomi had no intention of coming back to England permanently.
And that was just the tip of the iceberg. Emily remembered very clearly that Naomi had always described herself as the kind of person who didn't want to settle down and she'd even admitted that she was afraid of commitment. When you looked at it that way, the blonde was a horrible person to fancy.
Yet, Emily couldn't help it. Even after meeting a lot of different women who were by all accounts smart and beautiful as well, none of them measured up to Naomi. None were as funny, none were as cheeky, none were as sarcastic or teasing. None had eyes the same shade of blue or lips the same shade of pink. None twisted their mouth the same way when they tried to stop themselves from smirking and none rolled their eyes quite as adorably or quite as much. Emily was kind of screwed because, it seemed, her heart was dead set. It wanted Naomi and that was it.
After it became apparent that Emily would not magically find someone else to date, she'd decided to stop trying and focus on her career instead. Luckily for her, the focus had been a good thing and actually necessary.
Shortly after Christmas, Emily developed the series of pictures she'd taken in Cuba. She'd been quite pleased with how they'd turned out so she'd went to see her friend to ask if maybe she could get them shown in another joint exhibition. Emily had been pretty confident about her shots, but she had not expected her friend to be that impressed. Expected or not, her friend had been completely taken with her pictures and immediately referred her to a gallery owner in London. Emily had been nervous to call at first, but she'd eventually relented and got an appointment. The brunette was glad she did in the end because the meeting had went extremely well. So well that a month later Emily's pictures found themselves in another exhibition. It hadn't been an individual exhibition with only her photographs- she didn't have enough pictures to create an entire exhibition anyway- but it had been bigger than the first and had less artists featured.
The exhibition was a great success and Emily received a lot of compliments for her work. Abuelo in particular had caught the attention of many. It was because of that attention that she'd decided to submit a picture for the International Photography Awards. She hadn't thought much about it, figuring she'd just enter and see what would come of it, so it had been a complete shock to her when she'd received a letter informing her that she was a finalist for the discovery of the year.
In the end, Emily didn't win the award, but just the fact that she'd been close was enough to really make her believe in her talent as a photographer. Apparently, she wasn't the only one to start really believing in her work because after the awards she'd gotten more phone calls about her pictures than ever before.
By the time the beginning of the summer arrived, Emily could say that she'd never been so well off. She wasn't rich by any means, but she could comfortably say that money was not an issue for her at this point in her life.
Emily felt happy about that fact for sure, but what had really made her year was the fact that she'd received several offers from various galleries to host her very first individual exhibition. It was with that knowledge that Emily had started working tirelessly on this new project.
By the time November rolled in, the brunette had taken all the photographs she needed. Of course, it would be months before her exhibition was ready, but at least that part was done.
So really, Emily had been working so much that when it was finally time for Katie's wedding, she was more than ready to take a break. Also, it didn't hurt that her sister- who really couldn't do anything short of grandiose for her nuptials- was having the ceremony in Spain.
So at the end of November, Emily along with her family and a few friends of Katie's traded gloomy and cold English November for what would hopefully be beautiful, sunny and warm Estepona.
If most people were flying in the day before the wedding, Emily for her part had flown in early to help Katie and her mother get everything ready. She'd been happy to offer her help at first, but after a few days of her mother constantly badgering her about the reasons why she hadn't brought a date, Emily was already regretting her choice.
Even so, every time she looked at her twin and saw the complete look of happiness on her face, Emily forgot the rest. Yes, her mother was beyond annoying and her father kept making the worst dad jokes in the history of dad jokes and James was systematically hitting on every girl over 18 that was present, but they were her family and Katie was happy and that was all that mattered.
Besides, they'd been lucky and had extremely beautiful weather so, when Emily wasn't helping out with the wedding she could escape to the beach, sometimes with her camera, sometimes not, and that was well worth every trouble. She'd acquired a nice tan by the time the wedding night rolled in.
All in all, it was a beautiful evening. Although there were gorgeous beaches around, Katie had planned the ceremony in a hotel that specialised in weddings. The ceremony itself was taking place outside in a lush garden with an amazing view of the sea. Emily tried not to judge her extravagant twin too much as Jeremy and she had a flock of doves fly out of a big wooden cage during the ceremony. Instead, she focused on the tears in her sister's eyes and how simply stunning she looked in her gown.
When Katie and Jeremy exchanged their vows, real tears formed in the brunette's eyes and she clapped hard and cheered when the happy couple was finally married. She hugged her sister to her chest the second Katie launched herself at her, happy tears streaming down both their faces.
After the ceremony, the party started in the reception hall, everyone dancing the night away after watching Katie and Jeremy traditionally slow dance the first song. As good as the music was though, Emily couldn't find it in herself to dance. She watched mostly from the sidelines, a glass of champagne in one hand, the other playing absentmindedly with the locket Naomi had given her the previous year. She'd kept herself so busy during the entire year that she'd had very little time to think about anything other than work. Now that she had stopped though, now that she was surrounded by happiness and love, her mind was inevitably invaded by thoughts of Naomi. Naomi, who she'd see in a month, Naomi, who she liked a lot and Naomi who might not reciprocate her feelings. The entire thing was terrifying to say the least. Emily had ignored the matter so effectively that she wasn't even sure where she stood in all of it. Should she tell the blonde how she felt? Should she keep it to herself?
Of course, her sister's wedding was not the best time to be asking herself these kind of questions, so Emily ended up chatting quite a bit with some of Jeremy's relatives to keep her mind as far away from it as possible. She had just finished talking with one of his aunts when Katie found her.
"Emsy!" she said, her cheeks flushed, the smile on her lips looking permanent.
"Hey Kay," Emily greeted happily.
"What are you doing? Come dance with me, yeah?"
"Huh... I don't know..." she hesitated.
"Why not? It's my wedding!"
"Is it? Oh that's why everyone's dressed fancy and you're wearing a white gown. I did wonder," Emily replied with an eye roll.
Katie snorted and shook her head in response.
"Cheeky. Come dance with me!"
"I will in a minute, promise," the brunette conceded.
Katie had a point after all. It was her wedding and Emily could not let her confusing feelings ruin the night for her twin. Her sister smiled at the promise and nodded. She turned around to leave, but stopped herself. She faced Emily again.
"Are you okay, Ems?" she asked, her brows furrowing a bit.
"Of course I am!" the brunette tried to brush off.
Katie observed her for a few seconds before frowning even more.
"You don't look okay... You look... sad... What's wrong?" she asked again, walking back towards her sister.
"Kay... It's nothing, please," Emily begged. "It's your wedding night. Just enjoy it."
"But..."
"No but! I promise you I'm fine. I'll come dance in a minute," she cut her off, forcing a smile on her lips.
When Katie seemed to hesitate, Emily placed a hand on her shoulder and her expression softened.
"Thanks for your concern Kay, but I swear I'm good, yeah?"
This time, her twin nodded slowly.
"This conversation is not over though," Katie promised. "When I come back from my honeymoon, we'll talk about this."
Emily rolled her eyes, but nodded nonetheless. That seemed to satisfy her sister and the next second Katie was back in the crowd searching for Jeremy.
Emily looked at her go and sighed internally. If Katie had sensed her discomfort it was because she wasn't doing a good enough job of pushing her feelings aside for the night. She walked slowly to the bathroom. Once there, she gave herself a good look.
She could see why Katie had been worried about her. She looked more tired than she felt. She sighed deeply and shook her head. She reapplied some makeup quickly and left the bathroom with a new resolve. She would not worry her sister any more on her wedding night.
The next moment, she found Katie on the dance floor. She gave her a reassuring smile and a wink and started dancing. When James found them a few minutes later, they all ended up in a fit of giggles at his ridiculous moves.
And for the rest of the night, Emily laughed and danced and forgot all about Naomi.
After the wedding, Katie left for her honeymoon and Emily found herself swamped with work once again. When her twin came back from her trip though, no matter how busy Emily was, it didn't stop Katie from knocking on her door one morning the week before Christmas.
"Oh my God Katie!" Emily exclaimed as she opened the door.
"Hey bitch!" her sister greeted with a wide grin.
Emily moved aside to let her sister in, but before the other woman had walked fully into the house, she brought Emily into a tight hug. The brunette giggled and hugged her sister as well. They stayed like that for a bit, both giggling. Eventually though, Katie let go of her and they moved into the flat properly.
"Wine?" Emily inquired as Katie settled onto her couch.
"Christ, please! I'm parched," her sister replied.
Emily grinned and walked into her kitchen. The next moment, she was back with two glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other. She poured them both a glass and looked at her sister.
"So how were the Azores?" she asked and with that her sister was off.
Apparently, Katie had the time of her life on her honeymoon and she did not mind sharing every detail of it with her sister. Actually, if you had asked Emily, she'd have said that her twin was a little bit too comfortable with sharing every details. As much as she loved her sister, she didn't need to know this much about her sex life. Ever.
Nonetheless, she let Katie speak, sometimes asking a few questions, but mostly just sitting there laughing and drinking wine. It was nice to spend some time with Katie. Their relationship had really blossomed as they grew older and Emily cherished that.
It was perhaps two hours and two bottles of wine later that Katie's almost monologue came to an end.
"Anyway..." she said before taking a sip. "That about covers it. How about you? How are you?"
"Bit swamped with work," The brunette admitted with half a shrug. "But I'm good."
"Yeah? How's that going? Work I mean. I know you've been working hard on that exhibition. How is it coming along?"
"Really well, thanks," Emily smiled. "I think we're planning on opening sometime in February."
"Okay. Keep me posted, hun. When you have the official opening date, tell me and I'll mark it or something," Katie said casually.
Emily grinned and shook her head.
"You don't have to do that, Kay," she whispered.
"Huh, like fuck I don't," her sister scoffed. "Of course I fucking do! You're my sister and this is a big deal for you. So I'll be there."
Emily couldn't help the huge grin on her lips. She forgot sometimes how fiercely loyal her sister could be.
"Well... It means a lot to me that you'll be there," she said.
Katie grinned, looking pleased with herself.
"Good," she said pointedly. "Now, I think it's time you tell me what the fuck was up with you on my wedding night, don't you?" her sister said matter-of-factly.
Emily's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't expected Katie to remember that.
"Huh... I don't... What are you talking about?" she tried to deny.
Her attempt was so poor though that Katie only rolled her eyes and snorted.
"I'm not going to let it go Ems. You might as well just tell me and save me the trouble of digging."
Emily bit her bottom lip as she considered her options. In all truth, there wasn't much she could do. She knew her sister enough to know that she wouldn't give up. Not if she was determined to know whatever it had been that had upset Emily and apparently, she was.
Part of the brunette actually wanted to confide in her sister. It would be good to talk to someone about the conflicting feelings she'd developed for Naomi. On the other hand, she wasn't sure what her sister's reaction would be and Emily wasn't sure she was ready for it. She knew Katie had been telling her for years to sort her shit out with Naomi, but now that it turned out Emily actually fancied the blonde, how would Katie react?
"Oh for Christ sake!" Katie interrupted her thoughts. "I can hear you thinking! Stop deliberating or whatever and just tell me."
Katie stared her down, her eyes and jaw set and Emily sighed deeply. Katie really would not let it go, so why was she even fighting it.
"It's silly..." she mumbled uncomfortably.
"Let me be the judge of that," Katie snapped. "Go on."
"It's just I... Well it's come to my attention... I mean... I've realised that I may have hum... feelings, like romantic feelings, for huh... for Naomi..." Emily finally admitted, her eyes looking at everything but her sister.
She braced herself as she waited for Katie's reaction. She expected exasperation or anger. She expected pretty much anything, but when Katie burst out laughing loudly, Emily had to admit she hadn't expected that. She stared at her sister in disbelief as she laughed and laughed, clutching her stomach. Eventually, the surprise subsided and was replaced by annoyance.
"Are you quite finished?" she snapped, crossing her arms in front of her.
Katie shook her head vigorously and continued to laugh until eventually she stopped, brushing tears away with the back of her hand.
"Oh fuck me that is priceless!" Katie managed to say. "You just realised that, didn't you? God you're such a daft cow!"
"Oi! Shut up!" Emily defended automatically, her cheeks burning red.
"Why didn't you tell me at my wedding? God this would have been like the perfect wedding gift!"
"Eh? That I have feelings for Naomi?" Emily asked confused.
"Course not! But the fact that I have been right all those years is the perfect gift. You know how much I love to be right," Katie replied smugly.
"In that case, shall I return the designer bag I did give you?" Emily grumbled back.
"Don't you dare," her twin said with a wink.
Emily tried to smile too, tried to take it with as much humour as Katie was, but she couldn't quite manage it. This wasn't funny to her. She sighed heavily.
"Ems?" Katie asked tentatively. "What's wrong?"
"It's just... I can't laugh about this Kay... I'm completely fucked, aren't I?"
"Why?"
"Well... Naomi is all the way to another continent... And even... even if she came back... she doesn't do commitment. I know she doesn't do commitment..." Emily tried to explain.
"And you're sure she wouldn't make an exception for you?" Katie asked.
"Why would she?" Emily said desperately.
"Because you're different? Because you're one hot piece of woman? She does like the muff though, right? Please don't tell me you've fallen for a straight girl..."
Emily snorted and rolled her eyes.
"You're so crass... But yeah, she likes women."
"That's good then!"
"It doesn't change anything... She's still unavailable."
"Have you even asked her if she's available?" Katie asked with her own eye roll.
"No..."
"Then how can you know?"
"I..."
"You don't," Katie finished pointedly. "Why don't you try talking to her before you doom it all?"
"Because I know what she's like! And I actually value our friendship... I don't want to ruin it over feelings..."
Katie stayed silent for a few seconds after that. She looked at her sister as if she was trying to figure if she was serious or not. Emily found it rather unnerving.
"What you've just told me..." Katie eventually said, her expression dead serious. "Is absolute bollocks Ems."
"But-!" Emily tried to argue but her twin cut her off.
"It is! Don't even try to deny it! Look Emily, I know you. I'm you're bloody twin, aren't I? You couldn't stay friends with Naomi now that you've finally realised you want more. You couldn't do it even if you tried. You're not like that. So just, like, tell her or show her or something. Don't keep this in or not knowing will kill you. At least if she's not up for it you can move on, yeah?"
Emily gulped slowly as she let the words sink in. Her sister was right, of course she was. If she didn't sort it out with Naomi, she'd spend another year beating herself up about it. She didn't want that. Sure, the thought of opening that door with Naomi was terrifying, but she had to know.
She nodded slowly and took a sip of wine as her eyes glossed over with tears. Katie scooted closer and hugged her awkwardly.
"It's okay Emsy," she muttered in her ear.
Emily nodded again and cleared her throat before changing the subject. The rest of the night flew by after that and gradually, Emily found the resolve she needed. She'd see how things went with Naomi, but she'd also follow her sister's advice. Bottling it all up would do her no good.
When Christmas Eve finally arrived, Emily was more nervous then she'd imagined she'd be. She'd picked at her food uncomfortably all through dinner, Katie's slightly worried gaze on her from time to time. Her stomach was twisted into what felt like a million knots and she didn't know how to get rid of them.
When dinner was over, she left early to get back to her own flat before meeting Naomi at their traditional pub. If her mother seemed upset, she didn't make a big fuss about it and Emily was grateful.
She tried to make the quickest escape possible, but of course, Katie cornered her at the door. When her sister gave her an encouraging hug though, Emily didn't mind much that she'd followed her.
It was perhaps an hour later that Emily found herself walking to the pub, hands deep in her pockets. Her pace was fast, her head bent low. The cold air on her skin felt more than welcome.
She was nervous, God she really was. She could hardly believe it though. This was just Naomi, she kept telling herself. They'd been meeting like this for 10 years. There was nothing to be nervous about, they knew each other. Yet, Emily couldn't help thinking everything was different now.
She arrived at the pub earlier than she'd expected due to her fast pace. When she walked in, she walked straight over to the bar, not bothering to look around. Naomi would find her and she really needed a drink.
Emily ordered and got her cider quickly. She sat on a stool and took a large sip to calm her nerves. She really didn't need to be this nervous. For all she knew, she'd see Naomi and the butterflies she'd felt deep in her stomach the year before would be gone. Maybe it had only been an after-effect of receiving the locket. Maybe it was because the gift had been so sweet that Emily had been momentarily confused.
Emily had almost convinced herself when she felt a presence behind her and even before anything was said, the brunette knew it was Naomi.
"Hello beautiful" her voice resounded deep inside Emily's chest. "That's a very lovely locket you're wearing"
Emily turned to her side and her eyes fell onto Naomi like they did every year. Naomi with her cheeky grin, blonde locks and shinning ice blue eyes. Something caught in Emily's throat and she gulped with difficulty. If she'd hoped the butterflies would be gone, the brunette now knew they were far from it. Actually it looked like they had only tripled.
Naomi stepped closer as Emily jumped off the stool and the next moment they were hugging. The blonde's arms snaked comfortably around her waist and Emily knew in that moment that she was screwed. Her heart fluttered and she felt shivers run down her spine. She bit her bottom lip and gripped the blonde tighter, bringing their bodies closer. Emily wasn't sure if she was supposed to enjoy it this much and she hoped that she wasn't making the blonde uncomfortable. If she was though, Naomi was being very good at hiding it because she wasn't moving at all.
Eventually they let each other go, smiling goofily. Naomi ordered a drink and then they went to find seats. They sat and neither said a word. The blonde just looked at Emily with a lazy smile on her lips.
"What?" the brunette asked her own lips curved into a smirk.
"It's good to see you," Naomi admitted with a shrug.
Emily's chest felt like it was on fire. She felt her cheeks heat up and she chuckled nervously.
"So, you're fucking tanned..." the blonde said. "Where did you go this time? Jamaica? The Canary Islands?"
"Oh close! I did go to Spain, but not the Canary Islands."
"Yeah? Jesus! Someone's lucky! Where did you go? Ibiza? Did you party the nights away? Shagged hot Spanish girls?" Naomi teased.
"Hardly!" Emily chuckled. "I went to Estepona for my sister's wedding."
"Wedding in Spain? Wow! You're sister does nothing halfway, does she?"
"Well you've met her," Emily said with an eye roll.
"True," Naomi conceded. "You'll tell her congratulations for me, will you? Must have been a nice wedding."
"It was and I will," Emily nodded. "I don't think it's the kind of wedding I'd like though..." she mused afterwards.
"No?" Naomi asked, looking interested. "What kind of wedding would you like?"
"Something a lot more simple you know? Probably smaller... Just close family and friends... Maybe outside too though... Maybe have a dance floor under a marquee in case it rains... Not that I'd even mind, I love the smell of rain... But yeah, something simple, just a meaningful day to share my love with my partner and the people closest to us... Nothing extravagant... If I ever get married, it'll be the commitment that matters to me. It'll be to know that my partner and I share the same kind of love. Just that would be enough..." she explained.
Naomi's eyes were full of emotion when Emily stared into them after her little speech. She wasn't sure what emotion exactly it was, but her heart filled with hope nonetheless.
"And then the white picket fence house and the kids, yeah?" the blonde asked, tilting her head to the side.
Emily rolled her eyes.
"Don't be silly," she chastised. "The fence can be any colour," she finished with a wink.
Naomi chuckled deliciously and Emily's eyes were glued on her lips as she did. When she finished laughing, the brunette had to snap herself out of her trance.
"So, what about you? How was Toronto?"
"Well it was... nice. I mean, it's a lot more businessy than Montreal, but it was fine. And I did spend half my time in Montreal anyway, so it was a good balance."
"Well I'm glad you had a good time," Emily said sincerely.
"I did! It was a good year."
"Good."
"It wasn't just a good year for me though, was it?" the blonde stated, a glint in her eyes.
Emily frowned slightly.
"No... It was a good year all around I think... But why are you saying that?" she asked curiously.
"Well, considering that someone in this very pub almost won a bloody photography award... I'd say it was," Naomi said smartly.
Emily's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
"How do you know that?!" she exclaimed happily.
Naomi looked very pleased with herself.
"I may have googled you," she admitted, no trace of shame on her face.
"You googled me?!" Emily said disbelievingly.
"Well yeah..." Naomi replied, a hint of worry appearing on her confident features this time. "I didn't know how else to follow your work... I mean the subscription was perfect before, but now that you quit I just... I reckoned I might find something if I googled you."
"And you found out about my almost win?"
"Yeah. I absolutely loved the picture by the way. Was it Abuelo?"
"Yeah it was."
"It was absolutely brilliant! I ordered a print online actually and hung it in my flat." she said casually.
Emily's heart flipped over in her chest and her eyes widened once again.
"You ordered a print?" she said softly.
"Uh huh. It's been a wild success too with my mates. They don't actually believe me when I say I know the photographer who took it."
Emily looked at the blonde in utter disbelief. How could she not fancy the woman, she wondered in that moment. How was it even possible for her to do anything, but fancy the pants off of Naomi? The blonde was and had always been completely supportive of her career and totally impassioned and enthusiastic about her photographs. She was beautiful and considerate and Emily was very much taken with her. There was no way around it.
"What is it?" Naomi inquired curiously.
"You just keep surprising me Naomi Campbell, do you know that?" Emily replied seriously.
Naomi blushed cutely at the comment, but seemed happy nonetheless.
"I can't believe how thoughtful you are..." Emily continued with a slight shake of her head.
The blonde scoffed in response.
"I I think that's the first time someone other than my mum called me thoughtful," she admitted.
"Yeah? I can't imagine..."
"Well... Maybe I'm not always this nice," the blonde said with a shrug.
"You are with me..." Emily said slowly.
"Yeah... yeah I am..." Naomi agreed, suddenly looking very interested with her glass.
Emily's breath caught in her throat. She breathed in and out nervously. She wasn't sure why Naomi was kinder with her than others, but she knew what she wanted the reason to be.
"Anyway," Naomi said after clearing her throat. "What are your current projects?"
Emily pushed aside her feelings for a bit and answered the question.
They fell into conversation easily. It amazed the brunette actually how simple it was for her to discuss just about anything with the blonde. She'd been so ridiculously nervous when she'd first walked in. She'd been shaking a bit, she reckoned. But now that she was sitting with Naomi, surrounded by everything that was her, her nerves had disappeared. They were laughing together, cutting each other off here and there to talk and it was completely natural.
Emily's heart was filled with warmth and it kept fluttering from time to time. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted more from Naomi than this friendship, but somehow it wasn't making anything different between them. She didn't feel like suddenly she couldn't talk to the blonde. Everything was exactly the same, right down to the light touches they kept exchanging. Perhaps Katie had been right. Perhaps she had been a bit daft to realise her feelings so late.
They'd been talking for a while about their work projects when Emily changed the subject momentarily.
"So huh... what about your love life?" She asked uncertainly. "Seeing anyone?"
Her heart was beating furiously from the question she'd just asked and when Naomi looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a cheeky smirk, Emily felt herself blush hard. She almost wished she hadn't asked, but she hadn't been able to stop herself. She really needed to know.
"No, there's no one special," Naomi answered. "What about you?" she asked, her eyes looking a bit darker.
"No one either..." Emily replied, her voice lower.
They stared for a bit, Emily gulped slowly and they moved on. The conversation picked up again and the tension that settled with the brunette's question dissolved. They eventually returned to the subject of Katie's nuptials and the time Emily had spent in Spain. For once, Naomi looked really jealous.
"It sounds so wonderful... I loved Spain when I was in Madrid. I've never been to the south of the country though... Estepona sounds magical," she said dreamily.
"I really was... The hotel Katie booked was lush, with a view of the sea and everything, but what I liked best was just walking on the beach... You would have loved it Naoms... I can see you in my head..." Emily said slowly, her eyes losing themselves half in memory, half in imagination. "We could have walked together on the beach, sandals in our hands, the bottom of our trousers rolled up as we walked into the water... I'd have taken you to that small restaurant I found about three days after I arrived. It looked like absolutely nothing from the outside, a bit shabby even. It was painted in bright red and pastel yellow and the paint was actually peeling off in places, but when you walked inside it was just so lovely... The owner was this slightly portly man with a thick moustache and his wife was the cook. I started going every other night and we talked a lot. One night, he dragged a table outside for me. If you'd been there with me, I'd have taken you there. I'd have asked Antonio to drag that table outside, right by the sea and I'd have made you try the best dishes you've ever tasted. Antonio might have played violin if we'd been nice enough, maybe his wife would have sang... She had such a lovely voice..."
When Emily finished speaking, she focused her attention on the blonde and noticed how much darker her eyes were.
"I'd have loved the evening..." Naomi muttered in response, looking extremely serious.
Emily gulped, her heart shivering in her ribcage, her cheeks red.
"You know... If huh... if you'd been to Montreal with me..." Naomi began, sounding a bit nervous. "I... I know where I'd have taken you as well..."
The brunette's chest flared.
"Yeah? Tell me," she demanded softly.
"Well... I'd have brought you to Juliette et Chocolat first..." she said, her voice sounding so incredibly wonderful as she spoke the French words that Emily felt it all the way to her toes. "Maybe we'd have shared a chocolate fondue, maybe you'd have fancied the chocolate raspberry mousse instead... No matter the choice, I'd have told you to get a thick hot chocolate as well... Then I'd have taken you to the city's botanical gardens... They have this special thing in the fall... It's in a part that's called the Chinese gardens... It's a lantern show. I probably wouldn't have told you beforehand though. Kept it a surprise you know? But I'd have brought you there and I know I'd have been amazed by the look on your face when you walked into the place. The Chinese gardens are actually larger than you'd expect they'd be and for a minute there, if you forget the people around you, you feel like you're in a different country. There are Chinese houses and a lake in the middle. Stone paths weaving their way around the place, beautiful paper lanterns all around. Dragons and pandas and emperors and samurais and geishas, the lanterns can be any shape. There are some that float in the middle of the lake, some around the small hills. It's so gorgeous..."
Naomi stopped for a second before continuing.
"Then, when you'd have seen enough, I'd have walked you further to the Japanese gardens. There, there's a forest and it's... gosh, it's a bit mystical. There's Japanese music playing from somewhere as you walk into the forest. There are lamps illuminating the trees, but you can't see them. You just see this halo of lights and it's as if you're not walking into a normal forest. It's breathtaking despite being so simple... I'd have taken you there... Or maybe... Maybe I'd have taken you to the top of Mont Royal... There's an observatory there, big paved area really from where you can see the entire city. At night it's pretty fucking great. You see the city in its illuminated glory... Maybe I'd have taken you there instead... Maybe both places," she finished with a chuckle.
Emily wasn't sure at which point into the conversation they'd lowered their voices. She wasn't sure at which point it had gotten so serious. But it definitely had and now she couldn't take her eyes away from Naomi. Her heart was beating so fast and never had she wanted to kiss the blonde as badly as she wanted to now.
"It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought..." Emily said, teasing, testing.
"Not really," Naomi giggled. "But it's not hard for me to know the places I'd want to show you regardless..."
Emily wondered in that instant if they were flirting. It felt like they were, but then again, weren't they always toying with that line between friendly teasing and flirting? She knew she wanted them to be flirting. She wanted Naomi to be interested in her, to feel the way she herself was feeling. She wanted the blonde to understand that feeling that had formed deep inside her chest and seemed to diffuse all the way through her body. She wanted her feelings to be reciprocated, so much that she could barely stand the idea of Naomi feeling otherwise. How could she anyway? How could the blonde not feel this? It couldn't be just her. Emily needed to make sure though.
Silence had fallen onto them after their last exchange. It wasn't uncomfortable, but there was an undeniable weight to it. Emily looked around for a bit, biting her bottom lip as she tried to calm her heartbeat.
Then, her eyes fell onto the dance floor and something lit up inside her. She turned to look at Naomi, a slow nervous smile forming on her lips.
"Hey, Naoms," she said to get the other girl's attention.
"Yeah?"
"How would you like to dance?" she suggested. "I mean, it seems like a pity that we've only taken advantage of the tradition we started once..."
Naomi looked at her for a few seconds, but those seconds felt like a year or two. Then, slowly, the blonde nodded and the huge grip of Emily's heart relaxed. She smiled and got up. Naomi followed her.
They walked side by side to the dance floor, far enough that they weren't touching, but close enough that they could have if they'd really wanted to.
Emily's heart was beating furiously and her hands were shaking. She knew it was just dancing. She knew it wasn't supposed to be a big deal. They'd danced together before, but this time it would be different. It would be different because this time Emily knew that things were different between them as well. She didn't know how Naomi felt, but she had to find out. She didn't feel like she could tell her, she couldn't find the words, but she'd show her. By the end of the night she'd know.
They stepped onto the dance floor and without a second thought started to dance. Emily's eyes found Naomi's instantly and then couldn't move away. Naomi was just as beautiful as she'd been those few years ago. She still moved with the same elegance, with that same raw power. She still looked completely unabashed, totally at home on the dance floor, lost in her own world and not caring if she was ever coming back.
Emily wasn't even sure if she was moving too. She was so completely overwhelmed by the sight of Naomi that she had forgotten her own body. She figured there was just one way to ensure she'd move along without losing sight of the blonde and so, she stepped closer.
Naomi welcomed her as if she'd always meant to be there. Her long and toned arms found the brunette's hips, her fingers stretching, an index sliding underneath the hem of the petite woman's shirt. Emily gasped, but stepped even closer. They dance together, completely in sync, their eyes locked together. Emily couldn't tell how her own eyes looked, but Naomi's were sparkling despite being slightly hooded.
The brunette brought her face closer, her arms tightening aren't the blonde's neck. She heard Naomi's laboured breath against her ear and she shivered. Emily wasn't sure if it was the mix of cider and beer she'd drank throughout the night or simply being this close to Naomi that was inflaming her senses like this. No matter what it was, she didn't want it to stop.
Acting on instincts, one of her hands found the back of Naomi's neck, fingers losing themselves in blonde locks. Emily felt the blonde's ribcage expand more than usual, but she didn't take her hand away. She felt a roaring sense of happiness when she wasn't pushed away for her boldness. Quite on the contrary, the blonde's arms slipped further around her, engulfing her entirely in her long arms.
Emily's heart was beating so fast now that she was almost worried it would burst. She withdrew her head to look at Naomi just at the same time as the music slowed down. She stared deep into the blue eyes in front of her, only to see that they were a lot more black than blue right at this moment.
Naomi slowed their movements and Emily let her, her fingers still playing with the hair at the base of the blonde's neck.
"S-so..." Naomi mumbled, her voice shaking dangerously.
"Hum?" Emily hummed.
"Have you got me a Christmas present this year?" the blonde asked.
"What?!" Emily exclaimed as she started laughing against the other woman.
Naomi seemed to relax. Emily could feel her.
"Well I got you one last year... It's only fair," she teased, her lips curved into a sexy smirk.
Emily grinned and shook her head.
"You've got nothing?" Naomi continued, just above a whisper.
"I didn't know I had to buy you..." the brunette replied.
"You don't..." The blonde chuckled.
Then something caught Emily's eye and her heart pumped widely in her chest.
"How about..." she muttered to catch Naomi's attention.
And when she had it, she brought her lips closer and kissed the blonde's cheek, the corner of her mouth feeling Naomi's. She lingered longer than was necessary and when she withdrew, her heart was beating so hard that her entire body was shaking.
"Wh... I..." Naomi tried to reply.
"Mistletoe..." Emily explained, lifting her eyes to the ceiling.
Naomi's blue orbs followed the movement and fell onto the small branch of mistletoe.
"Oh..." she said softly, disappointment dripping into her voice.
When her eyes travelled back down, they settled on the brunette's lips and Emily couldn't take it anymore. Her hand that had been in Naomi's hair clutched the back of her neck and she tugged her closer as she stepped on her tiptoes and closed her eyes. The next second, her lips had connected with Naomi and this time, it wasn't the cheek she aimed for.
Something deep inside her sighed and roared at the same time as her lips connected with Naomi's. Her fingers twitched on her neck and she felt more than heard herself hum into the kiss.
Her skin tingled, her heart beat so furiously that it felt like it had ripped her chest wide open. As their lips moved together, perfectly slick, tender, but also rough, demanding at the same time, Emily wondered why the fuck they'd waited 10 years to do this.
She felt her back connect with a wall she had forgotten was even there, but she swallowed her surprised and opened her mouth wider, inviting Naomi. Right on cue, the blonde's tongue brushed against her bottom lip before finding her own. Emily moaned and tugged the other woman closer.
She could feel her entire body being pressed onto the wall by Naomi's and it was driving her crazy. She kissed the girl with more need, feeling like she'd explode if she didn't get more of her, if she didn't taste more of her.
As much as she didn't want to end the kiss, Emily couldn't breathe anymore. She moved away, but not very far, panting slightly. Naomi kept her body pressed against her, panting as well and Emily was glad.
They waited in silence until their breaths regained some kind of normal rhythm. It was Naomi who spoke first after that.
"So huh... was that... was that mistletoe as well?" she asked.
Emily chuckled and shook her head.
"No..." she said, her words heavy with meaning.
"Oh okay..." Naomi replied, sounding pleased.
They were silent a bit longer.
"It's too bad though..." Naomi muttered, pressing herself just a tad bit more against Emily. "Because... well... the mistletoe is still there, isn't it?"
The blonde had barely finished speaking when Emily grabbed her by the neck with both hands and tugged her down, catching her lips with hers. She felt the blonde chuckled into the second kiss and grinned herself, kissing a bit more fiercely afterwards to catch Naomi's attention properly. She wasn't left disappointed.
As the kiss continued, Emily marvelled at how natural it felt. Like they'd been kissing for ages, like they already knew their way around each other's lips. This time, they moved with a bit less urgency, but the kiss left Emily feeling just as numb. She held tight onto Naomi, to keep herself from falling. In all honesty, the blonde didn't seem to mind at all.
It had been a long time since Emily felt this alive. Her body was vibrating with desire and happiness. She could feel it bubble underneath her skin, like some kind of desirable virus. She smiled into the kiss and felt Naomi do the same.
They disconnected their lips again and when Emily's eyes found the blonde's, they were shinning. The brunette grinned, her heart soaring, expanding inside of her. She looked at Naomi with what she knew was probably too much tenderness, but she couldn't help it.
When she felt the blonde tense a bit against her though, she tried to tame her expression. She kissed the blonde again, painfully slowly until her muscles had relaxed again. Then, she let go of her lips and grabbed the blonde by the hand, dragging her back to their table. Naomi followed her wordlessly.
As they walked, Emily felt like she was on cloud nine. They sat back down, closer than they had been sitting before. The brunette was trying not to smile too brightly, but she was having a hard time. She let her eyes fall onto Naomi and her heart caught in her throat. God that woman was beautiful.
They sat in silence for a bit and Emily chuckled. She shook her head and scooted closer to Naomi, her lips finding her once again, just because she could and just because she couldn't help it. Kissing Naomi was quickly becoming addicting. When she sat back down properly into her spot, her thumb racing patterns on Naomi's hand, she could tell she was blushing.
"So..." she said shakily. "What are your plans this week?"
"Huh..." Naomi mumbled, shifting a bit in her seat.
Emily was too busy formulating her next sentence to notice.
"Cause I was thinking... Maybe we could do something... Outside of Christmas... For once, you know? Like whatever... restaurant or movies..."
This time when Naomi's entire body froze and her face paled, Emily did notice. She frowned questioningly.
"Ems I..." Naomi said shakily. "I can't..."
"What do you mean you can't?" she asked, her voice faltering.
"I... I'm flying out... in like two days... I... Shit Ems... I signed a contract... I'm going to Japan for a year..." the blonde explained, her eyes full of apologies.
Emily's heart stopped in her chest and she felt her head spin. No, this couldn't be happening. Naomi had not just told her that she was leaving again. Not after the kisses they just shared. It couldn't be true, could it? They'd talked about it, hadn't they? No they hadn't. The answer came to Emily easily. They hadn't talked about Naomi's situation. They'd talked about work, about their projects but they hadn't specifically talked about where in the world the blonde would be next. Emily had assumed it would be England. How fucking foolish of her.
Her heart squeezed painfully and she felt momentarily as if someone had punched her in the gut. She stared at Naomi and realised that she still hadn't said anything. The blonde was looking alarmed, but Emily couldn't find it in herself to care. She realised for the first time that they were still holding hands. As soon as she did, the brunette let it go as if she had been burned.
Then, she got up, grabbed her jacket and headed for the door without a word to Naomi. The cold air hit her face and something shuddered inside of her. She swallowed back a sob and let out a painful breath.
"Emily!" She heard behind her and she knew instantly that it was Naomi.
She closed her eyes, her arms tightly wound around herself and kept walking.
"Ems!" Naomi said again, but Emily didn't stop.
The second though, an arm had grabbed her bicep and was turning her around. The brunette tried to push past, but Naomi trapped her against a wall. It should have been an intimidating move, but Emily realised with a wave of sadness that she wasn't scared. She knew the blonde would never hurt her... at least not physically.
"Emily please say something..." Naomi pleaded.
The brunette shook her head.
"I'm sorry. Don't leave like that please... Just say something, anything."
Emily shook her head again.
"You must have something to say... Come on... please..." Naomi said desperately.
Emily shook her head again, her body trembling with pain. She tried to push past Naomi, but the blonde didn't let her.
"Don't do this to me, please," she said.
The sadness inside Emily's chest vanished in an instant and instead a wave of fury hit her. She glared at the blonde with such anger that the other woman took a step back.
"Do this to you?" she repeated incredulous.
She glared, her body still shaking, but with rage rather than sadness.
"I have nothing to say to you," Emily said through gritted teeth, trying to control her anger.
She started to leave, but her anger didn't let her. She hadn't gone very far when she turned around again and started to walk towards the blonde.
"You know what, I do have something to say actually. Fuck you! Fuck you Naomi! I can't believe you've let me think you weren't leaving!"
"I... I didn't... I didn't mean to mislead you..." Naomi said pathetically.
Another wave of anger shot through Emily's body.
"Yeah, sure. You didn't mean to. It just didn't come up, right?" the brunette snapped sarcastically. "That's bollocks Naomi! We talked about work for ages! You had all the time in the world and all the opportunities. But you didn't say anything. You knew perfectly well what you were doing," she finished bitterly.
Naomi squirmed in front of her.
"I didn't know how to tell you..." she said. "I didn't think it would matter if I did or not... I... I didn't know the night would take this turn."
Emily scoffed.
"Of course you didn't..." she said disbelievingly.
"Oh come on... How could I have known? We've been meeting for years! This is the first time things go like this!" Naomi defended.
"You've always known I find you attractive Naomi... That's how we started talking," Emily said.
"So? I've always found you attractive as well, but that hasn't changed the fact that we've been hanging out as friends for 10 years..."
A small flame of happiness flared inside Emily's heart at Naomi's words, but it was quickly extinguished by the knowledge that the blonde was leaving.
"You still should have told me you were leaving again..." the brunette whispered.
Her anger had pretty much disappeared now, her sadness coming back in full force.
"I know I'm sorry... I would have... I mean if I'd known... I... I just... this all came as such a surprise..." the blonde mumbled.
Emily frowned and tried to ignore the way her throat was squeezing painfully.
Had Naomi really not seen it coming? Had Naomi really been that oblivious? Somehow it didn't make sense. Not with how things had always been between them. How could Naomi not have known? Naomi who was so nice and so thoughtful, but just with her. Naomi who was always smiling and always here even if it was only on Christmas Eve. Naomi who gave her looks so full of emotion sometimes and Naomi who had given her the most beautifully personal present she'd ever received. It didn't add up.
"Are you quite sure about that Naomi?" Emily asked calmly.
"I... huh..." Naomi mumbled uncomfortably.
"Are you sure it's oh so surprising? Because... because I'm not sure it is," the brunette said nervously at first, but finding a bit more strength as she spoke. "I mean, how could it be? Naomi have you even seen how you act around me? The hugs the compliments, the looks. You begged me once to come back the next year, you held me as I've cried, you've subscribed to the magazine I used to work at, you made me sign a cast that no one else had signed..."
Emily waited a bit for the blonde to say something and when she didn't, she decided to continue.
"And what about the locket? About buying my print? About googling me and kissing me back. Naomi you didn't even fucking hesitate," Emily said desperately.
The blonde still didn't answer. Emily could tell she was tense.
"What's that all supposed to mean then? How am I supposed to interpret all that if us kissing was such a surprise?"
When the blonde still answer, Emily sighed.
"Come on Naomi, tell me what it meant. If you never saw this coming then what the fuck did that all mean?"
"I... I don't know..." she answered, her voice shaking violently. "Christ... I don't know..."
The brunette looked at her as she shook her head, trying desperately to figure out something that was just beyond her reach. Emily's eyes filled with tears and her throat constricted as she realised that Naomi really didn't know.
"Well... If you don't know... I can't tell you," Emily mumbled.
Then, she turned around and started to leave, a few tears running down her cheeks.
"Please wait!" Naomi said, finding her arm again.
Emily stopped and turned to look at her.
"Please tell me you'll be back next year," the blonde pleaded.
A humourless chuckle erupted inside Emily's chest.
"Why would I do that?" she asked shaking her head sadly.
"Please Ems... I... I'm a twat alright? I... I'm so bloody confused, but... but please give me the chance to figure it out, yeah? Just... Can we just put this on pause?"
"I'm not sure we can..." Emily admitted, biting her bottom lip.
"Just... just for the year," Naomi explained. "Because... because I'm confused, but... but."
She stopped talking and leaned in, pressing her lips against Emily's. If the brunette had a bit more will, she might have pushed her away. She didn't have that much will though and she let the blonde kiss her instead, sighing against her beautiful lips.
"This... I... I feel it, okay?" Naomi continued when she disconnected the kiss. "Just... give me the year, please. It's all I'm asking... Just a year and then... and then next Christmas... we see where we stand... If you still feel the same and if I... Next year, okay?"
Emily hesitated for a few seconds and when she did Naomi's brows furrowed.
"I promise I won't sign any other contract before I see you next. If... if you promise me to be there next year... I promise I'll be without contract... What do you say?"
Hope flared inside Emily's heart and she knew what she'd reply.
"Okay..." she said softly.
Naomi smiled brightly, looking so relieved that Emily couldn't help but smile along. It only lasted a second though before her expression turned serious again.
"You only get the one year Naomi..." she told her seriously. "If next year... If you... Then... Okay?" she tried to say.
Naomi seemed to understand her nonetheless. She gulped thickly and nodded.
"Okay."
Then, she leaned in again and kissed Emily. The brunette felt her entire body vibrate and her lungs fill up and empty all at the same time. Breathless. Naomi was making her completely breathless. She took a step back, disconnecting their lips. This was too much.
"Just go, please..." she muttered, not looking at the blonde.
And just because she could feel Naomi's entire body hesitate she lifted her gaze.
"I'll see you next year," she promised.
The blonde nodded, gave her a tight smile and the next second she was walking away. Emily watched her go, her heart feeling heavy. She'd be okay, she thought. What was a year anyway? She could do it. She'd wait. And if Naomi was still unsure or confused the next year then... then she'd move on.
As Emily walked towards her flat, she couldn't help thinking that moving on from the blonde would not be that easy and she hoped with all her heart that she wouldn't have to.
.
.
.
Dammit Naomi!
:P
Now the next one... will be a bit hard to write so bear with me okay? In the meantime, I'd like to know what you thought of that one. :) Please? I'm only human.
MMxx