Disclaimer: DNAngel not mine
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The house is dark as I creak open the door and look around. I can still feel the mascara where it ran down my cheeks and still has stains there.
I want my sister. Yes, I'll be little-kid Risa again, without the gothic dress and on-my-own mentality and my million defenses...
It's Satoshi's fault I feel this way. Why'd he have to kiss me? This makes things so... complicated. Why couldn't he have taken it like he usually does, as I expect, no, TRUST him to, with the icy cold exterior that screams 'no emotion here Harada, you may as well go home!'?
He can't possibly like me in... that way. I've expressed my dislike for him as a boyfrend multiple times, I've never been his fangirl, I don't LIKE Satoshi that way!
But... I can't get over the way he looked, staring at me as if I'd shattered his heart, torn it into bitty shreds all over the rooftop. He's horrible for kissing me like that but..., but that expression of pain, hurt, and the faint... betrayal in his eyes. It's impossible to skim over it, delete it as a closed issue, turn away and never look back.
It was more open then Satoshi's ever been with me before and I threw it back in his face.
Daisuke even got a nicer let-down when I 'dumped' him than I gave Satoshi just now. But Daisuke never tried to kiss me...
Argh, my head hurts. I don't want to think about this. New topic! How about sleeping?
My feet and the floor beneath them remain obediently quiet due to my mental praying as I head up the stairs to Riku and I's darkened bedroom. Wiz abandoned me as soon as I got here, winging it's way quickly back to Daisuke. He's probably out getting Satoshi off that rooftop now-- no! Not thinking that! My outburst wouldn't affect Satoshi that much, he's just... not feeling himself today. That's all.
...I wonder if he hates me again...
Argh! Is there an off switch for the voices in my head? Cause all the unwanted ideas are getting really annoying right about now. I just want to go o bed, turn out the light, and NOT. THINK.
Opening the door to our room, I glance in hesitantly, blinking in the light that shines brightly on the nightstand. Riku is sitting on her bed on top of the covers, calmly reading a novel. She looks up as I sheepishly enter, tucking the novel under her pillow and returning her saddened attention to me. The prodigal little sister who has been out far too late with a questionable boy who was once trying to murder the prodigal's sister's boyfriend. It sounds like a soap opera.
Mascara-tearstains in full-view, there's no way to cover this up. Except for maybe pulling the covers over my head and hoping the world doesn't wake up tomorrow.
"Want to talk about it?" She asks softly. You always know the right things to say don't you? I can feel the next batch of tears rising already. One day you'll be off at college Riku, I know you will, and then who am I going to go to for my counseling sessions? I'm going to shrivel up and fade with you, spend my days facedown on my bed crying.
But the question remains, do I? Do I want to tell all, do I really want to open the floodgates again tonight and pour my heart out to her?
"Not tonight." My voice answers both mental and verbal questions, equally feather-soft like hers, and I curl into my bed, burrowing beneath the warm covers as if I'll never have to leave them again. Her bed emitting a protesting cry as Riku rises, I don't turn to see what she's doing. My own bed tilts to the side as she crawls in, tugging the covers over herself. It's hard to sleep together in a twin bed but we can manage. We always have whenever one of us is really unhappy.
No matter how oblivious Riku seems sometimes... she always understands me when I'm down.
She flicks out the lamp and a few long minutes later I can hear her rhythmic breathing begin. One of the skills that is a source of envy for me is exactly that. She can sleep in mere moments. I'll be awake for hours more.
Amusing myself is difficult however, and I don't realize when I slip from consciousness into dreams that still don't help me forget blue eyes shining unnaturally bright in the moonlight.
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"Getupgetupgetupppppp! We're gonna be late! Late I tell you! GET UP!"
Someone's tugging the covers away! NO! MY COVERRRS!
"DO NOT TOUCH MY COVERS!"
The hollering drags itself involuntarily out of my mouth and I cling the covers close to me as I whimper and whine. What TIME is it?
"Come ON! I'm not going to wait for you you know!"
"Leave me alone! I want to sleep!"
But sleep is now impossible, my senses already whirring and eyes having adjusted to the barest hint of dawn on the horizon. Ah, HOW long does she think it takes to get to Daisuke's and then school?
Wagh! My defenses are down! Riku callously snatches my covers away, smirking.
"We've gotta get to the Niwas!"
"I want to sleep!"
"Tooooo bad!" She sing-songs, far too loudly for my poor head and starts skipping merrily off to use the bathroom... first! Scrambling, I leap/fall out of bed onto the not-so-soft floor in a tangle of bedclothes just in time to hear the bathroom door shut with a resounding triumphant SLAM.
Curses.
May as well get ready for the unavoidable flirting, fawning and vomit-inducing sweetness that is Daisuke and Riku.
Is there no hero to save me?
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"Riku-chan! Risa-san! You're early!" Daisuke chirps, opening the door and beaming at us, despite the fact he's in light blue pajamas and obviously not ready. He does project quite an adorable image though, if rather teddy-bear-like. Riku seems to find it endearing; however at this point, I'm tired and couldn't care less if Daisuke was wearing all leather and they were calling each other 'Pooky and Snookums' on the Niwa's front porch.
"Better safe then sorry ne?" My poor lovestruck sister murmurs shyly and it's all I can do not to choke on their woodland-creatures-Disney-movie dialogue. Daisuke scootches out of the way to let us both in, smiling apologetically.
"It may be a few minutes, you can probably tell I'm not quite ready, but I'll try to be as quick as I can... sorry!"
"No problem at all Daisuke-koi!"
...Tell me I didn't just hear that honorific on the end of his name. Never mind never mind never mind.
Riku, treating the house as if it's her own, heads into the living room, with me following along behind her like a good little rather-disturbed-at-all-the-cuteness sister. Is this what REALLY having a boyfriend is like? If so, I'm glad I'm past my high-school 'popularity' days... I can't think of one boy I could reasonably act to the way that Riku acts to Daisuke.
Daisuke vanishes into his room like the very talented thief he is and Riku and I are left alone in the very very quiet house. Contrary to popular opinion/rumor, I have't visited the Niwa house many times, so I'm a little ignorant of their house and the usual surroundings here.
But I am certain that the Niwas do not regularly have a certain winged, blue-haired Hikari sleeping on their couch... without his glasses...
My breath catches in my throat; I've always heard about that in movies but never really experienced a complete surprise like this. Starting to pray that he doesn't wake up would probably be a good idea at the moment.
Even though seeing his amazing blue eyes without glasses fogging them away would be a treat... NO! BAD RISA! YOU DON'T LIKE HIM!
Focus on things other than his eyes...
Satoshi looks so much more, well, comfortable asleep then awake. His head is tilted slightly like a child's, his body curled up into a loose fetal position, and his legs drawn up to his chest casually. It's nothing like the icy, tense person he is around everyone else, completely conscious of everyone and everything, and seeming to believe they're all enemies to him...
I wonder if he's ever been so relaxed in front of people this way?
Selfishly, I'm suddenly and unfortunately conscious of how -I- must look. The little fact that I didn't bother to do anything more then run a brush through my hair this morning, the way the uniform does NOT flatter me in any way, my growing blush that's quickly infecting my whole face--
"Risa!" Riku whisper-yells, staring at me in annoyance.
"Stop staring at Hiwatari-kun! I don't care if you like him, give him a little privacy will you?" Finishing her rebuke, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at me with a faint smirk, I can almost hate her.
For your information Riku, I DON'T LIKE SATOSHI! He's a pervert and has a, by the way, INSANE alter ego intent on destroying lovely Dark-sama, and WHY in the world would I like HIM?
"Nn..."
Oh my... he's waking up... darn you Riku!
His (bottomless) blue eyes open slowly, staring at the ceiling like it's the Sistine Chapel, blinking in surprise at it. His eyes drift downwards to scan the room, finally resting gently on Riku and I. His piercing gaze, not glare for once, locks on me like a missile immediately. He jolts upward violently, trying to pretend he wasn't just sleeping in front of us and not look panicked at the same time.
But at his own sudden movement he winces, his pain only noticeable by the sweat bead that trickles slowly down his forehead, and he loosens his posture, wings drooping with him ungracefully. His shirt lifted when he fidgeted and I can see fresh bruising across his side and I assume his ribs. Bet there's a story behind those...
"Harada-kun." He acknowledges smugly in his usual tone, dipping his head slightly. He doesn't stand and I can understand why... His eyes keep roaming as well, trying to place what I can picture are blurry people and an unfamiliar room to him. Where his glasses are, I haven't a clue.
"What brings you here?" He inquires, directing the question at Riku coolly, IGNORING ME. The urge to whack him is overpowering, but smacking a defenseless classmate as a guest in someone's house... that doesn't do it for me. I'll wait till I can yell at him properly.
Riku smiles faintly at him, in the manner of one annoyed by his presence but forced to put up with it.
"Daisuke-kun asked us to walk to school with him. I assume you are coming as well Hiwatari-kun?"
Crap, NO! I can't walk all the way to school with this creep in my face! Sister, how COULD you?
Satoshi, the sly bird, investigates my face carefully in the space of a mere moment before answering the question.
"I doubt it Harada-san."
Thank you! Yipee! Er... I SHOULD feel that way... darn delayed reactions... Satoshi has numbed me just like himself and I'm not going to give in to the nagging want that is rising in the pit of my stomach--
I don't want to have Satoshi with us! I don't...
"Sorry to keep you waiting-- Oh, Satoshi, good morning!" Daisuke bounds in, all light and smiles as Satoshi looks up at him blankly then slowly nods.
"Good morning..."
"Do you want to walk to school with us?" The redhead asks brightly, tugging a brush through his messy stll-bedridden hair, apparently not noticing that Satoshi STILL has gigantic white wings perched upon his back, broadcasting to the entire world that he was once Krad! How can he possibly go to school like that?
Besides, Satoshi hardly looks awake enough to pick up a coffee cup, much less make it the train ride from Daisuke's house to school. But he still stands, an obvious difficulty no matter how he tries to hide it, and I notice he's still wearing the wrinkled outfit of last night. Did he not return home after we met together...? Maybe that's why Wiz left in such a hurry, to tell Daisuke so he could go make sure that Satoshi didn't do anything--
No. It's none of my business and he's not my responsibility. I never asked for a romantic relationship with Satoshi and I am NOT going to have one forced on me by his horomones! The pervert!
"I think I'll come Daisuke."
...add traitor to that list. He KNOWS that I don't want him there, and he said just a moment ago he doubted it! I swear he knows that I don't want him there, that smirking look in his eyes... eeeevil, you are pure evil Satoshi Hiwatari!
"Do you want to eat something first?" Daisuke questions, tugging on his jacket but Satoshi shakes his head, strands of that beauti-- messy, MESSY, unbrushed blue hair drifting over his piercing eyes--
which are avidly avoiding looking anywhere resembling my direction.
"I'm not hungry." He says quietly, shifting his weight to his other foot in an attempt to relax with those wings on his back. It's just dawned on me, they must weigh a -lot-. Even if they are coated with feathers and supposedly light... I never really considered that they would be like having another leg or arm, breaking just as easily, a constant hazard since no one has adjusted the world for them...
Aside from my inaudible musing, Daisuke has determined that he will not leave Satoshi's denial of hunger at that and he bars the doorway with arms spread wide and a glare lasering out of his usually peacefully happy eyes. His lower lip pouches out in adorable determination. Yes, I know Riku has claimed all the girly words right now, but 'adorable' is the only word to describe how Daisuke looks.
"When was the last time you ate?" He demands with formidable force behind the word and as if on cue Satoshi sighs, trying to retain what shambles of pride and common smugness he usually has.
"...yesterday at lunch." His voice, even energized by his attempt at Satoshi-ness, is still a whisper in the face of an irritated Daisuke. Daisuke plants his hands on his hips, taking them away from the doorposts now that he knows Satoshi can't 'escape'. Riku and I just stand awkwardly, outside of this conversation. I feel like we're looking in a window at a family squabble that we have no part in, just intruding busybodies.
I wonder if we're seen that way?
"My mom's got some cereal in the kitchen!" The redhead announces suddenly, looking over at Riku (his sweetie, his dear) but including both of us in the following question. "Did you eat already?"
"Yeah. Before we left." Riku announces shyly for both of us and Daisuke blushes sheepishly, putting a hand behind his head in embarassment.
"It's going to be a minute the, Satoshi has to eat something so he doesn't pass out at schoo--"
"I'll eat already Niwa. Just go to school and stop worrying." Satoshi interrupts, sounding annoyed, and Daisuke looks back at him unhappily.
"But..."
It's then that the light flicks on over my head. Satoshi told him some, or all, of what happened last night and Daisuke wants us to get back together! But... I hate having people pity me...
Satoshi appears to realize what Daisuke is doing at the exact same time, his blue eyes having gotten hard as ice blocks.
"Daisuke. Go. To. School."
"But who will you walk with then?" Daisuke shoots back immediately, a now-angry look in his eyes. "You have low blood sugar, were whacked twice by my mom with a baseball bat last night, and on top of that you have relational problems! If you pass out and fall in a ditch as a product of one of those things while no one's with you and no one sees you, you could die! I'm not going to let that happen! You may think it won't effect anyone if you die but so help me, that's not gong to happen today! Now go eat some cheerios!"
There is dead silence in the room. There's nothing to follow that up.
"Heh..."
The soft sound echoes, bounding around the room like a kangaroo as Satoshi starts chuckling quietly, arms wrapped around his no-doubt aching bruised side.
"'Go eat some cheerios' Daisuke? Was that the best closing line your scriptwriter could think of?"
"D-don't make fun of me!" Daisuke protests, still angry. Satoshi just shakes his head, laughing quietly, almost bitterly, to himself.
"So it would matter to one. My life is changed, I'll go eat cheerios now, don't worry Niwa. You go to school and I'll have my therapy with the breakfast cereal."
"Don't make fun of me!" Daisuke moans unhappily, Riku at his back, getting worried about being late.
"Rii-chan, you'll stay and walk with Hiwatari-kun won't you? " She asks, partially leading Daisuke out the door. That boy was just not made to give long, serious, heart-felt monologues...
Wait, WHAT did she ask!
Too late, the door slams shut behind them.
Leaving me terrified to turn around and face...
gulp.
Satoshi.
I feel his eyes boring into my back curiously, but when I turn around to finally face him, he's eating a bowl of cheerios calmly, having sat down at the Niwa kitchen table. I didn't even hear him get the bowl or cereal out. He glances up at me fleetingly as he eats, then returns his attention to his food.
"You don't have to stay. There's not many ditches on the way to school and a blue-haired teen with white wings sticks out more then Daisuke thinks." He says, icily calm. I can't tell if he doesn't -want- me here, or simply thinks I'd be happier walking alone. Sorry to disappoint him but--
"Nope, I'm staying." I intone, sitting gracefully down on one of the table's chairs. His gaze darts to me again and I swear that it's a glimpse of hope I see dancing in its depths. But it's gone a moment later, like every other shred of humanity that Satoshi chooses to show.
He finishes his cheerios in silence and stands, rinsing out the bowl and heading towards the door.
"You forgot-- oh..." I reached down to take his jacket but now that I hand it to him I can see that it'll never fit over his wings. Satoshi shrugs, handing it back to me.
"You didn't bring one did you? Wear this."
Blushes clash with my outfit, therefore I really shouldn't have them... can't stop this one from infecting my cheeks as I pull on the jacket however.
"Thanks..." Even still being annoyed with him for last night isn't a reason to disregard common courtesy. My tone still carries over a certan iciness I'm proud of however...
As we step out into the elements, it's obvious they've been pitted against us. Light snow that hadn't been there when Riku and I walked here now blankets the ground, not to mention the slippery front steps.
A white feather drifts off Satoshi's wing as we start to make our way down the steps and I unthinkingly catch it. It crumples immediately in my fingers' touch. It's a tiny feather, almost like one of the snowflakes falling...
Unique...
Speaking, or rather thinking, of unique, we must make a fine duo against our white surroundings; me all in black, boycotting the uniform for today with a lacy skirt and corset top while he's in the loose-fitting outfit he wore last night when he 'met Dark'. And him avoiding looking at me by staring avidly at the snow, street signs, buildings, or just about anything in sight.
Not that I'm DYING to look at him. Who'd want to look at a glasses-wearing (even though they're gone right now...), white-winged, blue-haired freaky boy?
Maybe he's staring around because he can't see very well without his glasses... poor guy. I wonder if Daisuke's mom broke him when she hit him with the bat. Must be how he got the bruises in any case.
"Harada-san, you're going to trip if you don't pay attention to where you're going." His voice is laughing at me, and all traces of pity in my heart for him immediately vanish. How dare he be looking at me? Especially looking so close as to know that I'm not paying attention? What right does he have?
He draws in his breath, then I hear my name dropped from his lips again.
But this time it's not "Harada-san" and that makes all the difference in the world.
"Risa... I want to apologize for last night."
What a soft, whispery voice Satoshi can have... I have to strain to hear it over the falling of the silent snow. Snow that I force my own tone to resemble when I reply.
"Oh. Really."
"I'm sorry."
Why -is- he apologizing? It's not a Satoshi-like act. Does this mean... he likes me? My emotions matter enough to him that he wants to keep them uplifted? Or does he just want to know I accept the first transgression and am open to more? My first three 'boyfriends' thought they could go that route, but I don't think Satoshi's that kind of guy.
He isn't, is he?
Heh, that possibly is about as likely as his actually liking m--
WHUMPH-
Oww! WHAT was that! Stupid pothole! My foot slipped into it and-- is that blue hair brushing my arm? And is that arm around Satoshi's neck...!
"I told you you'd hurt yourself if you kept didn't pay attention. Are you all right?"
He's holding me.
Satoshi's holding me.
And my body is supported by him, my arms around his neck like a desperate pathetic hostage or something.
Back to the original hypothesis:
Satoshi's HOLDING ME.
"I-I-I-"
My ankle hurts, and this position is terrifying to me and I can't get the words out to say that...
"We're going to be late. Are you all right or not?"
"I-I-I'm fine. Thanks." And scurry away Risa, brush down your skirt frantically and tell no one your arms were clasped around his neck.
I could die.
"W-we'd better get to school..."
"Indeed." Satoshi straightens, blinking away any emotion brought on by our 'encounter'. I wish so badly I could do that, because I can feel the dark dark blush spreading across my face. He's staring at me.
"C-c-" My voice hesitates so I just pop in the first thing that comes to my head.
"Can you see all right?"
Confused blue eyes that don't have an end stare at me in obvious 'have you gone off the deep end?' disbelief, but he quickly recovers.
"I'm fine." He murmurs softly and the faint blush that darts across his face I don't understand. Daisuke asks him this ALL THE TIME and he never blushes. Doesn't distract from the fact it's cute however... I try hurriedly to regain my composure before Satoshi thinks I'm a complete moron.
"I'm glad." Smiling, I start off in the direction of school. But I'm not followed... I turn and stare back at the lost-looking figure standing in the falling snow, blue bangs low over his eyes. The question that comes ever-so-quietly from his lips makes me blink at the sudden change of topic.
"Are we... 'made up' then, Harada-san?"
Can't resist the faint smile and correction.
"It's Risa, Satoshi. Always Risa."
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CHAPTER ENDS! Did ya like? I actually though it was a good place to end the chapter... please review!
Reviewcontinuing soon!
Edit: Oi, CHANGES! change change change, don't ya love it?