Chapter 10

I was lying in bed asleep. I heard my door creak open and soft footsteps slipped in and made their way over to me. I opened my eyes a little. Caitlyn was standing on the side of my bed. I scooted over and held the covers up for her to climb under. She climbed up and lay on her back next to me.

My eyes closed. I was so tired. Telling Jess-ee-cah everything that had happened last night over text message and texting Paul too. I was exhausted. Knowing it was well before I was to normally wake up.

She poked my face lightly. "Rain," She whispers. "Is Paul your boyfriend now?"

I open my eyes again. "No," I say, my voice rough and tired. "Not yet."

She pouts a little. Someone has finally given an appropriate response. Jess-ee-cah not saying what I wanted to hear. In fact she asked me something that started bothering me last night. Why not Sean? She said she liked Paul and everything, but why didn't I go to Sean?

There was no answer I could explain in less than forty letters. There was no answer short enough to give properly to anyone. Not even Paul. Or Sean or anyone. I always just knew. That was enough.

I smiled at Caitlyn. "But he will be," I said. "I'm positive."

She sighed. "Why not now?" She asks. She's young. She doesn't understand relationships. But I open my eyes wider and wake up more.

"We don't know each other that well," I said. "We need to be better friends."

She nodded. She smiled. "I want a boyfriend."

I wrinkled my nose. "Boys are gross."

She giggled. "You are going to have a boyfriend." She pointed at me.

I smiled. "I'm older, I'm allowed to." I said. I sat up a little leaning onto my elbow. "You're still a kid."

"That means your old!" She said giggling.

I dove in tickling her. She erupted into the little-girl-giggles that I'm going to miss when they are gone. They're so cute. I hope if I have a daughter she has a giggle like this. She screeches and giggles. Erupting and exploding she laughs until she digs her soft hands into my wrists. Holding them.

I smile and pull away getting out of bed. "Ah, Cait." I sighed looking at my clock. "It's seven in the morning."

She giggles again and hurries out of my room. I check my phone. There's a goodnight message waiting for me- and has been for six hours- from Paul. I smile opening it and reading it. I stretch. My back stiff and tired.

There's no sense in sleeping now.

I go downstairs. Queenie is cleaning up plates. Her stomach getting bigger. She's pregnant. And you can tell. She doesn't look like she's just gaining weight rapidly anymore. Jake is sitting in his seat drinking milk and Caitlyn is in the living room watching Television.

"Hi," I say. I sit in my seat at the table.

Queenie turns around. "You were home early last night." She says to me.

"I know," I smiled. "I was."

She looks at me steadily. "Your father was this close to keeping you in all week." She said. "Don't stay out too late. Be careful." I notice her hand on her stomach. Any other girl would be moaning. Not another sex talk. But I see where Queenie's coming from. Jesse, even though he's making a better life and everything in the Ivy League, was a seventeen year old mistake.

I nod. "I will be."

She turns back to the dishes. Jake is looking at me from across the table. I smile at him. "Are you excited to no have daycare today?" I asked. He sips his milk remaining silent. But I smile and sit back taking out my phone. Rereading the last text Paul sent me. I felt strangely happy today.

I took the kids to the playground today. I sat on the park bench and watched Jake play in the sandbox while Caitlyn ran around calling to me to watcher standing on top of the jungle gym or jumping off of the swings.

But I kept sitting there for Jake's sake. Because he doesn't normally like playing the sandbox if I'm off with Caitlyn. He stays within ten feet of me at all times. And looks to check if I'm there still a lot. I'll never leave him or get annoyed.

He's the little brother I always wanted.

When I was little I had my mother. I always wanted other siblings but somehow I never got them. I always dreamed of having little sisters to play dress-up and "House" with. Then again I also wanted a little brother to ride roller coasters with at amusement parks and Ferris Wheels and fun exciting things. But I stayed an only child. My mother being the older sister I always wanted to. And the mother I could never forget.

"Rain!" I looked over at Caitlyn. In top of a big slide. "Watch me, Rain!"

She slides down. We go to this old playground. Both of their favorite. It's old and everything is a gray stained wood with red metal or plastic equipment. The sand box is huge and full of broken toys mothers leave for kids to play with when they come here when they owner's of them are too old to.

And everything is quiet. Every once in a while there will be one or two little kids running around here too. But usually it's just me and them.

And just that. Queenie brings them to the nice new playground downtown neat Kerrington High, but they love it here. And the swings go higher and the jungle gym is taller. There are toys in the sand box and there aren't other kids to intimidate Jake. And no matter what I can always hear Caitlyn call to me.

It's nice. And even though I'm texting Paul, I can still feel the fine line in between this half of my life and the other half.

And somehow everything seems to be falling into place. In a few months I'll have the closest to a blood related sibling I'll ever get and to finally feel like there is something more connecting me to this family.

The next day I park in my normal parking space. Number 323. Right near the tennis courts and not far away from the front door. You pay about a hundred bucks a year to have a parking space. The kids who ride the bus pay two hundred. So it isn't that bad a deal. Except the whole gas situation.

But I walked up to the school tucking my keys into my backpack. I am one of the few girls who use a backpack. Everyone uses off the shoulder bags, but when I saw my backpack it was too cute. It had pins all over it. It was in a thrift store and I was there with Jess-ee-cah shopping for her Halloween costume. She was going to a party. I was staying home and taking the little kids trick-or-treating. Which was fun. I liked that better than getting wasted at a party in all this Halloween crap.

Something about it made me love this backpack. I slung it over one shoulder. It's small and carried just enough opening my phone again. Another message from Paul. My goal today is to find his locker.

Everyone had the "Mondays." The most incurable disease known to teacher and academics alike. Everyone's a zombie. They walk deprived of sleep and everything vital. They just slouch and walk. It's funny sort of. But I kept my head held high. Walking texting the boy I'm non-exclusively dating.

Coolen's much bigger than Kerrington. But on my walk to the junior hallway I saw him. He was walking slouching like the rest of the crowd. I felt a rush inside of me. I was happy to see him. I loved talking to him. And being with him was also great. I smiled and moved up behind him. Ready to cover his eyes. He turned suddenly. As if sensing me. "What are you doing?" He asked.

I smiled. "Nothing." I moved up walking next to him. "Hi," I said smiling at him. "What's new?"

He smiled a little too. He looked so tired. But everyone did. "It feels like Monday." He said.

"I know," I said. "Looks like somebody's got the case of the Mondays."

He looked at me for a few seconds. Slowing down. Before sighing and shaking his head a little looking around the hallway. I smiled kissing his cheek. He rolled his eyes smiling.

"Displays of Public Affection aren't against the rules right?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"No," He said. "I don't think so."

"Just checking." I said. I stopped where I needed too. I pointed behind me. "I'm this way, but what lunch do you have today?"

"Second," He said pausing to think about it.

My smile widened. "Me too," I said. "We can sit together!" I tried to act overly excited.

He smiled a little shaking his head again. He leaned in and kissed me. I'm happy he isn't awkward about things like this. We weren't pulling the sloppy couple move. It was a short kiss. He didn't notice the few people staring. I'm not sure why they were but for some reason they did.

I smiled at him. "I'll try and find you," I said. "But walk down this hall before you go to lunch."

"Okay," He said. "See you."

I smiled kissing him again. He kissed me back. "Bye," I started walking waving over my shoulder as I walked through the stream of students to my locker. I see Jess-ee-cah stopping and leaning against hers waiting for me. She's downing coffee and looking as dead as everyone else today.

"I'd like to inform you that Shelly Harris just asked me if you were dating a Mr. Paul Spinella." She said sipping her coffee. "Don't know where she heard that from."

I smiled. "I just ran into him in the halls." I said doing my combination. "What did you tell her?"

"Said you were dating." She said casually. "But I have to say her reaction- which was wrinkling her nose and saying you could do better- wasn't the best start for today. Especially for you and Mr. Spinella."

I laughed. "Oh man," I said. "What will I do? Shelly Harris doesn't approve of me dating a boy I actually like?"

She laughed too. "I wonder how many times people are going to ask me about you and Paul now." She said sipping her coffee again. "Shelly's going to tell everyone and make it sound like you're in love with the kid."

I rolled my eyes. "Who believes Shelly anyway?"

She paused, thinking about this. "You're right." She said.

I shut my locker with my books all switched out of my bag and I slung it over one shoulder. "Come on," I said starting to walk to advisory.

She came up behind me hitting me sharply in the butt. "Does this whole dating situation mean you're not single anymore?"

I shoved her slightly. "Yeah," I smiled. "I'm exclusively dating someone."

She sighed. "I'm hanging out with the baseball team tomorrow afternoon, can you come?" She asked. "I mean I'm not going to sell you off to the other guys on the team, but I'm going to be the only non-peppy-cheerleader there. I need my emo best friend to be there with me."

"I'm not emo." I said defensively.

"Fine," She said. "I need someone normal there with me. Please, Please, Please!" She begged. "I'd do anything for you."

I laughed at her. "Fine, I'll go." I said.

"Yes!" She said happily. And we walked to advisory.

I like school. It's not fun and wild and crazy exciting. It's alright. I like talking to the kids in my classes and I like a majority of my classes and I like that Jess is in most of them. Except math. I'm awful at math. I got to division and sort of lost it in elementary school. I have the mathematic ability of a fourth grader. Jess-ee-cah is amazing with numbers. Like I said she's always smart. Sometimes I think she likes numbers more than boys.

But today I had something to sort of look forward to. Jess-ee-cah kept count of all the "are Rainie and Paul Spinella dating?" questions. We were up to fourteen by third period. But I had lunch. A period Jess anticipated to put the count well over thirty. I went to my locker and opened it taking out a water bottle and started walking away from it. Figuring I could just meet Paul in the cafeteria if I could find him.

I saw him walking in front of me. Probably not even seeing me. "Paul!" I called. This caught people's attention and not even his. Everyone around me looked at me. I hurried up to him looping my arm into his. "Hi!"

He looked at my smiling. "Hey," He slipped his arm out from mine.

I laughed a little. "Did you miss me?" I asked.

He looked at me. Sighing and shaking his head smiling. He kissed my temple not answering.

By the end of lunch thirty-seven people asked Jessicah if we were dating.