Title: 31 days of ficmas - "Peace".

Number of parts: 1/1.

Pairing: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler.

Synopsis: "The Doctor had always been seeking for peace."

A/N: The characters and universe don't belong to me. All rights go to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.

A/N2: All the shots of this collection have been written for the 2017 ficmas challenge organised by doctorroseprompts on Tumblr.

The Doctor had always been seeking for peace. His peace of mind mostly, for he was tired of waking up trembling and begging for the torture to stop, of having to stay locked in a room until the shield he always had around him was rebuilt so he could face Rose and avoid her questions. The peace of the universe too. Each war he was stepping in or being a simple witness of reminded him of the war he had ended in a very tragic way. Plus, if the universe was peaceful, he would be able to rest for a little bit before running again… Who was he kidding? He needed the adrenalin, and the running. He never got rest because his mind needed to always be busy with something, and the running… Well, he had a very high blood pressure so he needed the sports not to go mad.

There was one thing he needed right now to be in peace, but that was something he couldn't get. Peace. It was something so simple to dream about, but so complicated to accomplish. He sighed and leant his cheek in his hand. There was no way to get around it, to avoid this. That was the problem when your companion was human: you had to follow some human rules. And when that human had a family, things were getting really awful. Jackie Tyler was the most irritating person he had met so far. She could piss him off faster than it took him to say Clom, the twin planet of Raxacoricofallapatorius. She also was a quick slapper. She had hit him more than once and he was too much of a gentleman to hit back or say something that wasn't dripping with sarcasm.

That was why he was sitting in Jackie's tiny flat and listening to the old woman too loud while Rose was grabbing some little things she needed. The TARDIS was her home now. She was living in it permanently now, and she was moving her stuff in her room. Jackie wasn't happy with that of course. No mother was happy to see their children leave home and have a life of their own, but it was harder when your kid was leaving with a daft old alien traveling through all of time and space with no concept of punctuality. He had been a father a long, long time ago, and he was as protective of his kids as Jackie was. He couldn't blame her considering the sort of life he was living. He wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but he had given Rose the choice and she had made it. But Jackie kept blaming him for it.

He was making efforts to stay calm, really. That woman didn't know him, she didn't know his story, and she was making assumptions about him. What would she say if she knew the whole story? If she knew that he had exterminated the whole species, his own species? She sure would keep Rose away from him for good, and he would have to go back to his TARDIS and let himself drift away until the end come. Unless Jackie killed him first. It would be a relief and a bother at once. He would regenerate, but his lives were limited now. Only two to go and it would be done. The Doctor would disappear forever, and he would be in peace. Finally. He would have deserved to die with the others. He wasn't meant to survive. He wasn't meant to survive, he wanted to die with them all. But here was his punishment: he was living with all the guilt and pain on his shoulders.

Jackie was still rambling, but he wasn't listening to her anymore. He had been seeking for peace and had just met his demons. Now, they were overwhelming him in the worst moment possible. He wasn't in his TARDIS, in his room, away from looks and questions. He was exposed and vulnerable. Far, far away from the peace he wanted. He needed to control himself and not blow a fuse. He was rather unstable and mad. He didn't know what he could do when he was losing it, and it terrified him.

"Doctor?"

A soft velvety voice with an estate accent full of concern. A warm hand on his leather-clad shoulder. The unleashed storm in his mind turned to the usual brooding. It was calmer, still about to explode, but it could wait until he was alone. He was having it all back under a weak control.

"I'm ready. We can go."

He looked up at her, silent. She could see his troubles but didn't say anything about it. Jackie was grumbling something. She disagreed completely, but he didn't care. Rose had made her choice and he wouldn't let her go. The blonde seemed to have a certain power on him, the power of bringing peace to his tormented soul and he was selfish enough to take advantage of it…