Section 15: Two Haruhis

The person on Thomas Smith's doorstep wasn't Hilary, as he expected when he answered the door. It wasn't Regina or Michael either. Thomas had no idea who this poorly dressed stranger was.

"Can I help you?" Thomas asked, trying to hide the disappointment he felt from finding an ugly boy at the door instead of Hilary.

"Well, I guess," said the boy. He shuffled his sneaker-clad feet on the Smith's welcome mat and stared at Thomas nervously through a pair of thick framed glasses. He was wearing an over-sized brown sweater over a white collared shirt. Thomas noted the state of his worn jeans, his ratty shoes, the general downcast look of humility and the shaggy haircut, and concluded that this fellow was obviously from a low income home. Thomas immediately felt pity for him.

"Please come in."

Thomas beckoned the young man into the hall, ignoring the curious stares coming from the Host Club in the living room. His new guest complied, stepping over the threshold and into the house. Thomas waited, expecting his new friend to burst into rapture over the style and expense of his home. No doubt it all would fascinate this poor stranger. Instead, the boy merely acknowledged the hosts with a nod and said, "Regina sent me."

Thomas frowned, but tried to cover it with his customary smile. The end result was a somewhat quizzical expression that made the stranger take a few hesitant steps backward, as if he thought he had done something wrong.

"Really? Well, then of course you're welcome! I'm her cousin, Thomas."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Freya."

"Freya? That's a strange name for a boy."

"I completely agree. Maybe that's why I'm a girl."

Thomas's jaw dropped, "What? Impossible! Since when are you a girl?"

"What's wrong, Tom?" Kyle asked, "You couldn't tell that she was a girl?"

"That's pretty shitty," said Henry.

Keith nodded, "Yeah, I mean she has girl written all over her."

Tyler tilted his head to the side and inspected Freya from head to toe. Freya shifted uneasily.

Tyler smiled, "I have to disagree. She could use a more feminine look. Still, I can't believe you'd actually mistake her for a girl, Smith."

"B-But… Your clothes!"

Freya stared down at her wardrobe. "Laundry day," she explained, "I borrowed some clothes from my dad. He never wears this anyway."

Thomas listened to this brief explanation and tried to adjust to the new situation and the social faux-pas that he had committed. The twins were grinning evilly at him from their seats. He could see them whisper something to Tyler that made him laugh and then pass the message on to Kyle. Clearly, he had to do something to regain control over this party.

"I think we may have got off on the wrong foot. It's very nice to meet you, Freya, and might I say you are a very attractive female specimen."

Freya blushed slightly, but she merely said, "Thanks. I feel like a bug in a box now, but thanks."

"No, wait… I just meant that you in no way look like a scraggly poor boy."

"Poor? Scraggly?"

Kyle stood up and dumped a bowl of chips onto Thomas's head, "I think you've said enough here, Tom. We're out of chips. How about you go and get some more?"

Thomas reluctantly took the now empty bowl and walked over the chips toward the kitchen. He was going to have to vacuum before his mother got home. From behind he could hear Kyle calmly introducing Freya properly to the others, then the doorbell rang.

"Someone get the door!" he shouted, "It's probably Hilary!"

"Sorry to disappoint you, dear!" Regina sang from down the hall, "Just Michael and me! Who's Hilary?"

Thomas picked up the new bowl and waltzed back into the living room with a smile, "Just the girl I've chosen to be Haruhi!"

Regina was sitting on the sofa between Freya and Michael. She had apparently invited herself to do Freya's hair, and the poor girl's glasses had been abandoned on the coffee table. Thomas had to admit that she did look better already, but he still thought that she looked like a boy. Regina, meanwhile, had paused her work with the brush and comb, and was staring at Thomas with a slightly horrified expression.

"You've picked a Haruhi?"

"Of course I did. Didn't I say I would last time? Besides, you were likely to beat me to death with a parasol if I didn't have a Haruhi by today, right?"

"You've… already picked a Haruhi?"

Thomas looked from one cousin to the other. Michael had covered his mouth and was trying to stifle his laughter. It seemed he knew something that Thomas didn't. Regina was staring at Freya dismally.

"Oh this is terrible, just terrible!"

"What?" Thomas demanded, "Just what is so terrible about me finally including Haruhi in our plans?"

"Because I already picked a Haruhi for you!"

Thomas was flabbergasted, "What? But I told you that I would choose someone! That I had someone in mind!"

"Yes, but I didn't actually expect you to find anybody! You're quite useless!"

"Will everyone please calm down?" Kyle commanded. Thomas and Regina immediately fell into a heated silence, each of them simmering in their own indignation.

"Regina," Kyle continued, "I take it Freya is your choice for Haruhi?"

"Yes."

"Huh?" Freya said, finally pulling herself away from the snacks laid out on the table and acknowledging the drama playing out around her. Her involvement was drowned out, however, by Thomas's cry of protest.

"Her?" he said, "Regina you can't be serious! She's nothing like Haruhi!"

"Oh please!" Henry interjected, "I've only seen a few episodes of this thing, but even I can see that the girl looks exactly like Haruhi."

"That's not the point!" Thomas said, "My Haruhi can actually act. She is the better choice."

Thomas caught his mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He glanced and Freya and his face reddened considerably.

"That is… Freya you seem nice and all, but… I already promised the position to…"

"Don't look at me." Freya said, "I just came here to eat some food. I don't have any idea what you guys are even talking about."

Tyler grinned crookedly and Regina and winked, "You didn't tell her your plans for her?"

"Uh, well no."

"What plans for me? I don't like the sound of this…"

Thomas threw his hands into the air, "You're going around saying you've picked a Haruhi for me and you didn't even tell her about the plans? Has she even heard of Host Club?"

The doorbell rang. Regina was cut off from responding as Keith got up to answer the door. Hilary had finally come to make an appearance, and the group waited with baited breath to see how this would all pan out.

"Hi everybody!" Hilary said as she came in with Keith, "I hope I'm not too late! And I've got good news…" She hesitated. Regina was staring at her coldly, obviously sizing her up. The girl in the ugly brown sweater seemed like she wanted to bolt out one of the windows.

"Um… My friends said they don't mind if I spend a day with another cosplay group. I can join you guys!"

"A day?" Regina said, "Another cosplay group? Thomas, she already has plans! Freya is completely free that weekend, aren't you Freya?"

"Um. What?"

"Nevermind that! I've already decided. Freya, it was nice meeting you but Hilary here is going to be our Haruhi."

"What's going on? Have you got another girl? If that's the case then I'll just tell my friends not to worry…"

"No, no! You stay. We want you."

"Speak for yourself, Tom," said Michael, "I like my sister's pick better, and I'm not just saying that cause I live with her. She's a natural."

"Let's vote on it!" suggested Regina.

"This is not a democracy! I am king of this Host Club!"

Tyler thrust his fist into the air, "Down with the monarchy! Viva la resistance!"

"Um… Can I say something?"

Everyone quieted down yet again in order to listen to Hilary. She smiled under the pressure, completely nonchalant.

"It might help your decision if I mention that I couldn't be a part of the cosplay contest with you."

Thomas was instantly crestfallen, "But… That's the whole point of the Host Club."

Hilary smiled sadly, "Yeah, I kinda figured that was the case. Still, I thought I'd come over today, if only to hang out. But I promised my friends that I'd enter the contest with them. I could cosplay with you guys for a day, but I just couldn't abandon the others after I promised."

Thomas sighed and stared down at his feet, "You're right. You gave your word to your other friends. We'll have to figure something else out."

"I'm sorry, Tom."

"But this doesn't mean you have to leave!" he said. He took Hilary by the arm and led her further into the room, "You can stay and give Freya a few pointers on how to act, couldn't you? You could help all of us!"

Hilary's excitement matched Thomas's. She was grinning wildly at the idea of training the hosts in their various roles, "I'd love to help in any way I can!"

"Perfect!" Regina said clapping her hands, "So I didn't have anything to worry about after all!"

"Sure you do."

"What's that, Tyler?"

"Well, it's nice that Hilary has stepped down, but now we've lost the other Haruhi."

Tyler wasn't kidding. At some point during their quarreling, Freya had quietly gotten up from her seat, stuffed a few more pieces of fancy tuna into her mouth, and walked out the front door. She was gone, and Thomas was once again minus one Haruhi.