A:n/ Final hospital day for Kensi! Clayton set backs, Kensi's POV on her ' abusive tendency', and jello.

Gracie's Joural 6/17/29

Mom and I are starting to irritate one another.

Its like putting her in a room with herself for 24 hours.

It doesn't work.

I love her. I love her. I love her. But GOSH. Give it a rest. She wants to go home and the hospital says one more day just to make sure. She wants to be all bad-ass and its hard to do that when they only let her stand up to go to pee.

I was happy that Clayton texted me to see how I was doing, because Mom was on another rant about me eating her jello cup while she was in the bathroom.

He came and we walked again, this time not about my drama. just about whatever came to mind. He was all, "Your bruise is almost gone," *swipes hair out of my eyes with his hand, examining my eye, letting me melt under his touch* and I was all "Yeah, almost gone."

And he was all, "You never called," and I was all, " I didn't need anything, " and he was all "You didn't want anything either?"

And I realized I hurt him in that moment. I mean, granted it was one day that I didn't call. But, I guess that doesn't make it not hurt.

His eyes told a different story than his mouth did. "It's alright," he said. But I told him it wasn't okay, and that I was really sorry I didn't call. I told him about how I was spending time with Dad and Aunt Nell and how I just took a little space but it had nothing to do with him.

I felt like that hurt him too. Maybe I'm a grenade, like that stupid The Fault in Our Stars thing Aunt Nell made me watch.

Still haven't forgiven her for that yet, either.

Then he said four dreaded words,"Maybe I should go,"

And I jabbed him in the arm, hard.

He was all, "Um, ouch? Gracie?"

My eyes went wide and my hands went shaky. I started apologizing, because I had no idea where that came from. Like, it was out of nowhere, for no reason, besides that he wanted to leave.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't know why we do this Grace." He frowned.

I kind of interpreted that as 'why the heck do I like a freak like you'.

But I guess it could have been more of a 'why are we so screwed up.' Guess I'll never know, cause I never asked.

"I'd tell you to call me, but I don't think there's a point."

Ouch. That one was like a knife to my gut.

So that's when I retreated back Mom, who was all chipper and eager to know about how it went.

But she recognized the look on my face.

I climbed back up next to her and asked if she'd ever hurt dad.

She said she hurt him a lot along the way, and she stroked my hair. I asked how, and she explained how she had this thing of just punching him all the time, when he was undercover, being stupid, on an op, you name it. And she found that that did not work out. Because of that terrible communication I learned about yesterday, he didn't get that she punched him as affection. it wasn't always affection, sometimes frustration, or just a term of endearment. Sometimes out of anger even, but a lot of time, out if love.

Regardless, it was her abusive tendency and he didn't like it, and she grew up and learned to control it. She found what he needed, they met each other somewhere along those lines.

When Mom finished talking, I had this vague idea of what I'll tell Clayton when I call him tomorrow.

I can't wait to bring Mom home too. She'll be so ready. She is so ready.

-Gracie

Hmm... what shall I tackle next? I don't think you're going to love me. Proposal, or interuption? Hmmmm. Reviews are great!