Chapter 10: A Lion Still Has Claws

Time can come and take away the pain.
But I just want my memories to remain,
To hear your voice, to see your face.
There's not one moment I'd erase.
You are a guest here now.
So baby how can I forget your love?

- Regina Spektor

It was a beautiful, crisp, autumn day, and I was spending it with my favorite person on the planet. He wasn't much for conversation and he really wasn't much of a good listener—easily distracted by dogs and the affection of strangers—but his presence alone was enough to soothe and relax me and make me feel like everything was right with the world. Sure he was messy and I had to do just about everything for him, but when you had eyes like that, you could get anyone to do anything you wanted.

I stopped pushing the pram and leaned forward to adjust the small green hat on Leo's head. He was enjoying a pacifier, shielded from the sun, as we walked through Diagon Alley and I did some shopping. When I had mentioned that I wanted to get out of the flat, my mother had pounced, gifting me with an enormous list of odds and ends she needed from the area. I didn't mind it, though. Leo and I had been cooped up for so long and it was about time we did something fun, or at least fun compared to sitting in front of the telly all day or playing my ukulele for an often unreceptive audience of one.

He hadn't cried once the entire time that we'd been out and about—granted, we had only been out for two hours and who knew what could happen at the next couple stores we had to go to, but for now he seemed happy, his big eyes looking at all the shops we passed and smiling at the occasional shop-goer who would stop to coo over how adorable he was.

That was another thing I didn't mind.

I mean, the kid was fucking adorable.

I tapped his nose, making him laugh, and then I tickled his stomach with two of my fingers, laughing with him.

"Rose?"

I froze, immediately recognizing the aristocratic, smooth, somewhat haughty voice. I stood up and turned to face the direction I'd heard the voice come from.

"Mr. Malfoy."

I stared at what I knew had to be Scorpius's future.

The first time I had ever met Draco Malfoy, I had immediately recognized how similar he and Scorpius looked. Scorpius was a bit taller, more muscled, and obviously younger, but other than that, the similarities were endless. They had the exact same gray, aloof eyes, the same shade of white blonde hair, the same exact jawline, identical pointed noses, and when they were pleased with themselves, each had the mirror image of the other's cocky smile. It was frankly alarming how much they looked alike, and equally alarming how many features Leo already had in common with them.

He was looking at me coldly, which was a look I hadn't seen since the first time I'd met him when he realized I was Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger's daughter, when he realized Scorpius and I had started dating at Hogwarts, when he realized that his son was in love with me. But ever since that first meeting, he had warmed up to me and things had never been unpleasant since then, quite the opposite in fact. Whenever I saw him, he would hug me warmly and kiss my cheek. Whenever we talked, he would laugh at all my jokes, and it used to be our running joke that Scorpius didn't deserve me, and what was I doing with a fool like him?

None of that familiarity was there today. Instead all I saw was a man who clearly despised me.

He looked down at Leo.

"Is that him?" he asked without moving to greet me or show me any other kind of warmth or recognition.

My heart was beating uncomfortably in my chest—the anxiety creeping slowly into my heart and spreading out through the rest of my limbs. Trying to ignore my nerves, I glanced back at Leo who was eying the newcomer curiously. I moved to the side so that Mr. Malfoy could get a better look. "This is Leo."

He looked up at me, a question in his eyes, and I nodded. Then he stepped forward, the deep midnight blue robes he was wearing billowing a bit as he did so. Then he squatted in front of Leo and reached out to touch his tiny hand. All of his features softened.

"Hi Leo," he said gently. "I'm your Grandpa." My stomach swooped when he said the words, and when I watched Leo smile at him, my heart fluttered with happiness, rather than with the ripple of anxiety that had formerly caused the flutter. "God, you look just like Scorpius did," he said, more to himself than anything.

Mr. Malfoy looked up at me.

"Could you bring him by the Manor?" he asked, his coldness returning. "Astoria would love to meet him."

I nodded. "Sure. Yeah, of course."

He stood up, and he looked like he was going to turn to go, and I wanted to say something. I knew I should say something—apologize, beg forgiveness, make him understand—but I didn't know what I could say. I never meant for him or Astoria to get hurt during all of this—they had both been so amazing to me, but everything had just gotten out of control and they had been unfortunate casualties of my and Scorpius's mess.

Mr. Malfoy nodded at me and turned.

"Mr. Malfoy, wait."

He turned back, his eyebrows raised slightly in question.

"I'm sorry," I said stupidly. "I—for not telling you and Astoria. It… I don't know what else to say."

I visibly saw the tension leave his shoulders.

He sighed. "Scorpius was an idiot." He gave me a small, tight smile. "But you and I both knew the stupidity he was capable of."

I grinned at him.

"I just—" His smile slipped and he shrugged with one shoulder the exact way that Scorpius did. "I thought you and I… I don't know I guess I thought we had a good relationship."

"We did. We do," I said eagerly. "Of course we do."

"But I guess it was stupid of me to think that would continue after Scorpius left you."

I glanced at my feet. "He broke my heart," I said quietly, not knowing how else to explain myself.

"I know," I heard him say. "But you've changed so much since I met you. I thought—well, I was wrong—I guess I thought we had… an understanding… some mutual respect or something like that."

"Mr. Mal—"

"Draco," he corrected for what was probably the hundredth time since I'd known him.

"Draco, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he said with another shrug. "A lot of mistakes have been made because of this curse." He glanced down at Leo again and smiled. "Bring him by, will you?"

And without giving me a chance to respond like I wanted and needed to, he turned and walked swiftly away.

I waved my wand at the front door of the house I grew up in and as the door swung open. Then I flicked my wand at the bags of stuff I had for Hermione and watched as it floated through the door, and I pushed Leo and myself in after it.

"Ron! Hermione!" I called after I closed the door behind me.

I moved to unstrap Leo from his pram. His eyes were wide and he was searching his new surroundings. I held him against me and grinned down at him—it was the first time I had ever brought him to the house I grew up in. Of course, he had no idea and it would be years before he would understand, but it still felt comforting to be here and to have him here with me.

I was still feeling pretty raw from my conversation with Mr. Malfoy earlier, but I had done my best to try and put it out of my mind, knowing it would make no difference to dwell on it and let it consume me from the inside out, as it was threatening to do.

"Rose?"

I looked up and saw my father walking down the stairs, grinning at me happily.

"And you brought my grandson." He walked toward us and held out his arms for me to hand him Leo.

I handed him over, smiling as Leo looked up and smiled at his grandfather's warm face. "Where's Hermione?"

"She just went over to Harry and Ginny's," he said as he glanced down at the bags. "Did you do some shopping?" he asked.

"It's all for mum."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course it is."

"Why that woman needs peacock feather quills is honestly so beyond me," I said as I bent down to pick up the bags and bring them into the kitchen.

"You and me both." I heard Ron trailing behind me. When I set the bags down next to the table, I went to rummage for the tea kettle. My old kitchen was huge. It had marble countertops that Hermione had insisted on and stainless steel appliances. There was an island in the center of the kitchen with stools around it, one of which Ron had just occupied, and the large table was off to the side in its own little nook. The kitchen didn't match anything in the rest of the house that a more country cottage feel to it, but for some reason, Hermione was obsessed with this kitchen and had insisted on all of its amenities.

"I got a letter from Hugo," Ron said.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He asked how you were doing."

"I'm alive," I said with an eye roll as I pointed my wand at the stove to light it and put the kettle on. "Not that he would know."

Ron chuckled and shook his head as I took a seat across from him at the island.

My brother, Hugo, had just started his final year at Hogwarts, and I hated to admit that I missed him terribly. McGonagall had let him come visit me at the hospital right after Leo had been born, but he had had to go back shortly after. I hadn't thought it was possible, but he had gotten taller since I'd seen him. I was afraid if I blinked he would reach the two-meter mark. He had finally broken up with his horrible girlfriend, who I had hated, but he had refused to talk about it when he'd been back for those two days. But McGonagall had said he would be able to come back for Lucy and Nate's wedding in a few weeks and I fully intended on getting the scoop. The biggest part of me hoped that it had to do with Meg, the girl who had been in my year at Hogwarts who he had been seeing before, but I was too nervous that it didn't have to do with that so part of me feared asking.

"How was Diagon Alley?"

Leo was starting to fuss a bit, so I went back into the family room to get into his pram so I could grab one of the bottles I had prepared before I'd left this morning. "Good," I called behind me as I did so. I wanted to tell my father about the encounter with Mr. Malfoy, but I knew it would only upset him—to put it lightly—so it was a good thing he couldn't see my face because his question had triggered the memory that I had temporarily forgotten about.

When I brought the bottle back into the kitchen, I pointed my wand at the stove to shut off the kettle that had started the beginnings of a whistle, and I told my father to start feeding Leo while I went to the bathroom.

I had hoped that my mother would be home when I got here so that I could talk to her about the encounter with Mr. Malfoy. I needed her to comfort me and tell me that everything would be okay and that I had nothing to feel guilty about and that I had had my reasons. She would tell me that I didn't owe Draco Malfoy anything and if he wanted to be upset with me, that shouldn't make me upset because it was his problem. And I needed her to tell me that if his son hadn't been such an arsehole that maybe none of this would have even happened and that maybe Malfoy should have thought of that before he confronted me in Diagon Alley.

But she wouldn't say that, would she? No, my mother would tell me to try and see it from his perspective. And she would give me a look like she understood where he came from and that my issues with Scorpius had nothing to do with Draco and Astoria and they should be able to see their grandson. She wouldn't tell me I was wrong, but she wouldn't tell me I was right either. She might agree that he shouldn't have confronted me in Diagon Alley, but she wouldn't blame him for it.

And she would be right.

I looked up into the mirror and stared at my reflection. My skin looked a bit brighter than it had in a long time. I had circles under my eyes, but my skin wasn't nearly as pale as it had been before Leo was born, and I had even run a brush through my hair before going out today. My freckles stood out a little more than usual because of bit of sun I had gotten from walking around outside today and it made me look happier, more alive. I was about to look away when I noticed the mark right above my collarbone.

I leaned forward and tilted my head a bit to get a better look. I brought two fingers up and touched it tenderly. Immediately, I was brought back to two nights previous when I was straddled on Scorpius's lap, the familiar feel of him hard and pressing into me taking me to a level of ecstasy that I hadn't experienced in months. I was taken back to the feel of his mouth on my neck, the sound of my breath coming out in puffs, trying to get myself under control but knowing that with him I had none. I never had. I remembered smelling him, I remembered pulling off his shirt—needing to see more of him—and seeing that body that I hadn't seen in so long—too long—the body that had been driving me crazy since I had known him. I remembered seeing him holding Leo against his bare chest, looking beautiful, and I remembered the hurt look he had worn when he had handed me the letter he'd written. I remembered the letter.

We face these challenges and we become crippled with our fear, and our inability to withstand the challenges makes us even more afraid.

He was afraid. I was afraid. But when I had been back in his arms, I had felt unafraid for the first time since he had left me. I knew I needed to stop because if I didn't I would have surrendered. I would have given into him, and I knew it wasn't time yet. I knew I still needed time to think, and I needed to focus on Leo, which I had been doing fairly well since he had been born two weeks ago. I had to remember Leo.

I forgot you were strong. I forgot who you are.

He'd also forgotten the words he said to me when he left. Words that I remembered. Words that still stung me even now, despite him telling me that he had made it all up to protect me, or whatever he thought he was doing.

"Everything with you is hard. Nothing can ever just be simple… It's just too hard, Rose, and I can't take it anymore."

I shook my head and bent down to splash a bit of water on my face. I dabbed my face with the towel hanging next to the sink, and I refused to think about this anymore.

But I wanted to tell my father what had happened because he would tell me that everything would be okay. And I didn't know when my mother would be back, and I needed comfort.

When I got back into the kitchen I saw a steaming mug sitting at the place I'd been sitting and my father feeding Leo. I smiled and sat down across from him, watching two of the people I loved most in the world. I looked up at my father, suddenly remembering not too long ago when I had thought I was going to lose him. I remembered how terrifying and heart-breaking it had been, and I remembered that Scorpius had been there for me the entire time, even when I didn't realize it. I don't know what I would do without my father, and Scorpius had known that.

"What's wrong, Cheeks?" Ron asked, looking up at me.

"Hm?"

"I'm not very good at reading women, as your mother and aunt constantly tell me, but I think I'm pretty good at reading you," he said with a small frown. "And you're upset. If you weren't you would have just dropped off your mother's stuff and left, but instead you decided to have tea with your dad. What's wrong?"

I sighed and took a swig of the tea. It soothed me immediately and I set it down and looked at Leo. "I saw Draco Malfoy in Diagon Alley."

I felt my father's intense stare. I wrapped my hands around my teacup, still watching Leo. He was my source of comfort.

"He was upset that I didn't tell him about Leo," I said softly. I blinked slowly. "I mean, I understand his frustration, but he—"

"What did he say to you?"

I exhaled deeply. "He was just upset. Said he thought we had a mutual respect."

Ron scoffed.

"Dad."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Malfoy has always been a self-righteous prat. Don't let him upset you."

"But he's right, isn't he?"

"About what?" he said, barely masking the anger in his voice. I was sure that had he not had Leo in his arms, he would have been much more enraged. "The fact that his tosser of a son left you for no reason and then decided to come back and thought that everything would be fine?"

"Well—"

"I know I said he still loves you, and I think he does, but that doesn't change what he did. Did Malfoy expect you to—what?—keep in touch?"

"It's not that simple," I said quietly, words that seemed to be my new mantra. I looked up at him.

"Seems to me like that's all there is."

"No…" I said slowly. "It isn't."

And then I launched into everything. I told him about Scorpius coming over to my flat the other night—obviously I left out the more… torrid parts—I told him about the curse, about Cepheus and Eydís. I told him what it meant—how if a Malfoy man married a woman he loved, the moment they married, the woman would stop loving him. I told him how it was the reason that generations of Malfoy's had had arranged marriages. I told him how Scorpius had thought he was taking away some kind of future that he thought I wanted or needed or something. I told him how Scorpius was sorry and how he had gone to America to try and find a cure.

When I finished, I noticed that my father looked pale. He was looking in my direction, but I got the feeling that he wasn't really seeing me. His eyes were slightly glazed, and he looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Ron?" I said hesitantly. "Dad?"

Ron's gaze snapped to me as if he had just remembered I was sitting there. "This curse has affected generations of Malfoy's for over a thousand years?"

I nodded, and his far off look returned. I walked around the island, picked up the small towel sitting on it and took Leo out of my father's arms. I rested him on my chest and gently started to pat his back.

"Are you okay?" I asked Ron as I walked back over to the other side of the island.

Ron swallowed, looked up at me, and cleared his throat. Then he put on what I recognized as a fake smile. I recognized it because it was the mirror image of my own. "Fine. Just angry about what Malfoy said to you."

I shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"Sure," he said, getting up and turning away. "Fine." Then he left the room with me sitting there, a confused frown on my face.

A/N: Okay so I lied Sunday about having it up that night. Sorry! Unexpected interference, as they say (no one says that). Anyway, the next chapter will be up really soon, but there won't be a preview for spoiler reasons... But just let me say two things about the next chapter: 1) some of you may hate me for it but plz don't! 2) it might be the best chapter of fanfiction I have ever written in my life (no pressure, right?). I'm certainly the most proud of this chapter more than any other ever. So just hold your breath until the next one. Lylylyly you are all amazing.

P.S. I said this on my tumblr, but I wanted to say it here, too. I'm thinking of writing some drabbles. I've never done it before but I think drabbles are just as hard, if not harder, than writing full length fic. So I want to try it and it will be fun! If you have ideas/suggestions, send me a message on tumblr and I will come up with something and post it on there. If I get enough I might put it all together on here. Any pairings are welcome (... okay maybe not ANY pairings. But any pairings that aren't weird like Hogwarts/Giant Squid or shit like that).