Chapter 10:

The Village of the Jungle

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FE: Oh, oh, I've got a good one! So, a meat stick, a drunken gambler, and a guy with a handlebar mustache named Giovanni walk into a bar.

BAM BAM BAM

George: What's that? Kirby, did you order pizza again?

Kirby: No, man, I got Chinese today.

George: Huh. I'll get the door.

Two guys in suits: Wii would like to play.

FE: What?

Guy1: Oh, sorry wrong scenario.

Guy2: We're representatives from Nintendo and Hal, and we've come to place you under arrest.

FE: On what grounds, officers?

Guy1: Well, you had no disclaimer in your story, so we believed that you were attempting to steal our ideas.

FE: What?! I would never do that! I thought bad jokes would be more entertaining for viewers!

Guy2: Yeah, tell it to the judge, punk.

FE: Come on, man. This ai'nt fair. This sucks.

(Gets forcibly escorted out and away)

Kirby and George look at each other.

Kirby: Should we have said something?

George: Nah, he's fine. He'll be back by the end of the chapter.

Kirby: Ok. Let's hope so.

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It was dark. Nothing could be heard around Kirby but the moving of people and the rustling of leaves. Kirby could swear he could hear George and Peanuts, but he couldn't see anything. He soon realized the problem. His eyes were closed. He opened them and things became more not dark. Kirby sat up. He was on a crude bed inches above the ground. Kirby was inside of a small wooden hovel made out of entangled logs and vines. The door opened. Standing in the doorway was a woman with clothes and a headdress made almost entirely out of colorful feathers, holding a woven basket full of blankets.

"Jou awaycken!" She greeted Kirby with a heavy, unknown accent. "I gesh leeder, jes?" She dropped the baskets near the bed and scurried out of the hut. Kirby yawned. "Uggh… What happened last night?" He rubbed the tiny but probably criminally insane sleepies out of his eyes and looked around. Around him was not much, aside from a threadbare rug and a large, simple chest. Kirby scratched his forehead and suddenly was struck with pain. He had a very large, rounded, distended bump on his forehead. Probably from where Kirby passed out and fell over. He jumped out from his bed and opened the chest with a creeeeeak. Inside were the Potato of Infinite Strength and a leather sack. Kirby took out the potato and examined it. It smelled, unsurprisingly, like a baked potato. Kirby suddenly had a temptation to eat it, but the feeling quickly passed. How could he control the potato's power twice in a row with only minor injuries caused to him? The odds were incredibly high that he wouldn't be this lucky again, and Kirby would have to be careful. Kirby then put the potato in his …pocket? And grunted as he lugged out the sack. Inside was Geraldo's blade. Kirby gasped and threw it down with a loud clang. "Geraldo…" He whispered. What had caused him to do this? Who was his "king" he wouldn't freaking shut up about? Why do I have so many questions? Kirby put these questions in the back of his mind for later and shoved the sword back in the sack and put it under his bed.

Kirby suddenly was worried. "Where are George and Peanuts?" He asked no absolutely no one. "Where's my breakfast in bed?!" He asked again. The door opened again as the tribal woman came back in with a large man, dressed in various pelts and feathers. Kirby and the fat man stared at each other for a while, until the leader spoke up. "What da heyl jou want? I be Flying Feathered Badger, who jou?"

Kirby cleared his throat, trying desperately not to laugh at the man's name. "I'm Kirby. My friends and I came all the way here from the city to find someone named Rygari. And, well, some breakfast and cable TV would be good if you had any."

"Jah, de gray village. Not veddy good for mai peeples. Veddy smelly." The leader said. "Rygari is here. He is magic. Jou may shee him if jou vant. Visitors ar velcome here. Ve take care of jou." He flashed a grin as he valked-walked out. The woman came towards Kirby's bed and helped him out. "Jou vant to see jour frends, rayght?" She asked. "Come." She helped Kirby out of his bed and out the door.

As he stepped out into the light, Kirby could finally see outside. Other villagers were walking about, doing various chores and duties. A larger hut was next to Kirby's, which the two entered. Kirby sighed a sigh of relief as he caught sight of Peanuts. He was sitting in a small chair with a gigantic bandage wrapped around his head. He was holding a cup of instant mac-n-cheese, and he quickly looked up at Kirby. "Ooga!" He shrieked happily. Kirby smiled with tears of joy in his eyes as he ran to embrace him. "Peanuts, you're alright!" Kirby said to him. He turned around. "Where's George?" Kirby asked to the woman. She walked over to a cloth used as a door and pulled it to the side. Kirby went inside.

There were smoldering candles everywhere, and the smell of burning herbs and incense was overwhelming. There were no windows in the room, so it was very dark, and the only thing visible was a large bed. Kirby looked at the woman. She nodded at him. Kirby tiptoed through the room towards the bed. He leaned over the covers and examined the figure lying in the bed. "… George?"

…..

(DRAMATIC PAUSE)

…..

"…Kirby…?" George whispered.

Kirby suddenly grew a huge smile as he embraced George… Wow, Kirby can't do many things with those stubs for arms… Well, he sorta just patted him on the head and slapped him around in the process as Peanuts nuzzled him.

"Hesh paruhlized on wun sayde and hash other injuries." The tribal woman garbled to Kirby. "Sword damaeged heem badly, is a meericle he survived."

George slowly looked up at Peanuts and Kirby with his half-open eyes. "Hey." He mumbled, "How're you doing…? You find cough Rygari?" George muttered flatly, eyeing Kirby and Peanuts with a sickly grin.

"Hey, you don't worry about that; just relax here until you feel better, alright?" Kirby assured him as he grinned with that cute Nintendo/Anime smile. KAWAII!!!

erhem Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Peanuts hopped up on the bed and reassured sure he George with a smile. George couldn't help but chuckle at him. "Alright," George finally said, "Just promise me you'll find Rygari."

"You have my solemn word." Kirby said, placing his right hand on his heart. He turned to the tribal woman. "So, where is Rygari anyway?" The woman gestured Peanuts and Kirby to follow her out the door as Kirby waved to George. After he left the room, George sighed. "Damn. Kirby's gonna get killed." He slumped down and groaned. "Y'know, I can imagine Kirby sleeping in a bed like this for a couple days…" He smiled as he slowly drifted off to sleep….

The woman bounded towards a much larger metal fortress to the north of the village. "Wow," Kirby gasped, "You'd think I'd notice something like that."

"So, what's Rygari doing out here anyway?" Kirby asked the woman. "Vell," She replied, "Rygari vas verking in dee citee, but hesh never mayde enny progress. Hesh left dee citee and vee found heem out heere. Vee velcomed heem in, and hesh lived here shince." Kirby was confuzzled. "Wha?" He asked, bewildered. The woman rolled her eyes and kept walking.

The three struggled to open the door and stumbled inside. "Holy Chris Brown!" Kirby exclaimed. There were big colorful lights and shiny buttons and blinking switches all around. Kirby attempted to resist pressing all of them at once. Up ahead was another reinforced door with an intercom on it. Kirby dashed up to it before the woman could make a motion to it. He pressed the button and spoke into it. "Uh, yeah. I'll take a bacon double cheeseburger with extra bacon and extra double… Uhh… Peanuts, you want anything?"

"Ooga ooga, oog!"

"Oh, and a kids meal with a side salad… Featherlady, what about you?" The woman angrily pushed Kirby out of the way. "Soddy, sir, de code ees: 3027." She spoke into the microphone. Kirby suddenly spoke up. "$30.27 for a burger?! That's outrageous!" Peanuts nudged him to STFU. 'F' stands for fudge, if you were wondering. A voice was heard from the speaker. "Very well. You may enter." It sounded deep and broad and mysterious. Like those crappy abstract paintings with all the infinite stairs and whatnot. The door seemed to fling open like magic as a much larger room was revealed. Inside was a large computer with someone sitting at the controls. Kirby and Peanuts gasped. "Are you… Rygari?" Kirby asked the figure. Suddenly the desk chair spun around and revealed a figure about the size of Kirby. He was covered in high-tech metal armor with a jet-propulsion system strapped to his back. He had a visor too. Visors are cool.

"It is common courtesy to introduce yourself before asking someone else's name." The figure instructed Kirby. Kirby stood in one place looking around until the woman nudged him. "Oh. What? Yeah. Sorry," He slurred. "I am Kirby. I come from the planet of Popstar. This is my associate, Mr. Peanuts. I met him-" Kirby was cut off. "Yes, yes. Details do bore me." Rygari interrupted.

"Uhmm… Ok?" Kirby questioned.

Rygari sighed and continued talking. "Yes, I am the one you are looking for. I suppose you have a reason for wanting to see me?"

Kirby cleared his throat. "Of course, sir. We, that is, me, Peanuts, and my friend George, are on an epic fanfic quest to stop the Shadow from engulfing the world in darkness. We were wondering if you would join us in our mission. We could use some technic-"

Kirby was cut off again. "Yes, yes, blah, blah." Rygari said. Kirby was getting kinda pissed. "So, will you help us?" Rygari was silent for a moment, then turned back around in his chair and resumed work. "Are you just going to ignore me, you stubborn jerk?" Kirby shouted at him. Suddenly the woman gasped and covered Kirby's mouth. "Not a veddy gud mouve…" She whispered in Kirby's ear. The chair whirled around as Rygari stormed out of it and toward the three. They backed up in fear. "You dare bark at me in that tone, fool?!" Rygari boomed. "Do you have no idea who I am?!" Rygari was breathing right into Kirby's face. "Uhmm, I'm r-really s-s-sorry, sir," Kirby panted, sweat dripping down his body. "I j-just lost my temper." Suddenly Rygari calmed down. He sighed. "Very well." Rygari put his hand on his forehead. "I lost control too." He stepped over to a window, and with his back facing them, finally said what Kirby had been waiting for. FREE CAKE! Well, not really. It was what Kirby had been hoping for, anyway. Rygari had agreed to join their team. Kirby and Peanuts both jumped up in the air. "Whoo-hoo!"

"However…" Rygari interrupted AGAIN. Peanuts and Kirby looked very disappointed. He walked back to his chair and hopped up in it. "I am not completely sure that you are worthy of my talents. I have some… Tasks… That need to be done. If you can complete them, I will join you in your quest."

Kirby's laziness reflex quickly kicked in. "Awww… How many?"

Rygari glanced at him. "Five."

Kirby groaned. "Uuugghhh…"

He sighed. "Four."

"UUUuuughhh…"

"Three!"

"UUUUunggghhh…"

"Godamnit, man! Fine, two tasks!"

"Uuunghh-Ok, fine." Kirby finally agreed.

"Ok. The first task involves disposing of monsters. They are those chameleon things that give you paint power in Kirby Superstar for SNES. They have stolen a very precious component from one of my latest creations, and I need it back."

Kirby sighed a sigh of relief. "Well, that's not too hard."

"Oh, and by the way, they've evolved. Chameleons apparently evolve at one-hundred times the speed any other creature does. They now have heavy plate armor and paint cannons." Rygari scribbled something down on a piece of paper and shoved it in Kirby's hands. "Here are the coordinates of their lair, good luck!" Rygari hurrily grabbed them by the pants and forcefully ejected them out of his house quicker than you can say "Kirby doesn't wear pants." Kirby and Peanuts looked at each other. "Crap." Kirby moaned.

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(FE gets shoved back into the writer's station)

Guy1: Now I hope you've learned a lesson about plagiarism today, Mr. Kirby-kidnapper-pants!

Guy2: Next time you do that we're gonna have to go to extreme measures.

Mario: (Cracks his knuckles) I'm watchin you, punk! Hey, Kirby!

Kirby: How's it hangin, bra? Tell the wife and kids I said hi, ok?

Mario: Will do, pal! (Glances at FE)

Slams door

George: What happened to you?

FE: (Crying) I don't wanna talk about it…

Kirby: Well, that's what you get for kidnapping us!

FE: I really hate both of you, ya know that?

George: Aww, I love you too, man!

Kirby: We're all one big crappy family!

Group hug

FE: Get your nubs offa me! Uggh… Why did I take this job anyway?

Kirby: Because you love us, silly!
George: You really can't deny it.

FE: Yes I can, get off me! Arrgh! (Sigh)