In Stella's opinion, it was completely unfair that she didn't pass out on the way down after she fell. She knew that both in the book and in the movie, Bilbo was blessed with unconsciousness after he did. But no, Stella felt everything after she fell. She felt every scrape on her arms and legs, every pounding hit on her head, and every loud beat of her heart.
After she fell roughly onto a troop of bizarre looking mushrooms, she was immediately assaulted by the fall of numerous bags and weapons that were taken from the Company. Once everything seemed to be over, she held a hand up to her head and grimaced as she felt the blood that was caked to her face.
Stella pushed herself up with her shaky arms and tried to slowly sit up. She didn't consider herself medically trained or anything anymore but she thought she remembered enough from her health classes to diagnose herself with whatever was wrong with her.
Head injury? Check.
Headache? Check.
Blurred vision? Check.
Nausea? Check.
Balance issues? (She tested this one out by trying to stand up and immediately had to slide back down to the floor.) Check.
"I'm fairly alarmed here," Stella spoke softly to herself. "I am alone. Shit, I'm alone in the dark. I hate the dark. I'm experiencing signs and symptoms of a mild concussion."
It had been a while since she took her first aid class. She could remember the signs of a concussion but she could not remember how to treat one. It was with a disappointed sigh that she remembered that forgetfulness was a sign of a concussion as well.
"Okay, Stella, my girl, you can do this." Her whispers carried in the cavern and she could only hope that nothing heard her. "Just get up and keep talking and keep walking and maybe you'll get out of here."
After taking a moment to gather her strength, Stella slowly stood up and took a few wobbly steps forward. Where was the exit? Left or right? Her eyes flickered back and forth. There was no sound where she was, save for her own breathing. She took a moment to look back up, wondering how far she had fallen if she couldn't hear any commotion from up above. She stood absolutely still as she tried to figure out where to go. If she made the wrong decision, she could be stuck there until she died of starvation or was killed. She tried not to think about it. It seemed like an age had passed until she finally felt it.
There was a soft tickle on her arm. She shivered as she felt a cool breeze kiss the blood all over her. Hoping that she would be on her way to safety, Stella would have to turn left.
Before she began to wander away, Stella took some time to rifle through all the things that had fallen with her. There were a few bags but Stella could probably carry no more than two or three. She emptied out a few to repack before she sorted everything out.
"Really?" she scoffed. "Fucking dwarves. Let's go kill a dragon and a few orcs but can't forget our fucking flutes."
She froze at her irritable statement before snorting to herself. She was one to talk. She had been obsessing over carrying Zo's violin almost as much as he was. Speaking of which…
Stella rustled through the mushroom patch until she felt the familiar roughness of Zo's violin case. She closed her eyes and sighed in relief as she splayed her hand across the case. Zo would be happy. And her friend's happiness mattered to her, so no matter what she had to leave behind, that violin would not be one of them.
She rolled up a few blankets into two backpacks and packed as much food as she could as well. Hidden underneath some clothes, Stella found Ori's journal and neatly packed that, too. There were a few knives that had to belong to Fili and there was also a curious little pack filled with long needles that Stella suspected belonged to Nori. The knives she hooked into her belt and she shoved the needle pack into her tunic. She found a neat case that held bandages and vials of various plants that she assumed could only be Oin's.
As she was packing, Stella gasped when her fingers brushed against a familiar small and rectangular shape. She pressed a smaller button at the top and after a moment, the dark cavern was filled with a blinding, white light. Stella swiped her thumb across the touch screen of Zo's phone with cruel familiarity.
Ever since they arrived, Stella and Zo agreed to turn their phones off. There was no point in leaving them on. They clearly would not be able to call anybody and all their apps seemed pointless without WiFi connection. But as Stella browsed through Zo's phone, just for comfort's sake, she felt the pang in her heart that she was becoming familiar with. After turning the screen off, Stella searched for her own phone. She might not be able to use it ever again but maybe if she swore Ori to secrecy, she could get him to copy a picture of her family members on paper.
Beyond that, nothing seemed entirely important. So Stella packed the necessities and selfishly packed her mythology book before she hooked two backpacks over her shoulders and carried her staff in one hand. She gazed what was left over with one last glance, feeling slightly guilty that she could not carry everything, before turning around and making her way down the tight corners underneath the Mountains.
She walked for what seemed like hours, maybe even days. It may very well have been but with her concussion and the deafening silence, she could not be entirely sure. All she knew was that she was tired, alone, and in the dark.
There was nothing she could do about the darkness, much to her chagrin, but she could make the silence a bit more tolerable. So to pass the time and calm herself down, Stella continued talking to herself and added a few songs in between. She switched back and forth between any songs that popped into her head. She never made it through an entire song before she moved on to another. She sang every song she could think of and hummed a few that didn't exist, except to her. She dared not sleep.
She cut herself off when she finally heard something besides her own voice. Somewhere around her, Stella heard soft rustling and maybe the sound of feet on stone. She slowly curled her shoulders forward before shaking her head, wincing as the motion made her head ache, and straightening out her back. She dropped the bags to the floor and moved into the proper position with her staff in front of her.
All the shuffling quieted and then shifted into loud snarling as a heavy body landed on top of her when the attack came from above. Stella screamed the goblin on top of her tackled her down, making her staff roll away, and pulled her by her hair. The goblin used its grip on her hair to bring her head up before smashing her face back into the ground. She was momentarily stunned and there was a silly voice in the back of her mind that reminded her of second-impact syndrome in the case of concussions.
Before the goblin could rear her head back for another blow, Stella regained her senses and slammed her elbow into its gut so it would release her. Though it let go of her, it would not allow her enough time to stand back up. Stella could only turn around on her back until it tackled her once more.
The two of them rolled around on the floor with the goblin trying to the best of its ability to cut Stella open with its crude knife. Stella clenched her eyes shut when the goblin shoved its hideous face closer to growl at hers. She couldn't help by grimace when she felt its spittle on her face. On reflex, Stella bat the goblin's face away from hers, unaware that her jagged nails cut open its skin.
As the goblin jumped away from her to clutch at its face, Stella nervously pat the ground around her until she felt the hilt of one of the knives that had fallen from her belt. She pushed herself to her knees and screamed again as the goblin rushed toward her.
When she didn't feel any more pain, Stella slowly peeked one eye open. She gasped once she caught sight of the dagger dug deep into the goblin's chest. Both them slowly looked up from the knife to look into each other's eyes. Without thinking, Stella quickly yanked the knife out and the goblin stumbled back, clutching its wound with dirty hands.
"I'm sorry," Stella said as warm tears fell down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to."
But the goblin did nothing but growl at her before its breathing grew heavier and slower. It kept its eyes on her as she continued to watch in terror. Just as quickly as it started, the light faded from the goblin's eyes and it stopped breathing.
With a horrified gasp, Stella fell back onto her bottom and covered her mouth to scream into her hands. She bent over her knees and rocked back and forth as she sobbed. No matter what she said or did, no matter who she purposefully pestered, Stella never considered herself to be a violent person. And in the blink of an eye, she became a killer.
Even if she could go back, how could Stella ever face her parents again? How could she ever think about seeing Telma, who was more of a pacifist than Stella was, when she buried a knife into another living being's heart? What would Uri and Ruth say if she told them that she watched something die? What would Nola and Sierra think when they realized that as much as Stella hated herself for it, she couldn't bring herself to regret what she did?
That last thought proved to be too much for Stella to handle. She quickly turned on her knees and let the vomit spill from her lips. She continued to heave until all she had left to throw up was bile and dry gags. Once she was convinced she was done, she slumped back down and began to pull at her hair as she continued to cry.
Logically, she knew she would have to come across a fight at some point. After reading the book and watching the movies multiple times, it was only a matter of time until she stumbled across one. Elrohir and Dwalin trained her for it, after all. But she never thought she would actually have to kill something and she never even considered for a moment that she would have to do it alone.
When she could more or less calm down, Stella pointedly kept her gaze away from the goblin's body as she shakily re-gathered her things. She stopped at the end of the tunnel and almost turned back before sniffling and readjusting her grip on the packs and continued walking.
Stella had no more songs to sing after that. She ignored the silence and kept her eyes on her feet as she kept following the breeze. It wasn't until she realized after she turned another corner that she noticed the darkness receding. She allowed herself to hold a little hope and quickened her pace. And then she was blinded by the glorious light.
She lightly jogged down a tunnel and stumbled onto a mountainside. She glanced around and soaked in the sight of lush trees and laughed to herself. She made it. She would never again be the woman she was on the other side of the Mountains but she made it. They still had miles to go and orcs to fight and spiders – oh, god, the spiders – but she survived goblins. She was alive.
The farther she walked downhill, the more she had to accept that she was the first to make it out of the mountain. At some point, Stella let the bags and her staff fall down onto the floor and she slumped against a huge overturned tree. She wearily closed her eyes and dry swallowed. She wasn't sure which bothered her more: her lack of sleep or her dehydration. She thought it best to keep her mind focused on that instead of what she did in the caves.
She kept her mind blank as the sun began to set. She distantly could feel the breeze blowing her hair against her arms but she kept her gaze focused straight ahead. Her congealed blood was beginning to make her head itch. She vaguely recalled that she never bothered to wipe her face free of her blood, sweat, tears, and vomit. But nothing seemed important anymore.
At least not until she heard the sound of running footsteps behind her. She stiffened at the familiar sound until she realized that it wasn't the sound of just one person, but multiple. She slowly turned around to and was immediately met by the sight of a ruffled Balin. He staggered to a stop and blinked in surprise at the sight of her and opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by somebody else.
"Stella, my girl!" Bofur called out.
At the sound of his voice, Stella immediately burst into tears again. She stumbled forward with her arms outstretched to him until he crashed into her. She was sure that she covered his coat with her blood as she buried her face into his neck but she didn't care and she had a feeling he didn't either. His grip around her waist was just as tight as her hold around his shoulders was.
"I was so scared," she cried. "I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."
"It's okay," Bofur shushed her as he gently rocked her back and forth. "We're here for you now."
"Stell," Lorenzo's soft voice carried above them. "Stella, please, let go of the knife."
It wasn't until she felt Zo's hands peeling her fingers apart that she realized that in all that time, she never once let go of the knife that killed the goblin. At the sight of bloody knife, Stella couldn't help but push away from Bofur and bend over to dry heave again. As Bofur and Zo helped her down, she made a high-pitched keen in her throat as she tilted her head on Zo's shoulder. He smelled like dirt, blood, and sweat but he lacked his usual scent of tobacco. She found that she missed it.
As Bofur pushed her hair back and used a ripped off piece of his pocket to clean up her face, Ori kneeled in front of her and clasped one of Stella's hands in his.
"There's not a dwarf here who would judge you. It was either you or them in there," he told her gently.
She had a hard time focusing on him as he spoke. After much concentration, she finally brought her gaze up to meet his.
"For what it's worth," he smiled sweetly at her, "I'm glad you did what you had to so you could live."
Stella sniffled before returning a warbled smile. "Thanks, Ori."
After waving away the offered hands of Ori and Zo, Stella leaned up against Bofur as she stood up. Gandalf was muttering to himself and the others were congregating, wondering what to do next.
As she walked forward, she gestured to the two packs on the ground. "I found some things after I fell. I grabbed what I could but I had to leave a lot behind."
There was some joy to be heard as a few dwarves rummaged through the bags but there were a few moans of dismay of what was lost. Stella ignored the latter with a clench of her jaw before she began removing the knives from her belt.
"For god's sake, Fili, how many knives do you have?" she shook her head at him.
"I have a few more under my coat," he said cheekily with a smirk as he accepted them back. "Care for a peek?"
"Don't make me throw up again," she answered wryly before spinning around. "Nori, I think these are yours."
A few dwarves sputtered as Stella reached inside of her tunic but Nori calmly held out his hand. After she placed the needle pack into his palm, his eyes widened and he quickly glanced at the exposed skin of her chest.
"None of these poked you, did they?" he frantically asked.
She pulled her shirt forward and glanced down at her chest before shaking her head. "Nothing. Why?"
"Girl, these are poisonous darts," he waved the pack around.
Stella narrowed her eyes at him. "You are suspicious, aren't you?"
He shrugged his shoulders and gave her an innocent look she didn't believe for a minute.
"And here I thought I couldn't like you any more," her lips twitched. "Sneaky, sneaky."
"Hey," he pulled her back by the hand. "Thanks for this. And for Ori's journal."
She winked at him as she wandered away. Zo made his way to her side as the argument between Gandalf and Thorin began to increase in volume. Throwing his hands up in the air, Gandalf turned away from Thorin and addressed the entire group.
"Tell me again what happened. Where is Bilbo?" he demanded to know.
"Oh, he's just doing a little something," Stella waved a hand. "He's fine. He'll be here soon."
At once, everyone turned to look at her. She merely raised an eyebrow but Zo slightly pushed her behind him.
"You knew?" Dori asked in disbelief. "All that happened, you knew?"
"I think you're all dismissing the whole Seer thing," Stella lifted her head away from Zo's arm but could not bring herself to totally pull away.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Bombur asked.
"Because I couldn't risk it."
"Couldn't risk it?" Thorin repeated. "Your duty is to the Company's safety!"
"My duty is to Middle Earth!" she argued.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Dwalin stepped forward.
"It means that something more than you can possibly comprehend is happening and Bilbo is just the beginning!"
"Your hobbit is gone!" Thorin spat out.
"No, he is not!"
"Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he first stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing your hobbit again. He is long gone."
"Of course he's thought of nothing but home. Use your head, Thorin! This entire quest is just you thinking of home," Stella exclaimed in exasperation as she ripped herself out of Zo's arms. "Don't you dare make him feel ashamed for being just as homesick as you are! You should feel grateful that he came this far!"
"Why should I feel gratitude for someone who left?" Thorin shouted back. "He's gone!"
"No, he isn't," a voice Stella had been waiting to hear spoke up.
She whirled around and cried, "Bilbo!" before she ran to him and pulled him into her arms.
Bilbo was trembling as he curled himself into Stella's hug. The buttons were ripped off his vest and there more than a few tears on his pants legs. His precious curls were matted near the back and there was dirt all over his face but overall, he seemed to be just fine. After he pulled away, he gave the rest of the Company a relieved smile as nodded at all of them. When nobody but Gandalf and Stella were paying proper attention, Bilbo stealthily slipped a shiny thing into his waistcoat pocket.
Gandalf and Stella shared a serious glance before turning away. She leaned down to place her chin on top of Bilbo's head and held him in her arms from behind. It was at that moment Thorin took the opportunity to throw his ire at the hobbit.
"So, burglar, what were you doing that was so important that our Seer felt the need to keep information about goblins from the rest of us?"
Bilbo slowly turned his head back up to look at her with a dirty glare. Stella only smiled innocently and held a finger up to her mouth, not caring that everyone saw. With a clenched jaw, Bilbo stiffly turned back to the expectant Company.
"I was in the caves but not under Stella's instruction," he lifted his chin up. "And I found something rather important while I was in there."
"What did you find?" Gandalf peered closely at the hobbit.
Bilbo licked his lips as Stella lightly squeezed his shoulders. "I found my courage."
Only three people spared a smile for Bilbo's brave statement and none of them were dwarves. As such, it came to no surprise that Thorin again stepped up.
"That may very well be good but did you not even consider leaving us?"
Bilbo blinked once and tilted his head. "I know you doubt me. I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag End. That's home. And that's why I came back, because you don't have one. But I will help you take back your home if I can."
Thorin looked at Bilbo in a way that he never had before. But before anybody could say any more, the sound of a howl ran a chill up Stella's spine. She had not heard any wargs since she came across hem on her first day. It had been two months since then but it was not long enough.
Without sparing any time, Zo scooped up his violin case and Stella's backpack before grabbing Stella's wrist and running off downhill. There was a shout behind them and then the sound of the Company following behind. The snarling and shouting was getting louder behind them. Stella briefly remembered that Bilbo might very well need help at that moment but with Zo pulling her along, she couldn't turn around to check.
They did not make it very far when they came to a stop due to the sudden drop of a cliff. Zo and pushed Stella up so she could climb into a tree before he scrambled up to join her. They weren't far along when the dwarves followed suit. Stella watched in horror as Bilbo was the last to scurry up a tree with a warg close at his heels. It was not until everyone was settled on branches that the figures emerged from the trees.
"Oh, this really cannot be good," Zo breathed into Stella's ear.
"It's not," she confirmed grimly. "I suggest going higher and staying close to the trunk."
With a bitten curse, Zo followed her instruction. Stella could not recognize anything the orc was saying but it was all too clear by Thorin's shocked face who it was. She had hoped that the situation would follow the book and that Azog would be dead but it seemed Fate was laughing at the Company.
Fate laughed even harder when Stella heard the groan of the tree trunk. On reflex, she wrapped her arms around the trunk of the tree when she saw the tree the dwarves were on start to lean backwards. Zo heard her small whimper and shifted around so he could sit behind her. His long fingers tried to slip between her palms and the tree trunk to hold her hand. When he found that she would not ease her grip, he settled for tightly wrapping his arms around her waist. She kept her face hidden against the tree and it was only the rumbling of the branches around her that she knew that the Company had jumped from their tree to the one Stella and Zo was on.
When Gandalf started throwing lit pinecones, the Company was startled into action. A few pinecones made their way to Stella and she passed them along to Zo with a yelp as the embers burned her tender fingertips. The dwarves began to cheer when the wargs were pushed back by the fire on the ground. But their cheers turned to cries when the tree began to fall. Stella knew that the tree would fall but she wasn't ready for it. It was all too soon after her tumble in the goblin caves.
Stella whimpered again when she felt the open air beneath her dangling legs. Above her, she could hear Dori and Ori calling out for Gandalf. When Dwalin yelled out, Stella nervously peered out to see Thorin running back towards Azog.
"I am going to kick him when we get out of this," Stella growled into the wood.
"Get in line," Zo said just as angrily.
Despite her anger, Stella could not help but cry out when she noticed the small figure of her favorite hobbit rush into the danger. Heaven help Thorin when he woke up later. He always made people want to impress him. It could have been admirable if she wasn't so horrified about it. Dwalin, who was so unlike her tatay but she could not help comparing the two, and Fili and Kili, who were so much like Uri, joined Bilbo with swords raised high and battle cries on their lips. She could not see much of what was going on but she heard every shout, every clash of swords, and every snarl.
It was almost a relief when Dori and Ori fell. Help had arrived and, god, Stella was not ready for the sudden drop but she really needed to leave that wretched mountain. One Eagle after another grabbed members of the Company before flying off.
"Ready?" Zo asked her as they stood up with shaky legs on the tree branch.
She was exhausted. She was hungry. She was angry. But most of all, she was scared. "No."
"Ditto," Zo nodded as he interlocked his fingers with hers.
Despite their preparation to jump, she could feel Zo's tension as she locked her knees and clenched her eyes tightly shut. She had much rather not to be attacked by orcs but she would also much rather not jump off a tree down a cliff with the hopes that an Eagle might catch her. However, that day proved that Stella would not get what she wanted at all for an Eagle came swooping down and pushed her out of the tree.
"Zoey!" she instinctively screamed as she reached a hand out while she fell through the air.
The swooping sensation in her stomach was sickening. The fall was brief but no less frightening. The Eagle Stella and Zo had landed on was sturdy and made no visible indication that it was bothered by their presence on its back. The angry yell of frustration carried in the wind from behind them until it faded into nothing more.
Stella knew she trembling fiercely as she buried her face into the Eagle's feathers with her shoulders hunched up to her ears. Indeed, it was a good long while until she felt even remotely safe. She could hear Fili and Kili shouting Thorin's name but he never answered. She hoped she would hear Bilbo or Bofur but they never spoke either. She flinched when she felt Zo's hand at her back.
"You really have to see this."
She had never heard him sound so in awe before. Very carefully, Stella drew up her knees so she could slowly sit herself up. When she settled into a position that didn't seem so precarious, she opened her eyes. And she gasped.
Far below them were forests and plains that went on for miles. The sun was rising ahead of them and it cast a soft orange glow upon the lush green trees that covered the mountain. The Eagles would swoop down and large rocks of the mountains would rush pass them. Stella had not seen anything more magnificent in her entire life.
Ever so slowly, Stella reached into her tunic to pull out the only object that remained hidden from her tumble in the caves. With practiced ease, she turned on the camera on Zo's phone and aimed at nothing, only the general sight in front of them.
"Is that my phone?" he asked her incredulously.
She took picture after picture of the mountains below them and the trees under them. She twisted and turned so she could get pictures of the Company on the backs of giant Eagles. "Nobody will believe you when you get home. And they don't have to. But it's happening, Zo. And here's the proof."
He was quiet as she zoomed in on Ori, who seemed to be only one who was slightly enjoying himself. When she was in the middle of shifting again, he casually took the phone from her hand. He fiddled with it for a moment before sticking his arm out in front of them.
He cleared his throat before saying, "Might as well get a pic with my best girl then."
Stella sighed and lowered his hand. "Zo…"
"Stella," he cut her off sharply. He pressed his forehead into the back of her neck. "Just give me this, alright?"
She winced before she nodded.
He wrapped one arm around her waist and stuck the camera out again. He said casually, "Besides, I can't miss the opportunity for the ultimate selfie."
Stella stared at herself in the screen of Zo's phone. She hadn't seen her own reflection in weeks. She had not changed much. Her cheeks were still round and her eyes were still wide and her lips weren't chapped. She had dirt all over her face and she could see tear tracks on her face. There were a few spots of blood under her nose and on her forehead. Her hair was a tangled mess but it could be almost be excused by the wind. The only thing that was different about her was something in her expression that almost scared her. But when wasn't she scared those past few days?
So Stella did what she did best: she plastered on a bright smile and didn't blink as Zo took the last picture of them together.
A/N: Shiningheart of ThunderClan expressed the concern that Stella might come across Gollum. I have to be honest, that actually never occurred to me but goodness, I'm having so much fun thinking about it. Maybe I'll write an alternative chapter one day. As for the other concern, Shiningheart, you almost got it but plot twist: Stella got out first. Love it.